... from belly-buttons to extremities, feathers to
stiletto and a nyckelharpa to a mark on a hand, for which I thank you all, but
the week’s winner only said ‘it ‘ had arrived - with the hope that it would
work. Antonia’s Captain, of course,
his life taking a momentary upturn in episode 130.
Among my reading this week I stepped into the rarely-visited
genre of long-ago historical. As a crime writer, Manda Scott‘s ability to
describe and give life to her characters was of a calibre that, almost, made me
give up writing. I was curious to see how she tackled the world of Boadicea, and
found myself transported into another world, rather that just seeing extreme facets
of my own.
It occurs to me that well over three-quarters of the
tales here also have that other-worldliness which is why they are so
compelling, with or without the expansion of a serial – and it is always good
to have such generous feedback.
Words for the
coming week are: jacket neutral sand
Entries
by midnight Thursday January 28th,
new words and winners posted on Friday 29th
Usual rules: 100
words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the
three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir.
Serialized fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and use of the words
and stems are fine. Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or
Facebook or whichever social media best pleases you and, if you like, remind
your friends that we are open to new and returning writers.
thank you, Sandra! I had some trouble with that one, but it came right in the end.
ReplyDeleteReally appreciate the comments from everyone. I'll be back later to comment on the other entries, all look startlingly good, as always.
It rains again here on the island, keeping my fingers xxd that it won't keep customers home, the way the bitter cold has done. Back later!
and thanks again! made my morning.
Such a magnificent entry that one, Antonia. I had a feeling you'd find the blue ribbon landing in your backyard last week.
DeleteCongrats!! :)
Deletethank you!
DeleteChange of focus [162]
ReplyDeleteLigature marks around her neck, eyes a demonstration of petechial haemorrhaging and, beneath the matted fake fur of her purple jacket, a bumper crop of blighted damson bruising.
Near impossible, despite her profession, to retain a mindset of neutrality when questioning known punters; though regularity implied more warmth than a one-off.
Directed by the landlord, Pettinger approached Abel Ackroyd, hunched against the wind, hands in pockets, gazing across the damp sand to the horizon. Possibly the wind caused the watering of his eyes but Pettinger thought not.
‘Couple of questions –’
‘Aye. Only six of us left; what’ll we do now?’
So intrigued by the final line, and wondering where that will lead to! And I love the image created by the phrase 'Abel Ackroyd, hunched against the wind, hands in pockets, gazing across the damp sand to the horizon'. Beautiful!
Deleteand what will they do now? so many questions raised in every instalment!
DeleteI love the details and the way this flows. The game is afoot!
DeleteThe phrasing and pacing of this was quite lovely. And as for description of the crime scene, are you sure you've never worked in forensics?
DeleteThank you all - forensics comes courtesy of reading upwards of 500 crime novels over the past five years.
DeleteBlinkered thinking
ReplyDeleteIf a teaspoon of sand takes four minutes to pass through an egg-timer, how much would be needed for nine months? Six even, since I must be three months gone by now.
So stupid, both the conception and my ostrich-headed refusal to fact facts early enough to put an end to it. At times I suspect myself of harbouring a desire to crochet shawls, knit matinee jackets. Eye up the bedroom next to ours, thinking of a neutral, sunny yellow.
But there’ll be nothing in the way of sunshine if it turns out black as the man who fathered it.
Titles can tell so much, and I love what you picked for this! Beautiful phrasing of the final line. It is churning in my head as I try to glean more from this story. :)
Deletethis just gets better as it goes. How do you do that?????
DeleteThis was very powerful. I really have nothing more to add.
DeleteAn almost gentle portrayal of deep, dark fear. Lovely.
DeleteBlank Canvas
ReplyDeleteHere, all is neutral. Beige. Sand. Cream. However you care to define colorless. There are no pictures on the walls. Nothing to evoke memories or elicit emotions.
Welcome to my world.
Please ignore the straitjacket in the corner.
So few words, so much manipulation in that final sentence!
DeleteSimple and powerful. So curious, but glad you left so much to the imagination! :)
DeleteConsidering this week I turned down a 8 page story (the whole thing revolved around a karaoke evening but the author wanted to get his MC there on the bike, talk to the customers in the bar... etc. etc. etc. ) this gorgeous piece comes as relief in the knowledge there are still people who can write with minimal words and maximum effect.
DeleteLoved this. Great last line.
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 30-The Red Queen And The Rook
ReplyDeleteMiss Constance adjusted the peplum of her jacket and adopted a neutral expression. It would not be wise to display an abundance of either elation or triumph in the presence of the Station Master.
"The Red Queen has been found," she announced upon entering the Crossing Canteen.
The eyes of the Station Master narrowed with suspicion. Alice's eyes widened with apprehension. Violet's eyes remained firmly fixed on her accounts. The nib of her pen scratched like sandpaper as she continued to tally the ledger.
"And the Rook?" asked the waitress querulously. "What about the Rook?"
---------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
I read this in its entirety and could not spot the prompt words! Partly because of your smooth use of them but also because this was a wholly compelling piece - and "peplum" a more than adequate diversion. Well done Patricia.
DeleteI agree with Sandra, very seamless integration of the prompts! Loved this scene and the juxtaposition of all the various characters and their reactions to Miss Constance's announcement. Also bravo for 'querulously'. Love to hear words used that I forget about when writing myself. :)
Deleteoh this is good, rich in imagery which this story is all about, conjuring images. Loved it.
DeleteShades of La Carre meets Carroll. Neat. :)
DeleteConversation in a cellar [Threshold 98]
ReplyDeleteRavenscar’s quoting Othello, and my joyous response – evident as a Hi-Viz jacket – shattered our pretence of hostility.
Burk’s father, percipient, more neutral than anticipated, warned me, ‘The charge is one of treason.’
‘Treason? Is – don’t know his name – so powerful?’
‘Hoarthorn. He’ll be judge and jury.’
‘Whore?’
He spelled it. Ice-blue Eyes well-named, if not well-trusted.
Ravenscar, sweat like silver sand on arms and torso, could barely frame the words. ‘Did he... take you, as he threatened?’
Smiling in memory, ‘No, nor will he any woman, for a month or two.’
Pounding from outside the door halted our mutual congratulation.
Excellent blend of humor and dark anticipation. Loved the phrase 'sweat like silver sand on arms and torso'.
Deleteyes, that's a wonderful line. This is a tension filled piece, waiting on the next instalment with impatience.
DeleteAlways intriguing and lends itself to much speculation. To echo what has gone before, I just love the "sweat like silver sand" image. Magnificent use of the prompt.
DeleteKursaal (Episode Five) -- "Primrose Lee"
ReplyDeleteThe Emporium of Enchantments was located beyond the concession stand, amid the aroma of jacket potatoes, turkey legs and funnel cake.
Primrose Lee, proprietor of Artisan Alley's most impressive pavilion, peddled a variety of mystical wares including sandstone piskies and alabaster faeries, but most patrons came in search of her remedies.
Primrose could fulfill any heart's desire for the right price. Being an equal opportunity supplier, she made no distinction between the black and white magicks. However, her profit margin came courtesy of neutralizing elixirs, a necessary evil since bewitchments were fickle and unpredictable and so prone to go awry.
---------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Patricia, I sense that you are having as much fun writing these as we are reading them. I laughed out loud at the equal opportunities.
DeleteSo fun to meet all these very interesting characters! Loved the final paragraph and Primrose's neutralizing elixirs. :)
Deleteit's so tongue in cheek and delightfully light you can't help but get carried along with the story.
DeleteEldaris [6]
ReplyDeleteMore mountain than man, Eldaris Tembe-Aurelius towered over Morgan as she lounged in her chair, however despite their extreme difference in size, the northerner eyed her like one would a winter-starved bear. His odd sand-colored eyes glanced towards Queen Fiaena, standing calmly in a hooded jacket, before returning to Morgan’s expectant face.
“What do you require of Hellthoria, War Mistress,” Eldaris said, tone neutral.
“Quindar has finally decided to move his army against us. The preparations have been made?”
“As requested. Our Sky Mistress has prepared thirty of her dal’Shashar.”
“Good. Wait for my signal.”
“We will watch the skies.”
Oh! "winter-starved bear" and "odd sand-colored eyes" - so very good and descriptive. Excellent episode.
Deleteyes and yes, repeating Sandra's comments, odd sand-coloured eyes is so so good.
DeleteAlmost immediately, scenes that could have been found in an epic fantasy sprang to life. Marvelous descriptions, spot-on dialogue...but then, what else is new?
DeleteInfinity 131
ReplyDeleteIf you had but seen this here cap’n on his knees before the wheel, jacket askew, course held in neutral, offering prayers to the Lord God for deliverance from the devil’s spawn. I went with sand in my pockets to scatter on the rotting bodies in the far hold. And none to see and none to hear how my old heart did beat to find them so. Tis almost enough to order replacing the skull and crossbones with the flag of England. Almost, I did say. Tis still an almost. Still got a reputation to uphold but oh, the relief.
Whatever music you're listening to Antonia, it certainly DOES work. I like the Cap'n when he's got a bit of self-doubt, but glad he knows he's a reputation to maintain
DeleteAnd yet another introspective glimpse into the character of our Captain. Just when you think you know his every facet....
DeleteReally liked the Captain in this one and the line about the flag. He is such a fleshed out character, I always enjoy to listen to his thoughts. :)
Deletebeen a ridiculous week so far, not only the weather but the amount of work I've been doing! A 'dealer' who seems to be clearing some kind of repository has been to the shop 3 times in 4 days bringing tat and good things but all covered in thick thick dust and grime. Only one person to clean it up. Then I fell out with someone who started coming in for coffee and chat and ended up turning up as I did, bringing food and staying all day and getting angry because I refused to allow him to have an office chair to himself - on the shop floor... he hasn't been in since. I have been able to get on with work. You can't do things when someone's just sitting and waiting for you to talk to them. So I have had insomnia working out what I can and can't do on the shop floor, if this happens or that... I've begun the changes, cautiously, it's the terrible domino effect, move that and everything else has to be moved.
ReplyDeleteHeadlines today say we will be working until we're 80... only 8 years to go then... but I can't see me giving it up then if I'm capable of doing the work. I need the challenges!! Rather like this every week. The Captain's instalment has been written against the background of an hour's very emotional music I found on youtube. It works.
Sorry about that visitor! I've often run into that as well, while working, having someone who doesn't seem to understand what I'm trying to accomplish.
DeleteThese days most of my writing is done to the soft roar of my son's baby monitor haha. Would refer some good music! :)
Abominable horizon
ReplyDeleteWe lived in the desert for just under eight months. The days scoured away our good humour and the nights bled away our compassion. Our world was awash in neutral nothing. Our ocean was the sky, and sand our ocean.
I missed colour. Huddling close to the fire near the end, my baked linen jacket crackling around my shoulders, I wondered that more people in our group hadn’t spilled the blood of their neighbour - just to see red again.
Like I had.
Hell ... you really put us there with this. Staccato sentences work so very well.
DeleteOooohhh...did not expect that last line. Magnificently done and nicely woven. Talk about a punch!
DeleteLoved the juxtaposition of color/blood/life and starkness, and seeing the emotional toll on the narrator. Excellent piece!
DeleteWindskipper
ReplyDeleteShedding water from his dark brown pelt with a head to toe shimmy, Benbe slid his arms into a green, sleeveless jacket, and hopped up onto the forecastle of Windskipper. She was a fine ship, fast and soundly built, though his ladylove Pearl insisted she was more raft than galliot. “Don’t ye worry darlin’, she loves you, same as me,” he said, stroking a sun-darkened railing with his paw.
Pearl grinned impishly, keeping her eyes on the water over the bow. They sailed neutral waters, but one touch of Windskipper’s keel to the black sand below and all was forfeit.
Another one of yours which delivers novel size satisfaction in 100 words. Now need to look up 'galliot'. Love the 'head to toe shimmy'
DeleteThis was totally delightful. I adore Benbe already! And what of Pearl? Is she of a different species? I do hope this is merely the first installment of a continuation, or have I already missed an episode or two? I'm sure I would have remembered, but you can never be sure.
DeleteThanks Sandra and Patricia! I was thinking both Benbe and Pearl are otters. I was inspired by the Redwall series, by Brian Jacques, that I used to read when I was younger. First installment so far!
DeleteThe Immortal 26
ReplyDeleteThe mark looked like a bruise. It seemed to creep out of my jacket sleeve onto the backside of my hand. I looked at Sandie in wonderment as her fingertips slid from my grasp.
This would be the moment when he would take me, but the darkness did not come. She spoke true.
“What should I do now?”
“That’s up to you.” There was a spark in her eye. “Put your gear into neutral and cruise through the day, be one speck of dust in the sand or…” A smile spreading across her lips. “Or redeem yourself, do something meaningful.”
You've just wound us up further!! And with some smooth, smooth prompts, especially the "Put your gear into neutral" line.
DeleteWhat do do...what to do? So, Death was foiled this time around but for how much longer one wonders? But then again, there's so much to wonder about when it comes to "The Immortal."
DeleteLoved the description of the mark, and very curious to see what he might do to redeem himself.
DeleteToday was rather Sunday-ish for a Thursday so I am very late, but Rosebud wanted to talk about trains, so here she is.
ReplyDeleteThe Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #9
Flying Over the Rails
You’d think desert steam locomotives would be painted in some neutral color to blend into the sand, but no. My favorite midnight blue day-jacket hides better than these black behemoths on their gleaming rails. They are the best map money can’t buy to all the “invisible” cities, with their shockingly easy gate locks. Your standard hidden city would be much more secret if its residents would simply fly.
Intriguing, Rosie - and nice to be reminded of behemoth!
Delete