Colleen assured me the hardest part of hosting
this site was the choosing a winner. In theory I understood that, having seen
how each and every week throws up a variety of interpretations, and ways of
using (and sometimes abusing) three simple words. What I didn’t appreciate was
the difficulty of NOT choosing the rest.
I have no especial rules which I regularly
apply; each week it is what most takes my fancy, has a memorable impact.
Sometimes there’s three or four, then I can allow runners up. This week I have
a winner – Zaiure for this week’s episode of Falcon – but the rest of you are too close to call, although Fergus
and Michael B Fletcher deserve special mention for their impressive brevity.
Next week’s words are: estranged,
interest, toast
Entries
by midnight Thursday 27th August,
new words and winners posted on Friday 28th
Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding
title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the
genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialized fiction is, as
always, welcome. All variants and use of the words and stems are fine. Feel
free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social
media best pleases you and, if you like, remind your friends that we are open
to new and returning writers.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCvlM17dMMo]
Well done Zaiure and Sandra....
ReplyDeleteClosed Doors.
That's the way to do it.
That's the way to do it.
Let's drink a last and empty toast to this, our most private crime,
Since this has been the most leisurely of murders
Well-hidden from the public eye.
So here's to the two assassins
The Punch and Judy
Who sliced at their victim, word by bloody word.
Estranged? Such a strange word
For the malign disinterest that composed
The grey residue of the decomposed body.
The short shadow of our not-so-eternal love.
That's the way to do it.
That's the way to do it.
And that is the way to do it Mashie! Taps into a long-suppressed fear and nastiness. Very well done.
DeleteI like the repetitions. They awakened my interest at the beginning and completed the crazy picture I now have of the two, at the end.
DeleteNot-so-eternal love - isn't that always the way? Very nicely done, indeed.
DeleteMashie, this is noir, subtle, and thought provoking on a silent truth. Great use of the three words. Loved the repeated lines, the position of ‘Punch and Judy’, and the great use of half rhymes. Wish I’d written it. ☺
ReplyDeleteRed Ruth - nothing to stoop you trying to better it - I'm sure you can.
DeleteLiked the rhyming using Punch and Judy - nice macabre take on this. It engages the reader
Deletevery cleverly done, bringing truths through in this way is so good. Liked it a lot.
DeleteThe Quarry
ReplyDeleteExplosions of blue light disco up the quarry wall as rain dances across DS Jack Granite's umbrella and Bill Tanner finishes erecting a police tent.
'What've we got?'
'Estranged wife of the DCI. Well most of her.'
'Fuck. Anybody told him?'
'Nope.'
'Fuck.' Jack looks at the human puddle. 'How do you know it's Cathy?'
Bill folds an entire piece of toast into his gob and picks up a leg. 'She had an interest in entomology. Sam told me once she'd had a praying mantis tattooed on her arse.'
'Fuck. Okay where's Sam now?'
'There, there, there and there.'
'Fuck!'
Welcome Pinks - and you've kicked off with a proper, gruesome flying start (and a helluva of a final line)
DeleteReally liked this. Great work on the setting and I like the feel you get for the characters.
DeleteThat next to last line packs a wallop in the visuals. Oh my, this is a powerful little piece.
DeleteReads like the opening of a great book
ReplyDeleteCheers Sandra and you to Mashie. I thought your use of poetry was great, although I must admit i'm not well versed.
DeleteUsing characters from my current WIP made mine easier to write.
Had to chuckle at this one. As Mashie says it's like the opening of a great book.
Deletelove your limited vocabulary characters, they're very real! I know quite a lot of people like this, they come into the shop just to talk and pepper their talk that way.
DeleteHope to see more from you.
Too stupidly optimistic [Threshold 78
ReplyDeleteNot since I’d led him into Burk’s parents’ house – comforting smell of breakfast toast stark contrast to the six-body massacre he’d perpetrated outside – had Ravenscar been this passive.
As then – him guiding me through childbirth (which I’d ever blamed for his subsequent disinterest in my body) – it was short-lived.
‘We need go west.’
Even knowing him to be estranged from his people I disagreed. Stubborn, ‘I want to see my son.’
More angry than seemed reasonable, ‘By Neptune, you blow hot and cold with motherhood!’
I persisted, turning to read his face.
Knew, before he said, ‘Your son is dead.’
Enjoy the way you continue the Ravenscar story using the prompts - they seem to go seamlessly. Each short story tends to stand on its own.
Deleteanother excellent instalment. The standard never drops.
DeleteGood entry. Reminds me once more that I still want to read everything that came before. ;)
DeleteThat subsequent disinterest remark is very strong. I'm sure many men feel it, but don't like to say it (1. because it's small-minded, and 2. because it requires more than self-awareness), but when the woman voices notice, it will certainly loom large forever after. Excellent writing.
DeleteChange of focus [141]
ReplyDeleteShown into the presence of the now fully-clad prince, DI John Pettinger permitted himself a smirk.
It didn’t go unnoticed. Handing him a single malt which spoke of toasted oats and well-smoked peat, Prince said, ‘I’ve kept my part of the bargain. Time now to keep yours. Vladlina.’
‘Vladlina is not, er, a suitable –‘
Amused, ‘I’m interested in bedding, not wedding her! Tell me about her family.’
Ditching diplomacy, ‘Thoroughly depraved. Estranged for the most part. And madness rife. You do realise she intended you to impregnate her?’
Colour fast drained from Prince’s face. Downing his whisky, ‘Not another!’
I dare say he had another whisky just as quickly. Love this part of the story - good dialogue and illustration of shock.
Deleteoh, nice twist to the ongoing Pettinger saga, now what????
DeleteI really like your dialogue and the portrayal of the characters. Good stuff. ;)
DeleteDitching diplomacy usually provides a recipe for disaster or at least for dissatisfaction. Noted, more and more your characters speak their mind without much regard for consequences, and you offer a most interesting ride.
DeleteFood for Thought
ReplyDelete‘This is what I do.’ He held the bread in front of him, huffed and flamed it a light golden brown.
His companion looked at him with renewed interest as he buttered the result.
‘I fitted in well,’ he continued, ‘or so I thought, until I sneezed and set fire to the curtains. From that day on I was estranged from my family.’
‘Their loss my gain,’ said his companion as he lifted another slice. ‘More toast?’
This made me chuckle, Michael, and admire your subtle use of the prompts.
Deleteyes, nice one, this!
DeleteThoroughly amusing. Would like to get more details on who the character is and what kind of world it takes place in. I'm pretty sure though that it's not a serial. Too bad. ;)
DeleteStanding on its own like this, there is room for the reader's imagination to sketch the characters, and I like that aspect very much. Big fantasy in a brief passage.
DeleteWould you look at this, the Captain came early this week!
ReplyDeleteInfinity 111
I been studying my charts with interest to see where I could make landfall for help. I knows these waters but never thought of them in this way before, the need to find someone. I be looking for a tricksty man estranged from his people, he be purer of mind than thems as serves a community. There be a place a thousand leagues from here, with a strong head wind we could make it in a few days. The Creature’s been fed, it be quiet for now. I can wait.
What I can’t wait for is that toast I smell.
So, I'm hoping for strong winds and a solution, albeit from a 'tricksty' man, for the Captain next. Hope his toast brings him enjoyment in the meantime.
DeleteFun line at the end. The rest is just as good as always. Excited to see how it will continue. ;)
DeleteI've only read a few of these episodes and already feel invested in the story. Your voice carries it well. Like it much.
DeleteThe Immortal 5
ReplyDeleteSmoke tendrils rose from the bullet hole in my chest. My estranged senses registered the smell as burnt toast. My eyesight slowly faded as I fell to my knees.
The blondes ran away screaming - the fun night I had planned was ruined. Darkness followed.
“Welcome back, Samuel.” Death rasped. With a wave of his hand he beckoned me to sit opposite him at the obsidian table.
“ Who the fuck just shot me?”
Death was silent, waiting for me to sit. When he spoke, he wasn’t interested in answering my question. He wanted to talk about our deal.
Oh this is truly delicious! One reason I like this site so much is the way I'm reminded of words I've forgotten about - "tendrils" a prime example. And "estranged senses" a lovely use of the prompt. So, what next?
Deletethis is excellent, so vivid in every way. Yes, what next?
DeleteLove when he asks who shot him. Make a deal with the devil, and he stacks the deck in his favor. Dark and spicy writing.
Delete40-LOVE
ReplyDeleteVienna gave Bobby Ventimiglia the spiel she had been saving for such an encounter at the club house. She intimated they’d been estranged long before she split; the undersized prick he had to offer others was in jeopardy due to her pool boy’s untreated chlamydia, and wondered why he was on the courts as he’d never played well anyway. She had no interest in makeshift apologies. He was toast after that, still carrying a torch he wouldn’t let on to. For effect, she bit off the end of a celery stalk and dropped it on a plate before walking away.
I already have the added pleasure of hearing your voice read this wicked piece aloud, and am extra pleased that you used 'toast' (and in conjunction with 'torched') this way - I anticipated this version to appear earlier.
DeleteAnd oh, the celery!