It seemed to me that last week’s
words were used and abused with an inch of their blameless lives – an
exceptionally entertaining crop of stories with the emphasis strongly on the
horror. With the usual result that it was extremely difficult to pick a shortlist, never mind a winner. The one I eventually chose – Emily’s ‘Exorcism’ – was because there
was much in it I felt uncomfortable with. So thank you for that, Emily, and for taking the trouble to comment –
a vital part of this site’s activity. I doubt I’m the only one who hopes you,
like Scott and other recent new contributors, regularly visit.
Words
for next week: divorce mongrel Victoria
Entries by midnight Thursday
6th July, words and winners
posted on Friday 7th
Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of
flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of
horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as always,
welcome. All variants and use of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to
post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media you
prefer.
And what of Victoria? Her pestilent bosom bent down to suckle the evil of this world with a lack of aplomb, of grace, of style?
ReplyDelete"BE DONE WITH HER!!" my father screamed as he divorced himself of all civility. "Damn that wretched mongrel to Pluto's realm and return to us as a man blooded!"
My knife hadn't the style to gleam in the gaslight as I bowed to his will.
and sorry for the lack of showing up here recently. had an argument with my workplace I.T. department over getting internet out
Deletenice little nasty piece!
DeleteThis story had grit - I like grit. It also has eloquence, which I'm not all that familiar with but I know it when I hear it.
DeleteRead this several times and went away so bemused and amused I forgot to comment - sharp and poisonous, and I like the opening question..
DeleteAs already noted, a particularly nasty little piece that was both gripping and expertly composed. Lovely descriptive touch with the knife.
DeleteThe gaslit images this conjures remind me of the Ripper! Well done!
DeleteWorthy congratulations to Emily for a most creepy little tale...and a cute one for all that! I have a busy week coming up so may or may not be checking in with any submissions. Regardless, I will return on Thursday with my comments.
ReplyDeletecongratulations, Emily! Superb writing.
DeleteWell deserved, Emily. I really liked this one.
DeleteCongrats to Emily for that superbly done story.
ReplyDelete(Okay, so I lied, but this came to me in about a minute and a half. And it probably shows but anyway...!!!)
ReplyDelete-----------------------------------------------
By Appointment
Divorce of obligation from sentiment is part and parcel of the commission. Derogatory jeers of "cur" or "mongrel" or "bastard" from the excitable mob cannot be allowed to interfere with duty.
Sympathy is often misdirected.
And somebody has to be Queen Victoria's primary hangman.
Short and sweet. And yes, you lied :-)
DeleteA lie only means that sometimes it's easier to ask for forgiveness than beg for permision. Reguardless, your extremely short, vignette's are very good
DeleteI love the 'just another day at the office' attitude applied to such a strange occupation. Good reminder that everyone has their perspective and issues. Well done.
Deleteexcellent :)
Deleteneat nastiness!
DeleteA minute and a half well used.
DeleteVery cool little piece you have written here. I think this is a unique take on the prompt words, and I really enjoyed it. Well done.
DeleteBurning for You
ReplyDeleteLast year, Samantha had slipped into Victoria’s room and switched places; I took Victoria to Sam’s place, dressed her in jogging clothes, and then dropped her down an old well, replacing the planks. Victoria recovered, her twin went missing; no divorce and Charlotte isn’t a mongrel.
The Gallow Hills, Independence Day Barrel Burn, the flames crackled red, white, and blue. We saw human faces. One spoke with Victoria’s voice.
“You’ve both done wrong and know it well.
Minds of tortured guilt, this spirit’s spell,
Until thy secrets out, you’ll be eaten up.
When you come clean, this hex will drop.”
no hex ever drops ~_^
Deletetoo strange for me, Jeffrey...
DeleteI don't think anyone's coming out of this unscathed. Pretty wild story.
DeleteOh man, I had to double back to piece together your intricate plot. I think the best thing an artist can do is require close attention. Well played.
DeleteThis is so interesting to me. I'm not even sure what to make of it. I had to read it a couple times, like Scott. There's a lot going on here, and I want to know and read more of it. I really liked the lines, "We saw human faces. One spoke with Victoria's voice."
DeleteThis was undoubtedly unique and interesting, but I'm not sure I fully understood the message. Regardless, loved that poem at the end.
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 103-Point Of No Return
ReplyDeleteViolet had dreamed of trying her hand at a Victoria Sponge one day. Lack of supplies, however, now made that seem unlikely.
Since the Canteen had closed and she was alone, the waitress felt divorced from what might be taking place elsewhere at the Junction. Then again, she'd always been an outsider -- a lowly mongrel whose heart's desire was to be a member of the elite pack and constantly falling short.
Violet emptied the tea urn and turned it upside down to drain. She exited through the rear door marked "Pantry" (and sometimes "Asylum").
It locked behind her.
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To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
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Oh - I can hear the melancholy, portentous soundtrack to this - definitely sounds like 'Farewell, Violet'
DeleteSo nice and sad, like the perfect sunset, that ends the perfect day. Maybe "A Farewell to Arms", has a ring to it...Oh, that one's taken. This one sounds like the inmates are running the asylum.
Deletethat's one way to get out of ones mind
Deleteoh nice one, the door sealing her off from the world, poor thing. Or had she really had enough of it it all?
DeleteI wish she'd had the ingredients for the sponge cake. Now I'm wondering if she entered or exited the asylum. Either has its drawbacks.
DeleteKursaal (Episode Seventy Seven) -- "Pick Of The Litter"
ReplyDeleteDaisy's pups, undoubtedly mongrels of dubious parentage, were...with two notable exceptions...nonetheless cute as proverbial buttons. The Doberman cared nothing for her offspring and divorce from the little squirmers came as a relief. She was obviously not cut out for motherhood.
Against the advice of his sister, Cinders (The Convivial Clown), Crow adopted the pair of uniquely deviant littermates. He was rather taken with the aniridia eyes, bristly coat and irascible temperament. An aficionado of Victorian poets, he named them "Algernon" and "Dante."
He would train them well.
---------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
'aniridia' - what a useful word!! - thank you. And thank you for this - I'm trusting we'll see more of Crow?
DeleteYes, new words, so will Cinders duke it out with Pennywise? Anirida is a devishly cute word. Love the prompt use and the hints at what is and might be.
Deletetrain them very well :)
Deletenice one, wrapping the prompts up beautifully.
DeleteI think Daisy sensed the pending evil and turned her back on the litter. Every word you used to describe the pups really hammered the wicked home.
DeleteSeems I was able to contribute after all. These three came rather easily, which probably means they are total rubbish, but at least I'm maintaining my track record while still meeting other obligations and inching ever closer to termination of Cripplegate. Much like Arnold, "I'll be back" on Thursday (if not before).
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, 'easy come' is a small reward for regular practice. Which is not to say those finally wrenched on Thursday afternoon aren't as good.
DeleteA suggestion I had recently and have been using is to prewrite my Kandar stories and then edit/revise for the three prompts. The outcome is what matters, exemplary writen stories, with, at times, some most unusual prompts.
DeleteI never have the faintest clue where my next episode is going, sometimes even up to 50 words in. Personally, I'd find it hugely stressful trying to fit random words into an already-written piece ... but I always have been happy writing to prompts - guess it's my reactive mind-set.
DeleteBedtime
ReplyDeleteMom cradled me in her arms like a gutter brimming with sludge. My body sagged, head caved in, ponytails matted with gore and bits of my skull. Willy, the cowardly mongrel, my new friend, and the reason for papa’s rage, hunkered nearby.
“Oh Victoria, my baby!” Mom wailed. She turned to papa, “You monster!”
My father stood over us, blood splattered knuckles at his sides, look of angry, ignorant terror leaving his gaunt face as his senses returned.
“Jeepers,” I blurted from above. Only Willy noticed me, so I asked him, “Do you think now they’ll finally get a divorce?”
What a vivid image conjured up by that first sentence!
DeleteVery good imagry, which leads to nice setting for the story. Very well done.
Deletethis is intriguing, there's a depth to this that I would like to see explored.
DeleteI get this out-of-body feeling from Victoria. Really cool concept.
DeleteI honestly think this is spectacular. I'll echo Sandra in that the first line immediately hooks me and provides a super strong image that promises good things to come. You don't disappoint. I also agree with Antonia: this is just the beginning, and I think this is something you could definitely expand since there's so much going on in the setup. Truly great writing.
DeleteOn the surface, this seems so simple until you start to peel away the layers. No doubt at all about the effectiveness of the hook. The image created was vivid and as already mentioned, I do believe this could easily be the beginning of something much more expansive.
DeleteKandar 17: Play the Game Tonight
ReplyDeleteI splashed the Countessa Victoria’s perfume on me and proceeded onward. I knew I was being watched. A large mongrel wolf-dog came into my sight; it sniffed the air. Smelling the perfume it was confused. It smelled its mistress but didn’t see her. I don’t take chances. I hurled ‘Suffering’. The wolf slumped to the floor, paralyzed yet bleeding. “Zevat”, I whispered and ‘Suffering’ returned to my hand.
You’re mistress will take the divorce personally.
Two suits of armor turned their helmets. I worried, then heard, Pass. The writing above:
A familia locum legere et pro omnibus familia buti.
I like the image the turning heads of the two suits of armour conjures up.
DeleteNeat trick with the perfume.
DeleteI'm definitely with Sandra on the two suits of armor image, but I think you've fallen back a little into the habit of rushing with this one. For example, "you're" instead of "your" could so easily be corrected with a quick read through prior to posting. We're not here to critique...and that's not my intention...but a final review often catches many of those tiny errors that can often detract a tad. I was intrigued by the (presumably) Latin phrase at the end but couldn't seem to find a translation. I'd be very interested to know what it means.
DeleteTranslation: A place to read, and on behalf of all the family A family of control.
DeleteWhen halfway up a ladder, the bottom seems closer that the top ever will.
Altered perspective? [Threshold 169]
ReplyDeleteAppearances being deceptive, Raven, for the polish of his ivory skin, his perfectly-proportioned body, aped pedigree, while the dun-brown mongrel lumpiness of Law Man; his ill-mannered insensitivity, appeared far divorced from the legitimacy of his blameless parentage.
Not that, nigh on two centuries since the pre-Victorian Lamarck launched his theories, such considerations limited one’s thinking nowadays. I took my sudden interest in genetic inheritance to be further evidence I was already pregnant.
Which, perhaps, was also why Law Man’s insistence on beginning his purge of Cathra’s offspring with Cathra’s latest litter – the still-mis-proportioned puppies barely weaned – caused me such pain.
Enjoyed 'mongrel lumpiness' and her concern for being with child.
DeleteYeah! I love the whole first sentence, each new word builds upon the last, adds to the effect and with rhythmic direction. Fabulous composition.
Deleteanother outstanding instalment.
DeleteHow the words tumble so expressively in these stories. You must be exhausted.
Deletespins us around, then slams in a dunk :)
DeleteThis was so lyrical and flowed like a running stream. For some reason, I'd pictured Raven to be a dark-skinned character. Perhaps my association with the name? I do believe this could well be one of the best "Threshold" installments to date. And that is saying something...!!!
DeleteChange of focus [242]
ReplyDeleteHaving never met his biological father until he was nine, Aleks assumed himself to be mongrel. Discovering John Pettinger had been born Yanno Petzincek had been a moment of joy, instantly divorcing him from the terrors of his arrival in England – confusing Victoria coach station with Underground line; concern that King’s Cross was but a joke.
That Yanno loved him in return he did not doubt. He understood Yanno was a busy man. Just wished he would see Aleks could look after himself; needed nothing more than a home.
But that was before he saw Yanno beneath his mother.
Crying.
And yet another beautifully composed piece. You are on a creative brilliance roll this week, Sandra. Those little snippets related to Aleks' perception of England are absolutely priceless. And I adore the "swagger" that he can look after himself.
DeleteWow. I honestly don't know what to say, but I am so honored. It's difficult to find (and make) time for creative outlets throughout busy weeks filled with full-time job duties, but I was introduced to this blog and thought I could make it work. I am surrounded by many talented writers, so to be recognized for my writing feels wonderful. I plan to stick around, and I look forward to seeing what this week's prompt words will conjure. Thanks to everyone, again.
ReplyDeleteLet me try again.
ReplyDeleteIt's humanizing scenes like this, very well done but alas somewhat forgotten in our quest and drive for action to entice the reader into our stories. Heros might be much too narrowly defined.
Perusing the small print
ReplyDeleteDISENCHANTED-BY-PEDIGREE DIVORCÉE, 39, SEEKS MONGREL HUNGRY FOR ADVENTURE.
‘She saying she’s a dog?’
‘Nah. Posh bitch wanting a bit of rough –‘
Grin widened as he brought his pint glass to his mouth, ‘Rough I can do –‘
‘She don’t necessarily mean use your fists –‘
‘What then? Tie ‘er up and suchlike? Whips and kinky boots?’
‘You got any kinky boots?’
‘Only what I wear for work. And they’d need cleaning –‘
‘Get her to clean them. Use her tongue –‘
‘Then stick it into me mouth? Not bloody likely!’
‘S’pose not. Same again? ’
‘Victoria Bitter. Ta, mate.’
i could actually picture this conversation :)
Deleteme too!
DeletePriceless piece. The wording in the classified ad was perfect.
DeleteWhy we shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Excellent dialog. However, just what would happen if he answers the add? Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly.
DeletePieces like this always amaze me because I find dialogue writing to be so difficult. And here, you do it expertly in a way that truly sounds natural. Kudos! Plus, it's funny.
DeleteThis brought a chuckle from virtually the title on down. I love dialogue pieces that work and this worked to perfection. Adore the image of wearing "kinky boots" to work. (Wondering what type of work that might be now!) As already mentioned, so easy to picture this actually taking place at the local boozer.
DeleteThe Mad italian 12
ReplyDelete(this has come in part because I am watching a series about Victoria, my friend records them and we watch one every Monday night. Leo was obviously there.)
I find great interest in your television programmes about history; I find great interest in walking the royal places here on this island. Many disregard history, believing it to have no message for us in this time but I say it is impossible to divorce ourselves from past happenings, for they dictate much of what you do and have today. They might be a mongrel collection of laws, but they come from history, from people like me. The programmes about Victoria interest me; I would like to meet her. I think we think the same about empires.
Does the Mad Italian have a little crush? I love how you have brought modern day life into this series while maintaining his unique attitude.
DeleteVery enjoyable and you do a terrific job with historical perspective and the prompts. I do look forward to these vignettes.
DeleteI was especially delighted by the 'mongrel collection of laws'.
Deletethese are not my writing, remember that. Leonardo drops by when he can to pass on words of wisdom, which is why this particular series is so very different in voice and feel to the Captain's saga on the high seas. If I find a stand alone it's my writing. If it's the Mad Italian, it's Leonardo Da Vinci's words. Today he was dropping 'told you so' messages to my publisher/friend. I love the man, he's such fun to have around.
DeleteMy world is crammed with people, BTW, I only mention 1 or 2 of them from time to time. It's the flat out fun of being a medium who works with spirit all the time, even though there are many who would change this if they could. Not sure if that's through jealousy (I hardly got the word typed before I got YES to that)... so I won't pursue that thought. I know they're there, I know the help I get 24/7, I know the comfort of having spirit companions at all times. It's beyond description.
To begin, if you are watching the same "Victoria" series as I recently did, then I hope you are enjoying the experience as much as I did. (Anxiously awaiting the second season at this end.) Now, to Leonardo's observations for this week. I think he's spot on regarding a shared mutual interest about empires with the Widow of Windsor. These musings are not only interesting but also insightful. I look forward to each installment every week. It's one of the highlights...although, truth be told, this forum holds many of those.
DeleteCanine Intuition
ReplyDeleteThe divorce hadn’t gone well. He stepped out of the limo and roughly shoved the chauffeur aside. He tramped up the steps of his former Victorian manor and pounded on the front door.
“Open the goddamn door, Armida.”
“The missus ain’t home," said a muffled voice from within.
“I’m here for the mongrel.”
“The missus say Dakota stay with her.”
“Open the door or I’ll drive the goddamn car through it.”
The door swung open and a growling yellow lab bounded out and sank his teeth into the man’s throat, ripping flesh. The maid and driver watched idly and did nothing.
Someone didn't make a lot of friends in life. An unexpected ending the only twist being to his throat. Nice use of prompts.
DeleteI always admire laconic understatement, and this passive observation was nevertheless vivid.
Deletenot what I was expecting :)
DeleteYes, I agree, definitely not what I was expecting, but I love any time violence is just sort of tossed into a story, and I think you do a good job with it here. Also, I love the line, "Open the door or I'll drive the goddamn car through it." Made me laugh. Nice little story you have here.
Deletevery nicely done, so much hatred and general angst crammed into a few lines.
DeleteReturning for the dog. Yup, I can see myself doing the very same thing. The ending was a total surprise, I must say but I loved the nonchalant attitude of both the maid and the driver. Nice little package this story.
DeleteEyeless
ReplyDeleteIt didn’t have eyes, not in the traditional sense. Two of them—one milky and green, the other yellow and pus-infested—seemed to have divorced, occupying opposite sides of the mongrel’s face long before it emerged from its mother’s womb. One searched for light, creating a whirlpool of muddy iris water. The other, dead. The thing sat spotlighted in a broken chair. The grandfather clock chime of its voice box chanted “Victoria” like a canticle, luring me. It grabbed my face and plunged its switchblade fingertips into my own perfectly normal, married corneas. It laughed, slinging spittle into the wounds.
Shudderingly horrible. Well done.
Deleteclickity clack, snippity snap :)
DeleteAfter I read your nice comment for my story, I saw yours below and thought, oh God, I hope I like it. Not to worry, I love horror and this is horror with a capital H. Such vividness.
DeleteI like how effectively you set the scene before you bring in the action. The specific details you choose are what makes this so chilling. I fill in the rest around the grizzly picture you paint, and then when the action comes, I feel we work together to creep me out. Your writing has a natural, hand-holding quality that makes it super effective.
DeleteOh my..."Twilight Zone" and "One Step Beyond" and all those other little horror vignettes could easily accept this tale. That chime of a grandfather clock added much to the ambience and yet, appears at first to be no more than a throwaway. Yet another "above the bar" tale this week. How Sandra is going to make a selection is totally beyond me!
Deleteoh gross, and how sharply gross it is too!
ReplyDeleteThe Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #84
ReplyDeleteIt’s Always Something
While flying over the lovely blue Forest of Victoria, province of Elsena, Land of Fire, I noticed the two bits of railing had become divorced again. Maybe it’s time to replace them. The forward piece especially has acquired quite a mongrel appearance, what with all the bits of rope and sail I’ve used to rejoin it to its partner. We ought to land in the next clearing and I’ll see about finding a suitable tree for replacements. At least we don’t have any silly passengers this time.
I find choosing an apt title sometimes harder than writing the piece itself and this is especially admirable. As is your ability to write seamless continuations every week and always in Rosebud's voice. Well done.
Delete