This week, I
doubt I’ll have much dissension over my choice of David’s ‘Lucinda and the
Beast’. since praise other than mine included ‘well-crafted piece […] a
pleasure to read’, ‘Show, don't tell: a classic example’, ‘ quite stunning
[…]the beauty of the language’, and ‘delicate, horrifying, inevitable’. All of
which, in their recognition and acknowledgement of the craft, make the hosting of this site
both a pleasure and a reason for pride.
Words
for next week: jaw ostracise Pavlov
Entries
by midnight (GMT) Thursday 28th May , words and winners posted Friday
29th
Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding
title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the
genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as
always, welcome. All variants and uses of the words and stems are fine. Feel
free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever.
Snap: DS McCallan; the morning after
ReplyDeleteSober suit, hasty-shaven jaw. All-too-graphic explanation for the delaying of this morning’s briefing: he’d been to tell the parents of their daughter’s death.
Regarding his team – all red-eyed as he, and not only for the lack of sleep – he recalled the Pavlovian pleasure on being given his promotion, his DI’s justifiably-shared pride and congratulation.
Since then, all had been disaster. One raid without arrests; this second ending in death. At least – and Darbyshere would surely concur? – death preceded ostracisation, because he’d no desire to tell them of Jo’s betrayal.
Silence fell to hear his, ‘DI Darbyshere’s out of danger. Probably.’
You can cut the tension with a knife. Very good narration, Sandra.
DeleteVery crisp writing. Telling parents of a childs death would be very difficult and you showed this very well with just a few words.
DeleteLoved the imagery of 'sober suit, hasty-shaven jaw.' Short and yet says so much!
Deletetight dramatic writing, goes straight for the jugular.
DeleteThis certainly was some "morning after" by all accounts. I have to agree with Antonia on this one. The writing was both tight and dramatic indeed.
DeleteThe curious cases of Dr. A. Marie Abernathy, Part 8
ReplyDelete“From the jawbone of an ass,” Detective Thorne said as he read the report.
“That doesn’t apply here,” said Dr. Abernathy. “At all.”
He looked up at the writer and rolled his eyes.
“The Harvester is going to regret operating on your beat,” he said, tapping the report. “How did you do it?”
“I’d be ostracized if I didn’t give credit to Allen. Best assistant ever.”
“Who’s that guy with the salivating dogs?” said Thorne. “You know, with the bell.”
“Pavlov?”
“No, that doesn’t sound right.” He turned to leave. “I’ll look it up.”
“It’s Pavlov. And go arrest that bastard.”
I'm truly loving this series, and the space you give me for my mind to wander (and wonder)
DeleteArresting Pavlov! I'll second Sandra's comment on enjoying this series.
DeleteEnjoyed the back and forth between the two characters, and how Thorne didn't trust her answer. :)
Deletethis easy back and forth dialogue is incredibly hard to sustain - you're doing it as if it's easy.
DeleteThis reads and rolls so easily and without effort and yet I know it cannot be that easy to achieve....or can it? I am loving this serialization.
DeleteYour entry was undoubtedly the right choice, David! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteYes, David, a most enjoyable piece.
DeleteMagnificent choice for first place. Congratulations, David. I believe everyone's comments last week spoke for themselves on that one.
Deleteloved that story, David, you had to be top dog (excuse pun) last week.
DeleteJaw, ostracize, Pavlov
ReplyDeleteThe Wild Things
Desperate to escape,
Changing bones, wild skin drapes.
Tormentors names
With songs are proclaimed.
Hunter's disk rises into starry ground.
Broken bodies fall from wheelchair cages.
Feral canines Pavlovian response.
Scarlet eyes now match, eye of night.
Ostracized by birth’s fate,
Pact they celebrate,
Pack they create,
Comeuppance soon they will partake.
For offering of pain,
They now gain.
Hunter’s claw
and carnivore’s jaw.
Ravenous howls.
Death prowls.
Snout catches wind of prey’s scent.
Now starts dark hunting event.
Death’s heralds,
Freed from prison.
Running with growing lust.
Let’s hope and pray, they aren’t after us.
Definately some wild things in this little diddy. My favoite lines were hunter's claw and canivore' jaw.
DeleteI also loved 'hunter's claw and carnivore's jaw,' as well as 'ravenous howls, death prowls.' Loved the flow of this piece and that last line from the narrator 'let's hope and pray, they aren't after us.'
DeleteI have to admit that I often feel as though I am missing something crucial within your poetic submissions, Jeffrey. My fault, not yours though I hasten to add. Regardless, the flow of this was quite lovely.
DeleteChange of focus [378]
ReplyDelete‘Snuff’. The word alone produced a Pavlovian reaction, but bile rather than saliva. Pettinger swallowed. To Philly Stepcart, ‘I didn’t know. Explain. Please.’
Which she did, at length and in head-throbbing, jaw-numbing – like being many times punched – detail.
‘How … how do you know all this?’
Grimly. ‘Infiltration. Omega is clever. Spots the ostracised; the solitaries. I played the part well enough to convince –‘
‘Omega?’ It’s just one man?’
Stepcart reined in her scorn; Pettinger was at least taking her seriously. If nothing else Dodger’s death will have prompted investigation.
‘No Inspector. Dodger was a boy. Omega’s a woman.’
That was unexpected. I've had a few friends in the day that swallowed their chewing tobacco.
DeleteLoved the phrase 'in head-throbbing, jaw-numbing ... detail.' I've listened to a few stories from family that feel that way. :)
DeleteStepcart reined in her scorn... just one of many clever lines in this one. Your way with words is enviable.
Deletethe prompts lose themselves in this instalment, so neatly wrapped in to all that's going on - and there's always a lot going on.
DeleteI have to admit to going back and deliberately searching for the prompts and then being surprised to find them since they blended so seamlessly on a first reading.
DeleteNot exactly salivating [Threshold 302]
ReplyDeleteOstracism. That was a new one. I turned, giving them full-frontal view, since my rear had so horrified. (Surely they’d seen a week’s ingrained desert-dirt before?)
Raven at least grew easier; my breasts had never been exactly jaw-dropping but he’d once shown something approaching Pavlovian appreciation.
‘What?’
‘Your back ¬‘
‘What about my back?’
He stepped closer. Searched my eyes. Struggled to understand. ‘It doesn’t hurt? No, obviously not. You don’t feel it? Didn’t even feel it as it was being done? Turn round again.’
I did so.
’I can’t tell what – it’s writing. But with scalpel, or hot wire?’
Seeing anyone, not to mention someone I cared about had been branded like a slave, would drive me crazy, and put a name(s) on my bucket list.
DeleteA chilling discovery. Very curious what it means!
DeleteDang, Sandra, you're on fire. This is great. The Pavlovian appreciation of breasts is a zinger and a half. Perhaps her name is written on her flesh?
Deletedefinitely interesting... and I'm waiting to find out what they used for the braznd... or is that one of your close held secrets at the moment?
DeleteThe history behind our nameless...well, nameless to us anyway...protagonist remains something of an enigma. To be so young, and I do believe picking up somewhere along the line that she is young, and have experienced so much. What a fascinating creature she is. I would guess as to her name, but I'm pretty sure it's nothing less than extraordinary.
DeleteWriting!? With a scalpel or hot wire!? Have we a sadist afoot? A very interesting entry, Sandra.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a Dog’s Life
ReplyDeleteDog One – I think this is working.
Dog Two – Hope so. My jaw is aching from all the salivating.
Dog Three – I’m hankering for a big juicy bone.
Dog One – Such poetic justice. We’re conditioning him into believing he’s conditioning us.
Dog Three – I’d crack it with my teeth…
Dog One – Once this comes out he’ll be ostracised by the scientific community. They’ll spit in the dirt whenever the name Pavlov is mentioned.
Dog Three - …and suck out the marrow.
Dog One – He’s coming. You know what to do when the bell rings.
Dog Two – I’m salivating already.
David, what a twist you've spun here, nicely put together. Enjoyed Dog 3, with his focus on the bone.
DeleteDog 3 is my favorite too. Reminds me of the dogs from the animated movie Up haha, though this does seem quite a bit more sinister. :)
DeleteLittle effort needed to make this into an animated cartoon.
DeletePretty clever, David. I almost believe this is how it really went down.
Deleteyou've got into the dogs' heads for sure!! brilliant story.
DeleteI loved this. So innovative. As alluded to in earlier comments by others above, I see this transitioning so well into a comic strip or something similar. I very much like Dog Three. He obviously has his (or her) own agenda.
DeleteTies
ReplyDeleteAgen closed her eyes, blocking out Tilain’s rage. He continued to rant and pace, the sound of his boots against the floor like hammer strikes.
“How could you be so foolish! To antagonize a Sky Lord like that? They’ll see us ostracized from the Aerie. Pavlov wants our heads, Agen.”
“I could not stand by, Tilain,” Agen said quietly, opening her eyes. Her brother was glaring out the window, his jaw clenched.
“It’s not for you to save them.”
“And if I were stripped of my wings? Cast aside?”
“Don’t make me choose, Agen. The Aerie is all I have.”
Well done and I enjoyed the allusion. Boots against the floor like hammer strikes, is a very good line.
DeleteSiblings with opposing agendas; I like the weight of that final line.
DeleteA uniquely intriguing entry, Holly. One can feel the tension between the two. Antagonizing a Sky Lord may not be advisable, but Agen had probably reached her threshold.
DeleteHolly, this is intriguing, you've set up all sorts of interesting pathways this might go and will no doubt take the least expected of them.
DeleteNow there's a threat in that last line if I ever heard one. Many questions here and I hope you plan on providing the answers.
DeleteThis is ingenious, David... and probably true. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteHa, our comments on David's story are similar. What are you doing way down here?
DeleteKursaal (Episode Two Hundred Five) - "A Dog's Life"
ReplyDeleteCrow had never heard of Ivan Pavlov, Pavlov's dogs or Pavlovian Theory. Would have made little difference. When it came to his hounds, Algernon and Dante, lantern-jawed Crow was no believer in conditional responses unless same resulted in absolute obedience.
Though not exactly cruel, strict training methods served to ostracise Crow from his sister, Cobbles, who adored the pups and made their existence less austere by sneaking extra kibble into their bowls. It was a risky practice. She had already been warned. If Crow found out again, there would be hell to pay.
And Crow knew all about hellish payments.
--------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: Cobbles and Crow, together with Crow's hounds, Algernon and Dante, have all featured in previous episodes.
Such a chilling final line. I hope Cobbles doesn't get caught again! Loved the names of the hounds, as well as 'lantern-jawed.'
DeleteLantern-jaw, is a good prompt use. I do have some sympathy for Crow. I'm sure he knows that Cobble is doing that just that he hasn't been told. A very good episode, Patricia.
Delete'lantern-jawed' brilliant and I didn't know Pavlov was an Ivan. This one of my favourite Kursaal episodes I think.
DeleteDeviating from a dog's routine can be testy with the owner, but I'm with Cobbles on this one. Enjoyable, as ever, Patricia.
Deleteclever writing bringing Crow and Cobbles into our areas of interest again. Sneaky way of keeping in the dogs' good books!
DeleteThe War of the Great Sea
ReplyDeleteHomer’s stolen war, of a promise never kept.
Helen, taken to the Parisii home,
While Akhilleus battled Paris.
Lupine jaws against grotesque claws.
We broke the Pillars, created the inner sea,
To drown your enemy.
The bells of gay Parrie
Rang for victory.
Ostracized for our looks
Gargiuem you called us.
Pavlovian stonemasons
Didn’t create, Rouen’s Bishop did.
Using bloods magic cross.
Guarding your sins for all time.
Hear our curse!
When internal sea is again a land of green
Your enemy will return.
Help you’ll need, vows you’ll make,
Agree we will.
We’re owed a home, not a prison.
Everyone deserves a home and not to be ostracized for their looks.
DeleteLoved the line 'Lupine jaws against grotesque claws' and the promise of 'Help you’ll need, vows you’ll make.'
DeleteAgain, you have ventured into territory that I'm not overly familiar with. It would seem to touch on Troy and other mythological scenarios. Your choice of words definitely sets the poetic mood.
DeleteAs I've mentioned before, Jeffrey, you have a way with poetry. Such vivid images in this!
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 233 - Stockholm Syndrome At The Station
ReplyDeleteLacking company in his carriage, Clive Bailey had always been accustomed to loneliness. Chosen last in schoolyard picks and seated solitary at the front of the classroom, Clive was ostracized and accused of being a swot and bootlicker. He yearned to be accepted and avoid trouble. Never happened.
Often, his mere presence initiated Pavlovian responses from the other boys, who virtually salivated at thoughts of a punch to his jaw or solar plexus.
Clive was now reluctant to leave what had become the comfort of Cripplegate and the Station Master, a confidante rather than nemesis.
Better the devil you know...
--------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
----------------------------------------------------------
How I identified with Clive. When a writer is able to enable a reader to do that, they've written a fantastic story.
DeleteA neat little glimpse at poor Clive's existence. Though it makes me cringe, I liked the Pavlovian response the bully boys got when Clive was around.
Deleteoh my, this captures the loneliness of a child's life so perfectly it's almost real heartbreak.
DeleteClever (and sad) use of a Pavlovian response. Loved Clive referring to Cripplegate and the Station Master as 'a confidante rather than nemesis.'
DeleteOh dear ... poor Clive. Can't Marmalade visit him? Or is he truly undeserving of sympathy? (I'm currently struggling to show that Theo, in 'Snap' my current wip, is far more ignorant than he thinks is, of the nature of the folk he's got himself embroiled with, and am impressed with your ability to now make me uncertain.)
ReplyDeleteSnap: Theo realises pleasure rarely comes unadulterated
ReplyDeleteWas it only twice he’d walked up King’s Stables Road, de-odourised, jaw innocent of stubble as a baby’s bum; near- teenage in his anticipation? Not that Lucy offered any less than she’d ever done, but where access had been a simple one of cash exchanged for pleasure, it now had to be negotiated via a sharp-suited Pavlovian impersonator whose demands, while undoubtedly earning him financial reward, simultaneously removed autonomy and incurred greater risk. Not least of which was discovery. Which would result in his being ostracised by family and community. And fatally damaging the new-found love between himself and Jo.
So many things happen (I've heard) when one exchanges cash for sexual pleasure. Discovery now, is likely inevitable, whatever it turns out to be.
Deletemethinks some people should be grateful for the love he's found and not go paying for greater thrills (illicit ones are always more exciting) but he isn't and so... awaiting the outcome of this visit with great interest.
DeleteMe too, Antonia, this being the crux of the novel, finally arrived at, sixty thousand words in. (Now all I have to do is work out how to end it.)
DeleteMe thinks he might be overreaching with his sexual yearnings. I hope he can rein himself in.
DeleteLovely phrase 'jaw innocent of stubble.' Yes, you'd think he'd reconsider his actions if he loves Jo.
DeleteNew found love can be so fragile and vulnerable. Easily broken. Eager to see how this pans out.
DeleteThis, to me comes across as a reverse Cyrano theme. The prostitute now using a wordsmith to make her more desirable and expensive. Love has no price, does lust?
DeleteStop The Week; I Want To Get Off (99)
ReplyDeleteAnother endless week, jaw-breaking yawns and cat naps, no structure to life… is the date to open this a Pavlovian trick on the part of the government, we rush to open and then they close us down again… Having the virus means being ostracised so we’re working hard to overcome that… screens, cleaning and one walkway round the shop. We’re itching for The Day to come when we can legitimately start work. We’ve much to investigate, much to do, including installing a new water heater for hand washing, hot water no less when it’s been cold water all these years!
I find many of my catnaps have become something more leonine, even though very little has changed in my routine. Perhaps it the 4.30 risings.
DeleteA good example of the new ways, Antonia. I'm certainly going to miss the old ways and I hope they come back soon.
DeleteI can't imagine how strange and hard it is now to open a shop with everything going on. Perhaps the hot water will be lovely. :)
DeleteOne step forward and two steps back seems to be the order of the day lately. Seems many people have "had it" with waiting and now throwing caution to the wind. I fear we're going to suffer one hell of a relapse if we're not careful. Still, how lovely will it be to have hot water after "all these years"?
DeleteIt will be a new normal that we settle into. The nickname for people who live in Oklahoma is Sooner. That dates to when the territory was opened to settlement, many people crossed the line to soon or sooner than they should've. As long as we are aware of the precautions to take, we'll be fine. Thank you for sharing this slice of your life, Antonia.
DeleteThe Joys of Mediumship no 6
ReplyDeleteThe visitor this week has yet to have his words written down, somehow it’s not been right, lockdown tensions don’t help, but Paul, he of the Damascus conversion which brought instant ostracising, has been talking and we will be writing soon. It is almost a Pavlovian response from me, someone speaks, I write… his comment on this week’s prompt words was ‘less jaw – more work’ and so it will be. He will be the first in the book Christ’s Warriors. This is not solely apostles, disciples and all, but including martyrs, Thomas Becket and others. It will be good.
The Pavlov prompt this week has been interesting with lots of clever entries, yours right up there. Looking forward to more of these.
DeleteSounds fascinating. Do you think Judas Iscariot might ever want to tell his side of the story? That would be something I'd be so eager to hear.
DeleteI have several full length bo9oks out there, Patricia, Jude is one of them. He arrived, asked if I would write his story, said it wouldn't take long... as it happened, spirit being ever vigilant, I had just been contacted by someone who is a biblical scholar. I also have a very good friend who is a biblical scholar. So, Jude and I began work. A chapter a night, sometimes 2-3 at a weekend, we wrote the book in six weeks. The individual chapters were sent to the two scholars who vetted them for any inaccuracies. There were none. The book was completed on the 30th December... and shows a completely different story. After my book came out, CNN Canada broadcast a documentary on the same topic - that Jude was there to ensure the prophesy was carried out. It caused three years of intense argument, upset, sorrow and finally acceptance. Jude is one hell of a powerful spirit. He took on the task knowing that his name would forever be vilified. Only now are people coming round to seeing the true story.
DeleteThere are books out by Guy Fawkes (heartbreak) Charles I, (revealing) Antony Woodville (fascinating insights) Jacquetta Woodville (a medieval matriarch) Henry VIII as only my liege lord can write it, the book written from the viewpoint of the queens (as only they could tell it) George duke of Clarence, busting a few myths and a deeply loving caring man who is often around me now. And Daniel, my beloved concentration camp POW - only read if you have a very strong will not to become deeply involved in his troubled tortured life.
The only reason I now write 'message' books is too many people want to come and I won't live long enough to write all their books! Wllliam Rufus summed it up, 'they only want to read about my death, they're not interested in my life' and so we did a chapter on his death. It works... I get through more people, as it were. There are so many I would dearly love to write at length, the Windsors for one. (how many cigarettes did he get through each day???) I am writing the Kingmaker's story, the great earl of Warwick, one powerful spirit indeed. We will get there, when life, finances, worries, migraines and interruptions let me get on with the work!!
Saul, Daniel and Thomas a Becket already sounds like a very interesting book. In some ways and I hope this isn't taken wrong but that scene in Ghost with Whoopi when all the spirits were lined up, makes a lot of sense.
DeleteThe Mad Italian (158)
ReplyDeleteIf ever prompt words were right for me… Pavlov’s dogs are loose in government, set jaws, gritted teeth, determination written all over would-be Ministers determined to ostracise any who do not fit the rigid pattern of ‘being an MP’ but there is one who should be cast out, unelected, unwilling to conform, unwilling to do anything but be himself. It will not last long. Meantime those ‘in charge’ throw titbits to the waiting populace to allow them the chance to earn money once again. They should not act as if money doesn’t matter. The country cannot go bankrupt.
A difficult line to draw between safety and economy. I understand both views and would be really bad at making the right decisions. But for today, I have to decide when to change out of my pajamas.
DeleteSo many decisions made lately and most of them appear to be taken on behalf of the population without much consultation. I often feel there's much going on behind the scenes that we know nothing about.
DeleteThere are land sharks who enter politics because the smell the chum in the water. Those give politics a bad name, however, not by themselves. MP's defining what an MP makes sense, on a low level, yet shouldn't the defenition of MP or any job or profession also inclued what the customer feels it should be?
DeleteTHE SHADOW SERIES: REFLECTIONS IN DARKNESS
ReplyDeleteI somehow recall that a student of Pavlov sat by his deathbed and recorded details of his dying.
I’ll die alone, if a shadow can die. Or perhaps I’ll just permanently remain imprisoned within this ebony existence I discovered in this abandoned tunnel deep in the woods.
Here, totally ostracized from everything earthly, there are no sights, no sounds… nothing but the tranquilizing comfort of silent blackness. Here, thankfully, there is no need to jaw with myself about my past.
Still, I do feel something about my crimes. Regret or a dark sense of satisfaction?
Hell, it no longer matters.
I'm wondering what change of heart more pondering might bring.
DeleteI agree with Sandra. The Shadow seems to be softening a bit. Or recharging.
DeleteMelancholia seems to be reigning here but I'm sure The Shadow is simply experiencing a momentary lapse of reason.
Deletetempted to go with recharging, the Shadow's too strong a character to allow melancholia to take over...moody evocative setting for this piece, too.
DeleteDoes Red Jack live? Thi has been a marvelously crafted series. Thank you for presenting it and hopefully I've learned from it.
DeleteI felt the darkness strongly with your description of 'totally ostracized from everything earthly, there are no sights, no sounds.'
DeleteWrecked
ReplyDeleteThe young couple were arguing about which had been the ballet dancer...Pavlov or Pavlova...when the windshield shattered. The car careened off the motor way and ploughed into a concrete pillar. The resulting pile-up heralded the arrival of a fleet of emergency vehicles including fire trucks, ambulances and the jaws of life.
Observing the devastation from the high overpass, a boy, ostracised and bullied by his peers, tossed the remaining rocks into his satchel and went home for tea.
I fear for this lad's future ... ad the safety of his parents.
DeleteThe little SOB went home for tea. An example of the affects of bullying.
Deletechilling... and very real, many of these terrifying incidents still go on.
DeleteThe jaws of life, what a way to use a prompt. I guess all future criminals have to start someplace. A grizzly and well written story, Patricia.
DeleteI'm ever wary of overpasses. A chilling beginning.
DeleteBrilliant use of the prompts, Patricia. I sense this was not the boy's first sinister adventure with rocks.
ReplyDelete