.
After much indecision, and counting
the many plaudits, I declare this week’s number 1 to be Jim.
Words for next week: digit
furtive Lolita
Entries
by midnight (GMT) Thursday 21st March, words
and winners posted Friday 22nd
Usual rules: 100 words maximum
(excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above
in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction
is, as always, welcome. All variants and uses of the words and stems are fine.
Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever
social media you prefer.
[Change of focus 320]
ReplyDelete‘Arrest? Bollocking fu–!’
Pettinger examined the face he’d known since childhood. Nothing furtive in Filip’s eyes; no guilt, so how to interpret his incomprehensible statement?’
Filip put finger to lips, turned his head, used that same digit to indicate the wire concealed beneath his collar. With near-convincing distaste, which failed to hide underlying sarcasm, he said, ‘Evidence suggests you imported Tamara Petzincek for your own pleasure. Eventually tired of her and dumped her in the slurry. They’ve witnesses suggesting you intend Rowena Balincek to become Lolita II –‘
‘Witnesses being Baptiste?’
‘No. Rowena’s mother.’
‘Who is?’
‘Valdeta’s elder sister.’
More twits than a pretzel and all enjoyable. Nice use of the prompts and a very interesting installment.
DeleteJim congrats on having such a talented story to emerge from the pack of seven as the winner.
DeleteI'm always guessing and intrigued by this serial. Twisted like a pretzel indeed! :) I also enjoyed the description of Filip revealing the wire.
DeleteThis episode was even more cloak and dagger than usual. Always fascinating is Pettinger and his "doings."
DeleteI've just read a crime thriller full of twists, this is outdoing it by a ratio of 2- 1!
DeleteYou forgot to finish your first sentence. It's such a relief to see Filip is still on Pettinger's side. Now we have another character who's initial introduction suggests guile and innuendo. This should prove to be good. My suggestion to Pettinger: trust Filip, keep your head and keep everything in your pants.
ReplyDeleteThe Invitation
ReplyDeleteThe crowd roared as the singer tossed his Stetson to a group of tittering Lolita wannabes in the front row. Damn, now he’d have to get a new hat. He gave a final wave and caught sight of her off to the side. Three suited behemoths surrounded her, obvious bodyguards. El Chapo’s men? She lobbed a furtive glance and suppressed a smile.
The crowd stamped and chanted, Mexican style, demanding an encore. One of the bodyguards walked to the stage and extended his arm. Three digits on a blank card: a room number? He watched, enthralled as she left the building.
Ooh, I DO like this! Threats and promises and mystery. Next one please.
DeleteYou have me hooked, John! This flows so smoothly from beginning to end. 'Lobbed a furtive glance' creates a great image.
DeleteA very economical use of words using narration to expand on your series. Very well done.
DeleteI loved the description of the bodyguards - 'Three suited behemoths surrounded her'. I'm very curious about the mysterious woman and want to know where this will lead.
Delete"tittering Lolita wannabes" is simply genius to capture the mood of this gathering. So now we are left wondering just what the meaning of getting a room number might be leading to? To quote "Hotel California," it could be heaven or it could be hell. Can't wait to find out!
Deletean exciting descriptive instalment, John, more please!
DeleteCongrats Jim! :)
ReplyDeleteI am honored and humbled to be awarded the top spot last week. Many thanks!
ReplyDeleteWorthy win, Jim. Great entry in a virtual treasure trove of tales last week.
ReplyDeleteI understand that Google+ is being discontinued. I don't think I use that function to post here, but I do post via Google, so I don't know. Hoping I won't have any interruptions. If so, I'll have to find an alternative, which won't be easy given my limited knowledge of how this stuff works! Wish me luck.
ReplyDeleteI'm no help with that, I'm afraid. Good luck! :)
DeleteGuess I could always post under the "anonymous" designation and leave everyone wondering who had the audacity to publish such rubbish!
DeleteJeffrey here. I’m using anonymous right now. Type your comment then click preview. ID the pictures and then post.
DeleteS U R P R I S E
ReplyDeleteWith a furtive glance around, the skulking shadow man slipped up the steps to the worn front door. Jerking his penis-like head around, he drove the sad old door into the shack, nearly destroying it. Inside, nervous digits swiped wet lips. The child had texted, reminding him of the soda-pop wine coolers he had promised her, and telling him to just walk through the door, no need to knock. He nearly swooned, imagining the delights waiting. Then the lights snapped on, and surprise, several large MEN, (no Lolita), and many weapons, in large, gnarled hands. SO disappointing!
“This isn’t what…”
Such a build-up of awfulness, hinging on 'The child'. So good the ending, delivering a different comeuppance to what he had in mind.
DeleteI try to tread lightly around unforgiving subjects. They tend to shock, and raise powerful emotions, which of course is my goal.
DeleteYes, a surprise ending to say the least. Good tight writing Dave.
DeleteI thought the man's entrance through the door was very striking - 'he drove the sad old door into the shack, nearly destroying it'.
DeleteMagnificent image is that of a "skulking shadow man." This reminded me of possibly the most eerie poem I've ever read:
DeleteYesterday upon the stair I saw a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish that man would go away.
Anyway, remarkably creepy piece which left me cheering when old skulky found total disappointment on the other side of the door.
very nicely done, Dave, excellent descriptions and wonderful last line.
DeleteSurprise indeed! You build this scene up so smoothly, Dave, before dropping the axe. Wonderfully done!
ReplyDeleteThank you JD. I tried to stay simple, and let the mind's eye tell the story. Congratulations on last week's honours!
DeleteKursaal (Episode One Hundred Fifty Five) - "Got To Be A Twist"
ReplyDeleteAppearance of a new pinball machine at Archaic Arcade was surprising. Some Kursaal employees deemed installation between the fortune-card issuing "Prophetess" and ancient Pachinko game furtive, secretive and possibly clandestine. The arrival even went unnoticed by eagle-eyed manageress, Sibyl Wainwright...or so she claimed.
With neon digits and pulsating lights, the backglass proclaimed the machine to be named "Lolita." It featured the animated image of a young girl who winked, simpered and pouted at the launching of every silver ball.
Magnificent prizes were hinted for exceptional scores, but the alluring nymphet was so distracting, it was impossible to maintain flipper control.
---------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: The Archaic Arcade (including "The Prophetess" and Pachinko game) and its manageress, Sibyl Wainwright, have featured in previous episodes.
Wicked and well-described. And thank you for both 'clandestine' and 'simpered'
DeleteLovely continuation. Enjoying it very much, thank you.
DeleteWell how you used 'flipper control' was most unique. Loved the name Archaic Arcade.
DeleteHow you described the pinball machine was so interesting and vivid, I loved it! The line 'Some Kursaal employees deemed installation...furtive, secretive and possibly clandestine' hinted at delicious danger. And the final line about flipper control... that definitely painted a strong scene. :)
Deletethe skill is in saying even more than is actually there - vivid words bring vivid images in the mind. Good one, Patricia!
DeleteCelestial
ReplyDeleteLolita idly rolled the keycard across the back of her hand, as she watched Telnov re-holster his gun for the third time. “Relax, Breaker,” she said, her gold-ringed eyes a calm gray beneath a thick fringe of purple-dipped hair.
Telnov gave her a furtive look, and reached again for his gun. He never could look her in the eyes, unnerved by the Celestial that rode her.
“What if the digits don’t work?” Telnov asked. “What if Sayer can’t turn off the-”
“Relax. Keep your head and we’ll be rich.”
Well, she would anyway. She shoved down the Celestial’s hunger.
As ever, you build a rich and tantalising scene which leaves me avid for more.
DeleteYes, more please!
Delete"Well, she would anyway' is a line so rich is possibility, Zaiure. Very nicely done!
DeleteLolita a a name is good, the other names were also good. Another flowering tree producing a delectable fruit.
DeleteI think my favourite of this piece was the description of Lolita. Lovely build up of suspense too. Not surprising, given the source.
Deletetis a great piece of writing, good choice of names and last line. I do like a good last line...
DeleteArrows of desire [Threshold 240]
ReplyDeleteThe bow taller than she, its lower end resting on the ground. Arrow ready-notched. Each bone of each digit correctly-placed, knuckles white. Mere seconds effort needed to swing it to meet its target. Similarly tight-held determination in her eyes, denying a need to reinforce a courage beyond what could be expected of one of such tender years, eschewing a near-compulsion to, I thought, furtively check for reinforcements.
Raven was the target. Me a partial shield.
Raven she recognised. She knew.
She hated.
I looked to him for explanation. Flinched facial muscles suggested he knew why.
Involuntary whisper confirmed it.
‘Lolita?’
Nice. More to the tale, I can't wait!
DeleteGood title. Great description in heightening the scene. Tight writing nad a good last line.
DeleteI loved the short, crisp language that kicked off this episode, Sandra. That really got the blood moving.
DeleteWho is this new and daring character that Raven finds so familiar? And why such animosity? For an introductory character, this young archer packed quite a punch.
Deletebeware archers, they seek targets everywhere - good one, Sandra!
DeleteSo much tension in the description of the archer, in her & the bow! I'm quite curious about her connection to Raven, and his 'involuntary whisper' suggests she means something to him.
DeleteThe Librarian
ReplyDeleteThe serial killer known as the Librarian had struck again.
This time, along with the severed digits, he left a first edition of Nabokov’s Lolita. As usual there was no corpse. The victim was identified by his fingerprints as Anthony Vermont, recently found not guilty of forcefully seducing young girls with the aid of Rohypnol.
The detective assigned to the case furtively devoured the remains of the evidence and wiped blood from his lips as he selected a novel from his extensive collection, appropriate to the crimes of his next intended victim.
Sometimes you have to take the law into your own hands - or so our detective thought. You make a good case for his actions, David.
DeleteJustice might not be legal, but that doesn't change what happened. A very good story, David.
DeleteNice tightly-woven tale which was ... ahem ... very novel in its approach to the prompt words. A book title appropriate to the crimes of a victim. What an intriguing concept. This would work wonderfully as a serial.
Deletelovely gory piece, David.
DeleteThis both original and intriguing, and yes, thought-provoking as to what next?
DeleteQuite the striking description of the detective when he 'furtively devoured the remains of the evidence and wiped blood from his lips'. I'm very intrigued and can't help but wonder, like the others, where will this lead?
DeleteSometimes vigilantism is, if not encouraged, at least understood. Bravo David!
ReplyDeleteRegessit Dudlius
ReplyDeleteWomen found him irresistible. Precocious Lolitas. Geriatric grandmothers. All fell victim to his undeniable charm. He wasn't furtive about conquests either. He had a gift and knew how to use it.
Young females had little to offer after initial passion was spent. And single mothers grew way too dependent way too quickly. But elderly widows? Now that was a different story. Particularly those who had married successful magnates.
They cheerfully (even gratefully) satisfied every whim in exchange for his attentive company...and far too humiliated to say anything when he disappeared after clearing out their six digit (or more) bank accounts.
A real cad, this fellow! I loved the way you described his three types of victims, Patricia.
DeleteAn all to true happening. You told this very well.
Deletea lot of truth behind this one, no one knows how many victims there have been of these con men. Brilliant portrayal of an all too familiar scenario.
DeleteWonderfully satisfying use of digits, and excellently set up story.
DeleteI loved the contrast between the Lolitas and 'geriatric grandmothers'. It always fascinates me (and saddens me, depending on the victim) how certain people can pull off cons.
DeleteWANNA BET?
ReplyDelete“Tuesday Weld was Lolita in Lolita, right, Randy?”
“I don’t think so, Anna.”
“Then who? Carroll Baker? Patty McCormick?”
“My guess is Sue Lyons.”
Anna scoffed. “You can’t be serious! She was too young when that movie was made. Wanna’ bet?”
“Our usual bet?”
“Of course. Unless your recent loses have turned you yellow.”
Randy furtively clenched his fists. They still hurt. “You’re on, Anna.”
A Google check had Randy grinning. “Sue Lyons!”
Anna cringed and put her left hand on the table. The pinky and middle digits were missing.
Randy raised the knife. “Which one, Dear? Index or ring?”
Nicely done. I love that Google was used to check the name of the correct actress. It brings the entire story so current. Seems Anna is about to lose yet another finger that will go the way of her pinky and middle digits.
DeleteThe ninja of old and maybe new, did the same when they failed a mission. It does limit how often you make such a bet. It was nice that he gave her the choice. Good story, J.D.
DeleteAnother nasty contender for high placing this week!
Delete'nasty contender' indeed. Shocking in its credibility.
DeleteNasty and shocking, and oddly believable.
DeleteDeath in a Window
ReplyDeleteHer dress looked Elizabethan. She’d told me it was a Sweet Lolita dress. I had nothing furtive in asking her to a late lunch. I knew why. I let her choose the place. She asked what I did and agreed to let me show her.
“I’m a street window designer.”
“Like in the movie Mannequin?”
“Pretty much.”
I didn’t need the hat, but it added something. The white lace gloves were so dainty, covering her digits.
Her horroscope was correct: ‘People will stop and stare at you tomorrow.’
Oh man, I used two R’s. Always had a problem with spelling.
Very smooth, David. Such a casual approach to a startling ending. Very nice!
DeleteTook me a minute or two to get the significance of that final line. Nice one, Jeffrey!
Deletethis cleverly leaves a lot to the imagination and still manages to convey its inevitable ending!
DeleteJD, my thanks for the compliment on my writing. Being compared to the quality of Dave's writing is indeed high praise.
DeleteStriking and clever. Though the window itself isn't described, the scene is vividly laid out in my head with the descriptions of the girl's clothing.
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 181 - Out Of Sight...
ReplyDeleteWith the misplaced coquettish air of a middle-aged Lolita, Violet pushed her refreshment trolley along the platform toward the Station Master, who noted her determined approach with a resigned sigh. He could count on the digits of one hand the number of successful escapes ever made from the cloying presence of the former canteen waitress.
On this occasion, however, Poppy buttonholed her sister before Violet reached the intended target, which enabled the Station Master to achieve a furtive withdrawal.
"Violet! Where have you been?"
Violet offered Poppy a mug of steaming tea and a Chelsea Bun.
"Do I know you?"
---------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
----------------------------------------------------------
Oh, mysteries here - do I know you? so casual a question, a whole world behind it. Poor Station Master, he doesn't know what's coming... (no trains, for sure!)
Delete(Last night's comment failed to appear!) This evoked a sense of terror I found quite painful. and that 'middle-aged Lolita' an inspired choice of words.
DeleteActually I'd love a Chelsea Bun with tea. The mystery is why Poppy interviend. Very good story.
DeleteVery curious with the final line. She doesn't recognize her sister? I loved this line - 'He could count on the digits of one hand the number of successful escapes ever made from the cloying presence of the former canteen waitress.'
DeleteUnion
ReplyDeleteFurtive gloom-light slips as seductively as Lolita
Into the void and, caressing the spine of darkness,
teases sleepy day into rising, damp, pink,
and hard, against the dexterous digits of curled clouds
that roll and buck, restlessly as spurned lovers,
against the amorous attention of night.
And as the growing tremor of light builds below the bud,
a sprinkle of stars spark in and out with euphoric gasps
matching the repeating thrust and pull of unrequited lust
swaying in broken shadows where night and day come together.
Such a beautiful and evocative use of language, Terrie. I read this over and over.
DeleteDouble-entendres superlative here. And rich in sensation.
DeleteLovely visual stimulation, I enjoyed the first and last lines the most.
DeleteI both envy and admire the creativity that composes such a beautiful piece. This is evidence of a true talent.
DeleteStriking and evocative, to be sure. This piece is filled with lush imagery like 'Furtive gloom-light slips', and 'a sprinkle of stars spark in and out'.
DeletePenchantress
ReplyDeleteRumour was that Lolitas aplenty inhabited the remote town. Maxwell didn't bother to hide his enthusiasm. No point in being furtive about it. Pubescents were his passion. Everyone was well aware.
Such a selection! Maxwell was spoiled for choice.
He finally plumped for a provocative poppet with Titian ringlets and libidinous green eyes. Anticipation prickled from the roots of his straggly hair to the littlest digit of his crusty toes.
Saliva dribbled onto his chin as he followed her up the stairs.
Blood dribbled from every orifice (some he never even knew he had) when he followed her back down.
Nightmarish.
DeleteBlood horror...well written!
DeleteYay for new words 'libidinous'! I gagged a little at the description of his 'crusty toes'. A nasty but excellently written piece. Such a striking contrast between him following her up the stairs, and then back down.
DeleteSo deliciously wicked, Patricia! The third paragraph in particular is masterfully written.
ReplyDeleteThat's one way of dealing with these predatory men! A very good one, too.
ReplyDeleteStop the Week; I Want To Get off (39)
ReplyDeleteI entered the digits of my PIN – done it a thousand times – was asked if I needed more time… that’s when you feel old. I looked furtively around, no one had seen. I punched it again and got my money. It’s been that kind of week, Shaun resting, (van fixed, BTW) the oddest things selling, carved bone been in the shop for five years at least, going through donated books (no Lolita, all dinosaurs) getting rid of the battered ones. Books don’t sell, sad to say. I feel dislocated, everything to be right again. Shaun apparently feels the same…
Twice this week I've unintentionally given people a mobile phone number which is half mine and half my husband's. Hope things improve with the longer daylight.
DeleteI'm sure you've been told and maybe even thought but this just might make a good book, Diary of a Shop Lady. That said, these slices of life reflect so well on you.
DeleteJeffrey, my book, By 'Royal' Appointment, has been written, published and is being sold in the shop right now - I'm sure I've mentioned it! No, a diary of a shop lady would not work. What I've done is picked the highlights from the first five years, the steady growth of the shop, the outstanding items we've sold (including an 8' remote controlled yacht and a complete, as in no teeth missing, sawfish bill) and the outstanding nonsense we have had from customers. My current favourite is the young man who wanted to buy the electric heat gun, went to get the money from the ATM, came back to say he'd just realised he couldn't buy it as there isn't an electricity supply on the site...
DeleteI too feel something of the sadness that books in their original form no longer sell as they used to. There was nothing quite like the excitement I felt when younger by entering a bookstore to find that one of my favourite authors had come out with a new title and to carry that package home savoring the anticipation that came with opening the cover and inhaling that unique scent. Many readers around today never have and never will have such an experience. Kindles, etc., for all their convenience and usefulness simply don't offer the same delight.
DeleteI have moments where my passwords completely leave my head for a long, annoying moment. It is sad about the books. I often wish I could open a bookstore near my home, but I simply don't have the time.
Delete@Patricia Despite having a Kindle myself, I often buy physical books, because I agree, the experience and delight is not the same. Nor the smell. :)
The Mad Italian 98
ReplyDeleteIt worsens all the time. No one now has their digit on the pulse of the Tory party or any sense of frustration among the electorate. They go about their furtive business with all the finesse and arrogance of ageing Lolitas which gains them nothing in the sight of the people, the ones they tend to forget put them there. Meantime there are many decisions to be made, control of knife crime, control of drug distribution, creating safe roads and giving local authorities sufficient monies to avoid cuts. None of this is happening. The road leads to despair.
ALL politicians tend to forget who put them there. "...all the finesse and arrogance of ageing Lolita's..." A very good line.
DeleteAnd when Leonardo considers a road on the way to despair, we should all take note. He is not without wisdom or expertise, that Mad Italian.
DeleteA striking and fitting line 'They go about their furtive business with all the finesse and arrogance of ageing Lolitas'.
DeleteThis is a mirror reflection of our Congress, Antonia. We, I fear, are going downhill fast.
ReplyDeleteThe Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #171
ReplyDeleteThe Short Answer is No.
God, I hate public spaces.
Everyone expects some kind of fragile Lolita. I’m not even female! Long hair, slim digits, the occasional furtive glance, and off they go.
I’m no doll. I’d sooner raze this town than go to bed with anyone. Why is that so hard to understand?
Lolitas have no agency. I have knives.
Sharp and well-honed as, no doubt, the knives themselves are. You use sentence length so effectively.
DeleteI always love a character with a sharp knife. :) A strong line 'I’d sooner raze this town than go to bed with anyone'.
Delete