Friday 13 July 2018

The cat sat on the mat

Halfway through my first judging read-through, I received an email from Theresa May but, too busy to read it, I deleted it. Then thought she might have liked to help, because for the love of me I could not find any sort of criteria which would help me decide on a winner. So many greedy attention-grabbing opening lines. So much vivid imagery underlining the horror therein. 

In the end I went for the one that grabbed me on first read, just a little harder than the rest: Chris Allinotte’s glass hearts. Truly, this week you all excelled yourself and I found myself tempted to hunt around for three supremely bland prompt words, but guessed you’d turn even them to nastiness.  So ...

Words for next week:  grease tautology yawn

Entries by midnight Thursday 19th July, words and winners posted Friday 20th

Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and use of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media you prefer.

121 comments:

  1. Congratulations, Chris. Well deserved. Your story was a wonderful read.

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    1. Cheers, Joe - glad you liked it. I enjoyed yours as well - had some problems posting comments last week.

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    2. great story. Chris, congratulations!

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  2. Jeffrey here and tip of my hat for Chris on his excellent story. The rest of you all offered up some rather great stories as well.

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  3. Below

    "Pure tautology." He mumbled.

    "Just say redundant. Stop using five dollar words, Lloyd."

    He yawned but his face, greasy with sweat, betrayed him. I moved his chair closer to the edge.

    "You don't have to do this." His eyes implored after catching a glimpse at what waited below.

    The thrashing in the water was impressive. The crocodiles were in a feeding frenzy from Lloyd's severed foot that I had tossed in.

    "Yes, we do." I rocked the chair a bit. Lloyd screeched.

    "I told you for the last time that was my parking spot."

    I gave him a shove.




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    1. Yeuchh! How nasty! And horribly well depicted.

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    2. Messy but enjoyably well written.

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    3. Pretty horrific stuff, RJ. The casual way the severed foot was mentioned really set the pace.

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    4. Some people just don't know how to confront road rage - or is that parking-lot rage? Others do. This was a good read, RJ.

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    5. John said it well- the casual description of Lloyd's foot definitely made me shudder. Not a good way to go!

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    6. this is almost topical, there are more problems over parking than there are over driving offences! nasty cold protagonist here, chilling.

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    7. Loved the little hints along the way as to where this was going but even so, that reveal came as a bit of a surprise. Perfectly understandable, but a bit of a surprise nonetheless.

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  4. Casual Behavior

    “Goddamn, Kenny, it’s tautology 101.” She ignored my yawn. I wasn’t about to tell her I didn’t know what that meant.

    “You have no clue, do you?” I shrugged and she went on. “You really should crack a book now and then.”

    In hindsight, I should have disposed of the body another way. The meat grinder was exciting but I guess some of her DNA was found in the shop sink’s grease trap. Since then I’ve looked up tautology and I guess I have been in a bit of a rut. The trial should provide some much needed excitement.

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    1. Casual violence too - you do the laconic tone so well, then lace it with meat-grinders.

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    2. This could be an episode of Black Mirror. Nice use of the prompts.

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    3. I enjoyed the casual tone of the final paragraph and how it gave us a glimpse into the killer's mind. My curiosity is piqued!

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    4. Very nicely executed and, as already mentioned, done with such a casual air about it. Might we hope to be in attendance at the trial, mayhap?

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  5. Good job. Would love to see that trial in a future story. Lol. Tautology was a challenging word this week lol.

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  6. Change of focus [290]

    Intending to cover an incipient yawn, Pettinger went to raise his hand. Felt resistance at his elbow. Assumed it accidental and tugged. A voice in his ear persuaded him otherwise. ‘Yanno. This way.’
    Filip. His one reliable Khakbethian contact, who’d helped him extricate Aleks – newly-planted with a tracking bug – last time he arrived at this godforsaken airport.
    ‘Why?’
    ‘You want to grease the palms of corrupt Khakbethian cab-owners –‘
    Pettinger laughed at the tautology. Asked about Filip’s family. Looked out the window.
    ‘Where are you taking me? This not the way to Valdeta’s –‘
    ‘She’s moved –‘
    ‘And Aleks?’
    ‘Also.’

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    1. I like the way this is going. Should prove to be interesting. I like the 'Where are you taking me?' line in the middle of the small talk.

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    2. I'm always intrigued by how every episode unfolds. I loved how you described his arm being tugged by Filip.

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    3. tension nicely slid in around the prompts, almost!

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    4. This situated us perfectly for what is to come which (as always) is surely going to be entertaining, enlightening and enduring in its telling.

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  7. Good writing and an enjoyable story, incipient yawn was nicely placed.

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  8. The Secret Armadillo Soldier (SAS) Diaries - entry – Sarg In Charge


    Screaming-Hairy had never seen such a contraption.
    Her engineers examined the plundered apparatus and, oblivious of their never-ending tautology skills, all expressed similar terms of bafflement.
    Nigel yawned and shrugged. ‘Well, I dunno what it does Sarg. I never saw it workin’. It was locked and guarded when I.. “borra’d” it.’
    Sarg thought, twisting her greasy chin-hair between grubby forepaws, and the glimmer of a plan formed.
    She whispered a new mission into Nigel’s ear.
    Nigel’s eyes widened. ‘You’re crazy Sarg, brilliant, but crazy.’
    ‘The ‘Varks too, Nigel, we’ll need ‘em.’
    Nigel nodded, but left the burrow shaking his head.

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    1. So full of delicious promise this one, sets us on the edge of our seats awaiting next week.

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    2. Great use of the prompt tautology and the other two. A very good cliff hanger to end with. An enjoyable installment.

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    3. Can't wait to see what's brewing and see how the 'Varks play into all this. I liked the 'terms of bafflement' line.

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    4. Your tale holds me captive with expectation, Terrie. Can't wait for what's next.

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    5. I love the characters in this rich and fascinating world, and especially how you described Sarg with 'twisting her greasy chin-hair between grubby forepaws'.

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    6. this is developing so well, making believable characters out of armadillos, who'd have thought it?

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    7. This just gets better every week. The momentum is growing and I am delighted to be along for the ride.

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  9. Very nicely done, Chris. Congratulations for being top of the heap in a week where the pieces submitted were totally outstanding.

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  10. Coming to my senses? [Threshold 213]

    Raven so close, smoky, woody liquorice odour all-pervasive; skin, unwashed for days, gleaming with pain-sweated greasiness, brought me to a shuddering recurrence of neediness which, for the first time ever, spoke of a tautological desire for both sex and procreation.
    I’d never before wished to bear Raven’s child.
    Was it a sign of my increasing maturity?
    Or was I – after weeks of stress and death and danger – going mad? Whichever, all thought of O’Bedrun fled.
    Lifting my eyes to his, I saw he’d read me clear.
    As prelude, I took his still-proffered finger in my mouth.
    He looked away.
    Yawned.

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    1. Sandra, you have a penchant with narration and description. Pain-sweated greasiness was very good.

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    2. Like Raven, now I need a cold shower. Sexy and sad at the same time.

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    3. I can't imagine a more gripping first paragraph. Excellent work, Sandra.

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    4. I agree with John, there was a clever mix of heat and sadness. Those final two lines were painful.

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    5. another tightrope instalment, if you know what I mean.

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    6. I truly never know in which direction Raven is likely to go from one minute to the next. And that is but ONE reason why this serialization always leaves the reader desirous of more.

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  11. So so good. That last part, though, that gets me. Ow.

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  12. Semantics

    The gulf between us yawned wider than ever, no greasepaint capable of covering the cracks. You tried to claim ‘separation’ and ‘divorce’ tautological. I preferred ‘divorce’ and ‘death’.

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    1. Brilliant Sandra . Don't know what else to say. You have captured everything so few lines, yet conveyed so much. Skilfully executed as always.

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    2. Thanks Terrie - these stand-alones either come or they don't - much harder, for me, than serials.

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    3. Wow, Sandra, a real killer story. I see an older woman not satisfied with her young lover's decision to go their separate ways.

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    4. Jeffrey here;
      A story that should be considered for top place this week. Tight, flowing and excellently written.

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    5. This is the best 28-word story I've ever read! Beautiful, Sandra!

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    6. Brilliant and sharp. A powerful piece, and excellent use of 'tautology'.

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    7. so tightly written it's untrue and yet says it all.

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    8. What a lesson in how to drive a point home utilizing an amazingly few words. This is a complete story in and of itself, and I am with Jeffrey in that this surely should be the week's top runner.

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  13. The Nut Lady

    The pigeons gathered near the benches.

    A pair of doves,

    an unusual pear color,

    in the fore of the crowd,

    waiting for the nut lady’s food.

    Her nuts were deep fried in grease,

    imported from Greece.

    None approached the nun

    who sat in her place.

    She yawned, before saying,

    “My sisters spirit flew to heaven this morning,

    she died of the flu. Would you experts in tautology,

    sing your mourning song to help her along?”

    The pale sunlight sparkled on the pail she put down.

    “Here is your food, from my sister;

    The Nut Lady.”

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    1. It seems the birds will have to get used to a new nut lady. I like how the nun tries to provoke the mourning song for her sister.

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    2. Wow Jeffrey what a clever and subtle play on, and with, words you have created. True tautology.
      I read it once, then read it again before the complexity of your entry actually hit me. Pair pear ..grease Greece.. Tautology is peppered throughout so .. so.. cleverly done.

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    3. It had a very poetic feel with the similar words scattered throughout. Nuts for us to enjoy, perhaps? :) It was very beautifully written.

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    4. This truly was a poetic gem and like Zaiure, I loved the similar words woven into the story...and it was undoubtedly a story.

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  14. Casual Behavior II

    They didn’t find the body; just enough residue to implicate me. Who knew they’d remove the grease trap? Everything else was sparkly clean.

    Her father daggered me with his eyes and I yawned. I swear his nostrils were an inch wide.

    When they wheeled in the meat grinder, the entire courtroom gasped in unison. I struggled to maintain my expression, hoping a smile didn’t slip out. I noticed other wringing handed fathers sitting, mothers too; anguished. Sure there’d been others. This was getting monotonous. Definitely, as she’d said, Tautology 101.

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    1. Brilliantly-implied madness in the asides and non-sequiturs.

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    2. Wheeled in the meat grinder. I'm thinking she was killed in a slaughter house. A truly intimidating story. Sorry I missed the opening arguments.

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    3. This was filled with a lot of excellent phrases, like 'daggered me with his eyes' and 'wringing handed fathers sitting'.

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    4. nice one... full of gore without gore being mentioned

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    5. "Casual Behavior" indeed. You are a master of your style. I had to chuckle as the "monotonous" reference. It seemed to fit the character so perfectly.

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  15. Casual Behavior III

    When you run a body through a meat grinder, the texture isn’t as appealing as beef or turkey. It’s gristly and greasy, with bits of bone and hair to deal with. But the dogs love it. It keeps them fat and strong… in perfect fighting condition.

    It’s funny; the inmates aren’t as concerned with murder as they are with dog fighting. You’d think they would yawn and get on with their miserable incarcerated lives. The guards are always busy when they visit, with clubs and sadistic libidos. Tautology 101 it ain’t.

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    1. Good heavens, as if the mince isn't bad enough you have to add 'sadistic libidos'. Truly horrific.

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    2. An extremely engaging journey into deep horror, John.

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    3. If Hitchcock was alive, you just might have a writing job.

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    4. A nasty and chilling piece, with an undertone that made me wince multiple times. Very well done.

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    5. the magazine is still published... go for it!

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    6. Another nice one. This is for sure a many-faceted character that you have created. Horror personified!

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  16. THE WAY OUT

    There is but one way out.

    I had known that fact for quite some time but hadn’t been able to muster the courage to do what must be done until now.

    A tautology of ill-advised choices had turned my life into a greased pole, and my grip was steadily slipping. What’s more, depression’s tenacious tentacles had entangled me and was dragging me ever deeper into a merciless maelstrom of misery.

    I was holding the gun my when my wife walked in. She yawned and said, “A gun? What for?”

    “To free myself from misery,” I replied.

    Then I shot her.

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    1. Heavyweight prelude to a shocking finale.

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    2. I felt the sarcasm in the wife's question and his relief when he pulled the trigger.

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    3. Well, he's free at last, but now's he's equally screwed. Unless he has a cover-up planned. Enjoyable story, J.E.

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    4. I was surprised by the ending, nice twist! There was a lot of interesting phrasing that I enjoyed, like 'turned my life into a grease pole, and my grip was steadily slipping' and 'depression's tenacious tentacles'.

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    5. What a perfect matter-of-fact final line. Amazing use of the prompt words, each to its full advantage.

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  17. 42 years later....

    “Ghisml Ykzor Talen.” The video ended.
    “I’m Brandon Umbra, I won’t be tautological by repeating what you just saw.”
    He held up his hands, five fingers and no thumb. The reporters were silent, riveted on his hands, not a yawn in sight.
    “I don’t have Holt-Omar syndrome. Humans share between 99 and 99.9% of their DNA. Chimpanzees 96, gorillas 94, mice 92 and yeast 26. Mine is 99.1. The lady was my birth mother and by virtue of the 14th Amendment, I’m declaring my candidacy for President of the United States. This shouldn’t be too greasy to figure out.”

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    1. At last, a qualified candidate, with or without oppossable thumbs.

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    2. An interesting turn for this story. I'm curious how it will play out! Rare for reporters to be silent too. :)

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    3. To echo Zaiure, this was interesting indeed. "Five fingers and no thumb" is an intriguing prospect for a candidate.

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  18. Slip-Sliding Away

    His hands slipped on the grease-slick rope and the rough hemp cut his palms like thousands of tiny wooden splinters. He dropped a few inches before he tightened his thighs.
    Exhausted, he forced his eyes open. To sleep was to die. The words usually had unrelated meanings, but this time they combined in a perfect tautological statement. He climbed the rope to escape the hungry cave bears. He hadn’t slept in two days. Over a hundred feet to the top. Sleep was death. “Just keep climbing,” he thought.
    He climbed ten more feet and started to slip downward. He yawned.

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    1. Fascinating use of the prompts to construct a solid and complete tale. Welcome to you. -

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    2. The cave bear waiteth. Very creative little tale. Who put him on the rope is the question...

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    3. Very enjoyable story, perhaps the rope was there and not lowered to him? I hated climbing a rope like that in school for gym.

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    4. Climbing rope is no joke! A creative and tension-filled story. I'm also curious where the rope came from.

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    5. good little piece. Look forward to more.

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    6. Oh what a perfect closing line. So, did he drop? Did he manage to stifle and continue? It's questions like these that are so better left unanswered.

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  19. I fear for this fellow's safety. A very interesting use of the prompt words.

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  20. Have visitors this week so likely will not be posting, but I will be back later with comments.

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    1. Oh dear, visitors can be SUCH a nuisance, can't they?

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  21. “It was a dark and stormy night…” He began, as lightning illuminated the darkened room.
    “Yaaaawn” she replied, patting her gawping mouth for dramatic effect.
    After a pause, he began again. “Her boyfriend and lover’s body…”
    “Great” she opined with eyes rolling, “First plagiarism, and now tautology. I love you, husband, but as a story teller, you fall short. (In more ways than one)”
    And she is right; I am not much for fiction. But I was great at confession, as it were. Now I just had to wait for the truth to grease her fear. Ah, there it is…

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    1. Witty and skilfully structured, Dave. I love the final two sentences.

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    2. Thank you Ma'am! I am trying to get the structure into an over-stuffed form, where it says more than the words.

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    3. This is excellent writing, Dave! "Grease her fear" what a great phrase!

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    4. Very good story Dave an yes non-fiction describing the wife. Good use of the prompts.

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    5. I did not see that coming, well done! I enjoyed the contrast between the characters, and the atmosphere was perfect.

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    6. He does seem to be a little lacking in getting that opening line right, but she had to go and say so in such a mean way... very entertaining, Dave. I enjoyed it.

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    7. you're providing great reading, Dave, thanks!

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    8. This was a delightfully intricate piece that built, little by little, into a magnificent reveal. Very nicely constructed.

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    9. Thank you Zaiure, John, Antonia and Patricia. I do love making these small offerings, and being amongst such high caliber fellows keeps me working hard to do my best!

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  22. I was working with the Earl of Warwick on his life story (and does he have some illuminating and exciting comments to make on being in power - if you remember he owned half of England and employed 30,000 people back in the 15thc we are talking serious power and serious money)when Leonardo arrived and in the space of a few minutes gave me exactly 100 words, encapsulating the political scene at the moment here in the UK. His intellect never fails to astonish me. Here goes...

    The Mad Italian 64
    In your modern technological age you have many ways of greasing a palm, surreptitious bank transfers of money not needed but ever welcome and enables people to sit and yawn at their online bank statements and have none of the niggling worries of those they were elected to serve. The current nonsense of plans for Brexit are fraught with tautology and wrong thinking whilst a president tours certain countries and spouts wrong thinking. There seems no end to the difficulties heads of state can create when allowed to ‘be themselves’ – they all need guardians but who would guard the guards?

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    1. An enjoyable and thought provoking story and you used niggling! Your talk about the Earl of Warwick had me thinking of, perhaps, the two of them 'discussing' things for a few episodes.

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    2. On point, as always. I love the phrasing of that final line.

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    3. I wonder which spouting president Leo is referring to? Can't be ours, can it? He talks of guarding the guards. I've always wondered about guards, especially in movies with evil villains. Where do they get all these feckless people?

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    4. Jeffrey, the Earl has his book to write, around the Politicians book I am busy with at the same time, so right now I am better off working with one author at a time... things could get confusing otherwise. Leonardo was master of many genres and talents, the earl was master of most of England. There's a big difference... (LOL)

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    5. As insightful as ever. I particularly liked the notion that there are "many ways of greasing a palm." How true that is and what a wonderful usage of the prompt.

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  23. back later to comment! possibly tomorrow, it depends on My Lord Warwick... I am but a servant of spirit...

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  24. Thanks for the nod Sandra - the competition between these stories is as fierce as their authors are supportive of their fellows! Great stories all around.

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    1. You indeed deserved to enter the winner's circle last week, Chis!

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  25. Rendal

    Cass was regretfully introduced to the feckless Rendal the following day, when she was compelled to firmly dissuade an errant hand on her backside with a few choice words, and a firmly-wielded dagger.

    He was greasy and unkempt, with long, blond lashes that fluttered and clumped around his bloodshot eyes. Apparently given to ear-grating tautology, Rendal babbled endless excuses and apologies, until Cass cut him off with a firm wiggle of the blade.

    “Sir,” she said, narrowing her eyes as his mouth gaped in a silent yawn. “Perhaps your energy would be better spent on catching the Red Lady’s killer.”

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    1. In Cass's place I might do more than offer 'a firm wiggle of the blade'. Especially enjoyed the 'errant hand'.

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    2. What a wonderful continuation. I do hope we get to know much more of this lady known as Cass.

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    3. Very well written, good flow and prompt use. I'm debating if Cass would use a dull or sharp dagger?

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  26. Gotta love a woman with a dagger. I hope Rendal is better at detecting than he is tactful. Well done, Zaiure.

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  27. this is razor sharp and a joy to read.

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  28. The Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #138
    A Two-Part Title


    For some reason people assume Natasha is governed by tautologies. They don’t see that flying yurts can be flying ships of war or perhaps a nosy sideboard. These same people are blind to the grease-stained handkerchiefs that cover my yawns and my months away from the castle. What do they expect from a pirate princess?

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    1. A touch more surreal than ever - and the pirate princess ever-inspiring and entertaining.

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  29. Zaiure, I am really loving this story arc! Thank you! And I am from Northern Ca as well!

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  30. As always a tightly written, enjoyable and a different POV on Tautologies.

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