I was at a funeral this week of
a man I knew only slightly but whose conversation made a big impression. He was
remembered by all with affection but the eulogy was a recital of others’ (surprisingly
banal) memories from which I did not recognise him at all. Although I know I
cannot choose the memories of those left after me I can certainly choose the
music, and have begun a playlist..
Not that the music I could
clearly hear when reading this week’s stand-out winner – Antonia’s ‘On the other side’ – would suit everybody: Marilyn
Manson, ‘In the valley of the shadow of death’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4eh9NTzn7I
Words
for next week: favour Monday sceptic
Entries by midnight Thursday
3rd August, words and winners
posted on Friday 4th
Cangrats to Antonia for her story and receiving the laural wreath.
ReplyDeleteI ask beacuse it's a weakness of mine, yet two of the words came up as misspelled in word(favour-and English spelling vs. favor in the US) and an alternate spelling (sceptic for skeptic).
Does this matter as far as using the prompt?
I'm sure Sandra will get back to you on this, Jeffrey, but I believe spelling in either the US or British versions is acceptable. I know I've alternated between the two many times, having been born and educated in England but now living in America. I can't explain why I choose one over the other on such occasions, I just do.
Deleteknocked out that the mysterious story came out top - I still can't explain it but I can say that if I had written the vision out in full, it would have been truly horrific, they were dragging their faces along the glass and distorting them by doing it. Scary.
DeleteI don't think English/US spelling makes any difference here. It did on Legendfire big time, which is why I no longer enter any contests there.
Congrats Antonia!
DeleteNo surprise on last week's winner! Great job with an absolutely stunning story, Antonia.
ReplyDeleteFair Of Face
ReplyDeleteSome were disfigured and some scarred. Others were simply unattractive or downright plain. A few were sceptical. Most were just hopeful.
He charged no fee for perfection. The requirement? To be on call for his exclusive clientele and cater willingly to their every whim, whatever such might be. He considered it a small favour in return for his services and agreement was total.
No act was too demeaning.
No request too outrageous.
To be Monday's child meant everything.
Well damn Patricia. The first paragraph kind of exonerates anything the good doctor does after that. I love your little stand alones. Being relatively new here, sometimes I get lost in the series stories, mainly because I have the attention span of an aardvark. This one was really good.
DeleteA fascinating and dark world. Love the phrasing of the final line.
DeleteItchy and unsettling this, the final line the coup de grace
Deletethis is saying a whole stack of horror without saying it - dark and creepy. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 107-Greater Than The Sum
ReplyDeleteAlice hated Mondays. Mondays meant arithmetic, Alice's least favourite lesson.
She showed the dog-eared page to Miss Constance. "Are they right this time?"
The governess was sceptical. "How long has it been since you were awarded a gold star for your numbers, Alice?"
The little girl chewed the end of her pencil before replying. "I think maybe years?"
Constance removed the offending object from Alice's mouth ("Nasty habit!") and looked at the unmoving hands of the Station Clock.
"Probably so," she sighed. "Indeed Alice, I fear probably so."
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To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
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The unmoving hands on the Station Clock says a ton here. Really eerie and enjoyable.
Deleteagree with John, it's the unmoving hands here which cap this clever vignette. The characters are so vivid.
DeletePoor Alice ... but such a vivid;y-drawn scene.
DeleteThe unmoving hands of the Station Clock tell so much in this piece, and I love Constance's final lines. Her emotion really comes through.
Delete101 words
ReplyDelete“Be gone non-believers. There is no room for sceptics here,” says my favorite itinerant. He stands at the curb on Michigan Avenue; bedraggled, holding a world is ending sign, undiscriminating in his beratements. A woman attempts to hand him a dollar and he tells her to fuck off. The limo stops in front of him. I watch in astonishment as the window glides down. He throws down his sign.
“Goddamnit Geoffrey, I said three o’clock.” He pulls a pocket watch from his filthy jeans and shrugs. “Oh, never mind.” As they drive off, I can’t help but think, it’s only Monday.
this is so off the wall and clever I've re read it at least three times and it still works. Good one, John!
DeleteDeliciously surreal, and I picture it in monochrome, taking place against a background of high buildings, in a New York street.
DeleteI believe I saw a documentary along these lines some time ago, the "itinerant" in that case was some type of busker, if memory serves. Anyway, he went home in some fancy car and lived in something akin to a mansion. This was a magnificent version and so (as Antonia put it) off the wall. My imagination would have never taken me there ... more's the pity!
DeletePatricia, even your responses are a thing of beauty. Thanks for taking the time.
DeleteAn unexpected, enjoyable piece with the environment created so vividly.
DeleteKursaal (Episode Eighty One) - "Night Watchmen"
ReplyDeleteMidnight to dawn, Monday through Friday, the Kursaal closed, these hours being least favourable for business and unlikely to turn a profit.
Maximillian Corviday, sceptical of local riff-raff observing the restriction, appointed security crews, headed by C.C. Sebastian and Georgie-Boy Endicott, to patrol the park at such times.
Miscreants Georgie-Boy found got off relatively easily. Black-eyes. Broken bones. A few contusions. Just enough to dissuade repeat offenses.
C.C. Sebastian meted a different form of retribution. Mesmerized by his pallid complexion, gaunt physique and imposing presence, delinquents captured by C.C. were granted no release.
They became members of his punishment protectorate.
---------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: C.C. Sebastian and Georgie-Boy Endicott have both previously made appearances in "Kursaal" installments.
nasty bunch you have at the Kursaal, Patricia, good job I live a long way away from the Kursaal and all its pleasures...
DeleteThere are times when I think I'd love to live within your mind ... and then there aren't ... These two a superb creation.
DeleteCrime and Punishment to the nth degree. Great story with superb descriptions of C.C.
DeleteYou are indeed a master of names! Love the comparison of the two characters, and the hints dropped by C.C.'s description.
DeleteFavours
ReplyDeleteMama saw the Favour Man today. She put on her best dress, the one with lace at the collar, and combed her hair into a bun. Ade tried to put dandelions in the gathered silver-turned strands, but Mama shooed her away.
Elisa was sceptical that Mama would come home at all, saying she’d finally gone and left us, but I said she’d be back with Monday’s beans.
Mama arrived at dinnertime, and she smiled and said we’d be all right, but we all noticed her shaking hands, and how the buttons on her dress were in the wrong holes.
there's a chilling certainty about this which is very hard to convey but you did it skilfully, as ever.
DeleteIt's the balance of outward optimism, thinly-veneered innocence against an underbelly of nastiness that makes this so successful.
DeleteI get this dysfunctional vibe from this family, with the dandelions and the thoughts of the mom not coming back. I so much want to hear of this Favour Man. He must be quite the character. Fantastic story.
DeleteAnd yet another where my thoughts and the prompts would never have taken me. How DO you people achieve such innovative creativity? I agree with John that the "Favor Man" sounds like some character! I like the idea that Mama seems to be an older lady who still does her best to shoulder family responsibilities however she is able, despite the fact it obviously goes against the grain. Always a pleasure to see you here, Zaiure!
DeleteThank you all for the comments!
Deletethis week's stand alone:
ReplyDeleteOvertime
Overtime.
He wanted a favour, one that would interrupt my weekend, destroy my time of peace and tranquillity. If I were not so sceptical, I would think he did it on purpose, rather than it being a necessity at this time, just to rile me and cause a backlash. If that’s what he wants, he’s welcome; I’ll fight him to the end. Or I would if I didn’t need the money.
OK, I give in. I’ll go do the job.
On Monday I’ll start the week as usual, choosing the victims needed to satisfy this serial killer.
Matter-of-factness underlines the horror.
DeleteA story so good, you titled it twice. I agree with Sandra: the matter-of-factness and the MC's nonchalance about his job really made this interesting.
DeleteI seem to be echoing what has already gone before a lot this week, but yes. It is undoubtedly the matter-of-fact tone that makes this so chilling. Your stand-alones have returned with a vengeance, Antonia.
DeleteJohn, I copied and pasted and at first Blogger didn't give me the title, so I typed it in, then it conceded defeat and put the title in... infuriating Blogger, as always!!
DeleteAntonia, I owed you a bit of criticism for all those rejected stories. Although, they deserved to be rejected, I still felt I should chime in.
DeleteIt is chilling indeed to think of the helpers of serial killers, especially when there is a certain nonchalance.
DeleteThe Mad Italian 16.
ReplyDeleteMonday 31st July, and a deeply moving ceremony to commemorate an appalling waste of life, of talent and ability at Passchendaele. The sceptics, it would seem, used the ceremony to promote their ‘dream’ of a united Europe, knowing full well that their words will find no favour with the rest of the so-called Union. Whether they like the truth or not, the United Kingdom has no part in the Union. There will never be another war like the two you have endured but there are other kinds of wars. Be aware that rabble rousers will drag you into that instead.
"but there are other kinds of wars" - chilling indeed.
DeleteThe Italian is not afraid to voice his opinion, that's for sure. I like him.
DeleteInsightful and prophetic. I believe these words are eternally linked to the Italian. As always, this serialization is something to be savoured.
DeleteSandra called out my favorite line. It is powerful and sad.
Delete[I'm feeling totally out-classed this week]
ReplyDeleteChange of focus [246]
The tightening of her lips, the single nod of resignation was no more than he deserved. Valdeta’s scepticism was that of most Khakbethian females. Pettinger looked in vain for a hint of relief. It took Aleks a moment longer to understand the answer was not in his favour; forewarned by the tone of their discussion he displayed a silent resignation beyond his years.
‘Marriage, no. Not immediately, but a home, shelter, for you, your daughter and Aleks most willingly –‘ He glanced at his watch. ‘It’s Friday. I’ve to be back by Monday. Can you be ready to fly tomorrow?’
I get the feeling there will be a price to pay for this shelter he offers. Classy story, Sandra.
DeleteBefore I comment further, let me say that there is no way you could ever be out-classed in either this forum or any other, Sandra.
DeleteVivid descriptions that truly paint a picture in words. And again, for me, Aleks steals centre stage. Wicked cliffhanger though. I believe there are going to be repercussions no matter what the answer will be.
DeletePatricia's right, Aleks does steal centre stage, do you (to use your prompt word) favour him when coming up with the instalments?
DeleteThank you all - I truly DID struggle this week; odd whn the words were so innocuous.
DeleteAs for Aleks ... he's a bit of a life-saver for me when I'm flagging for direction.
Definitely would not have known you struggled with this piece! An interesting scene with Aleks, and I must say, I really loved the phrasing of the first line and the image it painted.
DeleteLaw of probability [Threshold 173]
ReplyDeleteWith hindsight it was blindingly obvious. Should have been considered as a probability from the start even though, in mitigation, we’d enough to keep us busy.
Never again did I regain that ease of blissful, sated ignorance present before the Law Man favoured us with a visit; my natural scepticism returned on hearing myself priced, my virtues listed and tallied, even though Raven assured me on his part it had been insincere. and the subsequent three, four weeks of peace had probably softened us.
A Monday it was.
Around midday.
A duplicate visitation, two black-inked calligraphic strokes.
Raven’s twin brothers.
The brothers cometh. I'm embarrassed to say, I don't know who the narrator is. Can you help me out? If I wasn't so lazy, I'd go back and read some past stories, but laziness is hard to overcome.
DeleteJohn, the narrator is a ~17 year-old female who was pregnant at the start of the tale, Raven delivered the child and after a few adventures they went their separate ways, Raven(scar) taking and having to kill the baby.
DeleteI haven't yet been told her name, I'm afraid, and don't blame you for not having the stamina to check the whole of the tale out. One of these days I'll put it in a book ...
The twins first appeared around episode 47, along with a far more repulsive other brother known as Toad.
twists, tis your week for twists, it seems. Another fine (173) instalment, and no sign of the story slowing down. Brilliant.
DeleteAs intriguing as ever but what really captured me this time around was those last four lines, saying no more than needed to be said to convey a complete picture. I may as well continue my copycat routine this week and echo Antonia's "brilliant."
DeleteLoved how the piece slowed & tightened with those final lines. Lovely phrasing describing the brothers!
DeleteSize DOES matter
ReplyDelete‘It was in Monday’s paper –‘
‘Where? Show me.’
His scepticism, impelled by an ostrich-like desire not to have to face the proof, was feigned. ‘Four, five pages in. Bottom right-hand corner.’
He fumbled to the page. ‘Mmm, yes. That colour does her no favours. And it is him though –’
‘She denied knowing him –‘
‘Ever having met him, even!’
‘Well she would, wouldn’t she?‘
‘But what’s he got that I haven’t?’
Christ! Where do I begin!
In the end I told him. In forensic detail. Even showed him photographs of us. Which wasn’t kind.
But fully justified.
This was really good. I enjoyed it. Especially, "Christ, where do I begin.'
Deletehow many twists can you include in a 100 word dialogue piece... fabulous, Sandra.
DeleteI love your virtually total dialogue pieces. This was no exception. And here I go again with my "little sir echo" in nodding vehemently to John's comment on his favorite line. Seems I am a failure at being original this week.
DeleteLaughed out loud with your use of 'ostrich-like desire'. Very clever!
DeleteMonday’s child was fair of face. This was a surprise, given how ugly Monday was. Monday remained a sceptic. The ugly genes would surely supersede the lovely ones.
ReplyDeleteBut the girl grew to be a stunner. Won the favour of a handsome man. Gave her three granddaughters.
Eldest was full of pious grace. Bible thumping hooligan. Caster of stones.
Middle one was full of woe. A serial moaner. Glass half empty.
Youngest had far to go. Off she went. Never came back.
Each sibling uniquely ugly.
“Sod and his famous law,” Monday would frequently ponder.
Oh - this was lovely in both tone and content! And welcome David, you've made a superb start.
DeleteWell, that was good. Very good. Full of entertainment value as well as superb writing skills.
Deletegood to see you here, David, with a lovely nasty piece, if you see what I mean!
DeleteWelcome indeed, David. If this is a sample from your pen, please continue to bring us enjoyment. Wonderful stuff. I just adore that rhyme. Personally, I'm Thursday's Cihild (the one who went off and never came back!)
DeleteLoved the descriptions of the granddaughters! They feel fully fleshed and oh so fascinating.
DeleteIntentonal Burlesk Aliteration Zands Thre
ReplyDeleteFacinating freinds whoose favors fullfil wizdoms kup
Collaegues colectable concensus caugt museing
Monday’s mischevious misspeled momentos
Harrassingly humerous litterary horz derves
Ryme readible rellevance aghainst religous rulez
Lightining looose unegspectedly liesurely liason
Indispensible inteligence, ignorence innoclulates
Apparant amatuer allmost acheives
Skilfully skribed skroll suprises sceptics
Desparate dilema disapoints divotes
Perseption personel preceeds zands prufe
Writting witheld wierdly wistfull
Embarassingly exilerating extrem experiance
You you seem to have gone over my head again with this one, Jeffrey. But I nevertheless always appreciate the creativity.
DeleteMy intent was the perfection we strive for and all the words are spelled wrong except the prompt words.
DeleteI loved the rhythm of this piece, and how every line seemed to flow and unravel in my head, despite my slight discomfort with the spelling as I read. :)
DeleteShort and a bit late this week, but still here anyway.
ReplyDeleteThe Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #88
Your Friendly Neighborhood Assassin
Dear Rosebud,
I have a favour to ask. Could you make sure not to be at your usual dock next Monday? There’s a group of sceptics tailing a wizard who favours the opposite dock. Said wizard is my current employer.
Hopefully I won’t see you soon,
Georgiana
Short yes ... but as intensely entertaining as ever. Rosebud and her adventures are a constant delight.
DeleteAnd I now echo Patricia, a never-failing early morning treat for me.
DeleteRosebud's story continues to fascinate! Short and sweet, leaving me oh so curious about the wizard.
Delete