What an entertaining crop of entries
we’ve had this week, especially given the somewhat uncomfortable-together prompt
words. But wrestling them into something coherent and meaningful proved well
within everyone’s capabilities.
And so many further insights into so
many different worlds, from the piratical marine, of Rosie’s and Antonia, Jk’s galactic
and Patricia’s multi-peopled Kursaal and railway station – visiting them, becoming
familiar with each of them, is part of the joy. This week it is Zaiure’s gem of fantasy, Need [05] which
tops the list.
Words
for next week are: channel,
hike, petrichor
Entries by midnight Thursday
8th September, new words and winners posted on Friday 9th
Usual
rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all
of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or
noir. Serialized fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and use of the
words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or
Facebook or whichever social media.
Thank you! Always exciting to take the prize with so many outstanding writers. :) Looking forward to a new week!
ReplyDeletewell done :)
DeleteNo surprise that you topped the list with that one last week, Zaiure. And Sandra's description of this being a "gem" was spot on. Very much looking forward to more...as always!
Deletebrilliant writing, Zaiure, congratulations, looking for more from you.
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteSinners Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWhen I walked in the river, the radiant river that drove a channel through golden-brown forests and bestowing late-summer petrichor; yes, when I walked in that river, now wasn’t that a day?
“This is our song!” chanted robe-clad believers. “This is our world! These are our people!”
"Light of the world, why can’t I feel you on my upturned face, down my sun-bronzed neck, warm and strong?" I’ll do myself in someday.
“It’s happ’ning!” Such a wind that sent ghosts screaming through branches and hiking up devout skirts. Such a wind is a fish-hook in the gut to the unsaved.
Such a vivid world you've drawn here too, bdc - and a brutal final line.
DeleteWow, a wind indeed, blowing inpressions direct to the brain
DeleteA vivid, atmospheric scene. Loved the wording of the final two lines. 'Fish-hook in the gut' definitely creates a brutal, visceral connection.
Deletethere's an art in finding that killer last line, this one's just dead brilliant.
DeleteMagnificent composition of words, creating a vivid spectacle. As already mentioned more than once, that was one killer of a last line.
Deletelove the last line, if you see what I mean...
DeleteI very much enjoyed this piece, it's very mesmeric like the flow of the river. At first I was minded of the Song of Solomon. Not from the content, but more from the Rhythm of the delivery. Then that last line strikes so perfectly.
DeleteThanks guys. The things going through my head at the time were quite gospel, quite African-American spiritual, but I'll take the S.o.S. connection :) - its one of my favourite Bible passages (some of which formed readings at my wedding!) and I just happened to be idling through it the other day too - must have stuck!
DeleteChange of focus [197]
ReplyDeleteKhakbethia. Pettinger, then thirty-four, hadn’t intended visiting but three weeks enforced convalescence, £250 compensation and a serendipitous string of connections: cross-channel ferry to train to hitch-hiked long-distance lorry, had delivered him there.
Valdeta. No surname. As she said, she’d been about to change it.
But only admitted that after.
He thought he’d forgotten what she looked like, but not only did Aleks resemble her, his skin smelled as hers had, (she’d not thought petrichor a compliment!) Eyes, however, the same milk-pale jade as Pettinger’s.
‘Gently, ‘Why did you leave?’
‘Jake Cherriman said he’d kill her if you did not come.’
Loved how you described Aleks by smell. Sometimes we focus too much on visual cues, so it is always a nice, sharp surprise when the other senses are included. Grounded me into the scene. Also loved the description of his 'milk-pale jade' eyes.
Deleteit's difficult to use all the senses in so few words, but you got that in really well.
DeleteThis had more of a gentle and reflective tone than usual for this serialization and yet, the basic essence of the tale remains. This was just lovely.
DeleteIt's interesting you described the scent of a person as Petrichor, the word when I saw it at the beginning of this week brought to mind a carefree assignation or two from my past. Agree with Zaiure and Patricia's observations. a Very mellow instalment.
DeleteHoneymoon
ReplyDeleteA lightning fork stopped him in his tracks. He sniffed the air like a bearded god. Dion and Aria watched in silence as parched Elephant hide turned from brown to black. Heavy raindrops beyond pooled and channelled life into dormant shoots, and Petrichor teemed. Bride and groom continued their hike. It was done, the life-blood of ancient gods had returned.
Great opening line and well-set scene, Baz - I love the detail of the elephant hide changing colour.
DeleteWow, so atmospheric and succinct!
DeleteAtmospheric indeed! Can almost feel the lightning in the air. Loved the phrasing of the rain pooling and feeding hidden plant life.
Deletesuperb piece building such imagery.
DeleteNicely done with the imagery and use of the prompt words. There was an almost historical or biblical tone to this. The "Elephant hide" reference was inspired and meshed so well with the rest of the tale.
DeleteA fine piece that sets the scene in epic proportions, then goes on to deliver. I felt so quickly part of the story. Not an easy task in this shorter form.
DeleteRiders of the storm [Threshold 130]
ReplyDeleteInwardly, I screamed, What progeny?
He’d once told me he feared to breed, lest he channel the genetic pool from which came his odious brother.
Ravenscar led for three single-file, lurching hours, fiery heaviness ever-increasing, his shoulders rigid as a crucifix. When the storm-black sky loomed inevitable he kicked his horse to a gallop. First rain ignited what I knew would be sweet but short-lasting petrichor. When the heavens opened, I further hiked my dress, raced the elements, bare-legged and exhilarated. Reached the trees rain-soaked, breathless and hair-blind, near-colliding with him. Slid off and found myself tight within his arms.
I love rain, so your descriptions created a beautiful, stormy scene I could imagine vividly. Really loved the phrasing of the line 'When the heavens opened, I further hiked my dress, raced the elements, bare-legged and exhilarated' AND 'Reached the trees rain-soaked, breathless and hair-blind, near-colliding with him'. Gorgeous and wild. :)
DeleteSO much in this episode! wonderful descriptions.
DeleteThis installment was as much of an exhilarating ride as the words themselves. So much to love (and envy) here. I really enjoyed the underlying sense of romance and what a last line!
DeleteI think Zaiure best describes my thoughts, but I will have a stab at my own comment too. Passion and rain are a perfect combination, made ever better with the skill of your words.
DeleteCongratulations Zaiure, I just went back read last weeks episode and as Sandra said it is a gem. I found myself on the Isle of Wight last week, alas the promised wifi did not emerge so I was without Internet connectivity, Hence my radio silence. I'm back home now, so normal service will be resumed this week.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteGostegodd 005
ReplyDeleteMark hiked his carrysack crosswise over his shoulders, ready for the short freefall shuttle trip down to the planet, and to the unyielding Petrichor. The city complex was also called Stonesblood by those who came to make complex trades with it’s hard but slippery inhabitants.
He and the dozen others were channelled through the scanners at the shuttle door. Mark wasn’t entirely sure that his credentials would pass muster, but they were the best the Wrthiannau could make. If not, it was all over, and the implant on the palm of his left hand would be activated.
The suicide button.
(100 words excluding title)
https://jkdavies-dailywritingpractice.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Gostegodd
Nice to be reminded of 'pass muster', and 'Wrthiannu' the perfect name for forgers of documents. Love the entire promise/premise of this world.
DeleteA fascinating, cleverly crafted world. Loved the names, and the final line left the perfect, final thrum to the building tension.
Deletereally clever world building without info dumping. That takes skill.
DeleteSo many killer last lines this week. This one counts up there with the best of them. I totally agree with Antonia regarding the world building aspect. Very nicely done.
DeleteAs Antonia said, but also. In this genre (and particularly in this short form) building plausible worlds is a real skill, and you have it in spades. Great Job.
DeleteKursaal (Episode Thirty Six) -- "Ollie Newton"
ReplyDeleteOllie Newton operated the "Lazy River." High-sided vessels navigated intersecting channels, floating upon water permeated with petrichor oil.
The tall boats presented an ideal opportunity for Ollie to promote his sideline, the "Lovely Legs Beauty Pageant." Females were obliged to hike skirts in order to gain entry, thus presenting Ollie with a prime view.
Some of the chosen were reluctant to participate, citing various physical shortcomings, but Ollie insisted only upper thighs and parts below would be displayed, all else hidden behind a screen to ensure fair judging.
Flattered, many accepted his invitation.
Consequently, Ollie had quite an extensive collection.
--------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
This makes my skin crawl - and I somehow don't think petrichor oil would soothe it. Such an enviable imagination you have Patricia, allied to a skillful use of words.
DeleteDefinitely creepy with a suitably oily character. I agree with Sandra - your imagination and phrasing is definitely enviable! Always enjoy seeing where you take this story week after week. :)
Deletesuch nastiness going on here, cleverly described.
DeleteI didn't realise petrichor oil was a thin, but it actually is, I may have to buy some.
DeleteThat aside, have to agree with the crew such finely delivered nastiness. Ollie newton sounds the kind of chap that's cruising for a bruising.
The Rest Is Silence
ReplyDeleteThe hike had been exhausting, but the panorama worth the effort. As light rain fell, the couple huddled beneath a blanket, enjoying a picnic of fruit and smoked salmon parcels prepared by Adeline.
Ending relationships was never pleasant but Adeline liked to think she always managed to ease the final parting. The earth was fragrant with petrichor after the shower. She decided it was time to channel.
Reception was already weak. Adeline appreciated that signals required to penetrate six feet of freshly-dug dirt was probably difficult but she had expected more.
Shame.
She rather liked long goodbyes.
The title itself spine-chilling, and this a perfect example of your ability to evoke insidious creepiness along with a kick in the gut.
DeleteSandra said it perfectly - spine-chilling and insidiously creepy with a sharp, thrilling final line. You always manage to come up with the perfect title as well to set the scene. :)
Deleteoh yes, clever one, this!
DeleteSplendid. no other words.
DeleteTo Extend Sight [6]
ReplyDeleteShe’d left his hands bound, but merely to annoy him, and by the time they’d reached the top of the rocky hill, Arshad had dropped the rope somewhere along the trail. The hike had covered both of them in sweat, and Olivare scraped fingers through her damp, wind-tangled hair, as she surveyed the lights of Alatashara far below.
“I find it easier to channel up here, away from all the noise,” Olivare said.
Arshad nodded, watching as her eyes filmed to white. Energy thrummed around them, and the scent of burning cinnamon replaced the lingering petrichor from the morning’s storm.
Oh, so smooth, both the telling of this passage and your insertion of the prompts. And an intriguing but telling first sentence.
Deletegood first sentences are as tough to write as the last ones. This works on all levels.
DeleteAnother amazing episode that leads us along so nicely. The serializations here are always so gripping, ending on a high if nail-biting note. This one is no exception.
DeleteHad to go back to find two of the prompts, very smoothly done.
DeleteThanks everyone! Always happy when it resonates. :)
DeleteInfinity 163
ReplyDeleteWe docked at some nameless island after sailing some distance with our battered sails. I hoped for a sailmaker and got lucky, found a decent one after a hike half across the land, rich with that strange scent, the one they call petrichor and I better not say that around the crew, they think their cap’n already knows too much. Well, I does but I keeps it to myself. I knows I channel some of this from thems on the other side and that be sommat else to keep quiet about. Seems I might get my alpha sails after all.
So strong and tight-woven, your evocation of the Captain's world, each episode moves the tale on without faltering. One of my favourites I think.
DeleteI love installments where the Captain is introspective and we also get a closer peek into the intricacies of his character. I like the reference to him being a channeler. It's just so appropriate.
DeleteAn excellent telling and a great insight in to the captains character.
DeleteI agree with Patricia, love the channeling reference and hearing about his unique talents. Definitely have to walk carefully around the crew!
Deleteit's been a strange week already, complicated by that race of people known as M-E-N who don't stop to think. So there he is, my partner in the shop, out buying, goes down to the river (not on the schedule, not in the plans) gets starter motor problems, doesn't remember he has to pick his daughter up from school (her first day in a new school, no less) or that I would like/need to know where he is to tell customers who want to speak to him about things and all this while the phone is left in the car and he is off doing something about the motor... am I wrong in thinking mobile phones are there so you can be mobile and stay in touch?????
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Anonycat's story is coming along well, around such things as waste of time doctor's appt. (she wanted me to take a bp pill whose side effects included shortness of breath, swollen ankles and feet, headache, vomiting and potential kidney damage. I went to the doctor in the first place because of shortness of breath and swollen feet and ankles. I have daily migraines and am often sick with them. Now do I want this pesky pill? I spent half an hour this morning writing to her to say No Thanks and how about I choose which pill might be good for me and not you?
And, quick side comment, at the hospital the bp monitor was SO tight round my arm I nearly screamed at him to take it off NOW. And the reading was sky high, 210-160. Of course it was, with that pressure waiting to be released. In the surgery last night it was 148 - 80. Who needs hospital doctors who do that? How many people are taking unnecessary possibly dangerous bp pills when they don't need them? Drug companies are laughing all the way to the bank.
I'm out tomorrow evening, sitting in a transfiguration circle. I love this, we see so much, learn so much, experience the power of the eight of us joining our energy together. I will get to any other entries on Friday morning, you won't be left out!!
I was on the Island last week, and did try to find your shop to say hello, but alas time was not on our side.
DeleteSorry you've had such a crazy, difficult week! Lots of good energy to you and hope the weekend is kind and relaxing.
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 61-On The Wrong Track
ReplyDeleteHamnet knew his job at Elsie's Dairy was a lost cause. He'd probably already been sacked. All he wanted now was to go home. His delivery trolley had been confiscated, he'd seen people hauled away to...who knew where? And been terrorized by a wild-eyed waitress brandishing a bread knife.
Thrice he'd exited the station following railroad tracks, only to arrive back where he'd started. Each time had been quite a hike. It was an endless loop and he was totally knackered.
Yet another mystery was, even though he'd waded through channels of petichor-scented rainwater, Cripplegate Junction itself remained perfectly dry.
--------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
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Mysterious indeed. Don't know why but I have a soft spot for Hamnet.
DeleteHe seems to come across as a sympathetic character. I picture him as being quite young...probably in his late teens. A youth who had no idea what he was getting into and is now having a hell of a time finding a way out. And he was just trying to do his job and deliver supplies! Poor Hamnet. (Insert devious snicker...)
DeleteHad a giggle at "It was an endless loop and he was totally knackered" probably because this evening I know how I feel too.
DeletePoor Hamnet indeed.
Definitely comes across sympathetic, and I hope he escapes the loop! Loved the imagery of the knife-wielding waitress. :)
DeleteThe Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #41
ReplyDeleteA Summer’s Day
After the rain-dust settled we continued along the channel, wandering between hills. I had hoped to find more of those blue trees but they seem to only grow on that one mountain. These hills are full of fire trees and smoke bushes, they’ve already overpowered the petrichor of the clearings. The weather is lovely this time of year, perfect for outdoor activities, even hiking, for those lacking in flying capabilities. Natasha is not fond of the fire trees, but I like them. Every now and again one sends embers towards Natasha’s sails, but usually they’re well behaved and quite brilliant.
Beautiful imagery, which is rather becoming your trademark, I think. Very easy reading and impeccable use of imagination.
DeleteDream-like but told with a clarity which dreams rarely have. I like the fire trees and smoke bushes.
DeleteLove the idea of fire trees and smoke bushes. a Lovely tale.
DeleteLoved the interesting flora and your names for them. :)
DeleteApologies, so very tied up with a crisis in work world this week. No time to comment or make an entry this week I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteAs it happens I have a brief moment awaiting parts to site, so will at least attempt to comment.
DeleteSadly back to work, a motorcycle courier has arrived on site with parts.
DeleteManaged to get at least something rattled out in last minute While I await results of my colleagues labours.
ReplyDeleteFalse memory.
We walked as friends, discussing political themes,
back then you were the girl of my dreams.
The last rains of summer fell heavily on our town,
We ran to find shelter like rats we were drowned
The petrichor and the scent of your channel no 5
I look into your eyes and for the first time felt alive.
I kissed you waiting to be told “Take a hike”
or “Not you, on your Bike”
There was none of that though , because you were never there,
I walked in loneliness lost in my despair.
Always enjoy when you treat us to poetry. It always flows smoothly; a multi-toned story with depth.
DeleteHeroic effort William - especially after such a day as you had, and taking the trouble to comment so thoroughly too - and this tinged with such desperate sadness.
DeleteAwwww. Reminiscent of one of my favorite songs from my wayward days in "swinging London" -- The Zombies' "She's Not There." So glad you were able to favor us with such a delightful if somewhat melancholy entry.
ReplyDelete