Given the challenge of a word limit, I invariably find myself
treating it as the target, rather than simply ensuring I don’t exceed it. Not
everyone feels that way. This week there
have been two absolutely stunning entries which are less than a hundred words, and which, thanks to precise and perfect writing, do the job with jaw-dropping
effectiveness. Hence I’m handing congratulatory laurels to Chris, whose ‘Abominable horizons’ ran to 83 words, and Patricia for her ‘Blank canvas’ which was
a mere 38 (Rosie’s late entry, at 68, is another good example.)
Thank you too, Kai, Antonia and Zaiure, whose entries
all seemed to hit a peak of brilliance, and to everyone for commenting. Fingers
crossed next week’s words do a similar trick.
Words
for the coming week are: dulcet, bluff,
patina
Entries by
midnight Thursday 4th February new
words and winners posted on Friday 5th
Congratulations to Chris for a worthy win. That's some hodgepodge of prompts this week. I for one am going to have my work cut out I think.
ReplyDeleteYou too! Great entry.
DeleteChange of focus [163]
ReplyDeleteDolly’s bedroom. Cleaner than anticipated; redolent of soap and thin rubber. Pettinger tried and failed to detect any sort of patina left by what must’ve been several thousand men through there; no echo of their orgasmic groans, nor of Dolly’s less-than dulcet encouragement.
As, through tears, her daughter (who’d followed in Dolly’s footsteps) confirmed. ‘God knows, some of them try and bluff it, others needed a cattle-prod, but she always got them there in the end!’
‘You’ve no idea who –?’
‘Doubt it was a punter.’
‘No point in checking condoms for DNA, then?’
‘Last week’s bagful’s not gone yet.’
The matter-of-fact delivery is what makes this come alive. Gritty and gripping!
DeleteChris summed it up nicely - gritty and gripping indeed! Loved how you used 'patina'.
DeleteWhat a fetid picture in 100 words, you hooked me in at "redolent of soap and thin rubber" I love that word. I've got to go clean our bathroom later not sure I can shift this story from my mind.
Deletegreat down to basics episode. Waiting on the continuation...
DeleteTotally and utterly delicious. So many little references that invade the imagination. For some reason, the name "Dolly" seems so appropriate. And that fact that she "always got them there in the end!" How priceless is that?
DeleteKursaal (Episode Six) -- "Jasper Joad"
ReplyDeleteThe arrival of Jasper Joad with his Ghost Train and Haunted Mansion was cause for celebration. What Midway would be complete without such staples?
Beneath the deceptive patina of the marquees and less than dulcet melodies emanating from within, Jasper's rides were basically bluff and bluster. However, this knowledge did nothing to deter patrons. After all, the desire to be momentarily scared witless is inherent in the human condition.
"No Entry" signs peppered the interior of both attractions, barring public access to certain areas. And for good reason. Regardless, these warnings had often been ignored, much to the detriment of any interloper.
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To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
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Sly and wicked in its ending - and superb use of the prompts.
DeleteI like this one. It could be taken at face value, but hints at something far more sinister.
DeleteI'm enjoying this series so much! Love the tease at the end about 'certain areas'. You are skilled at dangling just enough of a description to make your reader's imagination flicker madly. Love it!
DeleteI must read more of this, as Chris said this piece has sinister hidden depths
Deletelots happening in what seems like no more than a description, it's more subtle than that, it plays on the senses. It's all there, the hinted at menace.
DeleteInstrumental
ReplyDeleteEven through the distorted glass, the aged patina of the brass suggested the item would be authentic. A few dulcet notes from the expert lips of a would-be buyer confirmed the notion.
The pawnbroker, a bluff and hearty fellow with red hair, had been in possession of the instrument for longer than memory served. He was only too happy to unload the waste of space and let it go for a song.
Leaving the hock shop, Gabriel tucked the horn under his arm. Sounding of the last trump was now assured.
How fertile is your mind! This is magnificent, perfect and so very you - lovely indeed, Patricia (and impossible to pick out a favourite phrase).
DeleteThis is really clever. I want desperately to know how Gabriel came to lose the trumpet in the first place.
DeleteClever story! Loved how we find out about Gabriel at the end, and I'm also curious how he lost it!
DeleteI love the way you used bluff to describe the pawnbroker, I have a very vivid image in my mind of this character from those three simple words.
Deleteoh tis good, so it is! Gabriel needs must hang on to the trumpet this time...
DeleteSo loving this series, I fear the final trump.
DeleteCongrats Chris & Patricia!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteThank you so much, Zaiure. These days, placing in the winner's circle is such an accomplishment given the high quality of the works here. I think I just got lucky.
DeleteEnthrall [7]
ReplyDeleteQuindar’s dulcet voice hummed across her left bare shoulder, as Morgan sat in her bath. Pursing her lips in irritation, she cursed the failed wards. A sideways glance detected a large green beetle, almost indistinguishable from the patina on the tub’s rim. For a moment, she considered flicking it into the water and watching it drown.
“Enjoying yourself, pet?” Quindar said through the enthralled bug.
“Still skittering into places you’re not wanted, I see.”
His laugh flushed her skin. “I’m told you have dal’Shashar. A bluff, perhaps?”
“Scared, Quindar?”
“Amused, but I’ve let you play off leash for too long.”
Magical! "His laugh flushed her skin." says it all.
DeleteWhat does a bug's laugh sound like? (Not being critical - it's a neat image. :) ) Really atmospheric piece here.
DeleteHaha I was thinking more his voice was just tied to it in some way, versus using the bug's sound capabilities since they lack vocal cords, but definitely a curious consideration and hilarious mental image. :) Thanks!
Deletethis is clever, the images it conjures go on and on!
DeleteMagnificent writing and I just adore the fact that the color of the beetle was almost indistinguishable from the tub's patina. This has such an Eastern flavor to it that I almost want to go grab a Fry's Turkish Delight.
DeleteI certainly need to go back and read the previous episodes, especially as the writing is so good.
DeleteHiatus [Threshold 99]
ReplyDeleteThe ease with which Burk’s father bluffed the would-be marauders into believing no intervention necessary suggested Hoarthorn’s authority had been usurped. I wondered aloud whether I’d done such damage as to to render him dulcet-toned castrato, but both men said not. Nor should we rely on such an interpretation.
Burk’s father took us to a boathouse he claimed they’d not discovered, provided us with food, salves and bandages.
Two days before the scumbled patina of damage – scabs and bloody encrustations – erased itself from Ravenscar’s body; having heard of Hoarthorn’s invidious methods, he’d returned. Been ambushed and beaten, eight to one.
So much action here. "Dulcet-toned castrato." *wince*
DeleteExcellent quick pacing and evocative descriptions. Loved how you used 'patina' to describe Ravenscar's wounds. Clever!
Deleteanother first class instalment -vivid imagery.
DeleteI often find myself lost for words when trying to comment on your tales. This is one of those times. However, I will say how much I loved the idea of a "dulcet-toned castrato."
Delete"I'd done such damage as to render him dulcet toned castrato" made me wince and snigger in one foul movement. excellent writing.
DeleteLittle Boy Blue
ReplyDeleteCarly sat at the edge of the bluff, trying to see where the sky took over from the ocean.
In her lap, the dusty music box wound down. She remembered fighting with Jacob over the toy, each claiming it as a gift from Grandmother.
Without looking down, Carly’s fingers wound the key. Dulcet music played, and the little bronze bear, wearing his patina jacket of green, turned and turned again.
With a scream, she flung the thing away, and watched it tumble end over end to the rocks below, tinkling all the way.
What sound had Jacob made, she wondered.
Enjoyed this on many levels, especially being reminded of a dulcet-toned musical box I had as a child. And the pleasantness of memory scoured by that final, awful line.
DeleteBeautifully awful, with that chilling end. This scene is exceptionally written, with beautiful phrasing throughout. Loved the first line.
Deletejust the sort of ending I like so much... killer line after the innocence of the music box.
DeleteSo nasty....so deliciously nasty. I don't know what age groups we're talking about here, but my imagination conjured children. And that made the images so much more...nasty. Lovely piece of impactful work.
DeleteNo pun intended here , but the last line resonated with me, quite chilling.
DeleteLove the pernicious nature of this piece. Living near to Beachy Head this made me shudder.
DeleteThe Immortal 27
ReplyDeleteHer dulcet smile enthralled me once more and all I could think of was what she would be like in bed, a patina of sweat glistening over her body. The only question was, how could I bluff my way into her pants?
She expected me to redeem myself, the protective touch that saved me from another run-in with Death had apparently also restored part of my inner good, part of my soul. I didn’t realize there had been any left. Though without her touch what little she had restored was gone again. I can’t say that I miss it.
What a fascinating character this has become, that last line promising so much in the way of wickedness to come.
DeleteDefinitely a fascinating character, as Sandra said, and it seems he might not redeem himself in a way she expected.
Deletethere's a lot going on under the relatively innocent tone of this episode. Nasty goings on at that. Waiting on more...
Delete"The Immortal" always leaves me wishing that the word limit was way beyond 100. Love the idea of a waxing and waning soul dependent upon a touch. Can't wait to find out which conflicting character sitting on the shoulder is going to win out.
DeleteAgree with Patricia - a variable soul is an extremely cool idea.
DeleteThe Diva Scorned
ReplyDeleteBehind the door of number 43 nobody would guess what’s going on. Sandra exudes a patina of a normal life. Under her carpet when it’s rolled back tight is a secret door that leads to a spiral staircase to a place where she lives her real existence. The dulcet tones of 70’s disco drowns out the cries of every man that ever let her down. The mirror ball spins like it did in 1976, in her head she is dancing, it’s a bluff. In the real world her ex-men are strapped to chairs begging for the pain to stop.
Welcome tinysmallfry! And what a cracking start, "ex-men" suggesting several thoroughly nasty thoughts.
DeleteWicked, nasty and gorgeous.
DeleteChris summed it up nicely. Engaging and chilling piece, and I love how you set the scene. Definitely don't want to be on Sandra's bad side!
Deleteoops, just realized our host is called Sandra. Sorry Sandra, I just picked a random name.
Deletegood to have a new writer with us and with an imagination like that ... enjoy this a great deal. Thanks!
DeleteSo, come into the arena with guns blazing, why don't you? Excellent piece with a lovely twist. The imagery of a dungeon type disco is very vivid. I'd love to know exactly what she does to cause such pain and a rather malicious part of me cackles at the notion.
DeleteThe Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess # 10
ReplyDeleteA Trick of the Mind
The dulcet tones of the school bell reverberated through empty halls as Rosebud, Abby, Char, and Natasha ran to class. Their classmates were seated primly parallel facing the cloud of chalk dust that was their teacher. They slid into their chairs exclaiming “Sorry we’re late, the dog got out and it took forever to find her!” (Wait, what dog?)
The cloud paused for a moment, then resumed scribbling.
“We’re discussing the differing patinas of clay teapots from India and China.”
“You must be bluffing, this is Calculus, right?” (Natasha?)
I awoke to find myself in my hammock on Natasha’s deck.
Another delightful, clever and entertaining piece. And how reminiscent "seated primly parallel facing the cloud of chalk dust that was their teacher" making so vivid the scene.
Deleteyes, with Sandra here, painting the scene with a few words so vividly I could almost see the chalk dust.
DeleteAs always, your writing comes with a very distinct uniqueness. I could actually see this as a scene from a "Harry Potter" film. Great descriptions.
DeleteThe text is as dreamlike as the subject matter. Fun read!
DeleteChange of focus [164]
ReplyDeleteThe contrast between the bluff, be-whiskered and weather-beaten face of the pathologist and the sterile whiteness of his surroundings never failed to cause Pettinger a twitch of amusement. Dolly’s evisceration expunged it, as effectively as the screech of bone-saw did the dulcet Mozart twiddles he usually had playing.
‘Strangulation cause of death, but she’d tried to fight him off –‘
‘Definitely “him”?’
‘The belt.’
Once toffee-coloured leather, now bent and blackened with a patina of sweat, body-grease and blood.
‘No woman would wear that. He never intended to leave it: the blood’s not Dolly’s and there’s DNA of other victims.’
[Apologies for a second Pettinger, but that belt wouldn't leave me alone.]
a second Pettinger is always welcome, especially when the episode is as vivid as that!
DeleteApologies for a second Pettinger? No complaints from this quarter if you gave us a dozen or more in one week. There is something very lyrical about "dulcet Mozart twiddles" and the prompts definitely found a well-covered place to hide.
DeleteVery nice of you, on the contrary - to feed more detail to the intrigue without another week to wait!
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 31-The Signal Box
ReplyDeleteMarmalade padded up the staircase to the Signal Box, nosing open the door. Long abandoned, a thin green patina coated the levers. Here, the cat had been born along with his siblings. He remembered the deep dulcet purring of his mother and the contented mewling of the kits.
Upon the wall, a sepia picture of children playing Blind Man's Bluff was draped with cobwebs spun by a fat spider who wiggled its eight legs as it scaled a silken thread. At the window, a bright-eyed rook watched the spider's progress.
Marmalade's tongue licked the air. The bird nodded in agreement.
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To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
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Lovely scene, I can see the dust motes in the air.
Deletethis cat is delightful, nasty delightful at that.
DeleteI love that you end on such subtle, delicious tension.
DeleteThere is something strangely warm & comforting about a purring cat.
DeleteInfinity 132.
ReplyDeleteTis hard not to display how I feel, tis all bluff and bluster to pretend I am the tough pirate and not the thankful person I be. Even the seagulls seem to have dulcet tones. We draw close to yet more islands, they glitter under the evening sun, a patina of gold on their wings. I would be wishing sometimes I could fly like them.
First Mate asked what the smell was in the hold. I said food gone rotten and get someone to clean up. He went but I think he disbelieved me. Tis his problem, not mine.
I always look forward so much to installments featuring our Captain and this week was no exception. Some truly beautiful descriptions here: "patina of gold on their wings," is probably my favourite. Will the ship anchor close to the islands? And if so, what will they find there?
DeleteI just really like this character. Methinks you've got the workings of a good sized book here!
DeleteI sense, amongst all this lyrical description, the Captain is suffering a moment of self-deception, since he rarely seems exactly thankful. Await the next episode with anticipation.
DeleteOK, congrats to last week's worthy winners, Chris and Patricia, and apologies for being late again... I always ask the Captain to come a tad earlier, he responds by saying he's too busy sailing the seven seas... but it was his idea to feature in the serial... meantime I am actually (writing) working with Kathryn Howard as I reach the 5th Queen in the book about Henry's Queens. I hope it isn't too much to ask that the muse, having returned after the long periods of grief, actually stays with me.
ReplyDeleteThe shop continues to provide rich amusement and character studies, always welcome. Like the husband who mistook Dennis the Menace for Desperate Dan and was told, very curtly, that he hadn't read the right comics when he was growing up, that the Beano was far superior to the Dandy... I hid behind the cabinet and had a quiet laugh...
I don't know that I'd be able to choose between the "Beano" and "Dandy," to be honest. I just know I liked both much better than the "Topper," due for the most part (if memory serves correctly) because it was larger and thus more unwieldy to handle. Talking of comics, I actually had a letter published in "Bunty" when I was just a little slip of a thing. Where have the years gone?
DeleteI weep gently remembering my brother stuffing his huge collection of topper and Dandy into the arms and legs of the guy he made on bonfire night for his step son, and throwing the rest on the bonfire. It was the early eighties, who would have known.
DeleteThird time lucky after two typo's. This is what happens when you try to push past the bouncers to get a swift one in before the doors shut.
ReplyDeleteLast Orders
Your kiss, was nothing more than a dulcet bluff
to mesmerise and stupefy my rough and ready heart.
I was your hideaway man, with buffoon like honesty,
and the funds to offer a brand new start.
You worked your magic ways until you became my addiction.
but commitment was a oneway street, and your love a work of fiction.
You took all that I had and left a gaping hole,
So that all I have to offer are bitter tears the patina to my soul.
Oh William! No-one else had a "dulcet bluff" - it seemed an unlikely combination - but how heart-breakingly well it works here.
Deletewhoo, this is soooo good. I wish I could write poetry like that. Really beautiful and so sad.
DeleteReally, really excellent, William.
Delete