Friday 16 October 2015

Shocking - real and imaginary

Yes. Here we deliberately set out to shock, the ‘rules’ requiring us to write in specific genres so as to do so, but we do so for pleasure, to entertain and because of some sort of writerly compulsion. Last week, for Antonia, Real Life stepped in and demonstrated how much more of a shock it can deliver, but also that writing can be a palliative, if not a cure. 
Not that it cures everything, as the illegal immigrants who this week climbed into the back of a lorry must have found, when they discovered themselves sharing space with a polar bear.

The shock that Bill delivered wins him first place, but Antonia’s brave despatch of the Creature deserves special mention, and thanks are due to Michael for his directing me to onion futures.

Words for the coming week are: alphabet, dairy, vigil

Entries by midnight Thursday October 22nd , new words and winners posted on Friday 23rd


Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialized fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and use of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media best pleases you and, if you like, remind your friends that we are open to new and returning writers.

40 comments:

  1. Change of focus [149]

    Emerging, hours later, into the half-light of a new dawn, Pettinger had anticipated the line of dusty, slumped bouquets; not the numbers stood in silent, monochrome vigil. A woman stepped out, approached him, coat swinging open to reveal an alphabet-decorated T-shirt whose primary colours contrasted with the sombreness of her expression.
    The whine of Elton Dairy’s milk-float drowned her first words – he had to ask her to repeat her question – before realising his deafness was a residue of the blast.
    ‘Stephanie. Is she dead?’
    ‘Stephanie?’ There’d been no-one of that name. ‘Sorry –‘
    ‘He said she had to be there.’

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    1. Brimming with suspense and I love that she had an alphabet-decorated T-shirt in primary colours, so not fitting with the rest of the piece and thus, fitting so perfectly. I hope that makes sense. It's a good thing...!!! I'm not going to continue week after week declaring how amazed I am that you always pull these off with extraordinary flair. So, from this point on, you can take that as a given.

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    2. Okay Patricia, *blushes modestly* I'll do my best, but, as you may have discovered for yourself (since you exhibit at least an equal amount of flair) it's far easier not to have to invent new characters each week.

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    3. clever writing, clever use of the prompts.Brilliant.

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  2. Cripplegate Junction/Part 17-Messages And Missions
    (100 Words)

    "Uncooperative," said the Station Master regretfully. "Only one course of action remains."

    Through the rear door of the Canteen labeled "Pantry," the Porter from Elsie's Dairy emerged. He pushed a padded trolley with thick leather straps. The letters comprising "Pantry" performed an erratic alphabetical jig before finally settling on the word "Asylum," as indicated once before.

    A scrap of paper fluttered through the window of the Grand Dame's carriage. She read the message before depositing it into her carpet bag. Apparently, her vigil was at an end. She violently shook the sleeping boy.

    "Wake up. It is time to go."


    ---------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit: http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
    ---------------------------------------------------------

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    1. Love the 'alphabetical jig' and the powerful image of the carpet bag. You are able to convince us of random happenings in the manner of a children's book - a skill I assumed was lost once grown up - hats off to you, Patricia.

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    2. good one! Again, clever use of the prompts.

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  3. This Bird Has Flown
    (100 Words)

    The room above the abandoned dairy should be her sanctuary; instead, it is her personal hell. She hugs the ragged bear. He is frightened. She croons the Alphabet Song and wipes his cheek with a grubby handkerchief.

    At the creak of a broken stair, she shields her head with bruised and battered arms. When it is over, she covers herself with a faded baby blanket and falls fitfully asleep.

    The bear maintains his vigil until the sun creeps over the windowsill. Fluttering above the moth-eaten rug is the white feather of a guardian angel's wing.

    This tiny bird has flown.

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    1. So very clever this - leaving the reader to apply his own version of horror in contrast to the tattered innocence - and the ending painful relief.

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    2. this is heartbreak under a layer of 'you know what I'm talking about' which is difficult to do well and this has been done remarkably well. Never doubt your talent, it's there.

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  4. Many congratulations to Bill and Antonia for their win/mention. And a special thank you to Michael who also spurred me into "googling" something I hadn't heard of before.

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  5. A week to heal, then ... [Threshold 85]

    A week which covered – anxiety to zig-zagging optimism – an alphabet of emotion. Sensation. His planning, discussing, deciding. My offering – he accepting – increasingly useful practical suggestions as I learned where he was aimed. His unhidden delight in my abilities. His fear that, like a ripe-bosomed dairy-maid with no more intelligence than the cows she milked, I might take advantage.
    Knowing he was right to fear so led me to keep vigil over my face, my heart.
    My breathing, when he stood near.
    And my tongue, for he never spoke a word of his plans for me, and I dared not ask.

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    1. I do believe there is a definite undercurrent of sensuality here, which is delicious. I had to reread a couple of times to make sure that was what I was picking up on and I'm pretty sure I'm correct. I must admit, I've read this more than once now and still have trouble finding the prompt words -- sure sign of a true little gem.

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    2. got to agree with you, Patricia, it's delightfully and carefully done!

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  6. A belated thanks, and a promise that I will have something this week - I'm just not happy with it yet. Hopefully soon...

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  7. Congratulations to Bill and Antonia.

    I'm sorry for your loss Antonia. Many people say that there are no words that can give comfort in a time of grief, but we here know that all you have to do is find the right ones.

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  8. The Immortal 13

    “Excuse me. I’m looking for a Sandalphon Holliway.” I was in the hospital on 24th Street. The envelope entailed a name and a work address.

    A big breasted secretary sat at the main desk. I hoped the dairymaid could help me. “You mean Sandy? Oncology department. Elevators are down the corridor, third floor.”

    She? Wasn’t expecting a woman. Not that it mattered.

    On the third floor, I kept vigil in a seating area. A little kid sat a few seats away repeating the alphabet song on an endless loop. I was about to snap when I heard someone say ‘Sandy’.

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  9. "alphabet song on an endless loop" - love that idea!

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    1. Lovely continuation. Adored the comparison of a "big breasted secretary" to that of a "dairymaid" (what an image that conjures) and what an inspired use of that particular word prompt. Any way you could churn out a second installment this week? I would even overlook the non-use of prompts if it meant I could devour more.

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    2. Ahem, if you add another intallment, you still have to use the prompts I'm afraid.

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    3. I've often thought about writing more than one installment or maybe a different short story, but some of these prompts are really hard to connect. I love reading how everyone else does it, but I don't think I could make it work more than once. :)

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    4. When writing 'The Blacksmith's Wife' (first of my serials) I did used to occasionally do two episodes from the same prompt, but as a continuation, especially if the prompts were very obvious, their re-use could be unsatisfactory,
      One-off short stories usually have to clamour for attention for me to attempt one.

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    5. Interesting perspectives as always - I look at the episodic stories and think to myself that I could never figure out a way to continue the theme while incorporating the prompts. Every set of words says something different to me, and as you can see from my entries, there's almost never anything in common between weeks.

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  10. The board: alphabet, numbers, YES, NO, GOODBYE.

    The girls sit around it, all but one.

    "It's a silly game."

    "C'mon, Audrey, it's not really a vigil, just fun."

    "Whatever, I'm reading my book."

    Nervous smiles as they begin...

    "Speak, oh spirit! Tell us what we fear to know!"

    Nothing, a sigh of relief, then movement... L-O-O-K

    In-drawn breaths as words come faster... I-N A-U-D-R-E-Y-S D-A-I-R-Y.

    Relief: "I've read Audrey's diary, it's all silly stuff. Forget this, let's watch TV."

    Behind her book, Audrey scowls. Her secret bovine laboratory is safe, but this is a new threat to be dealt with.

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  11. This was a very unique take on the prompts and I like how "Dairy" was taken to be "Diary." At first, I thought....oh no, he read the prompt wrong. DUH...!!! I do wonder what Audrey might be up to in her "secret bovine laboratory" though. Certainly sounds like nothing good, that's for sure. Lovely undercurrent of evil to this. Nicely done. Having experimented with a ouija board in my younger years, I can testify to the fact that it can get obsessive and not a little spooky. And coming down from the past, I can still hear us chanting: "Is there anybody there? If there's anybody there, please answer." If I recall correctly, somebody did ... several times ... and we ended up scaring the daylights out of each other. I'd still love to know who pushed that damn planchette.

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    1. Patricia says it all: unique, clever and evil. What a multi-directional and vivid imagination you have Bill, and how skillful to depict it so realistically..

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    2. I *did* read the prompt wrong the first time, and thought, "Oh, diary, what a great word!" Then realized it wasn't going to be so easy. I wrote three stories for this set of prompts; one had no punch, another couldn't be trimmed to fit. I had a fourth in mind that I didn't write because it would be way too long. This particular one took a lot of work to squeeze into 100 words; if I had another twenty I think I could have made it stronger. But them's the rules...

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    3. Yup, Bill, them's the rules. And If I had £1 for every time I'd mis-read the prompt, written and posted the result, I'd've been a couple of bottles of wine the richer. :-)

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    4. good one, really excellent. I have used the board many times, we use a glass, fingers resting on the base, and we know we can't move a glass with one finger, not as fast as the spirits whizz it round the letters! So, I can appreciate the subtle menace under this one.

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  12. Having just said that I don't think I could write more than one story with the same prompts, I was struck with an idea. Sorry Patricia, it's not part of my Immortal series. ;)

    Hercules

    Life was peaceful on the dairy farm. The cows grazed and became fat. Then they were slaughtered. It was the circle of life.

    One day, a calf was born. The farmer’s daughter loved the little thing like no other before. She named him Hercules, imagining him to one day be the strongest of all the bulls.

    She spent every day with him and taught him the alphabet. Soon he began to read other things. Once old enough, Hercules finally understood what was going on. He began his vigil, waiting for the right moment to strike and avenge the fallen cows.

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    1. I flinched at the end of this, lulled by the sweet innocence of the phrasing, then Wham! As has been said before, there's so much pleasure, and much to be learned from how others deal with the same three words.

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  13. Superb story of revenge. Love it! And what an amazing choice of name for a bull. This was a very creative use of the prompts. I always find it fascinating how the provided words can inspire such variance in creation of the stories and no two are ever alike. I think that's one of the things I find so delightful about these weekly challenges.

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    1. this was simplistic to draw you in and then wham, an ending to take you back into the real world. Clever.

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  14. thanks for the accolade last week, thanks for all the kind words. It's surprising how comforting they are. I just got in from the funeral directors where I dropped off a complete outfit for my man to wear when he returns from Winchester having been autopsied. They still don't know why he died but we're free to go ahead with the funeral, with winding down the estate, etc. etc. etc. I feel -empty right now. Oh, he was shipped to Winchester as all bodies are who need a full tests and all autopsy because, among other reasons, we have no Coroner on the island. One comes from London once a month... living in the past takes on a whole new meaning when things like that are thrown at you. They also can't do the tests here...

    Anyway, onward. Writing, life, shop has to go on. I can't count how many people have asked if we're keeping the shop going, as if we would give up our livelihood! It was signed over to us two years ago. We are determined to make it the best second hand shop on the island.

    And I came home to write my instalment with the Captain, who is sympathetic but tells me to toughen up and get on with it... He said he would say 'man up' but I'm female and 'woman up' sounds wrong, so he settled for toughen up...

    Infinity 119.
    I kept vigil all night and it paid this cap’n to do that, the first breath of wind that stirred Infinity’s sails got me calling the crew from their dreams of dairy – women’s attributes – to man the sails and take the wheel and get us the hell out of these waters. None can recite their alphabet but they shimmy up the rigging like the Creature be after them. Tis good for their peace of mind they don’t know of it.
    We must be gone before the tricksy man turns on the Infinity. I paid well but sometimes it baint enough.

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    1. I've (jokingly) accused you in the past for having fore-knowledge of the prompts as the only explanation for how you make them tailor-made to fit Infinity. Now I have to admit that you are simply a supremely skilled writer. Such a lot of pleasure from this atmospheric episode.

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    2. This was an absolutely superb installment. The use of the prompts is inspired and inspiring. I particularly like the manner in which "dairy" was used. It fits so well with the images which would meander through the minds (and dreams) of sailors deprived of female companionship (I'm being delicate here) for any length of time. That Cap'n of yours is some skilled writer!

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    3. thank you!
      Kai, when you have a story in your head, the prompts actually write the next instalment for you. When I began this collaboration with Cap'n Edward Teach, I don't think either of us knew where the story was truly going, he and I look at the prompts, look at each other and say 'let's go!' and the next instalment materialises, leaving me wondering where we will go next week...

      I started The Skullface Chronicles initially through the prompts - the words that week were myopic, chamber and escape. From that I conceived Skullface escaping from the mole's chamber into Firestone Copse here on the island - but then he outgrew his allocated 100 words and four months later the novel was finished... it's been invaluable for me to take part in this challenge for so long - honing the writing, giving me ideas.

      It's 2.30 AM. I've just written the first draft of my eulogy for my partner and friend. Sleep defies me when I want to get something sorted...

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