It’s always a pleasure and a source
of delight to see how many varieties of
nastiness can be drawn from seemingly innocent words. Last week’s innocuous
selection brought tattoos, death metal
and drunken gerbils. Brought fuzzy-felt and disembowelment,
poodles, Robin Hood and sexual secrets, shelf-stackers, type-casting and a
Teddy in a castle.
And I’m expected to make some sort
of judgement as to which this week strikes me as ‘the best’?
However, checking the tone of your comments,
I doubt there’ll be any complaint about Terrie’s
‘beer-flustered gerbils being counted this week’s winner, nor that I declare
there were too many second-placed to individually name.
Words
for next week: crate nerve simultaneous
Entries
by midnight (GMT) Thursday 14th March, words
and winners posted Friday 15th
Usual rules: 100 words maximum
(excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above
in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction
is, as always, welcome. All variants and uses of the words and stems are fine.
Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever
social media you prefer.
Terrie's entry was an excellent selection for top prize. Way to go, Terrie!
ReplyDeleteYes, Terrie's entry was top notch. Love those dillos.
DeleteThank you for awarding me top spot this week Sandra, and also for everyone’s kind comments about the dillos. I am really enjoying where they are taking me on this writing adventure . All episodes are stored safely and as the weeks go by the characters are becoming easier to write for. I have now developed a sort of plot outline for them all…more action is on the menu ….
DeleteHere here! love your work, Terrie, and congratulations!
DeleteLuverly job, Terrie. Your 'dillos are such a hit. Maybe we'll see them on Broadway one day. Would make a fantastic musical. Not surprised there were no listed runners-up last week. Choosing winners must get more difficult all the time. So....congratulations to everyone else!
DeleteCongrats Terrie!
DeleteTerrie, another excellent story and top story selection. Well deserved and well earned. Keep the stories going.
ReplyDeleteLame attempt to transition Mexican Cutie into a serial
ReplyDelete“I don’t have to make a million dollars every time I open my mouth to sing.” He knew he’d hit a nerve, but that’s why he paid his manager the big bucks.
“But Mexico?“
“Mexicans deserve to be entertained.”
“Don’t we all.” He shook his head. “Will you be crating anyone around while you’re there?”
“You’re out of line, Joe.” He flexed his arm, still sore from the new tattoo.
“El Capo’s successor probably made his move simultaneously to his boss’s return to prison. You don’t fuck with these people.”
“Just book the gig.”
The manager sighed and picked up the phone.
Well I think you've done a good job John. Dialogue that moves everything along, maintains the link to the previous piece and neatly opens the story out to take us to Mexico and who knows what. Just the right mix of mystery and danger to keep us readers hooked so I am definitely looking forward to the next instalment.
DeleteNot bad at all, John. I'll second Terrie's opinion. A well written story, tight writing and good use of the prompts.
DeleteI enjoyed the mystery and promise of danger, and I'm curious where the story will lead.
DeleteWorks for me John; I like the promise of more danger, wondering 'what next?'
DeleteReally great atmosphere, building a lot in short order.
Delete"Lame attempt"...pshaw!!!! This was presented with the customary flair and originality we've all come to expect. I'd love to know more.
DeleteI can only echo the above comments, John, and add that a gig in Mexico opens a new range of possibilities.
Deleteit certainly does open up a new set of opportunities for your characters, John and this is a smooth transition. Nice one.
DeleteThe Secret Armadillo Soldier (SAS) Diaries - entry 51
ReplyDeleteAfter removing all visible thorns, Big-teeth unrolled the mat revealing a battered, bloodied, unconscious, Armi.
‘Summat familiar bout this un, Moloch.’ He observed nervously, ‘Can’t put me paw on it but the boss orta see wot yer got ‘ere.’
‘Mine, first,’ Moloch muttered, nudging the motionless Armi.
Without a sound, Atlas crated his breath, ghosted closer, and two gerbils at the edge of the group vanished. Silently, he laid their bodies carefully out of sight. Simultaneously he reached for his hammer and reviewed the situation. The remaining gerbils were no threat: He was confident his hammer would deal with them.
This offered a little reprieve before the action starts - a good time to catch ones breath. Can't wait to see Atlas in action.
DeleteAtlas is a great character. I especially loved the phrasing of this sentence 'Without a sound, Atlas crated his breath, ghosted closer'.
DeleteYou know, there are a lot of compelling characters that grace this site, including the writers themselves, but I feel Atlas is toward the top of the list for his unique, likable style.
Delete'crated his breath' - how marvellous. As is the very visual rest of it.
DeleteThis is the first piece of this longer story I've read - but I like it - sort of a Watership Down for the Call-of-Duty set!
DeleteI am close to running out of words to encapsulate my admiration and enjoyment of your magnificent 'dillos and their adventures. I feel somewhat sorry for the "remaining gerbils." They will be disposed of with such apparent ease.
Deletethese dillos know about violence, and don't hesitate to use it and you use the words well to carry the story on.
DeleteLoved the last line, maybe a Thor reference? Good dialogue and nice scene descriptions. As usual, a worthy continuation.
ReplyDeleteJob Well Done
ReplyDeleteThe remaining crates were collected this morning, packed with personal items, apparatus and assorted paraphernalia. All sarcophagi and brazen urns were picked up simultaneously.
This is a nerve-wracking time. We have fulfilled our duties and satisfied our appointed tasks.
Will the promise be kept?
Will we now be allowed to return home?
I really like this Patricia, as always you have expertly captured a moment in time and padded it with a sense of purpose and mystery. There is also a feeling of pathos about it, and ambiguity... Is it present day … or, as that little historian elf sitting on my shoulder hopes, does it have ancient origins with conscripted Egyptian slaves and workers. What a brilliant opening for something much larger.
DeleteI have the feeling of robots in this one. No emotion from them, just a lightly mechanical quid-pro-quo. Well written and enjoyable.
DeleteI see this from a worker's point of view, perhaps assigned to an illegal task, and wondering if they would be able to leave since they likely know too much. Very nice.
DeleteI also got a lovely sci-fi vibe from this. I could feel their desperation and hope.
DeleteShort and very sweet. Could be Egyptian grave robbers, could be something of a very time. Certainly sets up nervousness.
DeleteThe questions build the characters. Nicely done!
Deletenice one, so much can be read into it that it becomes doubly entertaining.
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 180 - Better Safe...
ReplyDeleteHamnet, delivery boy from "Elsie's Dairy," wasn't sure how he came to be in the alley behind the Crossing Canteen. His trolley was there loaded with empty milk crates and on the ground, a tea urn had been dumped upside-down. Rustling noises emanated from within and pekoe dribbled around the rim. Summoning courage, he reached out with trembling hand for the trolley.
From the platform, there was simultaneous chiming of a station clock and high-pitched shrill of a Conductor's whistle.
Losing his nerve, Hamnet turned and took flight toward the Sanitarium in search of sanctuary offered by the privet hedge.
---------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
----------------------------------------------------------
I don't know if I'd take refuge in the Sanitarium hedge, but what do I know. It's like leaping from a frying pan. It will be an impatient wait to find out what's under that urn.
DeleteBut what is in the urn? :) Another perfectly captured scene. I enjoyed the imagery of Hamnet fleeing to the hedge.
DeleteAlways a pleasure to hear about Hamnet and now I'm anxious for his safety.
DeleteI love the imagery here - mixing the tea and milk gives this a lightness that makes the action even better.
Deleteanything could happen at Cripplegate, and often does... as to what's in the urn, I'm not entirely sure I want to find out.
DeleteClever incorporation of the prompt words Patricia and wonderfully descriptive images too. Cripplegate never fails to entertain and leave the reader wanting more.
DeleteFor me to describe Cripplegate... Alice in Wonderland meets The Twilight Zone. This is as good as they are.
ReplyDeleteUnexpected Opportunity 10
ReplyDelete“We know what a truck is. You weren’t hit by one. The shield you walked through flickered every nerve synapse in your body simultaneously, over a thousand times in one second. We examined every part of your body and made a few adjustments to correct for what our shield did to you.”
“How did I get past it?”
“We were surprised by your simplistic and direct action. We’ve adjusted for that.”
“Why are you here?”
“In your terms, our crate’s check engine light came on and we stopped for repairs.”
“What will you do with me?”
“What do you want?”
An entertaining exchange. I liked how the aliens were able to repair his body from the shield's damage. Very advanced. And it was just the equivalent of a triggered check engine light that brought them. Good stuff.
DeleteThat first line instantly held my attention. I loved the mention of whatever adjustments they made and the back and forth dialogue.
DeleteThis dialogue smooth and effective, Jeffrey. Moves the story on.
DeleteI like that the aliens know that piece of context to use with him - how long have they been here?
DeleteJeffrey here Chris. Thanks for reading and the question. This ship 24-36hrs.
DeleteThat last line has my imagination twirling, Jeffrey. So many possibilities - pleasant and unpleasant. This is good stuff!
DeleteThose final two questions leave such an opening. As always, the dialogue is impeccably tuned to the scenario.
Deletewould anyone be able to answer that last question instantly? and if they did, what would it do to their lives... second piece this evening (for me, anyway) to raise questions.
DeleteThis dialogue is so well executed Jeffrey. I’ve come back to it several times. The last line is brilliant … so tantalizing and full of adventurous potential.
DeleteKursaal (Episode One Hundred Fifty Four) - "Twittering, The Optimistic Officer"
ReplyDeleteChief Constable Twittering continued ineffectual inquiries regarding the Kursaal's missing persons conundrum by visiting the park, regular as clockwork, on the third Sunday of every month.
Ludmilla Bartók (who ran the First Aid Station) was particularly vexed at these sojourns. Appointed nursemaid and given simultaneous duties of escorting Twittering while keeping his beak-like proboscis from poking into things that shouldn't concern him grated on Ludmilla's last nerve.
It didn't help that he was also infatuated with her, gifting flowers by the crateload and hamperfuls of bon-bons. She was allergic to floral perfumes and chocolate gave her hives.
Enough was enough!
---------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: Chief Constable Twittering and Ludmilla Bartók have both featured in previous episodes.
Poor girl... can't eat chocolate. Bummer. At least Twittering was punctual and his visits could be prepared for, at least as well as can be prepared for at the Kursaal. I wonder how many missing persons there are?
DeleteI loved the contrast between Twittering and Ludmilla. It doesn't sound like Ludmilla is going to let this continue! I always enjoy your name choices too. :)
DeleteOh, another fascinating airing, full of insight into such differing characters and sustaining my interest in ongoings at the Kursaal.
DeleteIt would be interesting if C C Twittering turned up on another day, to send all the Kursaal people (the ones who are left) into a tizzy - all sorts might be revealed, but whether you could capture that in 100 words is highly unlikely!! We'll stay wondering for now.
DeleteWhat a brilliant character you have in Chief Constable Twittering. You have created a wonderful image of the man with his ‘beak-like proboscis’ being ineffectual, infatuated and an unwanted admirer.
DeleteI loved the word play on the constables name and ineffectual inquiries. Lovely use of words (sojourns impaticurally). A usual, your stories don't disappoint.
ReplyDeleteDon't Trust the Merchandise
ReplyDeleteThe trees are pink overhead, and the sky stretches beyond the blurring branches, milky like a death-filmed eye. My nerves are frayed, and my lips red and swollen, caught again and again between my teeth. I fumble with the crate, and my companion’s eyeless face turns towards me.
“I’ve got it,” I say quickly, reassuring both of us.
I don’t like it here, and my mind drifts to the portal behind me. I want to go home.
The buyer arrives and we make simultaneous movements, quickly exchanging delivery and payment.
“Until next time,” I lie.
The crate thrums, impatient.
You had me at ...pink trees. and just what is in that crate? A darn good story, Zaiure.
DeleteWhen I read the stories on here, I always read straight through the first time to gauge the flow, then re-read to study it closer. Through your own display of brilliance, I stopped the first time through at 'milky like a death-filmed eye.' I just couldn't get past it until I basked in it a bit. The rest of the story was pretty good too. Loved it.
DeleteMy reading of this echoed John's, a pause for extra enjoyment at 'milky like a death-filmed eye.' Your writing and imagination a never-ending delight.
DeleteIt was already great - and then the thrumming crate- intrigue!
DeleteWhat a killer of a last line. In fact, the entire tale was a thrill from start to finish. What a wonderful word "thrum" is.
Deletea crate full of... everyone's out to create suspense this week! Brilliantly, in this case.
DeleteOpening with such entrancing imagery you have cleverly contrasted it with visceral descriptions and stark conversations. This is a wonderful story that begs continuation
DeleteA CHANGE OF PLANS
ReplyDeleteBecause she spurned my advances I killed Monica, wrapped her in plastic and stuffed her in a crate I hid in a remote cave.
Today I shall retrieve her and marry her.
Unfortunately, she looked terrible. Her eyes were empty, as cold and hollow as a bottomless well. Moreover, the grayish-green patch across her abdomen confirmed that bacteria in her gut had simultaneously eaten through her stomach and intestines. Also, the maggots rippling beneath her sagging skin were no doubt feasting on her veins and nerve sheaths.
I stuffed her back in the crate.
“Sorry, Monica. The wedding is off.”
J.D. that's a good last line, all nicely set up by the story, bravo.
DeleteWell by god. This is so unique and entertaining, despite the macabre-ness. I can't help but wonder what his expectations of her appearance was.
DeleteUtterly horrifying with those descriptions and the casual nonchalance of the narrator. I liked the disgusting description of the maggots 'rippling beneath her sagging skin'. Eww. :)
DeleteSkilfully, and poetically vivid while entertaining and horrifying. O'm glad I haven't yet had breakfast.
DeleteLove the last line.
DeleteOh my. Talk about cold-hearted! I loved this. The nonchalance. The offhandedness. The creative use of prompts. And so, his lady fair is not so fair any more and the nuptials are null and void. There's just no pleasing some people.
Deletethis is sooo good, so casual, so cold... what else can you say? fantastic last line.
DeleteWhat more can I add to the comments above? I agree with them all . A masterful piece.
DeleteTHE CRATE
ReplyDeleteI stood in front of the crate for at least 5 minutes, trying to work up the nerve.
In the end, I didn’t even do it. There was this noise, like a wounded animal, and a simultaneous thump from inside. Hard.
The wood splintered and cracked, and I just stood there, eyes closed, while whatever was inside came. I could feel it breathing on me, smell the stench of its breath, before it howled and took off.
I don’t know where it went. I don’t want to know.
I hope I’m never near that thing again.
Some things are best left alone, eh AR? This is a nice, tension-filled tale. Well done!
DeleteI think I remember Bugs Bunny or maybe The Coyote from Roadrunner ordering a Tasmanian Devil and it came in a crate. But never mind that... I think what saved your character was he froze and just stood there. The creature, thankfully ran off, which was such a relief. Nicely done.
DeleteExcellent build-up and satisfying end, proving heroes aren't always necessary to entertain.
DeleteWhen I saw the prompt - this was the first thing I thought of - reminding me of the old Creepshow segment. Glad I kept thinking of different takes - as you've done this much better then I would have!
DeleteExcellent tension and ending - I agree with Sandra. I probably would have done the same haha. If we don't see it/look at it, then it won't bother us, right? Right?
DeleteWhat a truly excellent plan of action. Do nothing and remain still. Like Chris, this reminded me a little of the old Creepshow tale, but your version is just so more satisfying. Wonder how long it was before our protagonist worked up the courage to actually move.
Deletestanding still in the face of possible danger takes a lot of nerve. Your protagonist had some nerve, AR. Good story.
DeleteWell, I don't think it was Hope. I really liked this story AR. Good prompt use and a mystery.
ReplyDeleteSquatter’s Rites-21
ReplyDelete“David, sorry about how it turned out. You’ll make a profit.”
“I’ve few nerves left Paul. Profit! That house isn’t fit for Fortuna and I to live in.”
“The Colorado Historical Society, has offered grants to restore the house. You’ll clear a little over a million dollars, not including those unopened crates. The work could be finished simultaneously to the arrival of your child. Congrats by the way. I’ve waived my fee.”
“Why?”
“Legal Precedent.”
He snapped his fingers and disappeared.
His card was in David’s hand.
Paul T. Gyst.
Sorry for the deletes but I was using the wrong bracket for bold and italic and the didn't show.
Nice play on the lawyer's name. Had you hinted before about the lawyer's unworldliness? Very entertaining.
DeleteJeffrey here. Yes, in the 1st installment. Thanks for following this and I’m glad you found it enjoyable.
DeleteThis is fun. Neat how, in this world, bureaucracy and hustle extend post-mortem!
DeleteThough I'm sure it's quite the headache, I love the idea of restoring old homes. It felt quite fitting that the lawyer can just pop in and out as he pleases. :)
DeleteThis was a very interesting and entertaining continuation. Never trust a lawyer though. A waived fee could lead to something less beneficial down the road.
DeleteLament Of A Lady Bountiful
ReplyDeleteIt isn't easy, dealing with divas. Selfish, ungrateful, grasping and impatient creatures who often want desires fulfilled by the crateload. Immediately and usually simultaneously to boot.
Never a single solitary thought for their poor benefactor who struggles without complaint to grant their every whim.
It's just "Gimme. Gimme. GIMME."
The nerve! The sauce! The unmitigated gall!
Take, for example, that one with the ugly stepsisters. Now, she's lost more expensive glass slippers than a fairy godmother can shake a weary wand at!
Bibidi Bobidi Boo. Who would have thought Cinderella would turn into a diva. Makes sense, though. Nice one.
DeleteYes indeed - Cinderella some years on. So very original!
DeleteAlways wondered about those glass slippers! Nice one. :)
DeleteI love when you do a fairytale retelling. :) This is a fun story from the perspective of the godmother, and the title is perfection.
DeleteJeffrey here and what a lovely story twist. Really good use of the prompts.
DeleteCinderella is good for rewrites, this is an exceptional one.
DeleteGreat use of the prompts, Patricia. Finally, someone shows concern for the fairy godmother's feelings. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThe Secret Armadillo Soldier (SAS) Diaries - entry 52
ReplyDeleteNoticing a shadowy figure behind Sarg, Tosca was instantly alert.
Sarg smiled. Her first impressions of the straggly creature proved correct; an asset for the team. ‘Tosca, meet Cinereus,’ she said, moving aside for the scruffy prophet.
Nigel view the mystic koala, whose grumpy glare unsettled everyone he met.
Unconcerned, Tosca returned the glare with a simultaneous, swift, appraisal of the unkempt prophet’s crusty face, cratered fur, and missing limbs.
‘I will go with them.’ Cinereus said decisively.
Sarg started to protest but Cinereus stopped her with a glare.
Nigel flinched nervously at the prospect of the maimed prophets company.
Ooh, a new character, a scruffy prophet, sparking reaction from one and all. So very solid in their reactions.
DeleteNicely visual.
DeleteAs usual, your character names often intrigue me, and sure enough, I looked up Cinereus and a picture of a koala bear popped up. This should be an interesting trip.
DeleteA "scruffy prophet" who just happens to be a "mystic koala." What a wealth of imagination you do possess. Where do I go to tap into it?
DeleteYet another interesting twist in this entertaining series, Terrie. Where will you take us next?
DeleteJeffrey here on dinner. A new member of the club and how will they fit in. As usual, Terrie, a well done episode.
Deletedeceptively casual instalment, containing a lot of storyline which will emerge (I hope) over the next few weeks. Nice one, Terrie!
DeleteCinereus is a really interesting name, and I loved the description of the koala prophet.
DeleteMorning has broken [Threshold 239]
ReplyDeleteSunrise revealed good and bad. The good a visual delight of distant horizon and a river which ought to provide us with smoother transport than this rickety gig, repaired in places with with flimsy slats from orange crates which, thanks to Wishbone’s urgent desire to escape it, looked unlikely to last the day. I hauled him to a standstill, Raven’s good arm behind my back to lend support, mine afire as nerves protested at the extra effort.
Wearily I clambered down, offered Raven my shoulder for support. Simultaneous to his insufficiently-suppressed groans of pain, another voice.
‘Halt or I fire.’
You've a great knack for a cliffhanger. :)
DeleteJust when things were starting to look up, with Raven exhibiting some kindness, this new person shows up with the gun. You do internal strife so well.
DeleteWho is this, suddenly appearing to put the kibosh on the exodus? And just when Raven and his lady looked to be getting potentially cozy again. What life you have injected into these characters.
DeleteJeffrey here, now I’ll have that song in my head. Sandra, your writing never disappoints.
Deletegood song to have in your head, Jeffrey!
DeleteSandra, tightly written instalment this week, covering a lot in few words.
I loved your description of their surroundings, so vivid! - 'a visual delight of distant horizon and a river...' And that excellent hook at the end is leaving me quite impatient for next week.
DeleteChange of focus 318
ReplyDeletePettinger found Aleks teetering along the branch of a tree. He’d accepted a dare from Rowena who sat on the grass below, a crate of already-picked apples beside her, she urging him to reach for bigger, shinier ones at the end.
Reading Pettinger’s disapproval she justified, ‘He needs to test his nerve.’
Her too-knowing eyes simultaneously challenged the degree to which Pettinger might allow parental desire to protect to be subsumed by sexual desire.
Pettinger turned his back. To Aleks, ‘I have to go. I hope to visit again before I return to England.’
Whispered from behind, ‘So do I.’
So much going on here. That "desire" bit in particular has so much depth!
DeleteI like how Rowena stood up to Pettinger's disapproving look. I'd say she won this round.
DeleteThis seems rife with undercurrents taking place below the surface. Is that Rowena doing the whispering? I think maybe so, but you always provide so many twists and turns it's foolish to think any assumption might be true at this point.
DeleteJeffrey here. I enjoy Pettinger’s snap decisions and the slight air of aloofness. Good use of the prompts.
DeleteI agree with Patricia that there seemed to be many undercurrents beneath the surface of this piece. That first line too, instantly set the scene with danger and curiosity. I also liked how Rowena stood up to Pettinger.
Delete[Change of focus 319]
ReplyDeleteIt was hard enough to hold his nerve and keep walking towards the waiting Filip. Arms folded, leaning against his car, his grin simultaneously knowing and forewarning.
Over-defensive. ‘What?’
‘You jammy sod.’ Smile faded. ‘But she’ll have to wait – Your dead body, Yanno. The pretty one –‘
‘Tamara Petzincek?’
‘Yeah. Seeing your arrival, some bright spark put two and two together. Came up with an entire crate of corruption. Went and told his boss. Who ordered me to convey you thither.’
‘With what in mind? To help or be accused?’
‘I’ve been issued with a warrant. For your immediate arrest.’
"Jammy sod." Great line.
DeleteThis was a great transition from Pettinger's uncomfortable moment concerning Rowena to his potential arrest. Nicely done. Loved the too eager what.
DeleteSharp intake of breath....Pettinger is under arrest? That I did NOT expect. Like Chris, loved the "jammy sod" reference. My and my teenage cronies used to say something very similar but I think ours was "jammy beggar." LOL. On another note, I'd like to have a closer look at that warrant.
DeleteJeffrey here. Don’t they know that arresting Pettinger never works. An enjoyable story.
Deletetwo instalments, what pleasure! You've got Pettinger into and out of some strange situations over the history of this serial, and still more situations come up for him. He's one weary person, surely!
DeleteI'm very curious to see how Pettinger evades arrest! I loved the phrase 'his grin simultaneously knowing and forewarning'.
DeleteP.O. Box
ReplyDelete"No ordinary crate subscription," the advertisement read. "Dazzing. Mindblowing. Five enthusiastic stars!"
I paid my money.
The first box arrived. Inside was the take-out menu from my first real date. The paper was old, maybe old enough. It smelled like vanilla perfume.
The second box arrived. It contained chocolates, and current photos of my sister, who was living in Europe.
The third box arrived. My nerves couldn’t take much more. There was a thumb inside.
The fourth and fifth box arrived simultaneously. They were heavy and smelled bad.
The packing slip read:
"Give us five stars, and we'll stop."
There's a lot of weight here. Nasty and staining. And more than a little troubling.
DeleteThat's one way to get a good rating. Very original and entertaining.
DeleteIf this doesn't smack of suspense, than I don't know what qualifies. What a unique angle in order to get a higher rating. Not sure I want to know what resides in the fourth and fifth crates, but I'm afraid curiosity is getting the better of me. So...go on then!
DeleteSuspenseful and macabre. Interesting what information about him they could find. Looking forward to the next chapter, if there will be one. Very good story.
Deletegood to see you, Chris, with this startling piece, too. Magical horror writing.
DeleteNot a subscription I'd want to end up with! I started off excited by that description, and then quickly horrified. Well done. :)
DeleteQuite a novel entry, Chris. Tender memories leading to not-so-tender ones.
ReplyDeleteVery nice!
Cripplegate Junction/Part 180(A) - Cripplegate Comeback
ReplyDeleteWith simultaneous whistle and chiming clock, Cripplegate sprang into life with all the hustle and bustle of a railway terminal.
At the rear of the train, a caboodle of crates awaited collection by a porter who had yet to arrive. Atop the jumble of containers, Marmalade perched. A Trafalgar Square lion overseeing flurries of activity. Anticipation rippled along his spinal nerve. His magnificent tail undulated...an involuntary response.
From this vantage point, Marmalade spotted Hamnet making a beeline for the Sanitarium. The lad was getting nowhere, unable to locate an exit from the alley at back of the Crossing Canteen.
---------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
----------------------------------------------------------
Caboodle, haven't heard that word in a while. Pity that Nelson's Column wasn't there. good prompt use.
Deletethe ever watchful Marmalade keeping a very close eye on all the happenings around him. What he does about it is the next thought...
DeleteI really like the Trafalgar Square lion analogy. So specific, and deft. Great entry!
DeleteLovely alliteration and word choices here; Marmalade star of the show.
DeleteYay Marmalade! I love the description of Marmalade as a 'Trafalgar Square lion overseeing flurries of activity', and 'Anticipation rippled along his spinal nerve. His magnificent tail undulated...an involuntary response'. Lovely phrasing conveying his personality quite well.
DeleteFrom calm to mayhem, from fit to unfit – Tuesday Shaun had an accident and ended up with chronic nerve pain, trauma of the spine, apparently. Not sure yet of the diagnosis for the van, whether it will be dumped in a crate and lost or repaired for a longer life with us. Someone came today with a van load of goodies, including ammo boxes, all of which had to be stacked in the shop somewhere. Simultaneously customers began buying old stock, including three different toned cowbells which they rang incessantly… meantime the shop is entirely mine. Lucky me…
ReplyDeleteLovely stream of consciousness, and the two vans create a lovely question for the reader - where did they get a van-load of stuff?
DeleteThere are house clearance businesses on the island, but they're all suffering as fewer and fewer house moves/clearances are happening. This guy decided to part with a load of items he'd picked up in house clearances over time, as he needs the money. Changing fortunes. He's promised to bring us some more. We don't have elastic walls, a lock up, an empty garage, any or all of these would be welcome at times. Equally we dare not turn down stock, we might end up with empty shelves. So, it's a constant battle to keep the shop floor relatively tidy, clear enough for people to walk (no trip hazards) and interesting enough to keep them there long enough for them to find something to buy. 2/3rds of our visitors/browsers/time wasters (depending on our mood) don't buy and 1/3rd don't bother to even acknowledge us, either. Working in retail for the first time after a career of legal work and then children's writer has come as a shock in some ways, interesting in others. My little book on our first five years is out even as we speak. It details some of the more stupid comments we've had. My favourite is still 'what do you do all day while you wait for customers?'
DeleteThis was quite lovely...although probably not so much for poor Shaun. My ears were buzzing with the thought of three different toned cowbells ringing in unison. Not everyone's choice for a wind chime, I'm sure. Fingers crossed for Shaun's speedy recovery and the van as well.
DeleteSuch a see-saw of experiences; take a special adaptability to cope. Sorry for Shaun, and your struggles, glad you can appreciate solitude, idle or not!
DeleteI also couldn't get the sound of the three cowbells out of my head. :)
DeleteThe Mad Italian 97
ReplyDeleteWill the PM hold her nerve? Can she simultaneously hold her party together and fight off the opposition? A crateful of courage and a few more months and she can leave office knowing she has done her best. Meantime the opposition leader continues to be foolish, declaring there was not one change to the latest document, despite others saying the changes were beneficial. I do wonder how some of these ‘leaders’ get away with remaining in power. Cannot his fellow party members see what a fiasco this is? The date grows ever nearer, with nothing resolved and nothing agreed.
Agreements and resolutions do not come easy where politics are involved. Looks like this is something Leonardo is well aware of, but then he is an insightful soul and I would expect no less from his wisdom of affairs, both current and aged.
DeleteI am really curious to see where it leads. Will an agreement be made or not?
DeleteI'm sensing a bit of the topical here. Fingers crossed it all works out ... for the Mad Italian. (etc. ;) )
ReplyDeleteThe Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #170
ReplyDeleteLike Poking a Panther
Simultaneously, far away: “The nerve of that dragon! To steal the princess away from me. I had plans for her.”
Roskilde was muttering to themself alone, nursing their singed ears.
“I’ll get her and her little friends won’t know where to start looking.”
The dark elf grinned. “Maybe I’ll use this crate.”
As well as entertainment there's an immense amount of skill in this short but entertaining and verr effective picee. Thank you Rosie.
DeleteLoved the phrasing 'singed ears'. :)
ReplyDelete