Friday 8 May 2020

Light before half four


John’s ‘The curious cases of Dr. A. Marie Abernathy, Part 4’  has me enthralled, avid for continuation, and it is because I am trusting that won’t be the last (so I’ll have another opportunity to name him winner,) I’m placing him in third place. Patricia earns herself a vermilion rosette for her ‘Glory Day’ trilogy and David takes first place for ‘The Miner Forty-Niner’.

Such richness of writing deserves applause.  I have applauded myself this week, for finally making available as ebooks the first three of my ‘Love triangles with murder’ series. Details are on my Lines of communication blog for anyone interested – DI John Pettinger makes an appearance in ‘Commission & omission’. 

Words for next week: angle parody square

Entries by midnight (GMT) Thursday 14th May , words and winners posted Friday 15th

 Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and uses of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever.

108 comments:

  1. Three good choices for mention this week, Sandra. Well done everyone who contributed.

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    1. I consider 3rd place an accomplishment considering the talent on here. There were some fantastic stories last round. Congrats to us all.

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    2. To be counted among the top three this week is an honour indeed, given the calibre of creativity around here. But much applause to David for a truly outstanding submission.

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    3. jdeegan536@yahoo.com9 May 2020 at 17:36

      Your entry is an excellent choice for top honors, David. Congrats also to John and Patricia.

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    4. congrats to David for a superb story, and to John and Patricia, great reading.

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    5. jdeegan536@yahoo.com10 May 2020 at 18:09

      HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to my fellow writers who are mothers.

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  2. The Secret Armadillo Soldier (SAS) Diaries - entry 106


    Nigel was already watchful as Tosca adopted a stiff stance and Atlas snouted the air.

    ‘Got company,’ said Tosca, performing a clever parody of his true skill with deliberately clumsy, angular, movements.

    Atlas sniffed again and chuckled, ‘I know that whiff.’

    Tosca relaxed.

    Nigel sniffed too, recognising the scent of the soldier he’d sent to base burrow earlier, as well the smell of a fellow operative.
    ‘Glad y’ cud join us Armi,’ he said as the pair ambled from behind the boulder.

    ‘Yer soldier’s a mite sloppy; I knocked ‘im square on the noggin’.’ Armi indicated the stirring sentry.

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    1. It's good to see the group reassembling. It would be a mixed blessing to have a snout and be able to identify scents so acutely. But then, not all scents are desirable.

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    2. It's enjoyable how you use how an armadillo lives to humanize them. That dialect is precious.

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    3. Love Tosca's use of the prompts.

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    4. it's the natural dialogue which makes this flow and the reader accept the concept of dillos who have a strange complicated fascinating lifestyle - soldiers to a dillo, so they are.

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    5. Again, the use of 'dillo dialogue is so much an essential part of this serialization's charm. So entertaining every week. I envy your focus.

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  3. The curious cases of Dr. A. Marie Abernathy, Part 5

    Like a parody of information-challenged squares, the trio pondered.

    “Nanobots?” said Detective Thorne.

    “Good angle, but who controls them?”

    “The Chinese?” said Dr. Abernathy.

    “They have enough on their plate with Wuhan,” the writer said.

    “You’d better come up with something before the group gets restless.”

    “This is a character driven story, you know.”

    “Characters created by you, I might add,” said Abernathy.

    “He’s always liked you best,” said Thorne.

    “Okay, calm down. How about we just move on to the next case?”

    Abernathy and Thorne raised their collective eyebrows.

    “I’ll get back to the lab then.”

    “Good chat,” said Thorne.

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    1. agree with Sandra 100% on that opening line, the important one. The rest of it was pretty good, too... (LOL)

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    2. Always so very different from anything else on offer here, and yet so very indicative of your unique style that name of the author is totally unnecessary. I see others applauded the opening line which, for me, was good but that closing statement was the clincher in my opinion.

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  4. This is enjoyable arguing between the characters, like they're children, which is pretty much how we think of them. Very well done.

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  5. Angle, parody, square


    Myth Conceptions

    “Information for the square angle of your brain. The parody is what you thought was true. I don’t care how many carrots you eat; you won’t see better. The British created this during WW2. British planes had radar, the Germans didn’t.
    Catherine, Tsarina of Russia, didn’t die having sex with a horse or on a toilet. She died in her bed, after collapsing in her water closet.
    Vikings never made a fashion statement with horned helmets. For that inaccuracy we need to thank the ceremonial Oseberg tapestry, historical misinterpretation, and Wagner’s Nibelungenlied. Sorry if I killed the rabbit for you.”

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    1. As long as the myth of Richard Gere and the gerbils isn't dispelled...

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    2. Loaded with historical references, this is a testament to your wealth of knowledge, Jeffrey.

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  6. Ungirding my loins [Threshold 300]

    Enough!
    Pissed off with my parody of meekness; no longer giving a shit for modesty, I turned my back on the ebony-skinned pair and began to fill the bath.
    Behind me, she addressed Raven, sharp-angled accent suggesting she not from here; his murmured reply similarly foreign.
    The bath filled.
    Trusting they’d take the offering of my potentially daggy bum as the insult I intended I unknotted and dropped to the floor the sand-stiff cloth I’d worn for weeks.
    Judging from their horror, seen reflected in the brass-framed square of mirror, they did.
    Then Raven’s cry suggested it was something other.

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    1. Either her bum was daggier than expected or something else made Raven cry out. I have a theory, but it's far fetched. I'll wait and see.

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    2. I also would add, I love the title. It would help if you came up with another garment she could wear.

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    3. John, I'm glad you have a theory about what Raven has seen, because I don't have a clue. however I'm hoping he or Gaudy lady will have some spare garments somewhere, to ease your oft-mentioned concern ...

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    4. Learned a new word-daggy-thank you. Perhaps upon seeing her like that he felt her pain as his. Being insulted wouldn't bring out horror, to me. Indignation perhaps. Either way, a nicely set scene and you do use narration very well.

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    5. My theory was Raven noticed a swell in ner belly. That would make any man cry out.

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    6. ... Interesting theory, John, but not one I'd thought of ...

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    7. between the two of you there's a rare fine serial on the go here...

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    8. I also wonder what caused Raven to cry out. John's theory is indeed a possibility, but by no means a certainty. You constantly leave us on tenterhooks, Sandra.

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  7. Change of focus [376]

    Daisy-painted Docs. A minor detail, but re-angling investigation to incorporate inconsistencies often led to insight. Pettinger’s question had been rhetorical; Philly Stepcart’s suggestion the Docs not Dodger’s further indication her parody of sulky teen hid a street-smart brain incisive as his own; jolting his into recollecting she a journalist. With another question.
    ‘Can’t you match – dunno, toe-prints, wear’n’tear – of boots to feet? Some sort of database of footprints? Chances are they weren’t always his. You any other clues?’
    ’A key –‘ Bollocks, he’d not meant to say –
    ‘What sort?’
    ‘Square-ended. An omega logo –‘
    Omega?’ Not-quite-pretty face paled. ‘Christ!, Pettinger!’

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    1. Loved that 'not quite pretty face.' Pettinger must have it bad if he unintentionally blurted out evidence. Masterful dialogue in this, Sandra. (Note, the British spelling of dialog.)

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    2. I agree with John on your dialogue. Omega, last letter in the Greek alphabet, means last or end. It's also the symbol for resistance in electrical schematics.

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    3. jdeegan536@yahoo.com11 May 2020 at 19:23

      Count me as another in praise of your dialog, Sandra. 'Street-smart brain' and 'Not-quite-pretty face' = Great stuff!

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    4. the writing appears effortless but I know from experience that's the result of lots and lots and lots of writing. This instalment is silk smooth to the eyes and addictive chocolate to the mind.

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    5. In my opinion, Antonia said it best and having nothing of equal substance to add, I shall leave it there.

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  8. Gathering magic – 13


    The angular contours of the White Mountains loomed closer as they journeyed and Batt flitted nervously as he spoke, ‘Taking magic from one place affects another: It needs careful borrowing’

    ‘I took lots of fairy magic,' She fingered the fairy-skull necklace, ‘they just died.’

    Fairies channel magic in the world; when they are gone where will we be?’

    ‘What happened when I took HIS magic then?’ She took out the square-jawed skull.

    Batt drew his wings about himself and perched warily, in a parody of the dead wizard, ‘Nothing good, I’m sure.'

    Carefully, she placed the skulls on the grass.

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    1. I'm picturing Batt's face, carefully drawing his wings, at the sudden sight of that skull.

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    2. Like Jeffrey, I too enjoyed this conversation and interaction. It's good to see her speaking and possibly listening... though her listening skills could use some work.

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    3. wings being used as a garment, a lovely touch to add to the image Batt creates. Nice one, Terrie.

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    4. This reminded me so much of those pewter Dungeon & Dragon type figurines that were so popular a while back. Personally, I would have kept my eye out for a little statue of Batt parodying a dead wizard. What a quality of writing we do have here.

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  9. Lovely first line! Interesting that magic is borrowed not really taken. So, does that mean it can be returned? It's nice to see a relationship develop between her and Batt.

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  10. Angle, parody, square

    Through Hell

    The irony of the sign,
    may have been by design.
    Is the message that obtuse?
    The gate wasn’t abstruse.

    Foggy moonlit night’s shadows of hilarity.
    Unfortunately, they aren't a parody.
    The road traveled is but a series of squares,
    I find are filled with despair.

    Life has no angle, though people do.
    Which is unfortunate but true.
    Hell isn’t filled with pain.
    We create that binding chain.

    Bubbling mud and baleful screams,
    Images of souls and sounds of dreams.
    I really shouldn’t have a pout,
    The gate closed on my way out.

    Or did it?

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    1. jdeegan536@yahoo.com11 May 2020 at 19:15

      Or did it? A great twist in this finishing line, Jeffrey. I'm hoping it closed after you made your way out.

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    2. You create lots of tension in this little poem, which is important to me as I don't like a story where everything goes right. With that said, I think I'd chose another road to travel. this one is full of strife.

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    3. Yes, it is that final line that makes this piece so intriguing.

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  11. Snap: Pickering to Whitby road, 13th December 2012

    ‘Who phoned it in?’
    ‘Couple returning from a party. Driver very pregnant wife. She saw the tracks. Sent husband to investigate. Worried the snow would cover them if they left it any longer.’
    They watched blue-suited SOCOs performing their balletic parody around a badly mis-angled car, the still-green square beneath testament as to how long it had been there.
    ‘How many?’
    ‘Two. Husband – he sobered up pdq – guessed mother and son, but pretty smashed up. Their bad luck to hit the only standing stone for miles –‘
    ‘Edinburgh reg.’ He checked his phone.
    ‘Christ. Scrub mother. Substitute high-class Edinburgh whore.’

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    1. jdeegan536@yahoo.com10 May 2020 at 22:50

      Whoops! Talk ab!out a disaster! Could it have been intentional?

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    2. Very good question Jim. This is a prime example of how brilliantly Prediction works for me: I expanded this 100 word snippet into the 300+ word beginning of a scene in my current wip, with the help of maps and Google, which then seeded consideration of what was happening elsewhere. Still have more to come, having now researched the car she was driving. Not sure yet why Lucy Longland came off the road, but powerful friends are already asking.

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    3. A well thought out piece, Sandra. Very polished. The element of one of the victims being a lady of the evening should ruffle some feathers.

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    4. just the kind of crime writing I like best!

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    5. Now that I did not expect....although I probably should have anticipated something along those lines given the source. True crime writing on display here.

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  12. Sometimes you have bad luck and others it's made for you. I'm curious as to how he knows from the registration, the dead lady is a whore? Maybe the detective is a Hibs supporter.

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  13. jdeegan536@yahoo.com10 May 2020 at 20:11

    THE SHADOW SERIES: I STILL AM

    The shot shattered the night.

    Dread filled every square inch of me upon realizing that you were gone. “You were my refuge… my asylum,” I mutely moaned. “Now I’m nothing but a dark parody of you… a sourceless shadow.”

    Suddenly, a revelation: Were I in you when you died, I wouldn’t be! But I exist! I still am!

    But I must exercise caution until I find a new footing. Can I enter a new host? Must I hide from angles of light that would expose me?

    Still, those questions notwithstanding, I shall continue stalking prey on moonless nights.

    Like tonight.

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    1. A parasite, looking for ways to adapt and a new host. Well done, Jim.

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    2. Applause from me for 'square inch'. As well as the dilemma.

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    3. The shadow moaned mutely, like he screamed soundlessly last week. Nice touch. Looking forward to seeing this sourceless shadow operate.

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    4. this could lead to anything and that's the worry, what nastiness is out there for the shadow to find and use?

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    5. I can now breathe a sigh of relief knowing that last week was not the end of our elusive Shadow. What comes next will no doubt be as amazing as what has gone before.

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  14. The Secret Armadillo Soldier (SAS) Diaries - entry 107


    Pink Fairy paced the parlour floor, dumped the small, square, ‘dillobag from his shoulder onto the sofa and threw himself down next to it. ‘He wasn’t well enough to sneak off fighting’

    Brenda handed him a snifter of termite-tequila and gently tucked the trailing end of feather boa over his shoulder at a jaunty angle.
    She knew Pink Fairy showed an outward appearance of helplessness but he was Mr Armi’s brother and his vulnerability was a parody of what he was actually capable of. Y’know he dun wot he aluz duz, Mr Pink, he puts uvvers afore his self.’

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    1. Didn't know Pink Fairy was related to Armi.(You probably mentioned it and I didn't catch it.) Termite tequila nice!

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    2. Love Brenda's insightfulness, s well as the termite tequila.

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    3. I like how you keep all the characters active and include little reminders about them, like Fairy and Armi being brothers. I can only imagine what termite tequila would taste like.

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    4. what kind of container would termite tequila be in??? now see what you've started, Terrie! Definitely an excellent instalment.

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    5. jdeegan536@yahoo.com14 May 2020 at 16:45

      You have made Pink Fairy a very interesting character, Terrie.

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    6. Again, yet another study in characterization. And that word..."parlour." Not used anywhere near enough these days in my opinion. It conjures up such elegance.

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  15. The Heavy Heart

    He stood in the angular shadows of the evergreens and watched the pine needles dance along the path of checkered squares that paved the way to the city. They had travelled that path, the Four Musketeers...or so he thought. He'd kept faith in the camaraderie. All for one. One for all. Nothing but lies. He knew that now. Abandoned, forgotten and alone.

    In the end, he'd been but a parody of a man and he hoped it wouldn't be long before the make-believe heart in his tin chest stopped beating.

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    1. Aha! The dancing pine needles ...

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    2. Yeah, I always wondered about that pocket watch. You could see in the tin man's face that he was skeptical of it. Very enjoyable, Patricia.

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    3. the innocence of the original story has been warped a few times but this is the best I've seen, quietly and gently done.

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  16. Another very well done revision. Maybe the warranty hasn't expired yet.

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  17. jdeegan536@yahoo.com12 May 2020 at 00:01

    Perhaps this tin man had been hoping for a bit much. Can he wield a sword?

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  18. Cripplegate Junction/Part 231 - Playing The Game
    (100 Words)

    Miss Constance and her brother George settled into a First Class Carriage. On the seat between them, a "Snakes and Ladders" board game. George removed the lid.

    "Remember playing this as kids?"

    Constance's gloved finger traced one of the serpents, from his angled open mouth to the bottom of his low-numbered tail.

    "I always hated sliding down this."

    George nodded.

    "Parody of life, really." She continued. "You get so far and then something invariably comes along to drag you down."

    "Cheer up, Sis," George encouraged. "May never happen."

    "I fear it already has," she sighed. "Back to Square One, George."

    --------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
    http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
    ----------------------------------------------------------

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    1. Wasn't it wonderful how deeply, as children, we could enter into this game? I still remember the immersion of it, and the longest snake of all, yellow descending from 98 to 4. Thanks for the memories Patricia.

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    2. Patricia, this is so good. I loved how Constance recalled the game by touching the board. At the end, it seems like she is starting to realize the precarious nature of her existence in this place. I wonder, after purchasing a first class ticket, do the riders get a refund when the train remains in place?

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    3. jdeegan536@yahoo.com12 May 2020 at 16:33

      Great final line, Patricia! I'm wondering what ominous cloud is hanging over Miss Constance's head?

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    4. I think Snakes and Ladders is one of the more infuriating board games, getting ahead, hitting that long long snake, as Sandra says, all the way back down, and yes, it is a metaphor for life as we know it, especially now. The coronavirus is the longest snake down imaginable!
      All this written in 100 words of pure class, no over writing, no explanations, it's all there. Good one!

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  19. What a nice use of allusion. To some life is a game, but a very serous game. An excellent story Patricia.

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  20. Just Another Day

    Parody man, in blue pajamas, toyed with the remaining squares of cereal floating in the milk. He sighed when the bowl disappeared and the morning paper materialized.

    “I wasn’t through with that!”

    When the echoes subsided, he started reading. The printed words started to move; inked angular lines striking out the good parts.

    “Screw you and your mother!” He tore the paper to shreds.

    He found himself fully dressed.

    “I’m not going to work today!”

    His receptionist breezed by, a trail of Chanel #9 in her wake.

    “Fine, but I’m not going to do anything!”

    He opened a file and began.

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    1. I don't like this one little bit ... but that's the point, isn't it?

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    2. I'm so curious what file he opened. Yes, what Jim said about your imagination.

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    3. What a great Twilight Zone episode this would make. The visual effects alone would be worth a double watch. What an imagination you do possess, John.

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  21. jdeegan536@yahoo.com12 May 2020 at 16:27

    Very creative, John! Your great imagination is again on display.

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  22. Kursaal (Episode Two Hundred Three) - "The Mysterium Manuscripts/Part Three"

    Leaflet found within a small casket located near The Mysterium's Obfuscation Orb.

    "Customary configuration of the Obfuscation Orb, a mirrored sphere, oftentimes transforms into an angled polygon, each gradient revealing an image of subtle difference. Although unusual, the globe has been known to adopt a quadrilateral. Perfect square with each panel depicting totally dissimilar spectacles. The Obfuscation Orb undoubtedly possesses shape-shifting properties. It reflects both parody and reality. The sublime and the ridiculous.

    "It is recommended that the Obfuscation Orb be interpreted only by those proficient in the art of divination. Elucidation by the unskilled could prove calamitous."

    --------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
    http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
    ---------------------------------------------------------

    NOTE: The Obfuscation Orb and The Mysterium Manuscripts have both featured in previous episodes.

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    1. I'd back off, smartish. Several feet. Then turn and run.

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    2. The Obfuscation Orb sounds a little like a Magic Eight Ball. Like Frodo, I'll look into the pool. Excellent and imaginative story, Patricia.

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    3. A pretty neat bit of technical writing. What a versatile celestial object this orb is.

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    4. the style of the notice is perfect, capturing the mystery of the orb and, for some, making a direct invitation to play games with it, regardless of the warnings... because when did people ever take notice of notices??

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  23. The Joy of Mediumship 4
    It seemed like a quiet week for visitors, me being heavily engaged in the magazine work, but Mr Gladstone visited. His relationship with Queen Victoria has been parodied a few times, I hoped for answers but his determination, square on in the face of questions, said in effect ‘the weekly visit is sacrosanct’ and that I can understand. Looking at the world from his angle is fascinating, he did so much, held office so long and through it all emerged as the honest politician with wonderful quotes. My favourite is
    Selfishness is the greatest curse of the human race.

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    1. That's a very thought provoking quote. Thanks for sharing it.

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    2. This is an interesting series, Antonia. It allows me to experience vicariously.

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    3. Don't know much about the accomplishments of the British Prime Ministers, but Gladstone is one name that I do recognize. Unfortunately, the connection that most comes to mind for me is associated with a bag. Please give the Honorable William Ewart Gladstone apologies for my ignorance.

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  24. Stop The Week; I Want To Get Off (97)
    The current parodies on the coronavirus, using Bohemian Rhapsody as their base, are hysterical, which is much how I feel at the moment. The square remains deserted, nothing being angled up front for sale anywhere, a gloom settled over the town. Shaun said yes to the plans, then added his own, not opening until July whatever happens, whatever government decrees, so we get time to clean the shop, windows and all and do the work without killing ourselves. I’m oddly depressed, very unusual for me; I’m possibly spending too much time thinking… not a good habit to get into!

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    1. Good that Shaun liked the plans. My area of New York, The Finger Lakes, is beginning Phase 1 opening on Friday. My wife and daughters store might be in the Phase 2 opening, in three weeks. I appreciate you sharing these slices of your life.

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    2. Mama-mia, mama-mia. Lots of deserted stores here too. It's funny, you can buy a pair of shoes at Walmart, but not at a shoe store. It doesn't seem fair.

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    3. My husband, now allowed out on his beloved motorbikes, reported several shops open in our nearest town, Antonia. Trust the same is happening where you are.

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    4. Thinking does tend to take over most of the day lately. Unfortunately, it doesn't always stay on the lighter path. July will come around soon enough, Antonia and it sounds like you will be all done and dusted in readiness.

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  25. The Mad Italian (156)
    What you have at the moment, no matter which country you are in, is a parody of government, with the statement that it is really no laughing matter. How could the care homes be the source of so much death and suffering and no one realise it? Now they all have to confront the problem square on whether they like it or not. From every angle, this is an unmitigated disaster for the incumbent ministers. I trust they will take better care of their elderly in future. We do not all rush to get to the other side of life...

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    1. One would hope that happens but never rely on a politician to do what should be done, they'll only do what's expedient politically for them to do. Our president wants the CDC to redefine what a COVID-19 death is, so the official number can be reduced.

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    2. The nail was hit on the head here about people and governments being forced to confront the problems square on. We need to isolate and also we have to consider the economy... but how?

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    3. jdeegan536@yahoo.com14 May 2020 at 16:40

      Both countries have too many people running their mouths like the Keystone Cops with voices. 'A parody of government' is right on, Antonia.

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    4. I have always had my doubts about the integrity of "old people's homes." When I was younger, we'd hear such horror stories...I'm afraid there may have been more than an element of truth in many of them.

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  26. Back tomorrow with comments on the stories - not good tonight, need some rest. That sounds ridiculous when I'm not working but sometimes just being home is incredibly hard work...

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  27. Angle, parody, square

    Why Aliens Come Here

    “Balephom, why do you like these creatures?”
    “They have a unique angle on life?”
    “You know that most of your fellow scientists view you as a parody.”
    “Malpar, I was placed in command. This is the only intelligence we’ve discovered that didn’t go crazy, when discovering they weren’t the only life in the universe.”
    “Okay, so…”
    “They think outside the square. They hide our probes, deny the truth, discredit the reputations of all who see or record us. Weather balloons was funny.”
    “So…”
    “They are dangerous! We either understand why they do this, or we destroy them.”

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    1. Creative piece, Jeffrey. I hope I am among the creatures and not the ones who study. I didn't quite get, 'Weather balloons was funny.'

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    2. Thanks for your support of my writing. The weather balloon was a joke about what the Roswell and other UFO sightings were called by the military.

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    3. Your dialogue pieces are always a delight, Jeffrey. My goodness, you are certainly on a roll this week.

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  28. jdeegan536@yahoo.com14 May 2020 at 16:34

    IT appears that we humans are in big trouble, Jeffrey. You present a very logical conclusion by the aliens. As the reporter said in the Sci-Fi classic "The Thing": Look to the skies! They are coming!"

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