Friday, 31 July 2020

Byron’s comment on the seasons


“The English winter – ending in July, to recommence in August”

It hasn’t felt that bad, but this year’s July does seem to have had a dearth of blue skies.
Thank goodness, then, for Prediction, which this week was chock-full with off-the-wall ideas and epic offerings, my favourite of which was Perry’s ‘Beachhead’ which sent my mind travelling way beyond the words.

Top place this week, however, for its small-scale setting but colourful and vastly entertaining characters, goes to Terrie’s SAS diaries entry 116 – thank you both.

Words for next week: coin peacock twitch

Entries by midnight Thursday 6th August, words and winners posted Friday 2nd

 Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and uses of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever.

78 comments:

  1. Snap: Sunday morning raid

    The Job taught you to snatch sleep whenever and wherever possible; a six hour drive in the dark certainly helped. On arrival, Luke checked. ‘Duncan successfully taken?’
    ‘Aye. Plus three. Let them in then arrest them.’
    ‘Good. I’ll snatch an hour. Wake me at three.’
    The fly alighting on his nose morphed, in his dream, from a peacock-patterned shawl Fran didn’t own, to a feather, tickling him awake.
    Eschewing coin-operated coffee, he drank cold milk. Black clothes, into the car. To Neil. ‘Go on.’

    No twitch of warning that within the hour he’d be blue-sirened back, bleeding, broken and unconscious.


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    1. Thanks for the top slot vote Sandra. I am really enjoying writing the 'Dillos serialisation. and The Prediction has been so instrumental in helping their creation.
      I thought all the entries for last week were top notch too

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    2. Very nicely done to both Terrie and Perry...hey, that rhymes!!! How you can manage to pick the most sparkling gems out of the vast offerings every week is beyond me, Sandra. That having been said though, you can never go wrong with the 'dillos.

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    3. That was kinda mean, waking him with a feather. No one wants to be blue-sirened anywhere. I look forward to finding out what happened.

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    4. Thanks to this prompt, John, I've just written it - 800 words so too many for here.

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    5. jdeegan536@yahoo.com3 August 2020 at 00:10

      Hearty congrats to Terrie and Perry, who submitted excellent entries!

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    6. Congrats to Terrie and Perry!

      @Sandra I really loved the phrasing of this piece. You'd think sitting and waiting for a raid wouldn't be very interesting but this brimmed with vivid description. I especially loved his dream and the hook in the final line.

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    7. What an image...a common fly morphing from a shawl to a feather. This was a visual delight.

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    8. CONGRATS TERRIE!!

      and, how to ratchet up the tension, Sandra!

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  2. jdeegan536@yahoo.com31 July 2020 at 19:12

    THE BOX II

    I made it to the island’s less turbulent mainland side, but there the whir of helicopter blades halted my quest. Two armed men jumped to the narrow beach and quickly threw me into the chopper.

    “So, you want inside, eh?” said a man obviously peacock-proud with my capture. His left eye twitched and his sneer held teeth that resembled dull silver coins. “As you wish.”

    I was stripped naked then forced to the open door as the chopper cleared a wall of THE BOX. It descended and I was roughly pushed out.

    The sight below turned my breath to ice.

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    1. This is a great way to get us into The Box, Jim. I was afraid I was going to have to experience it second hand.

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    2. Forced out naked from a helicopter bad enough ... but what now?

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    3. I liked the description of the 'peacock-proud' man with 'teeth that resembled dull silver coins.' Being shoved naked out of a helicopter does sound terrible, but I worry about what's waiting below.

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    4. What sight? What sight? That's one hell of a place to leave us dangling, Jim. This was a nail-biting final line to be sure.

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    5. I agree with Patricia here Jim, what a brilliant last line: hoping there's more next week to keep us hooked.

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    6. whoo hoo, there's Sandra setting up a raid and hints of how it goes down and Jim throwing a scared body into the Box... and I've only just started to read the stories...

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  3. Can’t please everyone

    Jack dropped two coins in the slot and waited as a peacock emerged and started plucking a mini-piano.

    “Excuse me,” said Jack. “Do you know Abbey Road?”

    The peacock twitched, obviously annoyed, and started playing Mozart.

    “How about Tiny Dancer?”

    The peacock stopped playing, nodding at the coin slot.

    Jack rummaged. “Do you have change for a five?”

    The bird gave change and Jack dropped in coins, only to hear more Mozart.

    “The peacock is a hack,” Jack complained to the manager. “Not a talented bone in his body.”

    The peacock sharpened his beak and followed Jack to the parking lot.

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    1. John, I should've known better than to have entrusted you with a pretty word like 'peacock' and expect something ... well, pretty
      this is nightmare on several levels.

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    2. I've always been cautious around birds and here's a good reason why! :) I loved the phrasing of the final line and its dark promise.

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    3. jdeegan536@yahoo.com4 August 2020 at 16:37

      There are some birds you just can't trust, John. I have now added peacocks to my list. This is yet another example of your splendid imagination.

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    4. Uh-oh. Jack may well have been better advised to keep his observations to himself. This was a tale that really could have only come from your talented plume, John. Would have known the author anywhere.

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    5. So off the wall and quirky , so darkly twisted and well written, and so enjoyable.
      I thought I liked peacocks but all of a sudden I'm not so sure.

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    6. if you even suspect John's seen it, touched it, read it, avoid like it's Covid-19 personified. Oh my, what a creepy story!

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  4. We’re All Mad Here

    Alice stole an axe from Lizzie Borden
    And rapidly dispatched the asylum warden
    Tumbling down the rabbit hole
    Her mind was gone - she lost control
    Peacocks twitched on the croquet lawn
    The knave of hearts was scalped and shorn
    To make a decision she tossed a coin
    Then split the Hatter from chin to groin
    She stabbed the dormouse, ate his spleen
    Savoured the moment she beheaded the Queen
    Discovered by the Tweedles, Dum and Dee
    She blacked their eyes and smashed their knees
    Then satisfied with the thrills and kills
    Jumped into bed with cocoa and pills

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    1. The perfect illustration of when poetry is good it is VERY, VERY good - and this definitely is. Thank you David - a real treat.

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    2. Wow, this is amazing and terrifying (and gross haha). Excellent poem! I especially enjoyed the rhythm of the piece.

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    3. This was wonderful, entertaining, imaginative and totally unique. Absolutely adored each and every reference.

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    4. Again I agree with all the above. such a great piece.

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  5. jdeegan536@yahoo.com2 August 2020 at 00:07

    Excellent stuff here, David. Extremely creative and a joy to read!

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  6. Obfuscation [Threshold 311]

    I twitched sideways from his Time to go again caress. ‘Blame for today’s situation more concerns me; resting with your peacock-garbed, would-be sibling or yourself. I’d like a truthful explanation –‘
    ‘As I would, for the writing on your back.’
    I wriggled, attempting to feel what I’d not seen. ‘Of that, I’m genuinely ignorant.’
    ‘As am I, of her intentions.’
    ‘So what d’you want to do?’
    ‘Leave?’
    I hid my relief. ‘As do I.’
    ‘Then there’s no need to toss a coin. Because, heads or tails, you win.’
    Puzzled, ‘And you don’t?’
    ‘Only if she makes me a better offer.’

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    Replies
    1. I'd love to know what that "better offer" might be to possibly tempt Raven. And the story moves ever forward, onward and most certainly upward.

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    2. I'm also curious what would encourage Raven to stay. Nothing is ever simple with these two! :)

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    3. What a complicated person Raven is. You start to think you have the measure of him and as you begin to feel comfortable - he bats you sideways. What a great character.

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    4. Unpredictable, another way of describing the vast range of nastiness and ecellence here this week. Raven's up to his tricks again, too...

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  7. Change of focus [388]

    Pettinger’s expression twitched from wry amusement to shame-faced acknowledgement of the shallowness of his desire. Better, to coin a colourful, if badly alliterated phrase) the done deed of a dunnock than the peacock promise of a bird just flown. And he’d plenty time to thwart Sally Vicksen’s matrimonial aspirations (if that’s what they were).

    Meanwhile, he’d a murder to solve. Stepcart’s ID of a potential killer more useful (at the moment) than her mischief.

    And he’d a son to take better responsibility for (even though by the sound of it Sally had already got one foot in the doorway there.)

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    1. Pettinger's changing expressions are something I would give much to actually witness in person. How you manage to keep this tension going will always remain a mystery to me.

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    2. Thank you, Patricia - I suspect the tension comes from me not knowing where Pettinger is going next.

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    3. I'd also like to witness Pettinger's expressions. :) Sounds like Sally's intent is to become invaluable.

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    4. Pettinger is so well written Sandra you can imagine so easily his changes of thoughts and moods. He might be a little shallow in his desires but that inner monologue cleverly reveals the best parts of him.

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    5. the fun bit is following your thought prceeses as you work with words you chose - and then set Pettinger to work on them, around them and through them. It's a wonder the poor man can still stand...388 instalments of pure Pettinger mayhem!

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    6. Trouble is, Antonia, with two serials running, (and a poor memory) I too often shoot myself in the foot with the words I choose. I can only justify his unending difficulties by claiming they do qualify as noir.

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  8. The Lord's Due

    He’s a peacock in jeweled and feathered robes, and eyes gleam with greed as the crowd parts around him. His sycophants call out, their words buzzing in my ears like dying flies. My stomach twists. Every coin in that lord’s purse bears my family’s blood. Every sated breath he takes is one from my sister’s lungs.

    I calm my twitching fingers in the folds of my gown. Steady, I remind myself. I step into his path.

    He halts, eyes undressing me, arrogance turning to lust.

    My fingers close on hidden steel as he reaches for my chin. He is mine.

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    1. This a very definite 'WOW', Holly - so strogly-depicted a scene. I especially enjoyed 'Every sated breath he takes is one from my sister’s lungs.'

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    2. jdeegan536@yahoo.com4 August 2020 at 16:45

      Your opening paragraph is something else, Holly! Such beautifully vivid language! Very nicely done!

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    3. Another one of your magnificent contributions that borders on the mythical. Such vivid descriptions that draws the reader most definitely into the moment.

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    4. What a powerful piece. I really like this Holly. My kind of story.

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    5. yes, powerful descriptive writing bringing a powerful set of thoughts to the reader. Loved it.

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  9. The Secret Armadillo Soldier (SAS) Diaries - entry 117

    ‘Any idea what Jagha is planning, Moses?’ Nigel asked the gerbil.

    Nose trembling and twitching, Moses said quietly, ‘Jagha is brutal as ice and plans to run everything. She enjoys spreadin’ pain and panic and is loonier than a peacock in a piranha pool. Her young are the same, but the she-cub, Namwec, is most vicious. She tortures for the pleasure of it.

    Atlas nodded, I seen that one b’fore: Teeth like thorns and a voice t’ freeze stone but what about the brothers?’

    ‘Ahh, them two are like a two-headed coin; connected at the flank an’ do everythin’ together.’

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    1. You've not even taken a sentence apiece to describe these characters, but nevertheless fully created them, and a sense of foreboding. I fear the next few episodes might need to be read with my eyes closed!

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    2. jdeegan536@yahoo.com5 August 2020 at 16:43

      You paint such a clear - and ghastly - picture of Jagha, Terrie. She definitely is someone to avoid. Nicely done, as always.

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    3. We have taken something of a more sinister turn with this installment. I am anxious to find out what transpires next. Love the idea of a "peacock in a piranha pool." Where do you come up with such colourful phrases?

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    4. Lots of lovely and amusing phrasing here with 'loonier than a peacock in a piranha pool' (great image!), and 'Teeth like thorns and a voice t’ freeze stone.'

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    5. the tension is turned up a few notches while the characters discuss mayhem with total nonchalance,. Yes, it has go considerably darker. In a good way, too, fits the characters really well. I do fear for the gerbil, though, he could be heading for trouble.

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  10. When

    When did the peacocks, magnificent tail feathers consisting of a hundred eyes, stop visiting the garden?

    When did little cottontails, with twitching noses and whiskers, no longer come to nibble on the four-leaflet clovers?

    When did those shiny copper coins cease to bring promise and wonder when pressed into the open palm of a tiny expectant hand?

    And when did I become the only one who remembers?

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    1. This, Patricia, yet another direction for your writing to take us in - you are truly multi-faceted. And this a tale that leaves one hovering, breathless on the edge of a precipice, where the next step will drop us into the unknown.

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    2. This hints at a magical world that seems to be disappearing. Lovely and sad and I'm very curious where and when as well!

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    3. lots of 'what has been' here beautifully and carefully depicted.

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  11. Kursaal (Episode Two Hundred Ten) - "The Brothers Jester/Part Two"

    If Benny (oldest Jester) was a fine-feathered peacock and Arbuthnot (youngest Jester) a cheeky cock robin, then Lenny (middle Jester) would be a drab and retiring sparrow. Painfully jittery, Lenny often suffered involuntary twitches, hardly conducive for one striving to become a consummate juggler. To coin a phrase, Lenny was the male equivalent of a "Nervous Nellie." Still, he did have the occasional star-studded moment.

    Unfortunately, during one less-than-glorious knife-throwing performance, he managed to lop two fingers off the diminuitve Arbuthnot Jester's left hand.

    Luckily, the always-chirpy Arby was never one to hold a grudge.

    --------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
    http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
    ---------------------------------------------------------

    NOTE: The Jester Brothers (Benny, Lenny and Arbuthnot a/k/a Arby) have all featured in previous episodes.

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    1. Why is it that brothers always seem to maim each other? :) I love the comparison of each brother to such different birds, and the imagery of twitching Lenny juggling.

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    2. the comparisons are good, you can almost see each brother distinctly. Nicely done.

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  12. Cripplegate Junction/Part 240 - Search And Rescue

    "There used to be peacocks on the Sanitarium lawn," said Miss Constance to her brother.

    George twitched a disinterested eyebrow.

    "You don't say!"

    "Could be such nasty birds," said Constance. "Sometimes chased children into the Wendy House and held them hostage," she added. "That happened to us one afternoon when we visited Cousin Clive's mother."

    She looked out the window in the direction of the Sanitarium.

    "Matron came and rescued us with one of Violet's rolling pins. Remember?"

    She turned her attention to George.

    "Remember?"

    But George was busy rummaging between the carriage seat cushions in search of loose coins.

    --------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
    http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
    ----------------------------------------------------------

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    1. jdeegan536@yahoo.com5 August 2020 at 16:37

      Either George has a short memory or he doesn't give a hoot. It is nice to see a lot of good dialog, Patricia.

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    2. Excellent creation of the scene via dialogue, and George so, so typical.

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    3. My aunt used to have peacocks at her house that would sit on the roof and yell. :) Sounds like George doesn't have any lasting trauma from being chased by the peacocks though it's something I think I'd remember!

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    4. there's something about fishing for coins in the sofa which attracts males, George being one of them! The peacock discussion has actually gone right over his head, hasn't it? typical male...

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  13. The Joys of Mediumship No 16
    Anthony Eden came back, having started his contribution a few years ago, when he admitted that faced with a blank screen, he lost all he wanted to say… He’s changed his mind about something, the words I have are far lighter than I hoped, which means he’s hiding something that will not be known. A telltale twitch of the fingers on the hat he always wore… He comes, as many do, like a peacock in full display, all bonhomie and smiles, coins in hand, none of which is real. Politicians, Tricky bunch at the best of times.

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    1. When it comes to "tricky," I believe Anthony Eden qualifies among that number. However, I seriously doubt he will ever divulge the entire truth.

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    2. Loved the imagery and phrasing of Anthony's appearance 'like a peacock in full display, all bonhomie and smiles, coins in hand, none of which is real.'

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  14. Stop The Week; I Want To Get Off (109)
    So Shaun clears a shed… and brings in tools coated thick with web, dirt and debris. No peacock glory for the shop this week… I was getting twitchy at the thought of the state of the floor when Shaun got busy and swept up most of it. No Hettie here yet, I have to order one soon. I’ve heard there are little to no car boot sales, so I advertised us as under cover at car boot prices… could earn a coin or two. Other older things are selling but mostly it’s ‘oh, you’re open, good! Onward and upward!!

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    1. Onward and upward indeed, Antonia. And it does appear that things are beginning to improve in your neck of the woods. Wish the same could be said here.

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    2. Glad to hear the shop is twitching to cleanliness and activity once again, albeit slowly.

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    3. I never enjoy cleaning webs off things *shudder*. :)

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    4. I get a blog mailing from an Australian writer every morning. He seems to trawl the Internet for different and interesting items. Yesterday's was a village which had been flooded. When the water drained away, all the spiders came out. The entire village is covered in webs...it's horrid jut looking at the photos, let alone live in it!

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  15. The Mad Italian (168)
    There is security in coin, but now you are asked to use a card. It is not the same. There is no security in peacock displays from arrogant party leaders, we are not impressed, we see right through you. We twitch when we see you put on the Party Leader face and false smile. We cringe when the mealy mouthed words come forth as if the populace is made up of illiterate and non-discriminating people. Call another election now, Mr PM and see how many vote for you. Looking back over the pandemic, what did you do that was right?

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    1. Politics should never have become entangled with how governments responded to the pandemic. I really hope some light is coming.

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  16. I wonder what any politician in power during COVID-19 has done right. Very little in my opinion. Case of one step forward and two steps back...if not more. Oh well, I suppose there will be light at the end of the tunnel eventually. Does our Mad Italian have any thoughts on that?

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  17. Thank you for your kind words on Beachhead. Much appreciated. It's good to know I am occasionally able to connect.

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