No. Don’t be led into thinking that,
because it isn’t always the case, and David’s so very obviously
stand-out winner, with ‘Bobby Thumbed a Diesel Down’ was as much on merit for
the choice of words, the wonderful phrasing and the big story in so few words
as the song, and that I YouTubed it while re-reading was only a small part of
it. So thank you, David.
And thank you all, for the start of
another Prediction year.
Words
for next week: cradle rupture poetry
Entries
by midnight (GMT) Thursday16th January,
words and winners posted Friday 17th
Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding
title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the
genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as
always, welcome. All variants and uses of the words and stems are fine. Feel
free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social
media you prefer.
Congratulations, David. Magnificent tribute to an iconic song from an iconic singer.
ReplyDeleteDavid, so sorry for the belated congrats for last weeks impressive story and duly deserved crown.
Deletebrilliant story, David, screamed Winner from the start. Congrats!
DeleteRock-A-Bye Baby
ReplyDeleteThe cradle is empty. It hadn't been empty an hour ago. Who knew a tiny infant, red-faced and angry, could scream loud enough to rupture eardrums?
It was normal, they said. It would get better, they said. But silence is supreme poetry to shattered nerves.
The cradle wasn't empty an hour ago.
It is now.
Been there, done that (very nearly)
DeleteSad but a wonderful and unique story to start the week. Very well done, Patricia.
DeleteTalk about the perfect title... or maybe we weren't talking about it, but we should have been. Perhaps the baby went for a walk with the nanny. Or maybe not. Chilling concept.
DeleteVisceral and chilling. Takes me back to many incredibly long nights.
Deleteme too, Holly, me too. Nine months before we had peace...
Deletecleverly done and very very close to the bone.
Change of focus [359]
ReplyDeleteSex, John Pettinger knew, wasn’t always poetry. Doggerel at times (he suppressed an ill-timed snigger); mechanical and awkward as a mistakenly begun-upon limerick, collapsing into the awkwardness of too few syllables. Plus, having, doing it just a wall away from his son more than a little inhibiting. Disastrous sex – rupture rather than rapture – had, in the past been prompted by far less than that. But Sally Vicksen knew what she was about. Tongue already discovered that turn-on point an inch below his left ear, fingers cradling his balls … oh yes.
So… would she be a stayer or a leaver?
What she is is more her decision than John's, I think. A very nice continuation with good descriptions and suggestive imagery.
DeleteOooh I love the first line, and the comparison to a limerick made me laugh. Pettinger has quite the twisting life, doesn't he.
DeleteI want to comment on the cradling of the balls, but I'd better not. An acquaintance of mine once said the worst sex he ever had was wonderful, but I don't know about that. The awkward moments can get in the way sometimes.
DeleteYour last line almost sounds like an invitation to vote, so I say let her stay. At least until Pettinger resorts back to his wily ways.
I had a feeling that Sally might be something of a little vixen in truth. Pettinger may just have his hands full with this one.
Deleteterrific descriptions here and a 'read-on' feeling.
DeleteRevival [Threshold 283]
ReplyDeleteBy night time I could only whisper words to keep fear at bay. Regretted I’d not a mother who, from the cradle, recited reams of epic poetry; those few I knew unable to withstand repetition. Nor constellations: beyond The Plough I was ignorant, but not so much I didn’t realise I should attempt to use it as a compass.
Legs numb I stumbled. Felt sure I’d ruptured little more than my dignity. Until I saw stars. Twinned stars. Gemini?
Too low.
Too fast.
Getting bigger. Coming closer. Then distant memory revived.
Was this … a vehicle? A car? Rescue? Or…?
Another story with vivid imagery and an excellent ending. Perhaps you should consider yourself for consideration this week.
DeleteA vivid, compelling scene. I love the first line (you're winning with your lines today it seems! :) and the idea of reciting epic poetry to bolster courage. I wish I could still remember the ones I'd attempted to memorize as a kid. :)
DeleteCan't wait to find out who has arrived!
C'mon Raven, your woman's in trouble. A train maybe? I know you've had questions before about the era this story takes place in. It often seems like bygone times but then other times there are modern references. Keeps us intrigued though, so keep it up.
DeleteI'm with John. The era of this story throws you for a loop just when you think you might have it figured out. I wonder if there might not be some type of time distortion taking place. Doesn't really matter since this is such a brilliant serial that you're happy just to be along for the ride.
DeleteBeautifully crafted build-up to the twin stars, Sandra. Crisp, fast-paced language hooks readers and pulls them anxiously along.
Deleteit's that tantalising 'Or...' that captures the imagination, just who or what - and will it be good or bad or downright dangerous or...
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 217 - The Railway Cat
ReplyDeletePoppy cradled Marmalade in her arms as she made her way along the platform past the ruptured tea urn. The orange tabby occasionally permitted such invasive familiarities if fond of the person. He was fond of Poppy.
They entered a vacant First Class compartment, one of the more luxurious, furnished with plush upholstery and Nottingham lace curtains. There was a tin of Kit-E-Kat for Marmalade, box of Black Magic chocolates for Poppy and first edition signed copy of "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" open at the poetic tale of Skimbleshanks...notorious for his skills as a most meticulous manipulator.
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To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
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Loved the images you evoked with this ... less so that I recalled the smell of Kit-E-Kat.
DeleteFlowing images in my mind and a thought that Marmalade had been reading that book.
DeleteLast week, I meant to voice my concern for the overturned tea urn and this week, here it is again. So something must be up with that. This is so intriguing with the rail car containing treats for Marmalade and Poppy, like a stranger enticing children with candy.
DeleteWith John's comments I can't help but think of all sorts of sinister reasons why the rail car is so inviting. I love the detail of the 'practical cats' book open to a particular page.
Deletean episode starring the famous and outstanding Marmalade can never be anything but good and this has such an air of mystery around it I feel it is drawing us all in.
DeleteHIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT
ReplyDeleteDetective Steve Ferlazzo shivered and bemoaned that burials often take place on dreary days. Though he was neither family nor friend, his presence wasn’t questioned, for mourners were focused on the beloved young woman who had been brutally murdered.
The priest’s remarks about God being with her from cradle to grave rang poetic in substance and delivery, but propriety quickly ruptured under a loud cough.
Ferlazzo scanned the gathering, aware that some killers attend their victims’ burials to revel in the misery they create.
Such as today.
Detective Ferlazzo smiled smugly knowing the killer was safely concealed in his shoes.
Perfect title, perfectly-paced - and chilling - tale.
DeleteJIm, an excellent story. Brazen, calculating, and enjoyable.
DeleteYour prompt containing sentence was well crafted, Jim. It must be hard for a priest to talk about God being with a woman who was just murdered. Gotta admire the brazenness of the detective.
DeleteA delightfully sinister surprise with that final line. Hopefully he's not also the detective meant to catch her killer.
DeleteWhat a perfect title for this tale. The idea of a smug smile is both descriptive and terrifying. I have a feeling there's one hell of an ego standing in those shoes. Magnificent story with just the right amount of suspense.
DeleteI like this, being a crime novel fan, liked the clever way it led to the rather shocking last line.
DeleteThe Cambion Proposal: #7
ReplyDeleteKing Ruthan feared that he’d ruptured his relationship with Melthane. It was poetic, a perfect sonnet. However, now the rhyme was off. For the first time since seeing her yellow eyes as she lay in her cradle, it didn’t flow. Melthane demanded to be at court, he said no. The rumors of her condition were spreading.
“How low can you go? A merchant?
“What’s wrong with merchants?”
“Money is their god and we’ve not found or heard of Lethark. I promise, no harm shall befall him. Besides, who’d want to marry you now?”
Melthane slammed the door in his face.
I'd slam the door too. Poor Melthane.
DeleteThis echoes with a sense of myth. An intriguing continuation.
DeleteThis king is terribly uncouth and deserved to have the door slammed in his face. I wonder what his next move will be?
DeleteClever use of 'ruptured' and can't say I blame Melthane for slamming the door in his face.
DeleteA Purpose
ReplyDeleteCraniums cradle, from which I write,
for my fans insatiable delight.
Poems I scribe, stories I create
for improvement I pray.
Barricades, accolades, and feedback
The potholes on a developing road.
Prompts are intriguing,
but make writing fatiguing.
I rupture my heart
over group whose etchings
I desire to become a part.
Saturday garage sales,
Cars line the street under cobalt canopy.
Few shoppers stop to peruse my wares.
Should I close my door?
Toss out the junk.
Stop dreaming of what I’ll never have.
I hear R-E-S but
Aretha’s song fades as the car drives away.
Your wares are always welcome in my book. Take this little gem... although it's a bit distressing, it really gets your point across. You really put your heart out there and I appreciate your talent to do so. Don't close your door.
DeleteFor the second time this week, I'm with John (lord help me!). This is a heartfelt little composition. Don't give up Jeffrey. You have much to offer.
DeleteI can relate to how fatiguing it can be, even though I love the creation. It is definitely something you should continue to pursue. :) Also, I loved the imagery in this. The cars 'under cobalt canopy' is really sticking in my mind.
DeleteThe Next Temptation
ReplyDeleteThe cosmonauts stepped cautiously though the hushed ruins of the dead city. Claws of yellow vines smothering bizarrely angled tilts of architecture. Centuries of salt deposits crunching underfoot.
The coordinates suggested they had found Visisirin, cradle of Hashemian civilisation. If legends were to believed they might also find the hidden vaults containing poetic stanzas with the apparent power to tear the very fabric of reality on a single recital.
Bushkov turned to Zuravleva and spoke through his comms. “How do you feel?”
Her reply caused a cold shiver to pass through him. “Like Eve about to seize the apple.”
David, some very evocative descriptions, claws of yellow vines, was especially vivid. Enjoyed the last line.
DeleteZuravleva sounds a like a potential mega-heroine for a series. Hope we hear more of her.
DeleteLike Jeffrey, I too find your descriptions evocative. If I may make a suggestion to your heroes, get the heck out. Don't open the vault...
DeleteHow very "Twilight Zone." This is so visual in its conception and that last line, a magnificent conclusion...or maybe not? I'd very much like to hear more.
Deletedefinitely want to read/hear more, please.
DeleteOooh this is evocative and grand. I loved this description 'Claws of yellow vines smothering bizarrely angled tilts of architecture.'
DeleteKursaal (Episode One Hundred Eighty Nine) - "Come Easy, Go Easy"
ReplyDeleteFernanda Frontera's reputation included unparalleled execution of the Fandango (known as "Poetry in Motion") and cradle-snatching penchant. She embraced both. Her true age was unknown, but she had ruptured many tender young hearts and admitted to dalliances with European bluebloods.
Fernanda maintained a revolving retinue of seven smitten consorts...one for each day of the week. With every changing of the guard, woebegone castoffs attended dance performances to gaze adoringly upon the aging bailaora before eventual reabsorption into the male populace.
Sometimes, infatuates disappeared altogether. If questioned on this, Fernanda flashed violet eyes and shrugged elegant shoulders.
"Ça va, ça vient."
--------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: Fernanda Frontera has featured in previous episodes.
'bailaora' new to me - thank you for that - and for the vivid depiction of her life.
DeleteWoebegone castoffs beware... don't be a pain in the arse or watch out. Even so, there is a definite appeal to this little vixen. Maybe it's the elegant shoulders. Nice one, Patricia.
DeleteSandra, I had to look up bailaora as well. How does she know these things?
Deletevery elegant instalment, befitting its subject and carrying the serial onward.
DeleteFernanda is a striking and fascinating character. I love how vivid this scene was, with the sinister element at the end found in all Kursaal episodes. :)
DeleteFernanda, a true fem-fatale. A wonderful story and all narration, which is hard to do.
ReplyDeleteThe Elders
ReplyDeleteThe sky had ruptured above our heads, the black expanse disappearing behind a writhing tangle of brilliant greens and purples. Spreading quickly, the tentacles of light moved towards the dark towers of our silent city.
“We could run.” Reant’s voice was defiant, but the thump of his heart behind my head betrayed his fear. Cradled in his arms, I watched as the first Elder fully emerged into our world.
“When they write about the lights, it’ll be poetic, you know? They’ll talk about the colors, not how we disappeared.”
“I won’t disappear.”
I sighed. He hadn’t had my nightmares.
And I sighed in pleasure reading this. " the thump of his heart behind my head" a wonderfully oblique description.
DeleteA well written story with a poetic feel.
DeleteA truly literary piece, Holly. The concept of the Elder emerging into the world was intriguing, to say the least. Very entertaining.
DeleteI especially loved the first paragraph, Holly... so vivid and colorful, a beautiful use of language.
DeleteYour writing always has that epic quality, Holly. What a true wordsmith you are!
Deletethis week the theme seems to be elegance, perhaps it's the prompts? This is elegant and in its own way, chilling.
DeleteNeed’s must
ReplyDeleteToday’s watcher his seventeen-year-old son again. Rank amateur, and not too bright. No poetry in his soul, nor common-sense. From the guest bedroom she watched him lurk in doorways opposite. Timed his arrival and knew in half an hour he’d stroll, gangster-lope, round to the rear yard where dray horses had once unloaded wooden barrels.
Decision made, last night’s sleep had been less ruptured, her mind clear and determined. She seized bag and car keys. Timed it right. Wound down her window and, in an accent culled from movies, purred, ‘Call me cradle-snatcher, but d’you want a lift, big boy?’
If I were seventeen again, I'd take the ride... though we didn't have a guest room, or an appropriate guest for that matter.
DeletePleasure of limitless proportions may be awaiting this lad... or something quite the opposite. Will we find out, Sandra?
DeleteDon't know Jim; this is a playing of ideas for my current wip; I hope to do more of them. That said, I've a good idea what does await him.
DeleteThis could be a coming of age story...or maybe not. Part of its charm is in the mystery of the true intention of this engaging cougar. And at the risk of showing my ignorance, what is a "wip"...???
DeletePatricia - wip = work in progress - novel number 5 in the Luke Darbyshere 'love triangles with murder' series.
Deletethis is superb character depiction in 100 words.
DeleteOooh to borrow Antonia's words, a superb character depiction indeed! I love her 'movie accent pur'. I can't help but wonder if something good or bad is in store for the boy.
DeleteSeventeen is of legal age in most places. Somehow I'm not sure that's her intent. An ominous story, Sandra.
ReplyDeleteBump in the Night #3
ReplyDeleteIs the ghost in the dominatrix outfit who I think it is?
“The point, April, is your aorta was ruptured in a hunting accident. I read your favorite poem, The Spirit of Solitude, by Shelly, at your funeral.”
“I know and I wanted to cradle you in my arms. It was so sweet. I’ll show my thanks once I’ve tied you to a pole for some punishment. Getting remarried, tsk, tsk.”
“Not in my house, banshee.” Mary’s voice echoing throughout the house.
“I’ve never had two slaves at once, but I’m open to new experiences.” April unfurled her whip.
Okay, Jeffrey, now you've got it going. This is very entertaining. Makes me think twice about remarrying, that's for sure.
DeleteOnce again, your true strength is in dialogue. Nicely done.
DeleteQuite the striking first line! I really enjoy their back and forth. Clever dialogue to be sure.
DeleteThe Bray Chronicles
ReplyDeleteLurking in the bowels of Caesar’s Palace, Bartholomew Bray watched the dark skinned man he’d seen outside who now wore an ill-fitting police uniform and cradled an over-stuffed Nike bag. Hardly police issue equipment.
“Up to no good?” Bray rotated a serrated blade with poetic ease.
“Death to all infidels!” the terrorist shouted and pulled a small device from his pocket as Bray lunged.
Outside, the terrorist’s brother moaned as the casino ruptured into flames. The explosion was much too early. As terrified people burst through the exits the sibling slowly drove the ambulance away knowing his brother was with Allah.
Liked the rotating serrated blade with poetic ease. It looks like Garth is safe.Good continuation, John.
DeleteWhat? No Moroccan boys?
DeleteThis took something of a sinister turn...and that's saying something when it comes to tales involving Bartholomew Bray. This time, I'm with Sandra....Wot, no Moroccan lads?
DeleteMaybe no Moroccan lads but who knows where this serial is going to take us waiting-with-bated-breath followers...
DeleteLoved the phrase 'Bray rotated a serrated blade with poetic ease.' It says much about the character. Well done.
DeleteSiblings
ReplyDeleteAt a dusty diner outside Santa Fe, the sibling cradled his tea cup and read the story of the bombing at Caesar’s Palace. Only six had died, including the bomber and the notorious serial killer, Bartholomew Bray.
Bray, it turned out, was lauded the hero for thwarting the attack and saving thousands of lives. Poetic justice, the newspaper said.
The attack had backfired and his brother was dead. The sibling left a five dollar tip and walked out of the diner, unmitigated revenge rupturing his heart.
John, thanks for providing a second instalment for this week. Good continuation. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
DeleteCould the MGM Grand be next on the sibling's list? Or perhaps the Tropicana? I think I'll delay my visit to Las Vegas. Good job, John!
DeleteHmm ... I'm not 100% convinced of BB's demise.
DeleteBartholomew dead...? Surely not. The man is a slippery eel. Wouldn't surprise me if he set up a closely resembling corpse to put about a false rumour. Sorry...don't believe it yet. You just can't be trusted, John.
Deletehe's not dead... he has a lot more 'adventures' and general nastiness to go through (and give out) before the finale...
DeleteHaha I love how suspicious we are. I'm also wondering if Bartholomew will pop up again.
DeleteSecond String
ReplyDeletePlaying cat's cradle alone can be done, if you know how. I know how. More fun with two people though. I like to play with my sister. We recite the "Oranges and Lemons" poem while we twiddle the string. Winner gets to sing-song the last line...here comes the chopper....
Sometimes, we scream the words so loud our throats bleed. Doctors say it's a ruptured larynx. Don't know what that means. Just glad when the pain goes away and we can play again.
They say there's no winner in cat's cradle for one, but there is.
Just ask my sister.
I never could get the hang of cat's cradle. I like how she refers to her sister in present tense. Very clever, Patricia. But then, that's your M O.
DeleteMore subtle and sly. And I was never very good at cat's cradle.
DeleteThat's dedication... to continue playing the game after the untoward physical consequences of doing so.
DeleteI used to play this for hours with friends, but not the way this one does!
DeleteGames with a sinister edge always make me shiver. I love the phrasing of this line 'Sometimes, we scream the words so loud our throats bleed.'
DeleteSo that's why she has to play alone now. A lightly macabre story but very well done. Another IMHO for consideration.
ReplyDeleteStop the Week; I Want To Get Off (80)
ReplyDeleteThe doctor said Shaun’s ankle is sprained, no damaged ligaments or other reason for the ongoing pain. Now it is support, rest and not overdoing anything. Pity he got that diagnosis after he went to the Harry Potter experience last Saturday… back to me alone. He bought three items; one was a large model of a leopard, poetry in motion. It sold today. The buyer cradled it all the way to the car… The torrential rain has not ruptured anything in the Victorian building, we and our stock stayed safe. It just deters any but the most determined shoppers.
Well, seems leopards are something of a desirable item. I can understand that. Big cats are such elegant yet dangerous creatures. Hopefully, Shaun's ankle will get better soon and business will pick up with the passing of rain. I'll say again how refreshingly different are these little snippets.
DeleteHas to be good about no rain damage. Loved the image of the cuddled leopard as well as (again!) how smoothly you incorporate the prompt words.
DeleteI guess I'll be the third to mention the cradled leopard; quite a find it appears. Should have put a higher price tag on it (hind sight, of course).
DeleteFirst, a speedy recover for Shaun. I used to think that all shoppers were determined, why else shop. However, very few are, most are semi-interested impulse buyers,
Deletethe shop motto, for those who run it, low prices, small profit, quick turnover. Any more than the high price we already had on the beast would have deterred buyers. Shaun predicted 12 people asking the price (we didn't put a tag on it) but it went after 3. We can spend a whole day talking to people, being nice, and have no sales at all, 'just browsing' or 'having a mooch round' is heard so often. Then right at the end of the time, someone buys something. We bought in the leopard, a lovely antique wooden box and a Chinese chest set. The chess set sold this morning, we were putting the figures away in their shaped recesses when someone else came in to ask for it, about 15 minutes too late. The box has yet to but but we have earned back our investment in the items, which is what matters.
DeleteI love the imagery of the customer cradling the leopard. Hopefully Shaun is on the mend soon.
DeleteThe Mad Italian (139)
ReplyDeleteThe actions of the royals who seek to leave the family have ruptured the serenity of their lives but it would be wrong to assume all is calm all the time. The head of the country is the all encompassing mother figure but inside, does she foment poetry or discord which she then conceals? Is she not human inside the role given to her by chance and history? We, those who observe, those who serve, those who are subjects, see only what is given to us and what we see right now is more discord to come. Watch this space…
I must admit, I learned of the Harry and Megan news quite by accident. Not sure what to make of it, to be honest. Like Leonardo, I can only imagine how difficult life in the palace must be, particularly for one from an entirely different background and sensibilities. If they are truly making a break from the monarchy as such, then I think I must applaud their actions. I believe the only one who could have done this would be Harry.
DeleteI'm glad we don't have princes and princesses here. They seem like a lot of maintenance. I think the queen is still pissed about her young son. Royals are dropping like flies.
DeleteAs for Her Majesty, she's queen first and foremost. As for Harry, he's sixth in line for the throne, though there's some who feel that Charles will 'pass' on it. As for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, they're creating a new format for royalty in this time.
DeleteCharles has already talked extensively of what he will do when he is king, he is not going to pass on the title, even if he wanted to, the laws of the country won't allow the crown to leap from one generation to the next without a king in between.
DeleteHarry and Meghan did everything wrong. They've been trying to upstage William and Kate for a long time, they announced the pregnancy at the reception of Eugenie's wedding, they upstaged Will and Kate's Pakistan tour with the news of their libel actions, they spend £2.4 million on a 'cottage;' and then go live somewhere else and in the middle of all that, they ignore courtesy and manners to the Queen. First she is their monarch, second she is Harry's grandmother... it has not gone down well with the people here. I'm not sure I want to see their new format for future royalty, it seems to be very one sided as well as watching how to score points of the other royal family. The 'rules' of being a royal are inculcated from birth, for outsiders it is very hard and she was warned, over and over, and still she went ahead. Wouldn't listen to sense, then complains she is plagued by the press. Now comes a court case which could be devastating, over the publication of a letter to her father, and he prepared to give evidence against her in the High Court... do we need our royals doing things like that? We do not. We had enough problems coping with Andrew's shenanigans and outright stupidity. I'm glad I'm old and might not see William take the crown, heaven knows what the Sussexes will do then in the one-upmnanship game!
It sounds like a lot is being mishandled lately, but it's a difficult world to live in, more so under scrutiny.
Deletecomments tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteKursaal (Episode One Hundred Ninety) - "The Mysterium Manuscripts/Part Two"
ReplyDeleteBundle of preserved handbills discovered near the remains of a ruptured water main on the outskirts of Skara Brea in the poetically inspirational Orkney Islands.
"Seeking entertainers (male and female) for new aerial cradle act. Caster and flyer positions available. Must be fearless, athletic and unafraid of heights. Funeral expenses covered in the event of fatalities during practice or public performances. Individuals with no family ties preferred since the company is of the incognito travelling variety. Costumes and training provided. Apply in person to Dagrun, owner of the Kursaal Karnivale, at the Management Yurt by..." (...date obliterated...)
--------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
I wonder how many applicants Dagrun received? How could one pass up this deal? I like these little snippets from the Kursaal's past. Very telling and entertaining as well.
Deleteone to avoid if you're sensible but there's a lot of daredevils who will go for that... intriguing little piece, pPatricia!
DeleteWell, you had me at Skara Brae, and this yet another brilliant example of the breadth of your foraging for inspiration!
DeleteI love this intriguing glimpse into how some of the people found themselves with the Kursaal. Lovely mysterious title too. :)
Delete