Adding up to ninety-seven words to
the three provided, and crafting them to the standard most of us achieve here,
on a regular basis, is no mean feat. For myself, there are occasions when an
opening sentence arrives in an instant, and the rest follows, needing only a
minimum amount of polish. Other times (on a ratio of approximately 7:1) it
takes days for a story to emerge; another for the lumpiness to be beaten out,
but as the standard of entries rises it becomes more imperative that I do so. In
turn I thank those of you who do likewise. The prompt words themselves are mostly
culled from cryptic crosswords, book or CD titles, and I do aim to include one verb
and a couple of words that do not obviously combine. That you so frequently do precisely
that is credit to your powers of inventiveness; no wonder they are occasionally
capricious.
The winner this week, from a
slightly smaller field, is Jim for what I very much hope is not the end
of The Shadow Series.
Words
for next week: blanket lacerate
Victorian
Entries
by midnight (GMT) Thursday 11th June , words and winners posted Friday
12th
Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding
title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the
genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as
always, welcome. All variants and uses of the words and stems are fine. Feel
free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever.
Mellow yellow [Threshold 304]
ReplyDeleteIf Raven insisted on reading my back, I needed to be comfortable whilst he did so. He led me out, to the spiral stairs, up two floors and into a room containing only sunlight and a low settee, reminiscent of a Victorian chaise longue. He moved that to where the light was brightest before opening out, and spreading for me to lie on, a fine-weave, saffron-coloured blanket, uncaring that the roughness of my heels would badly lacerate the silk. I rolled onto my stomach. ‘Read it aloud to me.’
‘It begins with a name –‘
‘Mine? Or yours?’
‘Not mine.’
Good use of the prompts in describing the room and a lesson for me in using narration.
DeleteYour most satisfying Threshold piece yet, Sandra. Unless, of course, you fail to follow through and I'm forced to change my tone. This is such a clever moment in the story and highly anticipated.
DeleteDon't hold your breath, John, she's come closer than this to telling ...
DeleteI am holding my breath. Are you telling me I should exhale?
DeleteAfter five hours, yes. Definitely.
DeleteThere you go again, Sandra. Taunting us with your promise of a name. It ain't gonna happen is it? Nevertheless, what a beautifully crafted episode.
Deletehow to write narrative that's as compelling as dialogue, and the perfect way to set a scene.
DeleteMost well deserved win, Jim. However, I do hope last week's entry was a continuation and NOT the conclusion. Don't disappoint us now.....
ReplyDeletemany congrats, Jim, superb series.
DeleteJim congratulations on your victory. All good things must come to an end. Thanks for creating and sharing that wonderful series. If you haven't you might concider publishing it.
ReplyDeleteI am Back
ReplyDeleteThe body stirred and gasped, filling its lungs for the first time in over one hundred years. His coughing expelled blood, that’s what he assumed those gray drips on his hand were. The Victorian vucana wool blanket showed the lacerations of time. Emerging from the broken pillar, that had held him, his bones popped as he stretched, and his eyes adjusted to being used.
How gauche! As he looked at his clothes. I’m a proper gentleman. He tapped his dragon headed cane on the ground, and almost fainted, as his clothes were made brand new.
“When am I?”
My favorite part of this is 'his bones popped and his eyes adjusted to being used.' A good description of what it would feel like to finally wake up.
DeleteVery nicely done, Jeffrey. Wonderful sense of atmosphere with lovely visuals.
DeleteChange of focus [380]
ReplyDeleteNo detective, with Pettinger’s years of service would’ve avoided seeing the sort of film he had just sat through. From what he knew of Philly Stepcart’s history, she’d already lived the greater part. From the opening scene – Dodger’s pitiful attempts to hide beneath a blood-stained blanket – through the multi-perpetrator abuse (no attempt to muffle grunts of satiation) to the cruelty of the false-hope open door, the necessity of concentration was unavoidable.
Dodger’s tentative escape; the jolted understanding of its trickery, the chase, the rain, the black/white lacerations, the bleeding out, reminiscent of Victorian Jack the Ripper crimes.
Re-winding, reluctant, ‘Again.’
What a compelling account of Dodger's deeds. Very entertaining, Sandra.
DeleteMaking the list of 'must watch' by the police isn't something to crow about...or is it? Dodger and Philly seem tonhave had a few run-ins already.
DeleteWhat a fascinating "find." Do we know who filmed this scenario, or did I miss something crucial?
Deletevividly described in a way that holds the attention all the way through.
DeletePatricia, the scenes were filmed by those who eventually murdered Dodger - suppliers to the snuff industry. Pettinger is watching in the hope that some of those attacking Dodger appear on the film and can be identified, hence his 'Again'. (explaining all that would've taken another 50 words - sorry!)
DeleteSunday after church blues
ReplyDeleteThe Victorian troubadour trembled as he faced Sister Agnes.
“Cedric, we need more inspiring content from our biographers, not clever commentary.”
“So, you want inspiration without cleverness?”
“What we want is for you to make us look good. Not mentioning the bishop’s midnight tryst with visiting nuns and lacerating their blankets would be a good start.”
“But I did leave out the other things…”
“… yes, you did, but also leave this out as well.”
“Perhaps you need fiction writers then.”
“Do you know any?” Agnes said.
“Try PredictionFiction.blogspot.com. These writers do it all. Short and sweet.”
Oh, very clever. And a perfect sample of what they so often achieve.
DeleteI did get a chuckle from Cedric telkling the nuns they need fiction writers, which is what the bible is, a work of fiction.
DeleteOh, John, you creative genius you...always to be relied upon for (as Monty Python once declared) something completely different.
DeleteThe Fallen
ReplyDeleteShe blankets herself in Victorian-style capes of crushed velvet and rich brocade. Their elegance and refinement mask the lacerations on her shoulder blades which, though now almost healed, reflect shameful scars. She removes her stigmatic shield only in the presence of accepting sympathizers and other transgressors who have been exiled from grace.
The courius question is exiled from where? Very well done with narration.
DeleteInteresting how the perfect choice of words - 'brocade' and 'velvet' creates such mind-full richness of scene. And yes, as John points out, present tense.
DeleteI don't blame her for holding a grudge, though her grudge is subtle as she is exciled. Nice job using present tense. I need to try that more often.
Deleteenigmatic piece with many mysteries hidden beneath the simple narrative.
DeleteUtopia, USA
ReplyDeleteThe city was charmed with quaint tree-lined streets and renovated Victorian mansions speckled among manicured neighborhoods. Wealth and privilege blanketed the throngs who walked and shopped and reveled, enjoying what Home and Garden dubbed America’s City.
Unseen, underground, in a vast hidden vault, were the lacerated remains of any who dared interfere with the City Council. It wasn’t easy to maintain the honor of being America’s City. The elected officials were serious about their jobs and stopped at nothing to keep the peace.
The mayor nervously stood to give the annual State of the City address. Likely her last official act.
John, another intriguing tale. A mayor who seems to know where she'll be going soon. A very enjoyable read.
DeletePressure to conform, to present a false exterior - a truly nightmare situation, well captured here.
DeleteThe rot that exists beneath a seeming beautiful exterior - how well you present this, John!
DeleteThis certainly carried an air of doom...if only for the Lady Mayor.
Deletea sideways look at an all-too-possible world...
DeleteKursaal (Episode Two Hundred Six) - "The Brothers Jester"
ReplyDeleteBenny. Handsome Victorian dandy. Preferred dalliances? Retinue of young attractive gentlemen, all of whom adored adored the provocative and fickle Benny.
Arby. Dwarfen. Missing two fingers on his left hand (unfortunate knife-throwing incident during a drunken performance). Accomplished inamorato of the ladies. A most successful one. His "love 'em and leave 'em" attitude created resentment, usually melting later into forgiveness. Arby was a charmer.
And then...Lenny the Loner, though not by choice. Unappealing melancholy wet-blanket, whose heart bore lacerations of incalculable romantic rejections. But Lenny compensated by becoming conversant with Kursaal events...comings-and-goings and the like.
Enviable insight, had anyone known.
--------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: The Jester Brothers (Benny, Arby and Lenny) have all featured in previous episodes (particularly Arby).
Knowing your limitations and your strengths. If I did, perhaps high school wouldn't have been so hard. I liked your use of the prompts and how the episode flowed.
DeleteSo it's Lenny who whispers in your ear, is it, Patricia?
Delete"Adored" duplicated. Ack. Please ignore the second one...although maybe Benny's young gentlemen do adore him enough to say it twice.
DeleteI really enjoyed this episode and getting a reminder with the descriptions of the brothers three. Knowing intimate details about the Kursaal would be beneficial but I don't see Lenny volunteering the info. Nicely done, P.
Deletewhat a portrait drawn here! Some very 'interesting' people to meet and greet once and then avoid in the future ... you're so good at these character studies, Patricia.
DeleteTHE SHADOW SERIES: UNFINISHED?
ReplyDeleteI’m at my computer, fingers stationed above the keyboard, ready for work. My mind, however, sits inert, blanketed by gloom as dark as a Victorian poor house.
I’m a writer... that’s what I do. So why this inept feeling?
Is there nothing more to create about a man and his sinister secrets… about his murdering shadow… about lacerated bodies? I did, after all, execute the shadow’s host in the last episode. Perhaps The Shadow Series has run its course.
I attempted to rise, but couldn’t. Something pressed on my shoulders and a voice behind me whispered. “We’re not done yet.”
Never think you're done with the shadow, Jim. Nor that it has done with you ...
DeleteOooohhhh....spookiness extraordinaire. Delighted to see that last week was not the end of the intrepid Shadow. This is one addictive serialization.
DeleteTalk about an out of body experience. Then again maybe your ghostwriting someone's autobiography. Well done.
DeleteNot done yet... love it. Sometimes, the right prompt word really gets the fingers moving, despite the inept feelings. I look forward to more of your creations, Jim.
DeleteI just read Sandra's comment. Very insightful. Maybe the shadow isn't done with you. Now you've done it.
Deletethere's no way the Shadow is done yet... I hope!
DeleteSnap: Theo receives first nudge towards going undercover
ReplyDeleteAmong Whitby’s many claims to fame are its Victorian associations with Dracula and the jet industry, neither of which impinged upon Theo Duncan, today brought from Saughton prison, to formally identify the badly-lacerated body of his eldest son, discovered in a car which had come to grief on North Yorkshire’s Levisham Moor.
Having done so, they drove him there, snow still blanketing the ground, dirtied and chewed along ruts which evidenced the difficulties of the car’s extraction.
Blind to the beauty of the landscape, Theo’s first words since confirming his son’s name, ‘Accident or murder?’
‘Murder. But still to prove.’
[The sharp-eyed among you will see a major change of plan/discontinuety in Theo’s activities – Snap is very much a work in progress, and these episodes should be seen as individuals rather than part of a whole.]
I loved the images you create in this episode, Sandra... 'car come to grief'... the snow 'dirtied and chewed.' Great writing!
DeleteI liked this so very much. It had to me more of a personal feel than the episodes gone before though, as you point out, these really should be seen individually rather than part of a whole. This is the perfect example.
DeleteYes, a work in progress. As Jim mentioned, wonderful descriptions with good scene setting and yes, I did enjoy it.
DeleteDang, Sandra, you wordsmith you. Very nice.
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 234 - Ready, Steady...
ReplyDeleteSmoke, grey and thick as army blankets, belched from the engine. It cloaked the carriage windows such that anything...or anyone...on the platform beyond became insubstantial.
George probed lacerations on his forehead that had healed during his time at Cripplegate but the war wounds were again oozing blood.
In her first class compartment, the Grande Dame consulted the ornate Victorian watch pinned to her bosom and noted the time.
Relieved at Marmalade's reappearance, Poppy gathered the stuffed-to-the-gills feline into her arms. He yawned widely before settling down to nap.
"I feared you'd be too late," Poppy whispered into his twitching ear.
--------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
----------------------------------------------------------
What wonderful verbs you chose, Patricia... belched, cloaked, probed. So well done!
DeleteThis prompts a most-satisfied smile. Love the scene-setting opening paragraph.
DeleteMarmalade is a wizard and they are never early or late, they arrive on time and when needed. This story flowed very smoothly.
DeleteOften times, though charmingly menacing, Marmalade offers a humorous or quaint aspect to Cripplegate, but not today. Today, his presence seems ominous. You somehow make each episode so entertaining... quite a feat.
Deletelove the 'army blankets' description, conjures many images! Pleased to see Marmalade has welcoming arms to slide into, to sleep off the fish!
DeleteStop The Week; I Want To Get Off (101)
ReplyDeleteWe were shifting power tools today, all too easy to lacerate a finger or other vital parts when handling discs or firing up drills… blanket rules, I stay away from them! Still talking more than doing but talking produces results in sensible plans. In the middle of this some new interesting stock, including delicate and unusual jewellery, some of it Victorian, we think. It’s beautiful and needs its own shelf. I need to remember that when allocating space. The Perspex shield has to be bought, all for my safety, it seems, I will be there but shielded in every way.
Yes, certain restrictions are still in order but things are slowly getting better. I'd love to take a peek at that Victorian jewellery. I can certainly imagine it being worthy of its own shelf...though I don't imagine it will have a home there for very long.
DeleteDo you have any of the stores wares on line? The shield protects everyone and as we again begin to walk before we run.
DeleteIt's good to see you back at the shop with actual customers coming soon. You can't go wrong with power tools and jewelry, I think. Even though I have a cordless drill, if I saw another one at a good price, I'd probably buy it.
DeleteJeffrey, everything I think worth advertising goes on Wightbay, where the shop is an entity in itself.
DeleteJohn, no customers allowed in yet, we can't have open doors until the 15th and even then we will stay closed until renovations are done. If a council worker comes in and we aren't Covid-compliant, we can be out out of business again. What we're doing is preliminary work, today I filled three black bags ready for the waste disposal guy tomorrow, who is just picking up customers again. Such a lot of economic damage has been done by the lockdown. We have someone coming Monday to look at the South African table we have had since forever, suddenly three's a rush of interest in it. The person who is coming is South African (by her accent) so I consider it sold. Monday a van load of stuff goes to the communal tip. Then a load of tools go to Shaun's workshop. Then we re-arrange the cabinets and furniture...so I think another week at least before I can turn the sign round to show OPEN but if we get it right, it will be well worth it.
So many adjustments to be made, and things un-previously thought of. Fingers crossed all goes well for you and Shaun, Antonia.
DeleteThis island is devoted to Victoria, visiting us causes a blanket of everything Victorian to descend, you almost have to suffer laceration to escape! It’s a comforting world, though, one which makes it easy for me to slide into the past with whichever visitor I have here. The riots caused by the sacrifice made by George Floyd have resulted in many a slave dealer being venerated, which took me straight back to William Gladstone, my recent visitor. A rich and wise man who did no more than follow the crowds. The past is indeed a different country.
ReplyDeleteNot only a different country but also a different time with different values. Although I'm sure we still don't know every in-and-out of each era. I think it's nice though to maintain some mystery.
DeleteHistory doesn't change, how it's viewed or expressed does. There are many here who think that Robert E. Lee didn't own slaves, which unfortunately isn't the case.
DeleteGeorge Floyd certainly accomplished a lot with his death. A sad way to get things done. I like your explanation of the past and the different mindsets.
DeleteThe Mad Italian (160)
ReplyDeleteA benign blanket of ‘look how much we care’ issue from lacerated minds crumbling under the need to control the virus and boost the economy. This is not the world Victoria knew, the current precautions do not sit well with Victorian buildings and monuments which litter the island. The UK has its own individual battles of what to reject and what to maintain – with many a statue due for demolition now in the frantic zeal to Remove All Trace of racism. It cannot be done. Man is by his very nature racist, the ‘other’ is always the one to avoid.
What an excellent opening line! IMHO, man can at time be a biased creature but racism is taught.
DeleteI too enjoyed that first sentence. Though it is The Italian's thought, I feel you helped with the crafting, so hats off to you both.
DeleteRight, Antonia, all traces of racism cannot be removed. All of us need a 'time out.'
DeleteThe cry that echoes down the ages and is as current today. Nobody wants to be different. I think it's part of the human character, that desire to fit in.
ReplyDeleteOne of my channelled books is from a prehistoric woman who was head of a tribe of cave dwellers. She mentions their fear of 'others' who came to steal children and stock. The racism was there back then, in the fear of the predator, the race of people stronger and more determined than the ones they preyed on. My writing goes far and wide, from Starseed to today's troubled land. Sometimes I feel very very old...
DeleteI’m Back 2
ReplyDeleteShe woke as he tucked the blanket around her.
“I didn’t mean to break up your mourning gathering, after that uncouth barbarian struck you. I batty-fanged him, then treated your lacerations. He shan’t bother you again.”
“Willy, you ass-hole! That was my fiancé. It was a quarrel. You shouldn’t have beat him.”
“Such un-Victorian language, young lady. Don’t advertise in Swell’s Night Guide and you’ll find a better grade of man as a betrothed. Why did he call me Willy Wonka?”
“You look like him.”
“I like it, your name is?”
“I’m Mandie.”
“Mandie, who’s the queen?”
“Why, Elizabeth is.”
I shouldn't say this, but on the first read, I mistook the t in tucked as an f and thought, I suppose you could do that to a blanket. But anyway, this Willy Wonka resembling character is shaping up nicely. It seems he might be from the past?
DeleteInteresting visual, Jeffrey. Willy Wonka. I always imagine the Gene Wilder version rather than Johnny Depp.
Delete