Looking forward to the variety of top places
choices and to catching up next week
Words
for next week: divide model speak
Entries by
midnight Thursday 24th May, words
posted Friday 25th
Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash
fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror,
fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as always, welcome.
All variants and use of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links
to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media you prefer.
Arghhhh... How hard is choosing just one when all are so well written and contain such varied hooks to draw the reader in, but I keep coming back to 'Nothing'. Clever crafted, mysterious with a hint of horror. Who among us would not want to see what nothing looks like. I know I would be there with my hand on the door knob waiting to find out.
ReplyDeleteI choose ' Nothing.'
My offering for this week’s prompt words
DeleteThe Secret Armadillo Soldier (SAS) Diaries - Entry 5 - Back To Base-Burrow
Never a model soldier, Armi constantly ignored S.A.S rules regarding familiarity among operatives.
Atlas was steadfast to the point of stupidity but Armi enjoyed the company of the uncomplicated giant. He saw the book in Atlas’s tool-belt as they trekked back to base-burrow.
‘It’s a book to ‘elp yer speak betterer Atlas.’
Atlas chortled, ‘Gotta learn t’ read first, Armi. Gonna use it t’ wipe me arse wiv.’
Chuckling, they divided the pages between their tool-belts.
Reporting in at dusk, they flashed their ‘dillo-tags, and scuttled underground.
Atlas ghosted away into shadowy darkness: His parting ‘Gud luck,’ was not inspiring.
This could so easily be a cool book series.
DeleteDo I have a vote? If so, it would be for Sandra's CHANGE OF FOCUS because of the great dialog.
DeleteGreat use of the prompts, Terri, and some splendid choices of verbs (trekked, chortled, scuttled, ghosted).
DeleteTerri, this is a wonderful interaction between Armi and Atlas. Well done.
DeleteFirst, I love the names of the soldiers, and really enjoyed the easy camaraderie between them. My favorite line was 'Atlas ghosted away into shadowy darkness'. Such a beautiful image.
DeleteThis is a prime candidate for a graphic novel.
Deletedefinitely agree this could be a novel. Hope you've got the instalments safely stored.
DeleteThanks for the comments , I am seriously thinking I could develop Armi and the SAS diaries more. The instalments are written on a weekly basis as the prompt words arrive at present.
DeleteI do have all the ones written so far, safely stored on a usb stick and have also been sharing them on my fairly new blog page too.
A graphic novel would be great for this
DeleteArghhh is right. Very hard to choose. JE's Nothing was good, David's The Salon was good, heck , they were all pretty good, but I choose Pain, by RJ Wayne.
ReplyDeleteI choose "Nothing"
ReplyDeleteOrphan (Part 1)
ReplyDelete"Speak..."
She blinked. The large almond-colored eyes took everything in, processing at incomprehensible speeds. "Hello. I am Orphan."
She was one of the most sophisticated models of androids available. She had cost me a pretty penny. Hell, a lot of them actually.
Being an "everything-phobe" and divided from the world was limiting though, and anything to help overcome it was worth a shot.
Orphan looked at me and a playful smile emerged.
I slipped my headset on and smiled back at myself as I looked through her eyes.
"Are we ready?"
You have my curiosity at full throttle, RJ. I want more of this captivating tale!
DeleteVery interesting opening and an unusual end, with him looking at himself. Nicely written RJ.
Deletelots of intriguing detail captured in these 100 words RJ, .... I also want to know more
DeleteThe android is becoming quite the compelling character. Like others, I too await to hear more. Love Orphan's playful smile emerging.
DeleteOrphan is an interesting character right off the bat, and I'm very curious to see what they're going to do next. Compelling name as well.
DeletePart 1 of what promises to be a fascinating interaction and 'getting to know you'
Deletelovely build up here.
DeleteFrom the undocumented Journal of Surgical Foibles
ReplyDeleteThe super plus size super model whimpered and struggled at her restraints. She tried to speak but the doctor stuffed a wad of soiled gauze in her mouth.
“Thank you, my dear, for choosing our innovative surgical weight reduction program.” The little man arranged his implements.
“I see here,” he said, snapping on latex gloves, “that you failed to check the anesthesia box.” He shook his head. “A bold choice, I must admit.”
“I will start to divide you up now.” He picked up a gleaming scalpel. “You will achieve your targeted weight loss in no time at all.”
Sadistic and evil. Nicely done. Bold choice, indeed.
DeleteQuicker that a weight-watchers' diet, eh, John? Great dialog ... nicely done.
DeleteJohn, this lends a new meaning to slim fast. Enjoyable dialog and no issues with me envisioning the scene.
Deletewith words such as whimpered, soiled gauze and images of snapping on latex gloves this was horror expertly presented.
DeleteBone-chilling! I love how you titled the piece, very inventive. Terrie also called out all those excellent words that set the tone. Soiled gauze is never good.
DeleteAs ever, and as mentioned above, the precision with which you use words is as scalpel-sharp as this forthcoming operation promises to be. Chilling indeed.
Deletethis is just flat out great!
DeleteAll magnificent tales last week, but for its sheer unique voice, my vote goes to J.E.'s Nothing.
ReplyDeleteNo tales from me this week. My 13-year old doggie passed away this morning and creativity has completely gone out the window. I probably won't comment either. Hopefully, I will return in a week or two. Everything is still just very raw right now. At least he was at home.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this, trust you'll find ways to help you come to terms with it; thirteen years is time enough to build a strong relationship.
DeleteSorry to hear about your dog, Patricia. Thinking of you.
DeletePatricia, my condolences on the passing of your family member.
Deleteoh Patricia, so so so sad for you. Take all the time you need - I read a few weeks ago that the grief after losing a beloved animal is often worse than of a person, they are so much a part of our hearts and minds.
ReplyDeleteIt's good he was home with you, in the place he loved with people he loved. Stay strong.
Been there, Patricia. I know it is difficult. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThe Sound of Silence
ReplyDeleteThe Torturer General had engineered a policy of divide and rule.
He'd neutralised the orphan through painful silence. But others had regarded it as a model of rebellion and taken up its dreadful song.
He, in turn, had taken the tongues of the singers and pitted those who could still speak to hurl insults against them.
It worked for a while. Riots and suchlike.
But now they’d found common ground against a common enemy. The vocal gave voice to the silent. The sound of their ire was a lion’s roar, swamping the music that filled his salon.
So smooth, David. Well-crafted and punctuated by stunning images.
DeleteNeutralized through painful silence is a very good line. A level of mystery as well.
DeleteNice David. It looks like trouble may be looming for the villain. I liked the title too. Have you ever heard that song as performed by Disturbed? Really powerful.
DeleteOh yes, that Disturbed version. And, for me, the 'Riots and suchlike' - so coolly laconic - pointed up the power of the rest.
DeleteI love the Disturbed cover of Sound of Silence. The guy's piercings fascinate me so it adds even more to my appreciation of the song and video.
DeleteAnd I love this - the vocal gave voice to the silent.
I also thought the title was very fitting, and I loved the build silence to a lion's roar. The final line is beautiful and powerful.
DeletePoetic in its language, intriguing in the story that unfolds.
DeleteFREAK
ReplyDeleteAt 21, the woman was stunningly beautiful – a fashion model acclaimed the world over. Then came the disease. Something so rare and savage that it had no name and no cure. Her face twisted into a grotesque mask, her bones thickened and warped, and her muscles knotted into bulging tumors.
She became a freak, divided from humanity by her unspeakable affliction.
She now lived in the seediest part of town and left her squalid room only at night when hunger drove her to the streets to prey upon lost souls foolish enough to venture out.
Freaks have to eat too.
Historically, Genghis Khan and the Plague were considered a punishment from God for their sins. What where her sins? Very good story, J.E.
DeleteI love freak stories, and this one didn't disappoint. Your descriptions of her transformation were really good.
DeleteInteresting - and clever - how this aligns and re-aligns my sympathy.
Deletemulti layered - very clever.
DeleteI really enjoyed how 'freak' introduces so many emotional hooks and arresting images. Really well written JE.
DeleteExcellent descriptions describing her transformation. I loved the line 'divided from humanity by her unspeakable affliction' - beautifully written, and sad.
DeleteNice. Certainly could be the set up of a longer piece.
DeleteChange of focus [283]
ReplyDeleteThe following week Pettinger divided his attention between gathering evidence about the slurry pit body and preparing his defence against a charge of murder.
Tattoos identified both dead women as Petzinceks; a family whose inbreeding coefficient of ~32% implied a determined modelling on Greek mythology. Pettinger had been unfazed to discover he’d bedded an alleged aunt but suspected the prosecution would speak of it with jury-influencing muted horror, which would rebound all the harder on himself.
None of which aided identification of the unknown pregnant lass. Next step was to publish a photograph in the hope that someone recognised her.
It's been a while since I read about Pettinger. Loved "inbreeding coefficient" as much as his indifference to what he'd done. Very good story, Sandra.
DeleteCan you imagine having the aunt thing hanging over your head, knowing it would soon become public knowledge? As well as being well written and enjoyable, this one kind of sums things up for me and solidifies Pettinger's innocence. There were a few times when I was thinking, maybe he had something to hide, but not now, I believe.
Deletetwists and turns, more twists, more turns...
DeleteI know I have only recently been introduced to Pettinger but I'm hooked.
DeleteNever is a lull for Pettinger. I'm intrigued by the tattoos, and loved the phrase 'jury-influencing muted horror'.
DeleteStill new to Pettinger but interesting. There are other installments?
DeleteI vote for 'Nothing' as well. I loved how the story unraveled and its mysterious atmosphere.
ReplyDeleteLike blood from stone [Threshold 210]
ReplyDelete‘Carlotta. Your wife? Once-wife? No-longer-wife?’
‘Paper-wife. Not consummated.‘
‘Because? Skin divide too wide? Your black, our white? Similarly repugnant?’
‘Not... repugnant. Not you.’
‘No?’ He’d at least managed two nights non-stop sex with me. Followed by ten times as many empty promises – hardly a model of besottedness.
Such small consolation left me struggling to speak. ‘She died, Carlotta?’
‘...No.’
What then? Left? Still here? Haunting the attic? You poisoned her; she turned to stone and is planted in the garden?’
‘No.’ Raven’s guilty laughter acknowledged I was getting warm. ‘But she thinks I am –‘
‘What?’
‘Buried in the garden.’
Very nice, Sandra! I loved the quick, engaging back-and-forth conversation.
DeleteEnjoyable with very well written dialog.
DeleteNow the widow thing is coming out, whew. Quite a skilled bit of dialog here. You have a way of getting the pauses and innuendos across so nicely.
Deletecrafting storytelling dialogue is an art form. You've conquered it.
DeleteI totally agree with all the above comments Sandra. Masterfully executed.
DeleteExcellent back and forth between the two characters. I enjoyed her guesses and that final, humorous & telling final line.
DeleteLove the exchange between characters here. Great dialogue.
DeleteEntombment’s Perception
ReplyDeleteWhile pollinating my brain,
images dance at vision’s edge.
Lightning demons and ghosts arcane,
spring from my mire, recently dredged.
Inhumations illusion, a mystifying feat,
we delude ourselves; it’s Maslow’s fault.
Delivered complete with a bow so neat.
We don’t recognize the compilation so gestalt.
Flittering through life, like we’ve a grand purpose.
Deadlines and timelines are finite.
Is life a three ring circus,
or an evening news highlight?
What model divides dark from light,
controlling voices that speak?
Dreams are future’s foresight,
nightmares the pasts critique.
Sun’s rays warm my wings
fluttering between flowers,
pollinating things
with my superpowers.
Nice to have you back, Jeffrey. And with a nice little bit of poetry. The rhythms and rhymes were really good and the story flowed well. Great entry.
DeleteOne of your superpowers, Jeffrey, is to write lovely poetry. This is a very good read!
DeleteYou totally captured me with this Jeffrey. Flowing, elegant, and full of wonderful imagery.
Deletegood to see you here again and with such a good poem, too.
DeleteBeautiful imagery throughout, and I loved the pacing of this piece.
DeleteTherapy
ReplyDeleteI can see the twitch beginning in the thick of your brow, as your eyes tighten and narrow. Your lips part, purse, then close. You decide to stay silent, and drum your fingers on the beer-stained coasters dividing the space between us.
You’ve modeled a therapist’s face of support and understanding for so many others, that you default to it automatically with me, despite how unnatural it is between us.
I speak first, and smile around my words. “It’s true. I kill people for money.” I adjust the gun beneath the table, as awareness bleeds the color from your cheeks.
You had me poised in expectation of I didn't know what ... but suspected it might be nasty. It wasn't, not for me, because the deed so smoothly-written. Especially like the 'smile around my words'.
DeleteThis is really good. You don't reveal the sex of either character, but I picture the victim as a middle age man hoping to get somewhere with the pretty assassin. You put this picture in my head so skillfully and I applaud that. Nice piece.
Deletecold observations for a cold profession. Very very well done.
DeleteThis, Zaiure, is a splendid piece of writing! You grab the reader's attention right from the "twitch" and hold it right through the marvelous ending!
ReplyDeleteBeer-stained coasters is well, wonderful. It also brought up a scene in my mind were Han Solo did get shot. I enjoyed how you set the tension with her doubling as narrator..
ReplyDeleteThis piece expertly shows how to set a scene with an economy of words that has it all. Brilliant imagery, tension, a hook that leaves you wanting more...... I am left wanting to know more about these characters and their lives Zaiure. Skilfully done.
ReplyDeleteThe Mad Italian 56.
ReplyDeleteThe divide is ever there. All are professed to be servants of the people, the parliament said to be the best model for democracy there is, a place where anyone can speak – and so they can, provided it is within the strictly prescribed limits set down by the Speaker who thinks and feels he is beyond reproach when calling a member ‘stupid’. The campaign for equality of women and men is well under way, the campaign for people not abusing each other in speech has a very long way to go.
Unfortunately, there will always be some small percentage willing to abuse others. A sad but well spoken sentiment.
DeleteSeamless use of the prompts, and a thought-provoking piece. The first line, 'the divide is ever there', is powerful, and sets the tone.
DeleteIt does seem there is no end in sight for the great divide, regardless of your location.
ReplyDeleteUnited We Stand, Divided We Fall
ReplyDeleteFine sentiments, he mused, but impractical. We’re never going to be united with the common man, too coarse, too uncouth, too ignorant and –
Why go on? We know what the Great Unwashed are like, mere peasants. A terrible role model for the little ones arriving by the hundred, or so they say. From babies to toddlers to peasants in no time. Let them speak? No way! Who’d want to hear the mutterings of the illiterate? We are divided by more than collective thought. We, not they, hold the keys. And the weapons.
I can't help but feel sad reading this, and wondering what horrors might take place as the divide deepens. Powerful writing, as always.
DeleteIt's true, shepherds will always find a flock to lead.
ReplyDeleteStill not even in my own time zone, but I'd rather post than not.
ReplyDeleteThe Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #130
White Lies and Foresight
Time to divide up the crew. Georgiana and Cleopatra are off to a ‘diplomatic’ dinner, Teddy, Elle, and Zehra to support Roxie’s and Hex’s budding model company. Natasha and I are summoned to the Council to speak a truth of our activities. Hopefully this next week will be peaceful, but who really knows?