Our winner this week is Zaiure with Bombshell: Fantastic dialogue and a great last line. I liked the pacing as well. Thank you!
Also in the winner's circle is Antonia Woodville with Infinity 92: Another story will a killer last line. I am envious of how long you have kept this story both interesting and moving at a good pace. Thank you!
The Tome has offered up new words:
Loom
Dish
Tale
The usual rules apply: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialized fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and use of the words and stems are fine.
Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media best pleases you and, if you like, remind your friends that we are open to new and returning writers.
Since I'm so very late this week, we'll go 'til Sat, April 4th, with winners and words on the Sun, April 5th
The Gates are Open!
Thank you! :) Loved the challenge words. And congrats to Antonia.
ReplyDeleteHope everyone has fun this week!
Congratulations Zaiure and Antonia. Personally I'd've been hard put to choose a winner last week, the standard seemed exceptionally high.
ReplyDeleteGood words.
Sandra,
ReplyDeleteIt was VERY difficult to choose! There are many weeks when I simply want to declare all of you winners, not because I'm lazy, but because you are ALL just that good! ;)
Congrats to Zaiure for winning with a stunning piece of writing. and thank you for my placing! I did like that episode and that last line took me by surprise when it appeared on the screen, as writing does sometimes. So, here I am, a Wednesday with the Captain's brooding thoughts after all that went on with the Creature, it had to have an effect and it has. I've had a good evening of work, cleared letters, emails, enquiries about the Richard III Foundation (the discovery and burial of the bones has been marvellous but I knew well it would generate more enquires = more work!) and the hands ache now. Bit like the Captain, I am aware of the ageing process... here goes. another Infinity instalment.
ReplyDeleteInfinity 93.
Another storm looms over the ocean, ready to drop its burden of rain and hail, a dish of mixed weather, that be sure. This old cap’n done seen his fair share of such things and could tell of ships that almost went down and thems as did. Tis a miracle I be here to tell the tale… but for how long? Age must catch up with me ere long.
Tis the legacy of that damned Creature making me morbid, aware of mortality, of ageing processes that won’t let go. I have to cease such thoughts, afore fear claims me too.
Ah, yes, that ageing process! ... and this is a weighty piece, looming doom and oh so typical of the Captain's dour nature.
DeleteI think these prompts were ideal for the Captain's tale. Well crafted again.
DeleteThe flow of this is like being on that ship with the Captain. I think I love his introspective moments best. Age is its own fearful creature, and I've had thoughts like these.
Delete"...a dish of mixed weather..." is my favorite phrase here. You always find such clever ways to use the prompts. There is a small part of me that pities the poor Captain. But I love him as he is. A lovely, dark piece this week. Thank you.
DeleteI agree with Rebecca that there is a definite flow to this, putting my mind on the ship with him. Very easy to feel the waves and smell the ocean air!
DeleteOur Captain sounds a little melancholy. Don't know if that be good for anyone! Lovely continuation indicating an entirely different direction of the tale.
DeleteAnd two very worthy winners this week. I feel privileged to participate in such company. Many congratulations to Zaiure and Antonia for such outstanding entries.
ReplyDeleteInn Of The Four Seasons
ReplyDelete(By: Foxxglove)
(100 Words)
Treachery had destroyed Camelot but chivalry still flourished courtesy of Francis DuVale, proprietor of the Four Seasons Inn. Taking pity on Lady Celeste after the magnificent citadel had fallen, he offered sanctuary and asked nothing in return.
Over time, she became a curiosity. From a fireside chair, she worked at her loom and recounted Camelot's glory, hinting at romantic liaisons with a certain champion who would remain nameless.
For a dish of sweet syllabub, she would spin her tale:
"Oh, what a knight!
Late December back in '63
What a very special time for me.
As I remember, what a knight!"
Definitely a song in that one. I like it and had a laugh.
DeleteAh, yes ... December 1963. Lovely reminiscent tale.
Deleteclever piece! Like this a lot, things to smile over and images to draw on to make it all work. Great.
DeleteI actually burst out laughing. Thank you! That was very cleverly done, indeed.
DeleteFive minutes, and I'm still laughing. Antonia has the right of it. This is a VERY clever piece! Thank you!
DeleteLight hearted piece for sure! Really loved the line 'Over time, she became a curiosity', and the cleverness of the tale. :)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteA change of focus [123]
ReplyDeleteA measure, maybe, of his inherent staidness, that breeding with a woman such as Faith he found abhorrent, yet as her release from hospital loomed ever-closer and she unlikely, given the tale of pale and livid tissue across her back, to resume her previous occupation, John Pettinger found himself tentatively proposing a mutual future.
‘Detective weds Defective? Sweet of you, but it’d never work. My clients –‘
‘Former clients, surely?’
‘Oh, there’s enough enjoy fucking damage goods to make it pay! Enough of them police, believing revenge a dish served better hot with newly-sharpened carving knife, and silence for dessert.’
There's a dark side emerging here from previous parts of this tale. It is complex and enjoyable.
Deletesome serious nastiness afoot now. Pettinger never fails to intrigue and entertain us whilst demolishing all around him, in style.
DeleteDreadfully dark but gorgeously done. So much conveyed in such few words is a testament to your talent.
DeleteDefinitely a dark one, but lots of clever wording. Though a bit cruel, I thought 'detective weds defective' was rather catchy. :)
DeleteI know I've said this before and I'll continue as long as it's true. Pettinger NEVER ceases to intrigue! He is truly one of the most complex characters it has ever been my pleasure to read. I had to read through three times to find the prompts. Beautifully woven story. Thank you!
DeleteI do believe we've descended into a whole new realm of darkness with this one. How you manage to keep this level of creativity week after week is totally beyond my comprehension. Yet another delightfully delicious installment.
DeleteThe Craftsman
ReplyDeleteThe craftsman worked the loom, each thread jamming against the other, gnarled hands weaving her tale into the cloth.
She was afraid to look away, unwilling to miss a moment as the magic imbued the material.
Not a word was spoken. He knew what she needed.
She pressed a hand to the dish-like depression in her side, the pain causing her to wince.
‘Not long, mistress, before you wear this,’ the weaver croaked, eyes on his work. ‘Then, when he touches you he’ll feel your pain, he’ll take your pain.’
‘Yes,’ she smiled grimly. ‘It’ll be his death.’
This is what I'd've liked to have spun, given 'loom' as a prompt word - excellent and complex atmospherics.
Deletevery atmospheric! Clever use of the prompts and a serious black arts scenario going on here.
DeleteI love a good revenge tale, and I hope the bastard suffers before he dies. That sort of reaction speaks well of your ability to evoke emotion!
DeleteLoved your use of the 'loom' challenge word and the story you expertly wove. Loved the use of magic in this with the weaving.
DeleteI am aware of "knot" magic, but this is brilliant. Both of these characters are so interesting. I'd be quite curious about their individual back stories. A wonderfully dark tale. Thank you!
DeleteMagnificent and unusual employment of the prompts. This was as intriguing for the imagination as it was for the eyes.
DeleteTrying to dismiss [Threshold 60]
ReplyDeleteThe child I’d never wanted had, at times, threatened to interweave its life with mine; the normal loom of life I suppose, though given my upbringing I’d always thought maternal love a fairy tale.
I didn’t so much wish it dead, as it had not been born. Conceived.
But had that been the case Ravenscar mightn’t’ve stayed long enough to see its safe delivery.
Long enough for me to love him.
And I might not have minded Helvinsson’s never-ending attempts to dish the dirt on him, had I not believed it could be true.
And that he’d always hated me.
whoo hoo, bit like the Captain, a lot of introspective thinking going on here. Nasty thoughts, too. Impeccable use of the prompts!
DeleteOh, young love turned sour has a particular reek, anger mixing so often with self-pity. She's become harder through this ordeal, but I think I might like her more by the end of it.
DeleteReally loved your wording in the first line - 'threatened to interweave its life with mine; the normal loom of life'.
DeleteYou have such an amazing talent for introspection! I often find a character thinking the hardest bits to write. You do it so naturally. Very nice use of the prompts. Thank you.
DeleteI had to go over this more than once in order to find all the prompts. Now that is a true testament to a story that is so seamless, it is like a well-oiled machine. Beautifully put together.
DeleteA little side trip to what Seth did with his time apart from his brother. Don't tell Nate. ;)
ReplyDeleteDark Son Rising
She knelt, head down, pink hair falling to brush the cold stone floor. If asked, she would spin a tale about trying to help me or not understanding what the symbols woven into the fabric meant. She would beg me to destroy the loom as proof of her fealty.
I hadn’t given her leave to speak.
Herbs added to the dish sent smoke curling heavenward. She looked up, eyes widening at the scent.
“Now,” I said, “who am I?”
“First of Many,” she whispered.
“And?”
“I am yours to command.”
“Not yet.”
She shook. “But soon.”
“Yes. So, please me.”
Am I wrong to find myself strongly drawn to Seth? Ever wanting to know more?
DeleteYes, I thought so ... and all credit to your creating him.
I hope not! He's compelling in a way that would probably not be safe, were you to meet him in the real world. But it certainly would be interesting.
DeleteDefinitely a very compelling character for sure, and I agree with Sandra that I want to know more about this part of his life. :) Really intrigued by the 'first of many'.
DeleteHeh...we've been discussing these boys for years, as we've written them. I knew that Seth had a much darker side than even the one he lets show, but I had no idea...I like this! Thank you!
DeleteLovely little "sidestep" away from the continuation. I would love to see this take flight on its own merit.
Deletevery dark, is Seth and it shows in this section, what he's really like - a scary thought. You're bringing him to life more and more.
DeleteSlow Your Roll
ReplyDeleteThe next small town boasted only six streets, but it had a garage and a diner. The mechanic checked the dents in my bumper.
“1970 Dodge Charger. Four door! They got popular again after them Vin Diesel movies come out. Now, tell yer tale. What happened?”
Seth explained, leaving out the weirdness.
“So….you Tokyo drifted into a snow bank?”
One dirty look and two hundred dollars later, we were sitting in the Deep Dish Diner.
“Listen, Nate. Right before the crash, a small patch of frost formed on the windshield…some weird symbol. Looked like cloth on a loom”.
Lines such as "Seth explained, leaving out the weirdness" are so characteristic of your writing, simple yet really, really effective - I am ever admiring.
DeleteHaha those Fast & Furious movies have been all over my TV lately! :) Laughed aloud about the snow bank and the line 'one dirty look and two hundred dollars later'.
DeletePerfect description of your typical small town, that's for sure. As Sandra noted, that "Seth explained...:" line is totally classic.
Deleteclever narrative around clever dialogue... brilliant instalment
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 7-Shadows And Secrets
ReplyDelete(By: Foxxglove)
(100 Words)
The Porter nudged his delivery trolley toward the back of the Canteen and through the door now marked "Pantry" instead of "Asylum." Beyond the threshold, indistinct shapes loomed large and silent but within the shadows, Clive Bailey thought he spied a pinpoint of light.
"Rear exit?" he asked.
"Well," began the little girl.
The Conductor tutted. "Now, what did Miss Constance say about telling tales?"
The child pouted and averted her eyes to a purring Marmalade lapping milk from his crystal dish.
The Conductor turned his attention to Clive.
"The blue counter! Wise choice, sir."
He paused. "Or maybe not."
Oooo definitely love your scene building with this serial. Feels like some old movie that I can't help but watch! 'Pantry' vs 'Asylum' definitely sets a foreboding tone, and really loved the final line. Continue please! :)
Deletethere's an atmosphere of brooding menace here which gets thicker with every instalment.
DeleteHad to read twice to find the prompts - another superbly in character episode.
ReplyDeleteMess & Trespass
ReplyDeleteBarely a finger-width above 5 feet, lynx-eyed Claire could not be said to loom, and yet everything, including me, seemed small in her presence. Even the darkness sulked under her eye, choosing my back to press upon, until I almost knelt at her feet, like a suppliant to her queen. Staring at me, at the room around us, at the shattered dish at her feet, she was already crafting a tale to absolve us from our trespass.
The night-watchman blundered in a moment later, flashlight blinding as he barked something harsh and unintelligible.
“We’re ghost-hunters,” Claire said.
The man’s eyes bulged.
Already set up by the opening line, "Even the darkness sulked under her eye, choosing my back to press upon" left me open-mouthed with awe. To read such richness in 100 words, for free, is why I keep coming here. Thanks Zaiure.
DeleteWhat an impeccable talent for conjuring atmosphere...and in 100 words, no less. That's all I have to say!
Deleteit is atmosphere which is the hardest to convey yet here it's an integral part of the piece, beautifully done.
DeleteI must apologise for not being so active the last couple of weeks but my nephew has been in very much a critical condition in hospital which has shuffled priorities for the time being, that being said I may not get to comment currently but still trying to write a little. I have included the challenge tale I wrote for last week as well simply for the flow of the story but of course only the second part is for this weeks challenge.
ReplyDeleteThe Root of All (5)
There was little room to escape as Trent lay still in the distance, the rest of the team nowhere; the intensity of the event found me short of breath as I struggled to understand what was happening, who we antagonized.
I hoped to find something in the chamber to help pry the swords aside but could see nothing of use, my torch shone over the walls causing an eerie iridescent glow from the seemingly plain stone; in the false light my eyes played tricks on me as I thought I saw the mossy archway moving in organic swirls
The Root of All (6)
But Trent’s fate loomed deep within me, I yearned to tend to him and see what had happened; beside the fact he was the only one who could decipher the temples tale written upon the walls of the entry chamber he was a friend above all.
I tried to steel myself against the negative possibilities as I looked for a way to escape yet nothing seemed feasible. Despite the odds Trent had always been the first to dish out praises when others would tell me what couldn’t and sometimes shouldn’t be done, mercy help me if he should perish.
Sorry to hear of your nephew's situation, Rob, hope there's good news soon.
DeleteThank you for posting both episodes which, taken together, underline the strength of your voice, and Trent and the narrator both becoming increasingly rounded and compelling.
Sorry to hear about your nephew.
DeleteI've always loved stories with archaeological elements mixed in and thought this was really well done, creating a dark, interesting world for the characters. Loved the description of the archway in the first piece.
So sorry to hear about your nephew, Rob. I do hope things improve very soon. Your two latest installments followed what went before without missing a beat. I do hope you manage to continue this lovely little piece.
Deletelots of thoughts heading your way, Rob. So pleased you managed to write these, you've not lost your touch, they're good. The story moves inexorably on, taking us with it.
DeleteA Work In Progress
ReplyDeleteKaia was not sated. But for now I was sweaty, bloody, and on my knees before her.
Her chocolate silk accent washed over me like balm, soothing welts on my back and mind.
“You, Nate, are but one thread on a loom. Every thread that interweaves with yours touches your life in some way. Your brother, your uncle, friends long dead and even people and …things you have yet to meet. Some of that tale can be seen by such a one as me. The tapestry you are weaving is dark, indeed.
She gestured to the dish of food.
“Eat.”
Annnnd since my introduction didn't go through. This is a bit of Nate's time away from Seth.
DeleteBeautiful description of Kaia's voice. :) Favorite line of this piece!
DeleteAnd so, we also get a glimpse into the world of the "other side of the coin." Do I want to dwell on what Nate just experienced? I'm really not sure, but I do know I'd like to find out a little more about it! Oh, and "chocolate silk accent:" -- from what unique creativity pool do you draw these gems?
DeleteWhen I was little I used to listen to stories on the radio; my favourite reader had a voice which I knew then was dark brown - now I realise that's because it was chocolate silk.
DeleteAnd equally good to get another side of Nate, and hints of his future.
startling revelations going on here, a very interesting diversion.
DeleteAnd that's the game for this week, folks. The Gates are Closed. See you tomorrow with winners and words! Thank you all for playing!
ReplyDeleteInfinity is foundering, stuck on a sandbank, waiting for a puff of wind, or a storm if you have one handy, to shift the keel into deeper water and out into the ocean again. The captain fears that the Creature will find him if he stays in one place too long...
ReplyDelete