For a rag-bag of reasons, none of
which in themselves were that involving but which, as a whole, seemed to have
filled my time, I arrive at the first Friday of 2020 totally unprepared for
judging the relative merits of the past couple of week’s entries as well as having
failed to post a couple of more rule-abiding pieces, as intended. So, my
apologies for such lack of discipline, but I’m declaring everyone a winner and
promise to do better in future, to which end I’ve selected suitable reminders:
Words
for next week: discipline grit vow
Entries
by midnight (GMT) Thursday 9th January,
words and winners posted Friday 10th
Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding
title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the
genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as always,
welcome. All variants and uses of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to
post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media you
prefer.
.
Siblings
ReplyDelete“The nitty gritty?” said the terrorist.
“Yes, it’s an American saying,” said his brother. “You need to become more disciplined. You need to fit in.”
“What does it mean?”
“I don’t know, but it has a nice ring to it.”
“I vow I’m going to strap the next explosive device to your chest.”
“Lucky for me, you need me to drive.”
“Yes, lucky me.”
“I have the schematics for Caesar’s Palace,” said his brother. “Garth Brooks is about to become infamous.”
“Very good.”
His brother tapped the drawings gently. “This one will be a piece of cake.”
“Piece of cake?”
Cultural understanding or misunderstanding, you do so well in this story. A very good start to this week's stories.
DeleteAs always, John, you crafted a very entertaining tale. The dumb guy is lucky to have an "Americanized" terrorist for a brother, as he wouldn't get far on his own. I will not be attending that Garth Brooks' concert. Very nicely done!
DeleteNeat indeed.
DeleteThis was so amusing. Loved the way the two brothers were having some idiom communication problems. I too would steer away from the Garth Brooks concert and not necessarily purely on the fact there might be an incident. Country & Western NOT my cup o' tea.
Deletethanks, Sandra!
Deletelovely two way conversation, showing just how different in languages we are!
Everyone a winner to begin the New Year. What a great decision, Sandra, starting us all off on a very positive note. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteA GRAVESITE VISIT
ReplyDeleteThe headstone was black granite and upright - simple yet lovely. Across the top read: Mary Ellen Steele. Beneath that: May 6, 1992 – October 29, 2019. And beneath that: Beloved Wife . Beloved Daughter.
I had vowed never to visit a gravesite; my discipline collapsed this time. I gritted my teeth, “Never again.”
I felt a presence to my left and turned upon an elderly couple all but buried beneath heavy overcoats. The man gave me an odd look. “Our daughter,” he said. “You knew her?”
My smile was smug as I contemplated telling them I was their daughter’s killer.
Great one, Jim. So perfectly set up. He should stick to his guns, though, and quit visiting the grave sites. My only qualm is the use of the word elderly. My kids are beyond the age of 27 and I'm no where near elderly, according to me anyway.
DeleteSuch clean precision here Jim, with a kick like a silenced gun.
DeleteBut I too query 'elderly' (and my kids are all in their 40s)
This comes across as being so easy to picture in real life. I'm know murderers often like to be in the vicinity of the investigations or interments of their victims. In fact, I believe the police will "stake out" funerals in anticipation of the killer's attendance. The "smug smile" seemed to say it all here and was the perfect conclusion to a magnificent tale. Oh...adding my qualms to use of "elderly" too, by the way...but you're forgiven due to the quality of the storytelling.
Deleteit depends... at times I hear people walking on my roof, too long to explain but it happens. The police advice is to call them, even though they would need a three tier ladder to get up there, by which time the trespasser will have gone... so I will, and I will freely use the word 'elderly', put a quiver in the voice, oh I am so afraid, officer... so yes, at times elderly is right! and this is a lovely vignette!
DeleteJim, what a macabre story and a great last line. The rest of the story is pretty darn good as well.
ReplyDeleteBobby Thumbed a Diesel Down
ReplyDeleteThe alien infection had crystallised vast swathes of land. Fragmented shards glinting hushed malevolence. Frozen cities viewed through emerald prisms. Highways like mosaics of shattered mirrors.
Nonetheless we kept our vow to hitch hike across the remains of the USA. Bobby read aloud. Endless extracts from ‘True Grit’ by Charles Portis. Her favourite novel.
She’d mock me for my obsessive organising. “You Brits are disciplined to a fault.”
Dust devils danced on the wind. The sky was punched with bruised red clouds. It seemed the world was spinning ponderously to the end. I hummed softly. Bobby sang the blues.
David, what a lovely, image filled story and inventive use of the prompts.
DeleteThe title really drew me in. One of the greatest song lyrics of all time. Thank you Kris Kristofferson. And the story wasn't too shabby either. Imagine a crystallized infection so vast and deadly. Makes me tremor.
DeleteLuscious. Truly. Good enough for me.
DeleteThis is a poetically visual masterpiece. I adored the "Me and Bobby McGee" reference. How I adore the contributions to music of the magnificent Janis. You have captured the mood to perfection.
Deleteoh yes and a bit more oh yes. A delight.
DeleteThe imagery here is outstanding, David. You make the destruction so easy to see. 'The sky was punched with bruised red clouds' is a splendid example. Very nicely done!
ReplyDeleteBump in the Night #2
ReplyDelete“I’m waiting.” Her disciplined voice felt like a demand.
“She’s my wife of three years now.” I sat in the chair.
“What! Didn’t our marriage vows mean anything to you?”
“While you were alive, they meant a lot.”
The globe flashed and went dark. The curtains fluttered and Jim felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see April, in her leather, lace, and whip outfit. Her red air accented the grit showing in her hazel eyes.
“The world has changed, my love,” she said.
“The Colorado Ghost Trial but that only applied to physical property.”
“You’re point being?”
Well done. Jeffrey. I liked the line, 'While you were alive, they meant a lot.' The perfect example of show, don't tell. I'm not sure if I'd be more afraid of the ex wife ghost or April.
DeleteJOhn, my thanks for the compliment but it must be my writing is on the poor side, more often than not. April is the ex-wife ghost. My apologies for the confusion.
DeleteThis is rife with great, vivid examples of well- crafted dialog, Jeffrey, separated by that marvelous paragraph that introduced April.
DeleteThere always appears to be the element of researched fact within your contributions, Jeffrey. There is no doubt you strive for factual references.
DeleteChange of focus [358]
ReplyDeleteBut that – Jake Cherriman – was in the past. Pettinger had to grit his teeth, accept how badly he’d then behaved and remember, now he had a son, a certain amount of self-discipline wouldn’t come amiss. A vow of good intent worth keeping. But that didn’t extend to the occasional sexual adventure, did it?
He’d suggested driving Sally Vicksen home. Perhaps with too much haste? Especially as she’d admitted to being less than well-behaved. Less than her sister, at any rate.
Sally now also stood.
‘You could drive me home. But maybe it’d be better if I stay?
We all have good intentions that run awry at times, Pettinger more than others, though it seems. Nice continuation, Sandra. I think you named Sally Vicksen aptly.
DeleteGood story, Sandra, about balancing needs vs. wants.
DeleteThis Sally Vicksen is quite the intriguing character, Sandra.I hope we see more of her.
DeleteLovely introduction of a fascinating new character. The "Vicksen" reference was not lost on me, Sandra. So...did she stay or did she go?
Deletegood intentions... always a good thought, rarely a good happening. Nice instalment, interesting character.
DeleteThe Bray Chronicles
ReplyDeleteBartholomew Bray stood over the body of the dead Moroccan bellboy. Las Vegas grit dotted the gaping wound and a dollop of congealed blood fell to the pavement. He looked tearfully skyward, vowing it was the last time, praying to who knows what for discipline.
The brakes of a tour bus hissed. It appeared, according to the marquee in the front, that Garth Brooks had arrived. Nearby, a dark skinned ambulance driver spoke to a similar man. Moroccan? Perhaps not, but very close.
After concealing the body, Bartholomew Bray walked around the building and purchased a ticket for the show.
"Las Vegas grit dotted the gaping wound" - THAT ought to be a lyric somewhere!
DeleteWhat this cad Bartholomew Bray is up to now is very intriguing, John. He is so full of surprises, it's hard to say. You do so well in keeping us from nailing him down.
DeleteVery good use of narration and poor Bartholomew, it appears that with him a conscious is a fleeting and anti-morality thing.
DeleteAnd yet another Garth Brooks reference. Dare we hope for a collaboration here? And let's stop with this foolish hope you're feeding us that Bartholomew might change his ways. We both know better!
Deletethe suitably creepy nasty characterisation just gets better every week.
DeleteSinging rounds [Threshold 283]
ReplyDeleteHuh. So much for that gritty northern stoicism.
And, fool that I was, I knew myself well enough not to vow never to forgive him. Despite the prospect, as the temperature rose and the last apple proved too maggoty to tempt even the limpest Adam (never mind enable my survival), of being discovered several years hence, a heap of vulture-picked, sun-burnt and sirocco-polished bones.
My back to its trunk, I circled with the sun, remaining in the shadow of the tree and although patience not a discipline I am famed for, I kept my spirits up by singing. Until nightfall.
I wouldn't be so hasty to forgive Raven, though ! trust he'll be back in time. We'll see how many times she circles the tree. You can lock a dog in the garage for three hours and the dog will be glad to see you when you finally let it out. But not so much with humans.
DeleteI'm curious what she would be singing? sun-burnt and sirocco-polished bones was a very good line.
DeleteI think we already knew that our protagonist might be short on patience. She is a female of action, that much is assured. And Raven, as always, fascinates with the enigma of his character.
Deleteintriguing one this week, opening up possibilities - which I don't want to think about until I read them.
DeleteThe Cambion Proposal:#6
ReplyDeleteThe Immortals of Xanthos were discussing Princess Melthane’s curse.
“How say you two on it being a demonic curse,” asked Arcanus.
“I agree,” said Flamel, “Not a perfect match but demonic can’t be excluded.”
“Agree I do but care we must take because exclude we can not,” said Uxbex.
“Uxbex, we couldn’t locate any merchant fitting the description she gave.”
“Melthane’s grit for father she protects. Vow gave did she not? So truth expected you did?”
“Why would she lie,” Arcanus replied.
“Why wouldn’t she,” said Flamel.
“Distraction, if child a male is, inherit he would,” Uxbex said.
Uxbex sounds a little like Yoda. If my mom had named me Uxbex, I'd still be mad about it. I'm pretty sure the child will be male, though. He has to inherit to keep the story going, I think. Nicely done.
DeleteDefinitely sparks remembrances of a Yoda like voice characterization. I always find your dialogue driven pieces very enjoyable.
DeleteI'm with Patricia on your dialog entries, Jeffrey. They always produce an entertaining change of pace.
DeleteSudden Rush
ReplyDeleteIt calls for grit and determination to follow the rules. Not to mention discipline and a healthy aversion to destruction. There's no need to take a vow or make a pledge. We all know the consequences of breaking with tradition.
But...it's so tempting to be reckless and leave the crypt in search of blood before sundown.
Patricia, an excellent story and with an unexpected ending.
DeleteGreat set-up for an unexpected punch to the gut, Patricia! Nicely done!
DeleteNo leaving the crypt before sundown. You all know the rules.
DeleteNice one, Patricia. Besides being against the rules, it would seem like the sunlight would be damaging as well.
Oh to be young and impetuous! Nicely done, Patricia.
Deleteoh I like that!
DeleteOne Of These Nights
ReplyDeleteShe cares nothing for our vows and waits until she thinks I'm asleep before leaving. It takes disciplined control not to follow but I watch from the shadows.
She meets knights wearing armour of oily jeans and Jerry Garcia tee-shirts. They whisk her away, spitting grit and gravel, on a black-and-silver steed named Harley. Drifters just passing through. When they're gone, she'll find others...plenty of others.
I tell myself a man should stand tall. Be a man.
One of these nights, I'll confront her. Deliver my ultimatum and to hell with consequences.
One of these nights.
Perhaps this one.
Is her name Ruby? You've done a good job of depicting impotence.
DeleteIf he's such a Walter Mitty, why did she marry him? Very well done story and procrastination.
DeleteLoved the steed named Harley. I guess bikers do have their appeal, though I sometimes wonder what women see in them. Maybe I should get a bike. Very entertaining, Patricia.
DeleteJohn, my husband has bikes. Not Harleys ("Hardly-able-to's'), but an Ariel, a Velocette and several BSAs, one of which we took to Australia in 2018. Bikes aren't primarily why he appealed to me, though ;-)
Deleteone of our customers lives one road over from the shop and regularly visits us on his Harley as an excuse to get the monster thing out and ride it... and it is mostly silver. Brilliant little story.
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 216 - Tea And Sympathy
ReplyDeleteViolet's urn, overturned and leaking a gritty residue of insipid PG Tips and tea leaves onto the platform, was the cause of much disappointment to Clive Bailey, who had hoped to take a steaming brew back to Poppy in the train. Clive's disciplined upbringing, however, prevented him from creating a scene.
"It's an avowed fact that Violet is notoriously negligent and unreliable," said the Station Master sympathetically. "Best return to your carriage, old boy."
But Clive's compartment that he had shared with the pair of mysterious children, Poppy and, of course, Marmalade, was now completely unoccupied.
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To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
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Puzzling episode and where would they all go? Another enjoyable continuation.
DeleteWhat, Marmalade disappeared? No surprise there. I like how the Station Master is always adamant about keeping the schedule that really doesn't matter.
DeleteOh, poor Clive. I recently had 'gaslighting' defined to me - is this what's happening here?
Deletethe prompts lose themselves seamlessly in this episode - poor Clive becomes even more Poor Clive now, with an empty compartment facing him.
DeletePiss And Vinegar
ReplyDeleteGrandma was a severe disciplinarian. Lashings from her tongue and those with a birch switch were equally as brutal. We gritted our teeth and suffered our punishment in silence. To do otherwise would only prolong the whipping.
After Grandma's demise, we all took a vow. Swore on the old family bible. It's an oath we keep every week when we revisit the gravesite, hunt down Grandma and bury her all over again.
This leaves a little room for interpretation... is it Grandma who gets hunted down, or some other over-zealous disciplinarian that helps fulfill the vow? My dad often told of having to go out and cut his own switch for a whipping. He said if he didn't bring back a good one, the whipping would be a lot harder.
DeleteVivid reminder of much brutal times.
DeleteTalk about being on a roll, Patricia. A very well done story with a questionable ending.
DeleteI wonder if this group gives Grandma a whipping with a birch switch before reburying her? Very interesting, Patricia!
Deleteyou're full of stories this week, Patricia, and they're so good I'm consumed with jealousy!
DeleteStop The Week; I Want To Get Off (79)
ReplyDeleteIt’s good to have the discipline of the daily routine again, you know where you are then, even if you do vow to break free of the confines… it’s been slow but in many ways worthwhile, things are selling but nowhere near enough – yet. Early January is post-Christmas, little money, little interest. Should be buying next week, if all goes well and the gritters go out if it freezes. Too much rain at the moment for customers as well. The last decorations are down, different items in their place, ever hopeful… a change often brokers a sale.
The New Year brings new promise and I for one look forward to this entertaining serialization continuing. Always so refreshing to read these little excerpts of "Life from a Shop Window."
DeleteJanuary always is the longest month. I can't say dreariest as my youngest was born in this first month. Hope things pick up at the end of the month.
DeleteThe Mad Italian (138)
ReplyDeleteForgive the diversion this week but I see a new crisis coming to a head as the royals decide to stand back – gritting their teeth, no doubt, at the loss of backing, support, money, – and we watch, open mouthed, at the lack of courtesy of not informing the Head of your country before making the announcement. One wonders what their child will be like in the future, no doubt he will be the one snatching the cakes from the table, no discipline, it would seem. Royals should take vows in line with the marriage service. Then none could rebel.
I've always had mixed feelings about the monarchy. I don't see them of much value except as a tourist attraction in modern times but then again, I am consumed with the history of the monarchy, especially the Tudors and Stuarts. But am I royalist? I think not, despite the fact that historical records indicate one of my ancestors attended at Henry VIII's death bed. As always, Leonardo's observations give me reason to ponder.
DeleteIt is interesting, Antonia, to follow what in some ways is the soap-opera drama of the royal family. I can't help but think of the Duke of Windsor and Wally Simpson.
DeleteNo "Kursaal" installment this week. I believe my muse absconded with my plume and inkwell and I don't think she'll return before the deadline.
ReplyDelete