Friday 29 April 2016

Maybe bold and tricky better than too bland

Antonia, Chris and William might concur with this.
I looked back at the prompts offered in 2012 by Lily Childs (Prediction’s originator - check out http://lilychildsfeardom.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/lilys-friday-prediction.html for a taste) and Phil Ambler. Rarely were they innocuous or multi-interpretable as have been offered here lately, and I’m wondering whether stronger, less compromising words might be better received. To which end I plan to separate and stir and occasionally re-offer some of these old ones for a bit and see what happens.

That said, this week’s planned words are challenging enough for me to have to look up the meaning of one of them! And, bland words or not, you all managed to make something entertaining. By the usual whisker, for the lightness of his rhymes and the weightiness of his message I declare  William’s  ‘Bitter Illusion’ this week’s winner.

Words for the coming week are: bracket, diagnose, ludic

Entries by midnight Thursday 5th May , new words and winners posted on Friday 6th

Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialized fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and use of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever so

46 comments:

  1. Woah, I wasn't expecting that. Chuffed as chips. Thank you. I think the toughness of the words some weeks ( for me certainly) is trying to keep a tight rein on the muse without coming across contrived, and certainly in the poetic form not being repetitive. For example I noticed this is the second time I've paired mattered with shattered. I'm loving ludic this week.

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  2. Oops. Forgot to mention the stunning array of talent I have the joy of reading each week, looking forward to coming out to play with you this week.

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  3. Nicely done, William. And very well deserved.

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  4. Sunshine and cloud

    Marietta rested under the same oak where Jeremy had proposed so many years ago.

    Her knees were drawn to her chest, bracketing the idyllic scene beyond. She coughed.

    Angeline ran at top speed after her new puppy. The two capered in ludic harmony.

    Marietta smiled, deciding then to keep the diagnosis to herself.

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    1. Horror clothed in normality, Chris, poignant stuff.

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    2. quite beautiful. So understated, where others would go into sugary tears. Brilliant.

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    3. Beautifully poignant moment in time. This is the type of scenario that lingers and strengthens during the hardest times. Magnificent composition.

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    4. I am moved to tears, by this piece.

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  5. Kursaal (Episode Nineteen) -- "Charlotte Fitzroy"

    Charlotte Fitzroy was the manageress and owner of "Lottie's Larder," the Kursaal's only outdoor café. Charlotte specialized in exotic edibles and elixirs: crickets-on-a-stick, balut and herbal tea made from bracket mushrooms, the latter reported to be medicinally beneficial to those diagnosed with intestinal parasites.

    Most patrons found the items on Charlotte's menu to be ludicrously overpriced and the fungal brew in particular was obnoxiously bitter. Charlotte acknowledged that the libation was an acquired taste.

    "The unusual flavour lingers on the palette rather like strychnine," she informed her customers with a charming smile. "Or so I've often been told."


    ---------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
    http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
    ---------------------------------------------------------

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    1. Goodness, this is both poetic and clever. And a joy to read. Well done Patricia.

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    2. Balut tea - agh! I might throw up a little! Love the descriptions here.

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    3. crickets on a stick, ugh! other than that, great evocation of this character.

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    4. I have eaten some of the exotic Crocodile, Kangaroo, Ostrich, but "Crickets on a Stick." I love how you have drawn this character.

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  6. Change of focus [177]

    Lack of comment in the national newspapers was more than made up for by the front page of the local. For once Pettinger fully appreciated the ludic humour of its editor, evident in his bracketing of the photograph of handbag-brandishing women above a headline screaming “JEZEBEL VICTORIOUS” beneath which he’d placed individual, happy photos of the five dead women.
    On arrival at the station, DC Moth diagnosed his mirth, and promptly punctured it.
    ‘Two more –‘
    Two? With or without –?‘
    ‘Crosswords, aye. Same MO –’
    ‘The clues?’
    ‘”Floozy” and “Geisha”’
    ‘Geisha’s not a prozzy –‘
    ‘Murderer doesn’t know that.’

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    1. The dialogue in this crackles. Nice use of the prompts, too!

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    2. yes it does crackle! Thing is, geisha means floozy to a lot of Westerners who don't know any different, so it all fits well into this instalment. Good one.

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    3. I look forward to these installments with much relish. The interaction between Pettinger and DC Moth is priceless. Loved that last statement.

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    4. An excellent instalment, I also love the interplay between Pettinger and Moth

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  7. Cripplegate Junction/Part 44-Wards And Watchers

    When apart, Alice and Christopher were fidgety children. When bracketed together, however, Miss Constance believed a diagnosis of St. Vitus Dance would not have been inappropriate. Their ludic playtimes often led to unacceptable behavior, which Constance refused to tolerate and dealt with accordingly.

    Thus, it was with amazed annoyance that Constance noted Christopher's objectionable agitation as she and her two young charges moved along the platform.

    "Look, Alice," said Christopher pointing (yet another reprehensible practice). "That soldier was in the Waiting Room with me!"

    Constance was concerned.

    If George had left his post, then who was guarding the Grande Dame?


    ---------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
    http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
    ---------------------------------------------------------





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    1. Once again I am delighted with a reference to something I'd forgotten evoked in this wonderful piece so redolent of its time "It's rude to point" - oh yes!
      And I'm glad that George has reappeared.

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    2. I'm loving this word, Sandra - "ludic" - it really does set the mind spinning with pictures - case in point, the capering children in this superb slice of life.

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    3. I still see people stopping their kids from pointing, thank goodness, some manners still remain, even in fiction! Nice instalment. And yes, good to see George again.

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    4. I love the multi-facetedness of this series and this episode adds yet another dimension

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  8. Surprise, surprise! [Threshold 112]

    The man whose arm had wrapped my neck and pulled me backwards dismounted gracefully; stood bracketed by the mounted other two.

    Ravenscar, throughout the journey dour and heavy with unspoken accusations intended for my ears, balefully regarded them. Met my eyes, shining with the confidence, three to one, he’d easy rescue me.
    With what I took as ludic arrogance, he laughed. They, diagnosing madness, matched it. Anticipated the launching of a one-armed attack; prepared to parry. Only to be taken by surprise when, seizing the bridle of my now-unladen horse, Ravenscar rode at speed across the bridge.
    Leaving me behind.

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    1. There is dark comedy in this. It seems like Ravenscar wouldn't SAY "Welp... SEE YA", but that's what my mind said after that last line. Good piece. :)

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    2. I thought more people would go for ludicrous, pleased to see how many times ludic appears as it should, even though Word doesn't like it.
      This is an unusually good instalment, very tightly written, with many layers of subtle writing to sift through. Nice one.

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    3. Now this I did not expect! I still can't believe Ravenscar would leave like that, thought it's obvious that recent events are weighing heavily on his mind. Regardless, he will return....I'm sure of it! (Fingers crossed)

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    4. He did what ! an Excellent turn of the tale

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  9. Square Peg...Round Hole

    He had no place in any accepted social bracket. He wasn't a jock; he wasn't a nerd; he wasn't popular. His ludic attempts at entertainment were met with rejection, ridicule or, even worse, indifference.

    Diagnosis: Outcast
    Prognosis: Incurable

    The key to the gun cabinet was easy to find.
    He didn't seek revenge, only acceptance.

    He rested the barrel of the revolver against the roof of his mouth.
    If not in this world.
    And pulled the trigger.
    Then in the next.

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    1. Uncompromising, hard-hitting and, as Chris says, stark. A very effective voice in this.

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    2. simplistic in its rendering and startling in its content.

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    3. At the start I recognised a little man I once knew from a reflection in the mirror.
      Then the piece turned a darker corner, and he was released. A very stark rendition

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  10. Damn - so stark, so affecting! Well done.

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  11. Infinity 145
    It were my turn at the wheel last night. I was brooding on this thing, ludic as it is, it be dark at the same time. Do I bracket it with the Creature or be it sommat else come to plague me? But when did I ever think these here journeys would be trouble-free? Life baint like that. Thems as knows would diagnose a swift return to Shipton and a dull, boring life; take away the troubles that plague but would life be worth living if we did? Is it not better to fight the demons that invade our dreams?

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    1. For me, the passages with the Captain in philosophical mood are the strongest, and this one of the best.

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    2. Here is our Captain asking questions of himself to which he already knows the answers. I've had something of a sneaking feeling all along that we probably haven't heard the last of the Creature though. I may yet be proved correct.

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    3. The Captain proving it's lonely at the top but worth the trouble, an excellent portrait of the brooding fear within.

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  12. Congrats to William, kudos to everyone else for fine entries. Back tomorrow to comment, just wanted to get the Captain's offering done before I close down tonight and go sit with my cats...

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    1. Thanks Antonia. It's been a mixed bag of a hectic week. Had a great time camping over the extended weekend, then week one of intro to screenwriting course with UEA has made me busy beyond belief. On the bad side I've badly scolded my leg in a coffee dowsing incident, and now I'm up to my ears in brown water after our dishwasher expired with exploding crackle and electrical burning smell taking the fuse box with it). I hope to be back to comment, but chance of an entry this week is slim.

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  13. Ok, comments are done - all caught up. Seriously, ran into a bad mood on the way home, must have seeped into the car or something. I've been snarling on Linkedin and the paranormal site, so I came here for some sensible comments and outstanding writing. I got it too, so thank you all for that!

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  14. Ok so being up to my armpits in slurry and the agony of burnt chapped and blistered skin did inspire something. Apologies for the coarse and angry language of this piece.

    If only Anger could be Spared.

    “Fuck You!”
    With that your ludic heart was gone.
    It was a long time coming
    with multiple warning signs that it was time to give in,
    and let you move on.

    “I hate You!”
    Oh to have the gift of foresight
    and diagnose your pain
    help to set you on a straightened path,
    so you could be with us again.

    “We miss you!”
    Your face gaunt and ashen,
    no more sunshine smile
    to wrap our day in xanthic brackets.
    Just your truancy of life and your scent upon our jackets.

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    1. Well done for this, despite external diversions and trauma, and what exotic use of the prompts that trauma has allowed you. Thank you William.

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  15. Much passion in this wonderful piece. I envy your talent.

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  16. The Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #23
    Not Even a Flesh Wound


    You wouldn’t think a bit of ludic activity would be dangerous, but then, you’ve probably never played tag with a flying yurt. One mistimed dodge of a tree branch and a bit of railing, with the bracket still on it, came flying off Natasha’s side. I ran right into its trajectory trying to tag Natasha. Fortunately it knocked me back into an old leaf pile. The doctor said if I had landed anywhere else she wouldn’t be diagnosing minor bruises. Natasha still seems to think it was her fault, she doesn’t believe me when I say it was an accident.

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    1. Wow - a flying yurt and at last a use for 'bracket' I'd hoped to explore but never did. Superbly-described action in this.

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