Friday 24 February 2017

March of the human mind

Heavens, the comments ratcheted up fast and early this week! 50+ by Monday; 70 on Tuesday evening and finishing, this Friday morning at 85 with my comment on Rosie’s literally last-minute piece.

What a buzz of a week too, not least for comments. I was especially grateful to AR Martin for his definition of ‘lived in’  - a quality I aspire to - but also to Patricia for using ‘gargoyle’, Wondra for her imaginative FB attack and Antonia's new-vamped crew for 'Infinity'..

Not for the first time, however, first place goes to a newcomer: Perry McDaid’s ‘Siege Under’ was a beautifully-crafted, epic-sized subtly horrific entry, and I’m sure I’m not the only one hoping he will stay around.
Words for next week: dwarf eve ostentatious

Entries by midnight Thursday 2nd March, new words posted on Friday 3rd

Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and use of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media.

82 comments:

  1. Change of focus [224]

    Pettinger’s personal grief was dwarfed by that displayed by the woman across the trolley from him, which bore the now ostentatiously-odourless body of the man she, given carefully-unwrapped sight of his face, needed to identify as her husband.

    Earlier, to the usual accompaniment of Mozart, Pettinger had watched with horrid fascination as the be-whiskered pathologist examined stomach contents. Not the usual part-digested pizza, yellow-flecked with sweetcorn but plastic packets of pearls and other precious stones. Rings, including one inscribed ‘All love Eve’.

    Gently, attempting to dam the flood of tears, ‘Mrs Bailiwick, Eve –‘
    Her head snapped up, ‘It’s Barbara!’

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    1. This is nicely done prompt use. I liked be-whiskered pathologist. Very good ending.

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    2. This was a very interesting addition to the story. Noting the usual stomach contents of the deceased makes me extraordinarily pleased that I never became a pathologist. Love the image of a "be-whiskered" one though.

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    3. I watch an episode of Morse every Sunday, a ritual now, and he always avoids the pathologist's request to 'look at this' particularly stomach contents. This reminded me of that immediately. Good instalment, keep them coming.

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    4. Blogspot is finally letting me add reply comments! Yay! So I can say that I read your story just before dinner last night... yum. Also, the reference to the other name on the ring has a resonance for me; my grandfather was a laundry routeman, and had stories about lost jewelry that didn't match anyone in the household. I think you captured the reaction perfectly.

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  2. Nicely done, Perry. Magnificent debut I must say. I do hope you'll stick around. It's always so nice to have even more submissions to enjoy. My congratulations...!!!

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  3. This week's prompts (or one of them at least) would appear to be virtually tailor made for a certain "little person" who works at the Kursaal. But I feel I must avoid the obvious.

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  4. The Greatness

    He stands tall, his off-white suit in unsettling contrast to the falling snow. The crowd sways in the flakes as his words roll over them.

    “On this, the eve of greatness restored, ostentatious displays of resistance will not be tolerated. Stand with us or be counted as an enemy – of the state, of the people, and of all that we hold dear. We are ONE.”

    “We are ONE,” the people echo in lifeless unison.

    Behind him, dwarfed in both stature and intellect, the president nods. His yellow locks blow to and fro in the wind, much like his attention.

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    1. And yet another sort of nastiness! I very much enjoyed the colour observation of the first sentence. And your use of the prompts.

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    2. Great story Perry, congrats on taking the top spot. AR and Patricia did pretty well with their honorable mentions.

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    3. I love the potential storm clouds gathering feel this piece provided. Really liked "...the flakes of his words." A very good story, AR

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    4. Have a feeling I might know who this could be a reference to. Excellent piece and more current than some might realize (assuming my identification radar is correct).

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    5. you earned the top spot last week, Perry, and this one is a good contender for it again. I think I am with Patricia in knowing who you're on about here...

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    6. Very atmospheric with a delicious hint of menace, AR. Thanks very much Jeffrey ... and Antonia thank you too, but this story ain't mine, it's AR's.

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  5. Those In Peril

    As lighthouses go, it was ostentatious. Fashioned, rumour had it, after the Pharos of Alexandria. Penelope didn't mind filling in for the regular keeper over the holidays. After all, she had no place else to be.

    Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. The keeper would be in the company of friends and family. Drinking mulled cider. Singing carols. Exchanging presents. Same could be said for those aboard the vessels that would soon materialize, like dwarf ships upon the horizon, heading for home.

    Penelope drained her mug of cocoa. It was time for bed.

    And time to turn out the lights.

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    1. Knock-out opening line and cocoa-flavoured knock-out punch - superb, Patricia!

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    2. Patricia, I'll assume that she's turning out the lights at the wrong time. Very well done.

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    3. oh brilliant. How to write a mini horror story. The image of the boats/ships sailing toward the light, which goes out...

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    4. Loved the twist in the last line, humourously terrifying.

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  6. Be careful what you wish for

    For a dwarf his sense of self was oversized, outrageous. As well he knew; worked hard at even. And, like a castrato I once had as lover – an outstanding Prince Orlofsky! – he was not lacking in the most important attributes. Nor did his skills present as ostentatious; there was no sense of shortcomings being compensated for.

    Which, perhaps, explains why I so regretted my own failure of perfection when he took my hand and, not exactly sorrowfully, said, ‘Ah, Eve, time to say good-bye. I’ll not be seeing you again.’

    My aim overcompensated; I shot him right between the eyes.

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    1. very well done, showing disappointment along with regret. The insinuations are nicely placed and referenced.

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    2. Beautifully constructed and immaculate use of the prompt words. That last line was a true "ba-boom" moment.

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    3. every time the last line gets me. How do you do that???

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    4. Deliciously and viciously quirky

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  7. Uxbex #9

    “Uxbex, you’ve been searching this decrepit cesspit, long enough.”
    “Smell not to liking Garibaldi can he leave?”
    “The Imperator told me to assist, until you’re finished.”
    “What to untrained eye sees Garibaldi?”
    “An old bloody Velusian dress that would fit a dwarf.”
    “Tonight eve of ceremony dress for was made, Uxbex participant in was. Ancient Velusian dress for ceremony of life bedding, wedding best word of humans for have.”
    “How old, how much is it worth and who here could make one?”
    “Cost relevance not. If all such ostentatious are, then none are. Of residents living station are is one…me.”

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    1. This unique delivery of dialogue is indeed interesting. I was obliged to read this a time or two to make sure I fully grasped what was taking place.

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    2. another interesting instalment. Good one, Jeffrey

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    3. Oooh, Yoda goes shopping. Unique.

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  8. POTPOURRI

    Psst, come here.
    Torn between two lovers or just being ostentatious, by wearing love on your sleeve?
    Wonder what the eve of destruction will be like or just humming the tune?
    Sing the song of the seven dwarfs when going to work. Thinking of telling the boss where to shove it, while there?
    If you see a raging tempest in your partner’s eyes, are you curious if it’s real or a reflection?
    If you change the name but not the letter, do you marry for the worse and not the better?
    Have you ever tried to fool Mother Nature?

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    1. Oh, that "change the name but not the letter" had such power when I first heard it! Excellently titled.

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    2. Had a nice little wander down a sing-song memory lane with this one. I think I also picked up on a few advertising slogans as well. This was a very clever composition with a wonderful rhythm.

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    3. this is good. I remember chanting that 'change the name' rhyme with another friend when the third member of our group announced her forthcoming marriage in which she would not change the letter. Oh, many a long year back.
      I really like this, memory evoking all the way through.

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  9. Torch Wood Diner: Jamie’s Dinner #4

    “Well done, young man, you ate like it was the eve of the battle of Hastings.”
    “I did, I guess.”
    “Your empty plate, the chocolate glazed Partridge, white chocolate and garlic covered Brussel sprouts and brown sugar glazed sweat potatoes. The speed, at which you ate, dwarfed most.”
    “I ate all that?”
    “Yeah and I heard your bell, ready for dessert? It’s Chocolate Trifle.”
    “Sure.”
    “Yes sir.”
    A large feather is dropped in front of me.
    “I believe you dropped this.”
    “You were in my dream. But how…”
    “Rather ostentatious, dreaming of me. I’m Anne Prospere and we have plans.”

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    Replies
    1. Well-done prompts as well. What next?

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    2. You always send me off searching for references. Not a bad thing, in my opinion. This time, you took me into Marquis de Sade territory. I'm almost apprehensive to ask what follows.

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  10. Torch Wood Diner: Mike’s Dinner #4

    “So, what did you think of the food?”
    “Uh? Oh, I guess I was pretty good, what did I eat?”
    “Shrimp & Lobster Bisque, Mince Meat Pie with Escargot and Tomato, Cucumber and Scallion salad.”
    “I must have dreamed or gone to the restroom.”
    “You never left your seat and it’ll be brought right away.”
    “Here’s your Champaign Syllabub, and your ostentatious dwarf silver bell.”
    I look up at the familiar voice.
    “Pamela! How?”
    “I was eating at the other counter. You left very quickly. Tonight is Whitt Monday’s Eve and you’ve still a bell I’ve yet to ring.”

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    1. I've not heard Whit Monday mentioned in years, so thanks for the memory. So, there is a bell yet to be rung. Dare we ask for further details?

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    2. I get strange looks from people younger than me if I mention Whit Monday, so yes, it is good to see it mentioned, thanks, Jeffrey! and an intriguing episode, too.

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    3. I need to time the reading of these quite carefully - on an empty stomach they can be too rich!

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  11. Honoured to be picked a winner among so many top class microtales. Will I stick around? Too right. I do so love the challenge of these busy little microcosms.

    Perry

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    1. Great news to begin my otherwise mundane Sunday morning, Perry.

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    2. Fantasic news of you're sticking around.

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  12. Cripplegate Junction/Part 85-The Test Of Time

    Anticipating Hamnet's return with her lost item, the Grande Dame alighted from the carriage. Miss Constance, at the Waiting Room window, noted the brooch pinned to the ample bosom.

    "That monstrosity," she thought, "could dwarf the Cullinan diamond!"

    Her nose wrinkled. Ostentatious! Vulgar! Perfect description of the disagreeable matron herself actually.

    Constance consulted the Marcasite fob watch gifted by brother George on the eve of her eighteenth birthday. Attached to the bodice of her lavender dress, it communicated nothing related to passing hours. But then, she did not expect it would.

    Like the Station Master's timepiece, it had never worked.

    --------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
    http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
    ---------------------------------------------------------


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    1. I can almost hear the creaking of the corsets, smell the lavender water and hear Constance's near-silent tut. It's a skill, evokingleap off the page characters. and one you have in spades.

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    2. tis another good one, Patricia. I can see this person, as Sandra said, evoking characters that clearly is a skill you possess in abundance.

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  13. Very good prompt use and I really liked tying ostentatious to a personality.

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  14. The dwarf star cast faint light on the third planet, proving a slight ostentatious glow. The closest planet shone brightly, too brightly, while the seventh orb, the last planet, struggled to retain the miniscule heat the small star was able to project.

    The third planet, on the eve of monumental significance, continued on its steady rotation around the mother star as clouds formed and it began to rain.

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    1. Welcome John. I like the weighty portentousness of this - aptly-used prompts too.

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    2. Jeffrey checking in, just before work.

      Greetings and welcome John.

      A rather foreboding piece with very good prompt use. I liked how a human element was given to the planets. a solid story.

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    3. This was quite lovely and below the word limit too, as far as I can tell. Some gorgeous images created here and the ending was both whimsical and gentle in nature. Oh...seems you are a newbie, so welcome, John. Nice debut.

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    4. Good to see you've joined us, John, my headlines are working, it seems! This is a lovely entry, on a par with your stories for me. Thanks!! great read.

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  15. Kursaal (Episode Sixty) -- "Lucy's Legacy"

    Lucy Pepperdyne had gathered bluebells when she disappeared and Libby, her twin, wanted to plant a memorial garden. She shopped for seeds at "Eve's Oasis." Eve herself donated packets of Dwarf Cornflowers and Thumbelina Zinnias to Libby's cause.

    Libby chose a spot close to where Lucy's remains were found. She liked getting dirty and was happy digging. She missed Lucy but they had been very different in character and never close.

    A figure in ostentatious garb, sporting a red rubber nose. watched from nearby trees. It was déjà vu.

    The little girl was the absolute image of her twin sister.

    --------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
    http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
    ---------------------------------------------------------

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    1. And the soundtrack racks up the tension ... don't leave us on tenterhooks for too long.

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    2. Is it Pennywise? A very well done story, Dwarf Cornflowers and Thumbelina Zinnias, very good line.

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    3. Could be, Jeffrey. But you'd probably have to know more of the Kursaal's history to be sure on that point.

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    4. methinks a nastiness is creeping around the Kursaal, more than usual, I mean. Creepy episode, Patricia

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  16. Question answered without delay [Threshold 153]

    On the eve of my first meeting Raven I was a teenage rebel, swollen with the taken seed of a well-cocked but stupid swain who had let herself be uplifted – in the hope of alcohol and conversation – by half a dozen youths, the ostentation of whose parental wealth skewed their sense of entitlement, dwarfing mine to forelock-tugging servitude.

    I was slow to realise they intended me to be their sacrifice; Raven, my ebony-bulked Nemesis.

    Instead, Raven, repelled by their careless, sporting brutality, took on all six, despatching them in sixty seconds.

    Hardly surprising he took his grandmother’s man in six.

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    1. Methinks that Raven is a man to be reckoned with in more ways than one. Hate to be smug, but I knew he'd have to trouble with "his grandmother's man." As always, an amazing talent for moving a story forward with the minimum of effort...or so it seems!

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    2. "to trouble" should be "no trouble," of course.

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    3. a strong episode, full of images written out in words. Not easy to do but you do it time out of mind.

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  17. A very strong opening that's carried through to the end.

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  18. EXPLORER

    The stark contrast guaranteed by the tidal locking of the fifth planet orbiting the dwarf star provided the banded atmosphere with a certain grave dignity, layered with excitement and expectation: like a tuxedo-garbed teen skirting the dimly-lit lawn leading to the front door of his date to the Prom.
    Even the slight imperfections of atmospheric storms marring this ostentatious image served to authenticate it: acne atop pristine collar of white.
    The celestial wanderer – dubbed the Christmas Eve asteroid by humans in 2003 – swept into the gravitational eddies of the system, morphed into something decidedly more symmetrical, and began re-entry.

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    1. Oh - that 'tuxedo-garbed teen' is pure delight, and were all such Sci-Fi written this beautifully I could see myself becoming addicted. Such a large world portrayed in so few words.

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    2. Very nicely done. a tuxedo garbed teen...oh how I remember those days.

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    3. nice one, is this extending into a serial, Perry?

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    4. This certainly captured my imagination. My favourite quote has already been mentioned twice, so I won't beat it to death, but it was really just one of many. Love the idea of a "Christmas Eve asteroid."

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  19. Infinity 188.
    A cap’n needs to be ostentatious at times, like sailing into a new port, so I took fine clothes from the loot brought back last eve from the sunken merchantman. Some were fit for a dwarf, not a fine-set man like myself, but there were enough to fill the chest over again. It were time for new clothes.
    The crew had themselves a riotous time and were willing to swab down the decks, check the rigging, be sure the wreck had sunk before we collided with it and we were under way again, full sail, looking for more adventures.

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    1. An interlude, whilst looking both back and forward, and of course he needs to be flamboyantly dressed!

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    2. Jeffrey checking in before work.

      Edward Tech as a fine-set man. How magnanimous of him to say so. I loved that line. Many go shopping to feel better and how else would a pirate go shopping. Good use of the prompts.

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    3. And our Captain decks himself out in some new duds. Like he needs to make any more of an impression! I had to read this three times in order to catch all the prompt words. Thoroughly enjoyable piece...as always!

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  20. Who's Naughty or Nice

    "C'mon, it's Christmas Eve, you ain't gonna do this, right?"

    Truthfully, I hadn't decided.

    Our guest laughed nervously, the twentieth time. He was at his ostentatious best, red and green sweater under baggy jacket, ridiculous spectator shoes. We found him on the way to a party; he'd already gotten loaded, but sobered up pretty quick when he got here.

    "I'm afraid our problem dwarfs any concerns about holiday cheer."

    Another laugh, choked off.

    "And I promised Lew a present."

    I'd bought him a pair of cufflinks, but the way he cracked his knuckles told me he'd appreciate some knee-breaking too.

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    1. That last line is the perfect wrap-up to this. You never fail to bring us such a magnificent atmosphere.

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    2. Jeffrey here;

      A serial killer working on Christmas Eve, how quaint, scarry and traumatic and it only took me four reads to figure it out. Loved how you used the prompts.

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    3. Oh dear, he's not helping himself is he? I fear Lew is going to get lucky.

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    4. Oh, I like this. It's got a sinister undertone that's just perfect.

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  21. The Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #66
    A Replacement Spy


    It was the eve of the Great Festival of the Land of Rainbows, the most ostentatious of all the Lands’ Great Festivals. The leaders of the six regions bicker over their colors for months. Natasha and I are at the Banquet of Leaders, ostensibly part of the Leader of Teilio’s retinue, since our flag is blue. His other courtiers are all dwarfs. All six leaders know us, but we are strangers to their courtiers, one of the benefits of the pirate half of my title. Every court has spies from all the other courts, but they don’t know me yet.

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    1. How could they NOT know Rosebud? That is totally unthinkable and intolerable. I'm sure they'll regret the error of their ways quite soon. As unique as ever...as picturesque as always.

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    2. Jeffrey here;
      A pirate captain as master of spies, makes excellent sense and the fact they don't know her is, well to their disadvantage. Very nice installment.

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    3. 'Yet' A single final word erases the delicious innocence of this.

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