What an astonishing response to my first week
as Prediction host!! The last time
comments on this site went into treble figures was June 2013, although those on
Lily Childs Friday Prediction often reached 200.
I’m truly grateful for the wonderful response from regulars
and from friends from both the Word Cloud and the House of Writers who not only
submitted pieces of startlingly vivid writing but also, knowing how we writers crave
recognition from our peers, took time to comment on others.
With thirteen participants, judging WAS difficult. Above all else it was the imagery evoked that
grabbed me and enabled me, eventually, to whittle down a shortlist of ...
eight. From Tim’s blue-eyed rats,
through Rich’s Code Blue, via moving war-time evocations from Mashie and Baz to
Rebecca’s ever-addictive prose and Michael’s succinctness. But in the end I had to choose so, I went for
those who gave me the biggest surprise.
Which narrowed it down to Abi and Gita.
By the merest whisker, Gita’s ‘orgasm that was building but still had a
ways to go’ beat Abi’s jism and ‘kinda peachy tang, thick as crude and mighty
fillin’
Next week’s words are: cost, exquisite, slow
Entries by midnight
Thursday 18th June, new words and winners will be posted on Friday 19th
Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media best pleases you and, if you like, remind your friends that we are open to new and returning writers.
Break 2
ReplyDeleteDad had a little tiny trowel in one hand and what looked like a turd in the other. "Exquisite" he said. I looked at his hole and said I think you need a bigger spade it's so SLOW I'm going for a walk. There's a wall down the middle of the island. Dad says no one knows why, but I do. It's got one kind of dead on one side and another on the other. They talk to me in different languages. And they know I'm here. I think this is going to cost me.
Oooh indeed. Simple but hugely effective.
Deletedefinitely looking for more of this!
DeleteLike it !
DeleteVery intriguing continuation. Excellent twist with there being different languages involved. Left us with a bit of a cliffhanger too. Nicely done. I can almost hear that ominous music from those horror films when the characters are venturing down the wrong path.
DeleteEngaging story. Not sure where it's going but it drags you in.
DeletePlaying out a bit like an adventure game. :) I'm really intrigued by the two kinds of dead.
DeleteZaiure - interesting comment, as I based a Dungeons and Dragons setting on this island many moons ago!
DeleteReal grit life meets... something strange...
DeleteA Game o Thrones feel...
I love it.
This is an interesting story, Mashie, I imagine veils and voices shimmering and blowing in an astral breeze either side of the m/c. Enjoying it a lot.
DeleteNewbie
Ooooh, Mashers! :D
ReplyDeleteA change of focus [131]
ReplyDeleteThe immediately-recognisable, more usually camo-clad Royal sprawled damp, naked and apparently willingly, in Vladlina’s bed, eschewing modesty.
Pettinger assumed Vladlina, one eye on her captive’s slowly-recovering, blue-blood member, would keep negotiations as short as the exquisite silken-fringed shawl she’d wrapped herself in.
More stirred than shaken, by sin-guilty memories, ‘You suggested someone was about to die.’
‘Just teasing, Yanno, I knew you’d not resist.’
Irritated, gesturing to the window, ‘You any idea how much it costs to mount such an operation? Why me?’’
She pouted, ‘Oh my Virichamocho, don’t be such a spoilsport. To compare and contrast, of course.’
[the definition of Virichamocho is to be found in episode 129]
the title is a change of focus but you're closely focused on this to the point when every episode might as well be a full length chapter... so much going on!
DeleteWonderful as always. And I agree with Antonio - so much fitted into each episode !
DeleteSo eloquently described and the pictures conjured by the words so amazingly vivid. Love the "slowly-recovering, blue-blood member" reference. What a very delicate way of stating the obvious.
DeleteColourful and delightful. Good story to follow and well drawn.
DeleteLots of excellent and colorful phrases. Loved 'would keep negotiations as short as the exquisite silken-fringed shawl she’d wrapped herself in' and 'More stirred than shaken, by sin-guilty memories'.
DeleteI enjoyed the concoction of words as much as you did - rich and textured, yum.
DeleteHow fabulous! Yes, it is quite indulgent :D
DeleteNaught and fun. Drew me in :-)
Delete'To compare and contrast' love it. Rich and visual.
DeleteNewbie
My congratulations to this week's winners. I'm sure the decision was far from easy -- so many brilliant "takes" on the word prompts. And so, the challenge continues...!!!
ReplyDeleteBliss
ReplyDelete(By: Foxxglove)
(90 Words)
It went without saying that the cost would be exorbitant. He had expected nothing less and was prepared to pay above market price for pristine perfection. His inspection was slow and methodical. Some things were meant to be savored and anticipation only served to heighten the senses. The choices presented to him were exquisite indeed.
After much internal deliberation, he reached a final decision.
He did not ask her age and had no desire to be told. It was of little importance. Ignorance is bliss and innocence even more so.
Oooh, nasty. And very nicely done.
DeleteImmaculate and understated.
Deleteserious nastiness going on here! like it.
DeleteWonderful. And horrible. Haunting stuff.
DeleteWhat a character - should I like him or is he just a cad?. Good use of the prompts
DeleteLove the slow build of information from beginning to excellent end. Chilling yet lovely final line.
DeleteA sad, cold ambience to this tale, which highlighted the content even more.
DeleteChilling content but beautifully written.
DeleteNewbie
Congrats Gita!
ReplyDeleteWho cares? [Threshold 68]
ReplyDeleteIt had cost him nothing. No sweat, no remorse. Breathing slow as if he slept. (I’d several times lain beside him, wishing he would wake.)
‘She’s dead?’
He glanced, stone-eyed, ‘Not yet.’
‘You don’t –‘
‘Don’t care?’
His eyes examined me, from my shining hair to my apple-firm and sweetly-outlined breasts; the draped flatness of my belly and what ought, for any other man, be the hinted-at exquisiteness of my newly-shaved pudenda. Below-hem peeking of soft-skin, pink-painted toes.
Uninterested. Scathing, ‘You can’t complain about uncaring. Eight hours and not yet asked about your child.’
Asked what?’
‘Whether he still lives.’
such overtones of erotica coupled with horror - that killer last line instinct of yours slams in again.
DeleteThat last line... ouch! Loving this story and love the writing.
DeleteWhoa, what an absolutely riveting continuation. This just gets better all the time. I agree with Rich regarding that last line....ouch indeed!
DeleteInteresting mix, using evocative descriptions and the nastiness of conversation. Good.
DeleteI agree with Michael about the evocative yet grim mix of phrasing. A very vivid scene.
DeleteAgain, beautiful composition and joy in words. Last line a proper full stop.
DeleteHot and cold a clever mix. Shocking but beautifully written.
DeleteNewbie
Congratulations to all who made it into the top eight and many congrats to Gita, that line was the one that got me last week!
ReplyDeleteThis is looking good, the Captain will have to work harder at his Journal to compete...
if I seem a little frazzled at times, I am now writing a new book, taken a load from one existing WIP and thrown it into this one, along with a short story (which is all that particular spirit author wants to contribute) and hey presto, we have Kiss And Tell, Henry's Queens Talk About Henry.
Sounds easy. You start with Katherine of Aragon and go through the six. No. Katharine is pushed to one side to allow Anne B to crash in with her side of the story and she in turn has no time whatsoever for Jane Seymour, who has already given me 3000 words and dropped by last night in the middle of Anne's dictation to start on about the time Anne ripped the locket from her throat - Anne tore her fingers in doing it. Gets nasty around here - but thinking about it, that spat is crazy, Anne stole Henry from Katherine in the first place...it's going to be a big book but I want it done in record time, so aiming for 1000 words a day if I can and if they are willing. The Captain's saga will continue, though...there is much more to say there!
Love the sound of this new book Antonio! And very glad to hear that the Captain's story will continue!! :-)
DeleteHell hath no fury by the sound of it! Dare I say "Bitch Hall"? (probably not). But glad the Captain will still have his say.
DeleteAll I can say is "You go, Anne." She always was my favourite and certainly deserves the lion's share of the action.
DeleteGood luck with the book writing. Sounds very interesting. :)
Deletethanks! It will be interesting. Last night's work session produced startling insights. Working direct with spirit means the books get done a lot faster than 'normal' ones.
DeleteSandra, is there a way of dividing up these sessions? I nearly panicked, seeing 92 comments, then had to scroll down to find the end of the last and the start of the new...
WHEN YOU ARE BRAVE
ReplyDeleteSimon gulps down the shot glass of clear liquid. Colder than he expected. Almost tasteless. A hint of something minty. Like he's just brushed his teeth. At first, nothing happens. Then he starts to feel it - a blurring at the edges. The effect is slow at first, but gains momentum. The experience is exquisite and he giggles in pleasure. He can see through his hands, his reality fading - just as the small Russian said it would. His arms, torso and legs soon follow. He grins stupidly. This so worth the cost. He's tingling all over now. Braces himself. And vanishes.
Vanishes? Didn't expect that! Succinct and chilling.
DeleteThis was such a fun read. Lucky Simon! I'd love to be invisible and roam unnoticed for a while. I'd want to return eventually though and I'm not sure Simon harbors the same wish. Do we get to hear more of his adventures?
DeleteYes, a great description, with that finish. Would love to know more.
DeleteDefinitely a fun read! Love the description of the character's change, culminating in the final line. Very fitting title as well.
Deletevery very neat, with depth.
Deleteclever. I have been receiving massively over written stories this week, they should see something as tightly written as that, with as much content as that, too!
DeleteExperienced this one from the first word to the last!
DeleteExcept I'm still here, I hope.
There are times when a drink like Simon's would come in handy. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Crisp and visual. (pardon the pun)
DeleteNewbie
Cripplegate Junction/Part 14-Revelations And Reveries
ReplyDelete(By: Foxxglove)
(100 Words)
"How fares the migraine?" asked the Station Master seating himself at Clive Bailey's table. "I understand the pain is exquisite." He massaged his temples before slowly refocusing. "Excuse my reverie."
He removed a pillbox from his waistcoat pocket.
"My medication," declared Clive but the item was beyond his reach.
"Everything has its price," said the Station Master. "Does it not Constance? Violet? Alice?" He scratched Marmalade's ears. "Even felines must pay." The tabby acknowledged this with a low purr and rippling tail.
"The cost to you, old chap, is to reveal everything you know about our dear little Christopher's disappearance."
Well done. enjoy this story and I have a fondness of tabbies. The prompts are used seamlessly in this continuing story.
DeleteSo intricate this tale - I do hope you have the whole of it safely stowed - and your characters revealing their true colours. Once again Marmalade takes centre stage with his 'rippling tail'
Deletelike it, cleverly wrought, understated and yet with that hint of menace all the time.
DeleteThe Present
ReplyDeleteShe lifted the silver bangle to her veil-hidden face before slowly placing a purse on the counter. ‘Excellent,’ she hissed. ‘Exquisitely done. I am assured of your silence?’
‘Yes, my Lady.’ He bowed his head as he thought of the secret he held and the cost it might incur.
Short yet vast in its imagery. Love the places my imagination leapt with the dialogue.
DeleteZaiure has the right of it - such a skill you have Michael, of evocation and letting our imaginations run riot.
Deletesimple and effective
Deleteevoking much with not much, as it were. Good one, Michael!
DeleteThe waiting game
ReplyDeleteTwatface did all the swirling, sniffing, holding it to the light shit. Pronounced, ‘Exquisite’.
Arch, well-practised, looked duly gratified. Watched the slow, appreciative sip, clichéd pleasure-signifying closing of eyes.
‘Can’t begrudge the cost, not when it’s this good.’
’Never pays to skimp on what you enjoy.’ Arch’s eyes slid sideways. Met Twatface’s missus’ mocking glance.
Glanced lower. She reversed the undesirability of skimpy, though he’d have to pay for it.
So would Mister.
‘Another bottle, Sir?’
‘Make it two, Arch.’
‘A man of true discrimination! A pleasure, sir.’
Sixty-five quid mark-up from Asda’s bargain bogoff, what else could it be?
great portrait of a snob and, almost as bad, a toady with lecherous intent. I like 'Twatface'.
DeleteWell done crafting a very strong voice, and I enjoyed the dark humor. :)
DeleteA lot of intrigue going on here. Paying for pleasures even if they are bargain bogoffs. Liked this Sandra.
DeleteNewbie
After having met you in real life, Sandra, well, ahem! no I won't say it...great voice in this piece btw and love the dark humour in your writing.
Deletethere is dark humour and a lot of good imagery there too.
DeleteForced to grow her own.
ReplyDeleteFifteen years it took for her to culture and graft; to perfect. Just the right amount of sunlight, same of rain, lashings of horse manure. Snipping, trimming; grooming.
She'd almost bottled it once.
The broom handle he'd rammed inside her vagina, changed her mind.
With meticulous care, for it only ever blooms once, she'd tended the bud until it swelled and burst into exquisite flower.
The stamens, she'd removed and pounded into pulp, stirring it into his tea.
His death was murderously slow as the poison spread, turning his blood to jelly.
'Should've bought me roses. They don't cost much.'
This is one that beats you around the head and then, when you are down, gives you a thorough good kicking. Vicious and nasty
Deletedirect and violent, delicate and enigmatic. How do you do that?
DeleteVengence thy name is woman. Good one Noods.
DeleteNewbie
Horrible and chilling to be sure, yet some lovely phrasing mixed in with the horror.
DeleteChilling indeed. I sometimes wonder why we writers aren't behind bars.
DeleteI think we probably were once, Baz... I ought to be, if you had followed my Skullface Chronicles you'd be worrying about me, too. a thinking walking talking killing zombie on the Isle of Wight...
Deletethis is good, heavy with horror (which I love) and tightly crafted, which I also love.
Ouch! Very nasty.
DeleteBuds and blooms; metaphorical too.
Another of my serials, this one much shorter (so far). Past episodes can be found here: Revelations
ReplyDeleteTit for Tat
“Exquisite,” the politician had whispered, hand trailing down my sweat-slicked flank.
I’d said the same of his cocaine, ignoring his slow slide to the floor. He’d had too much – wine, powder, me. I’d dressed, stepped over his body, and left, assured the hotel cameras were disabled.
“So,” Belial asked, “which of those poisoned him?”
I smiled at the fallen angel. “Trade secrets.”
“You’ve no honor left to cloak yourself in such conceit.”
“Want me to dial up Satan? What would that cost you? Better to just give me my promised reward.”
He paled, then began my transformation into addiction-free addict.
Rebecca - you have a real talent for creating intriguingly nasty characters whose dialogue says so much about them. "“Want me to dial up Satan?" is such an example - delicious.
DeleteI agree with Rebecca, the dialogue creates such interesting characters and leaves us with memorable lines. :)
DeleteI like the in-fighting. Had a smile at the same line Sandra picked out. Your m/c is a character who doesn't pull punches. Visual and interesting read.
DeleteNewbie
dialogue is so vital to a story and here it's so well done.
DeleteThe Lesson
ReplyDelete“Do we live in a world without values?”
She couldn't answer.
“Let's see”. He tucked the razorblade in below her belly button, her pelvis clamped between spiked iron.
“My dear, you're not trying to dance?”
He cut an exquisite heart shape, and peeled away the skin, removed the package from her gut, then held it against her upper lip.
“Can you smell the disappointment, that now I'll have to take my wager back?” He slowly emptied her mouth of dollar bills.
“My dear, love costs nothing”. He pushed the skin heart into her screaming mouth.
I'm really glad I didn't read this before bed last night! What a thoroughly gruesome scene, and that "held it against her upper lip" just one twist in the multiple horrors. And the "skin heart" and the .... well, all of it really.
DeleteEeek, definitely not a piece to read when alone in the house. Lots of gut-punch phrases cleverly crafted.
DeleteCold and calculating, Mashie. Well done.
DeleteNewbie
Oooo! Mashie, that was so very grotesque it was brilliant.
DeleteI love that kind of cold blooded horror, it works for me, Mashie!
DeletePowerful and thought-provokingly horrible (and you get points for that on this site!).
DeleteAhhhhhhh. What was in the package???? Cold as steel, this one, with just a dash of macabre.
ReplyDeleteShe moved with slow, measured steps, enjoying the hushed adoration her presence demanded. The drones bowed their heads as she paused to rake them with her sharp talons. They had failed her: the cost of failure was severe.
ReplyDeleteFive hundred workers decimated.
‘Niall?’ Her voice, light, exquisite, held a slight tremble.
‘We’re not sure where he is your Majesty…’ Smog wheezed - his lungs aching.
‘You left him?’ Anger replaced the tremble.
‘He left us!’ The answer was sharp. ‘My apologies, I intend no disrespect.’
‘You will find him.’ Her large black eyes bore into his. ‘Now!’
Newbie
It's the detail in this that so well creates her world - I especially like "his lungs aching"
DeleteLots of little hints scattered throughout that set my imagination into overdrive envisioning the presented world. I agree with Sandra about the line 'his lungs aching'.
DeleteOoooh. I loved the raking of talons. Very visual!
Deletethis is visual, which is always a hard thing to bring over. Brilliantly done.
DeleteI shall be taking a break from posting for a few weeks. One of my little dogs has been diagnosed with acute lymphoma and only has a life expectancy of a couple of months at best. Needless to say, my creative juices are going to be severely crippled for a while. I'll return when I feel I can contribute once again. And thanks for allowing me to be part of such a marvellous group. I will probably pop in every once in a while just to see how things are going.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that Patricia, hope you can find some solace, either in visiting here or elsewhere.,
DeleteSorry to hear Patricia!
DeleteNew here, but really sorry about your news. X
DeleteAcquisitions
ReplyDeleteEntry is slow into the capital, and we’re still floating ten cars back when Essidra materializes in the backseat. Lounging, she thumbs the costly, ‘borrowed’ transporter clasped about her tattooed wrist and barks a gleeful Elvakorean curse.
“Essi!” Raelah gasps, the obscenity yanking her from her stupor.
Essidra rolls her eyes. “Anyway, the engine’s exquisite!”
I look over my shoulder, as she drums on my seat. “The ship will fly again?”
“Oh yeah, and with this upgrade she’ll outrun even the DreadWings!”
Raelah smooths her jacket nervously. “Wish we didn’t have to steal it.”
“Aquire,” Essidra grins.
Such credible characters depicted in your usual lovely way with words and phrases - the last line especially delightful.
DeleteThe description is amazing for so few words - and there's a whole plot! - but to me, the best thing about this is the instant sense of camaraderie. I wish I knew how you do that.
DeleteI'm with Rebecca here, how do you do that?????
DeleteVery slick, the beginning of a story...?
DeleteI like the image of Essidra materialising in the back seat. I feel I'm in the middle of the action. Enjoyed reading this.
ReplyDeleteNewbie
Very much enjoyed this :D 'Aquire.' Excellent :D
ReplyDeleteThe Rout of the Season
ReplyDeleteDaniel in exquisite style –
cut coat, silk vest, breeches mama called
unseemly –
reaches out an elegant hand,
never soft,
always ready,
a blatant invitation
to dance.
Palm down, chin up –
I know what they said of me,
vowed to embrace it –
my fingers brush his
with memory and promise
as I glide,
the height of fashion,
the envy glassy-eyed ladies,
in a decadent waltz.
Musicians tremble
as we slowly promenade
past the fine, down-slumping citizens
who failed to recognize
the cost of a social slight.
We allow the orchestra to flee,
then bar the doors
and contemplate
the remaining few.
Exquisite indeed - Georgette Heyer, painted black.
Deletethis is pure elegance and very very cold. Loved it.
DeleteLoved it...the form and content...reminded me of Peter Greenaway.
DeleteVery exquisite and beautifully written, and loved the dark turn.
DeleteI can hear the echo of doors as they slam shut. Such a statement promises revenge. Love the way the couple 'contemplate the remaining few'.
DeleteNewbie
After the Event
ReplyDeleteEach day I look up dizzied by the sight of exquisite spokes of golden rays. Will it disperse the foreboding grey? What of the argon. Is this the cost? We never saw it come. No, colour. No, smell. The slow exposure has increased in its intensity to such a degree that the human race has all but suffered total annihilation. A simple asphyxiate. For all our puny efforts over these five hundred years we, the survivors of the 2016 Holocaust cannot give up and succumb to our despair. Can we? We were the last. I am the last. It’s too late.
Sad as hell Baz, especially the ending.
DeleteTerrible tale, starkly told, the "no colour, no smell" truly awful. As is the five hundred years. In fact the whole of it seeps into my consciousness.
DeleteStark and haunting, yet beautiful phrasing in the first line.
DeleteOoops!! forgot to check word count DQ'd at 101 sorry, Sandra.
ReplyDeleteBaz, every time I copy/paste my 00 words from one .doc to another I lose or gain a word, so this definitely DOES qualify :-) ((and for the quality, would want to lose a word.)
Deletethis is so good, so finely drawn. Like it a lot.
DeleteSo sad after such a struggle. Evocative of what's to come... Lovely writing Baz.
DeleteNewbie
Captain Teach has dropped by with another instalment...
ReplyDeleteInfinity 101
I be counting the cost of losing First Mate, setting it off against the exquisite pleasure of killing a man who be bad mouthing his cap’n around the Infinity. I would wish it were a slow death but the Creature be hungry and it be over in a moment.
I have my plans... another fat merchantman galley be sighted on the horizon, the crew be excited about more bounty and in that chaos and riotous behavior I could just find my chance to feed that which follows and satiate it for a time, until I decides what to do next.
And a nasty one at that too, Antonia - the Captain in an especially black mood and the prompts well-buried.
DeleteDefinitely have found the Captain in a dark mood. He seems more sure of himself.
DeleteCaptain Teach isn't a man to bandy with is he? This is dark... Love the voice, rich but raw.
DeleteNewbie
The Drowning - 01
ReplyDeleteI grasped a crust and stumbled out after Albert.
‘Goin’ up quarry mum!’
The slow scrub of bristles on tiles, paused, then hissed again.
We slipped under thicket at Black’s farm, scrunched over pit gravel mercilessly loud, down to the quarries.
Last nights deluge had cost; crazy heat rose, thick and lazy, and trenches clawed at the pit sides.
‘Crikey, pit’s filled up.’
At the water’s edge The Twins had dragged a car-part. Now it was flinging, exquisite, over the lake over its reflection. Everything went fuzzy and grey bubbles vomited out.
Fast Twin’s pig eyes flicked over to me.
What a wonderfully poetic and evocative phrase is " crazy heat rose, thick and lazy," and the image of the reflecting car part inspired. Good to see you here Ruth.
DeleteGorgeous language RR, painting suspense. Can't wait for 02
DeleteI agree; lots of evocative phrasing with excellent suspense at the end.
DeleteRich and visual RR, beautifully written.
DeleteNewbie
'Slow down!' ordered Thurston from the back seat of his limo. The lap dancer he'd hired for the night was finding it impossible to hold her balance keeping her twat slammed in his face. What would have otherwise been an exquisite blow job might end him up in the fucking surgery, and that would cost more than she did!
ReplyDelete