And, having only a phone to squint at, a slept-in-and-late-for-breakfast morning and a day of workshops ahead of me I managed to delete rather than re-set the mistimed scheduled post.
Deadline for mill, derelict and inefficient is Thursday 27th.
(I noted what you say about late posting/fewer comments Patricia but doubt there's a lot I can do except trust most folk will have a final look. For myself I am as likely to be late as early.)
For next weeks prompt words, we're using derelict, inefficient and mill, right?
ReplyDeleteMy verdict for this week's stories goes to Jeffrey for The Janus Door. I enjoyed the name Vibius Tedious. Very Roman.
ReplyDeleteThis is my choice too.
DeleteOnce again, apologies. and yes use whichever set or words most appeal.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm confused (a state in which I seem to reside most of the time), do I understand correctly that we can use the prompt words from either this week OR last week OR a combination? I'm pretty sure I have it wrong but wanted to be sure.
ReplyDeleteAs for last week's winner, my vote goes to Jim's First Things First.
ReplyDeleteJim's story has my vote too.
DeletePatricia, it's entirely up to you. Do whichever pleases/inspires. I' ll aim to do better next time, because I am helpless here, at the mercy of the of lack of internet.
ReplyDeleteMy ballot is for Jim's First Things First.
ReplyDeleteI assume the deadline is February 29th?
ReplyDeleteAnd please don't berate yourself for a perceived (and unfounded) mistake, Sandra. You do an absolutely magnificent job of running this place. We simply couldn't survive without you.
Derelict, inefficient, mill
ReplyDeleteThe Janus Door II
The smell of sulfur and ozone along with smoke had been seeping into the temple for half an hour, mingling with the coughs, pleading wails for salvation and tear-filled words of comfort, all woefully inefficient. Vibius was milling around, thinking, have the gods been derelict, or we?
Blue and white flames appeared on the temples bronze walls and double doors. They danced to the buzzing and hissing sounds, making all feel, they’d entered the realm of Hades. A bolt of lightning struck the double doors, blowing them open and knocking Vibius and any next to the doors, to the floor.
Yes, I imagine there would be considerable 'pleading for salvation' going on during this ordeal. Good continuation for this top-shelf entry. I'm routing for Vibius...
DeleteI initially read this as "pleading walls for salvation," which also works surprisingly well. I agree with John in the choice of name here. Very apt. Nicely done, Jeffrey, and congratulations on your garnering of votes for top story.
DeleteA powerful piece, most enjoyable
DeleteThanks to all of you for your kind words and yes, having the vote feedback of my peers is flattering and humbling. If the votes stand as they are, it would be my first weekly win here since joining.
DeleteThe Secret Armadillo Soldier (SAS) Diaries - entry 82
ReplyDeleteDog-rose thorns were offered from within the milling ranks.
Cinereus used them to pin the paw wounds closed. ‘Bit inefficient, but will do.’ he muttered. ‘Are those roots an’ leaves chewed? Right, line up and spit when I tell you.’
He removed an elaborately marked packet from the derelict looking pouch at his neck and broke it open. Lifting one of the mossy-pads he sprinkled fine powder onto the wound. ‘Spit,’ he instructed the nearest ‘Dillo.
He replaced the moss, and repeated the process for all the other injuries. ‘That’s all we can do. Rest is now key to healing.’
First aid is first aid. I never knew about a Dog-Rose so thanks for informing me.
DeleteI scanned the board before I started commenting and saw three dillo stories waiting. I'm salivating with anticipation and I didn't even chew any roots or leaves.
DeleteRest is key to healing indeed, as is reading these. Thank you Terrie
DeleteSo visual which works exceedingly well when it comes to our favourite 'dillos. What an enchanting serialization this is. I hadn't fully realized how much it was missed until it returned.
Delete
ReplyDeleteThe Secret Armadillo Soldier (SAS) Diaries - entry 83
As he ran, Atlas searched for shelter. Although the deluge had ended the terrible drought, the ferocity of the storm bent bushes, broke away branches and tore up dead shrubbery.
Avoiding wind-whipped undergrowth, he headed for the derelict library-burrow where he’d met Armi.
He located it, half-hidden by elaborate, intertwining roots milling at the opening. He sniffed warily then disappeared inside.
Inefficient design meant water pooled in puddles at the burrow entrance and overflowed into key upper rooms. Atlas settled in the driest chamber, only dampened with a dribble of water filtering away behind some discarded moss-covered tomes.
I never remember in the past that the dilo's had books, so i'm rather intrigued about those moss-covered tomes. Good use of narration.
DeleteAtlas'run for cover is likely going to be a muddy mess. I like how he takes on each challenge so methodically, without complaint. A tough little dillo to be sure.
DeleteDillo in wonderfully-described action, efficient and determined indeed.
DeleteAnd so you continue to provide us with treats for the second week in a row, Terrie. It's a true talent how you're able to keep these characters secure in their own stories and yet still interconnected.
DeleteThe Secret Armadillo Soldier (SAS) Diaries - entry 84
ReplyDeleteViewing her with surprise and respect, Armi recognised a key asset when he saw one. He also knew his brother's fondness for secret and elaborate planning and guessed he’d not been derelict or inefficient concerning enquiries about Brenda’s past.
Keeping his suspicions unvoiced he merely nodded and poked at the wound on his belly.
‘Careful Mr. Armi don’t want it broke open ag’in.’ She cautioned.
‘Itchin', summat fierce, Brenda.’
Mendin’ al’uz duz Mr Armi, I got summat t’ help tho.’ She proceeded to mill some dried leaves between her large paws before sprinkling them over the wound.
It's enjoyable how you keep a humanish bedside manner and with an accent.
DeleteThough I'm sure Armi would rather be out in the fight, but I think he's enjoying his time with Brenda. I enjoyed all three scenes very much, Terrie.
DeleteI DO like 'key asset'.
DeleteGlad to see Brenda featured again. I do believe she's my favourite.
DeleteThree excellent instalments, with some very interesting ideas
Deletedefinitely some interesting ideas but for me it is the fact you never deviate from the dillo world and accent! Great storytelling.
DeleteThe Broken Man
ReplyDeleteLove has put me through the mill,
leaving me derelict and inefficient.
A tiny shadow of a man to fill a space left by something that was magnificent.
I accepted the blame for my loss,
and stored it deep within.
Self Loathing nurtured and multiplied, overflowed and seeped through my skin.
Unintentionally bathed in sorrow,
I displayed a persona wrecked by my guilt.
Nothing again would ever be hurt by me, because of the moat I'd built.
From carving out my inner self,
I disposed of any truth.
Choosing to Punish my remaining years for the naivety of my youth.
This just keeps building on the concept of a broken man. Something miraculous would have to occur to get this guy out of his funk. Very enjoyable.
DeleteDon’t worry John something did happen, I couldn’t turn that corner in 100 words.
DeleteAlways so delightful to see a poem submitted for our enjoyment here. We don't get anywhere near enough of such brilliant compositions.
Deletedeep thoughts in this, nice one, William.
DeleteA hint of Simon and Garfunkel in this marvelous and heartfelt poem. An excellent contribution for the week.
ReplyDeleteThe Reluctant Hussy
ReplyDeleteMisty milled about in the hall of her derelict apartment building. She was too ashamed to let the head hooker inside.
“We have a problem here, Misty.”
“I’m sorry, Patricia. I’ll do better.”
“Your methods are unorthodox, not to mention inefficient. And how many times have I told you, my hussy-name is Candy.”
“Yes, Candy, I’ll get out there right now and do it right.”
“That’s my girl.”
On the street, wearing cleverly ripped jeans and a sheer pink camisole, Misty said to the first man who approached her, “Screw you!”
The head hooker sighed heavily and dialed her phone.
What an ideal name for a "head hooker." It does, after all, mean "noble" and what a noble profession this Patricia does represent...!!!
Deleteoh that's good! A int of humour in a black storyline!
DeleteThe Reluctant Hussy
ReplyDeleteMisty, her red patent leather mini-skirt riding high, sat on a wooden stool in Mr. Boxby’s derelict office over the rendering mill.
The pimp cracked his knuckles inefficiently. “I hear you’ve been shirking on me.”
“Only when I feel uncomfortable in the situation.”
“Which is approximately how often?” Boxby said, staring at her left thigh.
“Well, so far, always.”
He unzipped his corduroys. “Time for a little lesson.”
The detective said to the Captain, “We have a lead. Pathology found a black shoe, stiletto heel with a broken strap, size 4 ½, lodged completely up Boxby’s ass.”
Ooh!! Brilliant, kickass ending!
Delete(sorry - couldn't resist)
I'll comment on both chapters here. The flow between the chapters has been excellent and these two are no exception. Seems like Misty has the tools to do the job and a willingness, yet then we see what might have been the object of her desire. Yes, I fully agree with Sandra about the ending.
DeleteThis Misty, as you so keenly present her, is not a lady to be messed with, John. One wonders where she is off to next? A nice mix of dialog and prose.
DeleteMissy certainly is proving to be a bad ass, that's for sure. Interesting name, "Boxby." I don't know why but it seems so appropriate.
Deletetwo storylines melding into one dark piece. Great fun.
DeleteOh my, they say you can never keep a good girl down.
DeleteThe Council of Canossa
ReplyDeleteMill, derelict, inefficient.
AVINGON FRANCE APRIL 14, 1351
He woke with a shout yelling “Daniel servo mihi.” The guards entered saying. “Your Holiness, are you okay?”
“Yes, just a dream. Please have Cardinal Albornoz and Father Mateo Vincenzo come to my quarters and when they get here, let nobody in.”
It took a while to wake Cardinal Albornoz, the papal legate but his Holiness's personal confessor, Father Vincenzo, was efficient and never derelict of his duties.
“Why do you wake me,” the Cardinal asked.
“His Holiness requires Your Eminence and Father Vincenzo attend him.”
“Your Eminence, no need to mill about, I doubt formality is required,” Vincenzo said.
A teaser of what's to come, I suspect. I think we need more of a hint, though I'm sure you won't keep us hanging too long.
DeleteThese historical pieces of yours always translate with such authenticity. And, of course, your forte continues to be dialogue.
DeleteEchoing Patricia, your use of dialogue is always outstanding, Jeffrey.
DeleteI wonder who Daniel is and why he needs to keep the pope, intrigued for more
DeleteKursaal (Episode One Hundred Ninety Five) - "The Wonder Wheel"
ReplyDeleteThe Wonder Wheel had failed as a successful attraction. The method employed to divert necessary water had proven inefficient, inadequate and extremely costly. The windmill-like building now stood a derelict structure.
The amusement itself was also somewhat lacking in terms of safety. The elaborate mechanism had an unfortunate quirk of breaking down while rotating blades were still submerged and attached cars often surfaced sans passengers.
Then surprisingly one morning, the ride was found independently operational with visitors, single file and apparently captivated, beginning to board via the Wonder Wheel's keyhole-shaped aperture.
It was a most unexpected occurrence.
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To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: The Wonder Wheel is a new Kursaal addition and has not been mentioned in previous episodes.
The Wonder Wheel seems to be making a comeback. Funny how captivation often overrules common sense. Only at the Kursaal. Very entertaining Patricia. I'm hoping this glowing review makes up for the rather questionable character I named in one of my stories. If you recall, I mentioned using you as a character after you said something about me being difficult to offend in one of your comments. On a positive note, I'm almost positive you're not affiliated with the profession of the Patricia character.
DeleteRest assured, I am not making the mistake of holding my breath in the hope of you explaining the phenomenon any time soon ... 195 episodes and something new - astonishing.
DeleteThe mystery for me is that keys fit into key holes, so just what are the people actually doing. A marvelous episode, Patricia.
Deletefrom falling down to functioning, without 'human' intervention, (or so it would seem) creates its own mystery. Nice one!
DeleteSounds like the wonder wheel is becoming its own oasis of content. Look forward to more
DeleteNo best actress Oscar! [Threshold 289]
ReplyDeleteSo solid my near-unconsciousness that when my brain reconstituted itself from fine-milled flour to its usual flaky-pastry state I feared I had been drugged. I was certain, however, thanks to my resemblance to an unwashed derelict, no attempt had been made upon my virtue: if this man was a molester he was an inefficient one (Or liked things clean.)
To which end, I asked, ‘Water?’
He thought I wanted another drink.
I had to push his hand away, before he forced the bottle into my mouth.
‘To wash!’
But my miming of washing my body gave him the wrong idea.
This is just one brilliant line after the next, which makes the piece, as a whole, well, brilliant. Just what kind of miming was she doing?...
DeleteWell, Sandra, one must think before one acts. However, this fiendish devil obviously needs no invitation.
DeleteLoved the comparison of "fine-milled flour" to "flaky-pastry." I wonder if the male in question will try to act upon the mime presented to him. Frankly, I wouldn't fancy his chances if he does.
Deletethe problem of sign language if the other person doesn't understand the signs... nice little snapshot, Sandra
DeleteWeekday Special
ReplyDeleteThe inefficiency of the rendering mill aroused what little intellect the moonlighting Brody was capable of mustering. The derelict grinding machinery left sizeable chunks of sinewy meat, bone fragments and fur lodged on the filtering sieves which were regularly scraped with steel trowels.
Instead of throwing the chunks back into the mix, Brody furtively collected them for his own use. At his diner, business couldn’t be better. Flocking customers thought the Roadkill Stew, written in chalk on the menu board was a clever novelty advertising technique.
People were mostly unaffected until a couple of rabid coyotes ended up in the mix.
This provokes, as you no doubt intended, a somewhat queasy, throat-gagging reaction. Glad I am I only had cheese for lunch.
DeleteThis is SO diabolically delicious, John!
DeleteWhen you lower your cost of doing business you make money but you still need quality standards. An excellent story.
DeleteThe two keywords here, already mentioned by Jim, are "diabolical" and "delicious." I can offer none better and so, will not try.
Deleteoh ugh!
DeleteI’m was heading out today for a birthday lunch date at a pop restaurant, I think I might opt for vegan surprise, or perhaps not.
DeleteLoved the graphic tones in this one
DeleteAND THE VERDICT IS…
ReplyDeleteThe trial, if it can be called such, had no jury, no witnesses, no spectators milling about a courthouse.
There is just I, an impartial arbiter, alone in this room, charged with rendering a verdict of death or exoneration.
Each side, at times quite contentiously, argued its case. The prosecutor, if I can be called such, vividly described the ghastly murders committed by the defendant. Defense council, if I can be called such, vigorously argued that the defendant’s savagely derelict practices resulted from a fiendishly inefficient childhood.
Following due deliberation, I thrust the barrel of the gun beneath my chin.
Jim, that penultimate sentence, and its 'savagely derelict practices' very much a joyous example of your writing.
DeleteJudge, jury and executioner. When you're guilty, you're guilty. Very clever, Jim.
DeleteWhen you argue with yourself and lose, Beautiful narration and a chilling ending. Well done!
DeleteNow that ending, I did not expect. I adore tales that lead me up the wrong garden path and then crown me at the end with a vicious shovel. This was excellence in 100 words or less.
DeleteNice comment, Patricia. Jim brought out the best in you.
Deletethis is absolutely brilliant, couldn't see where it was going until it got there!
DeleteThis is a clever piece of writing, depicting the internal self talk that goes on inside our conscience, but observed from a dispassionate third voice. This captures that rolling turmoil so well.
DeleteChange of focus [365]
ReplyDeletePettinger instructed the milling SOCOs – their white-suited movements far from as inefficiently choreographed as appeared – ‘When you’re done here, safeguard the site, come back in the morning.’
He asked DC Henry Moth to drive while he checked up on Aleks. ‘No reply.’
Moth, whose once cherubic face, thanks to a year of daily witnessing of man’s depravity to man, had become that of unshriven derelict, attempted to inject optimism into Pettinger’s gloom. ‘He’ll be fine, boss. Doing his homework –‘
‘Aye. I’ll try again later. More important to get this dead lad’s killers identified.’
But later was five hours away.
I anticipate trouble may be brewing with Aleks. I liked the part of the team traipsing about with their movements more organized than what they appear.
DeleteI might fear for Aleks under normal circumstances, but this kid has Pettingers's blood running through his veins and that alone offers protection that might otherwise be wanting. As always, a magnificent episode that moves the tale continually onward.
Deletetight writing ends up giving us several images which take the story onward in leaps and bounds. As usual!!
DeleteSnap: Theo examines his latest purchase
ReplyDeleteNot that he’d admit to inefficiency, but Theo Duncan was well aware he’d purchased the woodland in a hurry. Paid insufficient attention to its make-up and done no more than drive around it’s perimeter – some of it some distance from the road – and examine high summer Google earth imagery, when all that was visible was a broccoli mass of green.
The subsequent discovery of a derelict and dangerously insubstantial water-mill was a surprise. Initially unwelcome, but a tentative examination, looking up through beams to a crow-crossed sky, suggested possibilities of not only storage, but potential for construction of a trap
The broccoli mass of green sums up Google Earth trees perfectly - probably the aptest description possible. I'm intrigued by this trap Theo is thinking of.
DeleteOooohhhh, I like it. The suggestion of mystery and intrigue is to be envied.
DeleteI love the image of a 'crow-crossed sky,' Sandra. Theo's devious minds just keeps on planning mayhem.
Deleteoh yes, the crow-crossed sky, what a stunning description!
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 222 - Violet And The Case Of The Missing Key
ReplyDeleteViolet couldn't find the key to the Crossing Canteen. She'd used it to lock the door and now it was missing. The Station Master would berate her for being even more inefficient than usual. He constantly elaborated on her incompetence and run-of-the-mill work performance.
She feared being left a derelict if the train departed without her but had assured delivery of the key to the Station Master before boarding and did not want to add promise-breaker to her list of failures.
Violet wondered if perhaps the key had fallen into the puddling tea leaves of the overturned urn.
--------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
----------------------------------------------------------
Oh, poor Violet, she sounds all of a dither ... hope she finds the key soon.
DeleteThe overturned urn - ever the sticky loose end. I think I might consider Marmalade as the key stealing culprit. Wonderful story, Patricia.
DeleteAnother very good story and with narration. I agree with John put out a BOLO for Marmalade.
DeleteI fear that Violet may be spending too much time on the pity pot. I hope she can pull herself together.
Deletepoor Violet! keys are tricky things that manage to lose themselves more often than not, (says she from experience of people who can't hold on to them...) so I have to hope that a gremlin will reverse his normal nature and help her find it...
DeleteDerelict, inefficient, mill
ReplyDeleteThe Road of Perdition
“Salamera, I’m honored to have your presence grace my caravan.”
“Jakhol, no amount of efficient flattery will change that. What does the rumor-mill say about the Elven-Gnome war? I know your path comes close to their conflict.”
“There was a truce, it lasted about two ten-days. Your King, Danarlian seems to have the upper hand but there’s a new Gnome war leader.”
“The Khumbark trail could avoid the danger of war.”
“It’s been derelict for thirty years, guarded by the dead and worse.”
“Have you ever seen a zombie?”
“Nope same with dragons, I’ll keep it that way.”
"Rumor-mill," now there's an inspired use of the prompt words. The comparison of zombies to dragons in terms of being apparent is an interesting one.
DeleteGnomes and Elves and Zombies and Dragons, oh my. Sounds like trouble brewing. But then, where would we be on this writing site without trouble? Good one, Jeffrey.
DeleteStop The Week; I Want To Get Off (86)
ReplyDeleteThe shop was beginning to look derelict through lack of stock when Shaun came in with the garage clearance items, which I’m still coping with. I’m tired, so am somewhat inefficient, or just a little less with it… excuses, excuses! Lots of tools, boxes and tins of screws, nails and all manner of strange things, two lawnmowers, steps…why do you need hand rails both sides when there are only three steps?? Half term is over, no children milling around displacing everything… and a few sales, so few it is almost not worth mentioning. Roll on Spring!
At least February is nearly done with
DeleteCertainly not the most inspired selection of items to replenish your stock, Antonia, but one never knows what will sell.
DeleteThis sounds like the inventory in my garage. But someday, when I need just the right screw... I will buy a new one as I won't be able to find it. Here's to brighter, more profitable days...
DeleteThings will soon be brighter, Antonia. Hang in there!
DeleteThe Mad Italian (145)
ReplyDeleteThe paranoia that comes with a virus being spread by milling crowds is affecting everything, schools and businesses resembling derelict properties in their emptiness. The inefficient persons who allowed this to escape will no doubt receive their reward by succumbing to the illness, but not everyone who gets it dies. This is just as well, or your PM would be barricaded in Downing Street with no one to cause him problems. It should be left to make its way through the population as every other pandemics have in the past, a way of regulating the amount of people on this planet.
Whenever something like this surfaces, I cannot help but think of Captain Tripps. The human race has survived before and will doubtless do so this time around as well...as I'm sure Leonardo can attest.
DeleteHopefully, it won't reach Captain Trips proportions. The Italian is slightly radical today. Gotta love him.
DeleteThere’s something biblical abroad at the moment, a storm every weekend, and now corridor 19.
Deletewill try and get back with comments, if I can!
ReplyDelete