Well, who’d have thought such innocuous words
as fledgling, prick and transfer would have brought forth such a rich diversity
of entrants and a wealth of reading?
I should be used to it, but once again I found myself
struggling to pick a winner this week. Eventually, I settled for two
runners-up: John for ‘Where’s the
Body?’, its use of menace and, as Jim said, such wonderfully-chosen verbs, and Joe’s ‘Bad Luck’ for effective dialogue
and the magnificent kick of its ending. The winner , who excelled herself this
week, is Zaiure, for ‘Combust' – rich
and delicious.
And thank you all for so assiduously commenting each week –
bringing the essential life blood to this blog.
Words for next week: grunt jettison Saturn
Entries by
midnight Thursday 5th April winners
and words posted Friday 6th
Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash
fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror,
fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as always, welcome.
All variants and use of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links
to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media you prefer.
I'm honored to be a runner up among the great stories this week. Way to go Zaiure and Joe.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Zaiure. Your story, as usual, was awesome. Congratulations to you also, John. That was a fabulous story and great use of the prompts. It is I who am honored to be chosen with you.
DeleteThank you so much!
Deletecongrats to you all, magnificent writing, almost intimidating at times!!
DeleteInvisible Bond
ReplyDeleteJettisoned from the family at an early age, Cricket stared at the photo of his now grown twin brother. He felt a strange sensation, thought he might even cry, but all he could do was grunt. He checked the post mark on the envelope and googled New Zealand on his phone. Holy shit - might as well be Saturn.
An image of he and his brother, trembling over their mother’s dead body, fearful for their lives while their father rampaged entered his mind. He looked at the photo again; like looking in a goddamn mirror. He googled New Zealand again.
Lord, this has some depth, and mileage. An invisibly-prompted mix of tragedy and hope.
DeleteWow. This is really good, John. Great use of the prompts
Deletegood way of using the Saturn prompt, like this a lot. Very deep.
DeleteThere is so much substance to this story and so believable. The insertion of "Saturn" into the fabric of the scenario was exceedingly smooth and the other prompts simply disappeared. Magnificent submission.
DeleteA touching and somber piece. I'm already imagining their reunion.
DeleteMany congratulations to John and Joe with a special accolade to Zaiure. I love how the participants in this forum constantly challenge the writers to strive for the best they can be.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Patricia!
DeleteI agree! I've definitely become a better writer by being inspired by all the wonderful writers here.
So much potential here. Love the characters name.
DeleteThank you, Patricia. This is a wonderful group
DeleteFinal Frontier
ReplyDeleteFrom this vantage point, Saturn appeared to have no rings. It was a disappointing image and one he had looked forward to seeing up close since he first studied the bounty of the universe many years before.
It was a secret he'd keep to himself. No choice really since, with a grunt and a groan and a distressing whine, the system had ceased all operations. A single fading glimmer emanated from the back-up power pack.
It was sufficient to jettison the pilot seat.
What a feeling it would be to be in your MCs spacesuit. Alone, floating in the pilot seat, waiting to run out of air. Well done, P.
DeleteMore tragedy ... underlined by the title.
DeleteYou really captured the emotion of the story. Nice work
Deleteanother goodie, going to be hard to choose a favourite this week, Sandra!!
DeleteI can picture this fellow's demise quite vividly. Nicely done!
DeleteLots of lovely phrasing in this, and you've set the atmosphere and tone beautifully. I really love the line 'It was a secret he'd keep to himself.'
DeleteFamily Jewels
ReplyDeleteThe necklaces gleamed like Saturn’s rings around Patricia’s neck. She grunted, apparently not impressed with the value of the gems she was wearing. I wasn’t too surprised; she had, after all, always been an ungrateful old sow. But with the demise of my wife, I had to do something with the jewels. I thought about selling them, but somehow that didn’t seem right. I had hoped Patricia would appreciate them.
Patricia grunted again, and I watched as she jettisoned some remains of my wife.
“Patricia! So you don’t like the idea! But you have to help get rid of her!”
By the way - the Patricia in my tale isn't our Patricia. It is a girlfriend who dumped me in high school.
DeletePatricia might be glad to hear that lol. This does leave me wanting more. I need more more mlre!
DeleteI have a queasy suspicion about this particular Patricia ...
DeleteI got the initial feeling the jewels were made from the wife's remains. If one could generate enough pressure, it could be done.
Deletesome nasty goings on here down in the pig pen...
DeleteHappy to find out that I am not the "Patricia" that inspired this story!!! As previously mentioned, this was a particularly nasty little tale...in the nicest possible way.
DeleteCreepy! Don't know how much we should trust this Patricia either. Made me happily uncomfortable
DeleteI really loved the description of the jewels in the first line. I'm curious how this will play out for the two of them.
DeleteKursaal (Episode One Hundred Thirteen) - "Hiring And Firing"
ReplyDeleteThe arrival of a small travelling circus was the source of amusement for most Kursaal performers. The newcomers were a saturnalian crew...a collection of raggle-taggle entertainers more interested in carousing than poaching potential patrons.
Their risqué songs degenerated into a hullabaloo of grunts and giggles every night and no attempt was undertaken to tout their shabby attractions, although some effort had been invested into the recruitment of an individual willing to be jettisoned from a cannon (the previous artiste having met with an unfortunate fatal accident).
Someone (anonymously, of course) had apparently put forward the name of Arbuthnot Jester.
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To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: Arbuthnot Jester has featured in previous episodes.
Like the use of the Saturn word. All I could think of with that word was planet or car.
DeleteWell, this is certainly fodder for future stories, especially if Mr. Jester takes the cannon job. The carousing entertainers are really, interesting. The circus just seems to be a forum for social interaction.
Delete"saturnalian" - of course! How clever.
DeleteYour use of language is wonderful. Loved it.
Deletethis is full of the usual Kursaal goings on, which are always rich and always varied.
DeleteI loved the atmosphere set by this line - 'Their risqué songs degenerated into a hullabaloo of grunts and giggles every night'. Sounds like a jolly fun time!
DeleteDownsized
ReplyDeleteHe still had the snap taken when they were all together, smiling and carefree. Happy times before he'd been cruelly jettisoned from the bosom of his family. Far too devastated for tears, he expressed sorrow in shuddering grunts and heaving sobs. He would never be the same.
He missed them all, but none more than his big sister Saturn.
Who would she play ring toss with now?
Oh you got me. Darn it. You made me feel emotion for a planet!
DeleteOh. How heartbreaking.
DeleteCould that be Pluto? Great imagination!
DeleteImaginative with a little brilliance thrown in for good measure. Loved it.
DeleteIncredibly creative piece. Excellent.
Deletevery creative indeed! quite brilliant.
DeleteBeing a "child of Scorpio," Pluto has a special place in my heart. I know it has now been removed from the fold, so to speak, but it was always be my governing planet....and I don't care what modern astronomy tries to have me believe.
DeleteA clever and sad look at Pluto, and a masterful title. They always fit the stories so well!
DeletePorcine Cargo
ReplyDeleteJust as we passed the rings of Saturn the sewage system failed. A terrible stench pervaded the oxygen supply. Down in the hold the hybrids began to grunt and squeal.
Nyambura screwed up her nose. 'Who thought of splicing human and porcine DNA? Adapted for space exploration is one thing. But jeez.'
Her scales were shrivelling as her skin prepared to shed.
Worried she might be tempted to jettison the passengers I bared my teeth.
She winked vertically and flicked her serpentine tongue. 'Don't get out of your tree, monkey boy. It was just a passing thought.’
Vivid and entertaining. I loved this. Got a great sense of these characters right away just from this snippet of dialogue
DeleteSurreal in the extreme! And a wonderfully ... strong opening line.
DeleteNot a dull moment in this one...great from start to finish, David!
DeleteRJ was right on the money. The dialog was great and said it all... so to speak.
DeleteAnd then there was the grunting and squealing and the snake girl preparing to shed her skin... really good.
Loved every word. Great story.
Deletenice one, a tangled mass of (somethings) on a journey, heaven alone knows what they'd be like when they arrived.
DeleteWonderfully imaginative with images created without necessarily being overly visual. Loved the reference to a "monkey boy."
DeleteThat first line is gold, horrible, stinky gold. :) I enjoyed the descriptions of the characters.
DeleteWith a grunt, he tossed the heavy bag into the trunk of his Saturn. His vision swam and he staggered. He quickly reminded himself he wasn't as young as he used to be.
ReplyDeleteCatching his breath, he slid into the front seat and drove without headlights to the dock. The boat waited for him where he would slip out to the sea and jettison the body so it could be never found.
Moody Blues on the radio. His wife loved that song. He smiled. Not for the first time that day, Charlie wondered if divorce might've been easier.
This reads like the beginning of a novel I'd have to buy, and is an object lesson in creating an intriguing character in 100 words - so many hints and insights.
DeleteNo wonder they always question the husband first. I hope he has his story straight. Very enjoyable and well done.
DeleteWon't let my wife read this one.LOL Great story.
DeleteDivorce might have been easier, RJ, but not nearly as entertaining. Well done!
DeleteI've been reading a new-to-me Mark Billingham crime book this week, this would fit well as an opening for one of his twisted tales!
DeleteIndeed, this reads like the opening to a crime novel. I can visualize a series of flashbacks leading up to this point. Very nicely constructed.
DeleteContemplating the recumbent [Threshold 204]
ReplyDeleteThat Raven no more than grunted at my near-insult I’d anticipated. He alien not only for maleness but also race (if that the correct definition). Lumped together as The Uncivilised (a description tact had me attempt to jettison) the term covered a myriad of types, or tribes, of which the ebony bulk of Raven’s people were the most exotic – a Saturn amidst the brown barrenness all known-of other planets these days claimed.
He also claimed to breed with me went against some oath or other taboo, but even knowing his mother’s repugnance sent her mad I did not believe it.
You've created, at least I think so, a very sympathetic narrator. She has it pretty rough most of the time, but she keeps coming back for more, not always among her best judgement. Loved the use of jettison in this one.
DeleteI really like the voice used here. Takes a moment to get into but when you find the rhythm it draws you in
Deleteanother instalment that both brings out the background and carries the story forward at the same time, no mean feat.
DeleteThe beauty of words strung together in impeccable harmony is the trademark of this serial. I do believe you may have just outdone yourself this week, Sandra.
DeleteI thank you all - such comments are truly appreciated, and I'm aware I don't say so as often as I ought.
DeleteChange of focus [276]
ReplyDeleteThe contented, milk-sated grunts of Valdeta’s daughter contrasted with her mother’s accusation-flared stare. Aleks’ expression was one of stoic acceptance.
Of the two, Pettinger, head encircled with more rings of guilt than Saturn, found the latter hardest to bear; Aleks’ expectation that nothing in his life would ever come good near broke his heart.
He’d spent hours trying to find a way to bring stability to his son’s life, but was certain asking him to leave his mother – however chancy her life – was a poorer option than him jettisoning his current job or, God forbid, finding some sort of wife.
Absolutely loved the last line. Plus I really liked the first line too. Really good writing and an enjoyable story.
Delete276 instalments and you've not missed a single note so far!!
DeleteI love it when Pettinger goes into "musing mode." The relationship between him and Aleks continues to grow more complex and more intriguing. Had to chuckle as "more rings of guilt that Saturn." That prompt word certainly has inspired some innovative tales this week.
DeleteNot really proud of this one…
ReplyDeleteThe stench from the tainted ricotta filled olive was almost masked by three shots of Ace High Royal Canadian Gin, but not until she’d drank it down in two gulps. In the pub’s restroom, she’d jettisoned her underpants amongst rumbles and grunts that alarmed the other patrons. She walked out, mascara encircling her eyes like the rings of Saturn, a strip of cheap bath tissue trailing in her wake. By the scruff of his neck, she forced the barkeep’s face into the slime ridden olive tray.
She released him suddenly. “I’ll be right back,” she said, running back to the head.
Eueuchch!! You've really, um ... scraped the ... shit with this one haven't you John? Superbly gut-twitching.
Deleteour use of Saturn is ingenious, John. I loved this one!
DeleteYour use of Saturn, John
DeleteYou should be. Quite the visual feat provided here
Deleteutter nastiness which is what horror is all about!!
DeleteOh, John! You can always be relied upon to come up with the most original of interpretations. Can you provide the name of that pub, please? I'd like to make a note so I can avoid the place.
DeleteExploring Gone Awry
ReplyDelete“What went wrong?
“The ancient artifacts we found on Europa were infected. The crew didn’t know until too late.”
“But they jettisoned the damn things while passing Saturn. And, we quarantined the crew.”
“Yes, Mr. President, but it was a trap. A timed extinction event.”
The President grunted. Shook his head. “Is the epidemic really worldwide? Is there no hope of reversal?”
“None. Humankind will be extinct very soon. Worse still, is how insidious the infection is,” she said, wiping a tentacled claw over her six, spider like eyes, “They changed us. We have become them.”
Sometimes it is best to stay close to home. An entertaining piece, Joe!
DeleteLove that ending. I was a big sci-fi geek as a kid, devouring Asimov and this satisfied that nostalgic craving.
Deleteoh good one!
Delete"Timed extinction event" - what a potentially useful phrase.
DeleteThe observation that this echoed the talent of Asimov is spot on. It also reminded me of Bradbury's "Dark They Were, And Golden-Eyed."
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 139 - Smoking Like A Chimney
ReplyDeleteSteam jettisoned from the train could be seen from the sanitarium garden. Ethereal rings, like those encircling Saturn, drifted upward and evaporated.
Outside the Wendy House, Clive Bailey wondered if the express waiting at the platform might soon continue its journey. He hesitated, unsure whether he truly wished to leave. In search of guidance, he looked for the Station Master but the man had vanished.
Clive shuffled through the tangled privet hedge and stumbled upon a figure face-down in the dirt. There was a grunt of protest. The youth raised himself on one elbow. His monogrammed apron read: "Elsie's Dairy".
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To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
what have you done with everyone??? Who's stolen the Station Master? You're raising more questions by the week with this one!
DeleteEerie indeed - will Clive be the last man standing?
DeleteA fascinating mystery, and a gorgeous description of the steam rising from the train.
DeleteVisit Your Local Pharmacist for Advice...
ReplyDelete‘You see,’ the doctor explained, with a hint of a know-it-all smile, ‘one of the elements used in that pill is also found in LSD. That’s why you thought you were flying.’ She went on at length about who could and couldn’t take the pill. I grunted and jettisoned any idea of asking for it to be taken off my ‘allergic’ notes. I was only asking, ‘cos really I didn’t mind visiting Saturn’s rings without a spaceship. They were quite spectacular.
(the first bit of this is true. I asked the doctor why Sudafed made me feel like I was flying...)
They say truth is stranger than fiction, don't they? (Mind you, many of the events in this week's offerings I'd not like to meet in Real Life)
DeleteLong live such allergy medicine. Bad enough one has to suffer the inconveniences...a little uplifting relief is welcome. Love the way this is so current since most of the other submissions are "otherwordly" in one way or another this week.
DeleteSudafed? I was a child of the 60's. I remember the real thing. LOL great story, based on truth makes it even better
DeleteThe Mad Italian 49.
ReplyDeleteThere are those who know more about Saturn’s rings, atmosphere, ability of man to make a colony there than they do about child poverty, knife crime, burgeoning debt, rising prices and lowering standards. More fool them. If they do not jettison high blown ideas and become more on a level with their constituents, even if it means grunting with them rather than at them, they will have little to no hope of securing a feathered nest come the next election. Then where will they be in the great political arena?
There is just no arguing with the logic of Leonardo. As always, he has his artistic finger on the pulse. I'm grateful he has found such a talented outlet for his observations.
DeleteVery erudite. Excellent writing.
DeleteInflight Entertainment
ReplyDelete“Mention Saturnia one more time and I swear I’ll jettison your ass.” Xata hovered her index finger over a button on the console, and waggled it threateningly.
“Touchy, touchy.” Pell held up his hands. “You know, you’ve threatened me with that at least twenty times.”
“Doesn’t speak well about your performance.”
“Or your leadership.”
Xata grunted and jabbed the button, calling up the fuel display. “We have to stop at Timus to refuel.”
“Ugh, that place smells terrible.”
“Well half their population is dead, so…”
“Our cargo. You open it?”
“Open the mysterious sarcophagus with the biohazard symbol? Hell yes.”
Superb dialogue here.
DeleteHad to chuckle at that last line. You never fail to entertain, Zaiure. And your characters always so individual and unique.
DeleteGreat dialogue. Very clean. Funny, and carried the story. Well done
ReplyDeleteThe Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #123
ReplyDeleteThe Plot Thickens
Well what do you know but just west of Cecily’s Castle a fog rolled in, obscuring everything but our most Saturnian planet. Other people might have jettisoned cargo to rise above the fog. We just set down in a clearing, with some grunting as Natasha had to basically fall to the invisible ground. Luckily we could see the trees nearest us. At least now we will definitely get to work on Indy’s play tonight.
Sparkling es ever, and lovely use of prompts.
DeleteLoved the setting of the scene with that beautifully descriptive first line.
Delete