Good morning, m'dears!
The sun may be shining here in New England, but my mind is overflowing with the dark and lovely images you all created last week! I'm thrilled to see new writers joining us. Everyone who writes here has such a distinctive style and each new author adds something new and different to an already wonderful and supportive group!
The Tome and I have considered long and long, and we have finally come to agreement.
Our winner this week is Chris Allinotte with Birth: I love the slow yet horrifying build here. It inspires a sense of quiet terror as it moves along. And that last line? Perfect...visceral...horrible! Thank you!
A second winner this week is Patricia Purvis with Worth Its Weight: One of the hallmarks of a really good read, for me, is the writer's ability to pull the reader in completely. I love the visuals your words created for me! I truly cannot stop reading this piece. I fervently hope that you'll continue to gift us with your stories! Thank you!
And now, I have given the Tome its favorite treat of a bit of bacon, and it has reciprocated with new words for us to play with!
Torrent
Ashes
Whistle
The usual rules apply: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialized fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and use of the words and stems are fine.
Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media best pleases you and, if you like, remind your friends that we are open to new and returning writers.
You have until Friday, January 16th. Winners and words on Saturday January 17th.
The Gates are Open!
Many congratulations to Chris for being the "Chosen One" this week with "Birth." What a fascinating piece that was and so worthy of the blue ribbon. And thank you for considering that my little story qualified for a placing. That was such a surprise.
ReplyDeleteWell-deserved in a week of strong entries - congratulations Chris and Patricia. Now to further craft of a torrent of whistling ashes.
ReplyDeletemany congratulations, Chris and Patricia, long may you both enter the Challenge!
ReplyDeleteGood words this week, will see what the Captain makes of them.
Congratulations to Chris and Patricia! Well deserved, both.
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ReplyDeleteA change of focus [113]
ReplyDeleteFlame fizzed inexorably along a fine grey trail of what resembled ashes but both knew was gunpowder.
A trail ending with a letter-bomb.
‘Drop it!’
‘There’s a gap’
The flame will leap it. DROP IT!’
‘Get behind the filing cabinet! I’ll dowse it –’
‘DROP it, John! That’s an order!’’
Unwillingly, Pettinger did as Vanessa said, seizing from her desk a bottle labelled Harrogate Spring Water. But tipping out the less-than-torrent increased the size of flame, set off the bells and whistles of their antiquated fire alarm and brought forth an agonised cry from Vanessa: ‘No-o-o! That’s my Grey Goose!’
Good twist at the end. Nice little story. Is it part of another in a series?
DeletePriceless. I have nothing more to add.
DeleteMichael - yes, part of a series - Rebecca has kindly added a a link to my blog above - lines of communication.
DeleteFunny stuff - being equally horrified at the waste of good vodka!
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Deletetry again. The fingers will not co operate this evening.
DeleteAn intriguing instalment, full of twists as usual (LOL) like it a lot. Clever use of the prompts.
That's more like it, no errors this time...
Pettinger and Vanessa are always such a joy! You've crafted such an intricate relationship between them. Love the line. Well done, Sandra. Thank you!
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ReplyDeleteCONJOINED (100 Words)
ReplyDeletePatia cradled her babies as a shrill night whistle heralded the arrival of yet another sacrificial shipment destined for the ashes.
Aware of Mueller's licentious glances from the beginning, she had now granted his fantasy. The torrent of his assault had been brutal but it mattered nothing now she had her reward.
Enfolding the twins in a shawl to cover the hideous ulcerations where they had been stiched together along the spine, she raised their feverish faces toward the rabbit in the moon. The slim vial was a liquid lullaby which quickly eased the pain of living ... and dying.
:::Foxxglove:::
Shivery feel. Would like to read more to see where this tale of horror is going. Nice use of the words.
DeleteBeautiful words telling a horribly unsettling tale. Not sure I WANT to know more!! ;-)
DeleteI was wondering what my nightmares would look like tonight. This'll do. :) Dark and clever stuff!
Deletea fiercely dark piece, if I can say that? Very evocative and chilling.
DeleteWhat a beautifully woven piece. "...liquid lullaby..." is just gorgeous in and out of context! I find myself definitely wanting to know more about this place and its people. Thank you!
DeleteBelated thanks to you all for the great comments you gave me on my last week's story. Now for this week's.
ReplyDeleteThe Trap
ReplyDeleteWe knew they would come. The tracks all funnelled into the ravine where we waited, boulders piled, ready to kill. With luck we’d trap them all.
They were remorseless fighters, always seeking new territory and now they were invading ours.
Sounds stilled. They were near.
A thick line of fur-clad hunters pushed into view. My eyes widened as I saw women and children amongst them.
‘Wait!’ I yelled, but a piercing whistle drowned my cry and a torrent of boulders fell obliterating them all.
The taste of victory left ashes in my mouth.
You have the ability to tell an epic tale in astonishingly few words - this was wide-screen, technicolour with stunning soundtrack.
DeleteThis was totally stunning in its descriptive voice. It could be applied to so many varying cultures and a tale such as that is always a perfect gem. Nicely done.
DeleteThanks Patricia and Sandra for your helpful comments, I seem to fall into that type of tale with these challenges. I'll endeavour to try something different next time
DeleteThat moment of "Wait", is what elevates the story into something truly engaging. Well done.
Deleteanother chilling piece. You guys have excelled yourselves this week. This was clever and very very cold.
DeleteI can see this as either the first, or last, scene of a movie! It's stunningly visual and terrifying. Thank you!
DeleteWow! Thanks for choosing mine! Thanks also for all the great comments. Meant to get back in and comment on the ones I missed, but the week got away from me. Will try to give a few words to everyone this week. And back soon with a story full of ashes.
ReplyDeleteLying to survive
ReplyDeleteA torrent of thoughts tumbled behind a face I’d schooled to ignorance.
‘From what I know of Helvinsson, you’ll hand me over then find yourself whistling for reward –’
‘You know him?’
‘And the man who bested him –‘
‘Helvinsson bested? I heard rumours. An ebony giant some said – ’
‘’Tis true. Return me to him; I guarantee you’ll get double what Helvinsson offers.‘
Cider-maker’s eyes sparked truthless green, ‘The Civilised already offered that –‘
‘I know naught of them –‘
‘They know you, but say there is also a child.’
Ashes of denial filled my mouth. ‘I’ve no child.’
You have an amazing talent for dialogue, Sandra! This story hooked me from the start and it gets more and more intriguing with every installment. I literally cannot wait, from week to week, to see what happens next. Thank you!
DeleteThank you all for your lovely comments, hugely appreciated. Have to say dialogue is where most of my novels begin; it the inbetween bits I find hard!
DeleteThis strikes a chilling little poke to the conscious. I love the virtually total use of dialogue which was so easy to follow. I'm sure that's not an easy thing to achieve. There is certainly no shortage of talent in this forum -- I think I may find myself outclassed.
ReplyDeleteAgree with Patricia that the depth of talent is amazing - it's a challenge to keep up. I like 'Lying to Survive'. Certainly dialogue is one of my favourite methods of telling a story and you do it well.
DeleteI can only echo the above. Great dialogue!
DeleteThe high standards are the reason I encourage people to come here, it isn't the Challenge for nothing!! Patricia, you're doing just fine, don't question yourself, just write your usual good stuff.
DeleteSandra, this is superb. I wish I could use only dialogue as you do!
Unheeding
ReplyDeleteAt first, little more than a whispering, loosening the last of the autumn-clenched leaves, stirring the palest of the ashes.
‘It’s coming’
‘Hours yet.’
Silent, she held her knowledge within.
Two hours passed. A drift had formed, grey against centuries of soot. Roof slates stirred, tapping a finger-bone tune. She whispered another warning. His eyes stayed shut, his breathing steady.
Time passed.
Air shifted, maybe five degrees, setting up a whistle ‘twixt wood and wall.
From nowhere, howling harshness, flinging an upward torrent of the largest of them. Feathered and malevolent.
His eyes opened. ‘Crows?’
‘Aye. A murdering of them.’
Should perhaps say, this, like 'Evidence' a couple of weeks ago, is intended as a one-off. Since I'm wanting to make more effort to do the occasional one-off I'll attempt to remember to label the 'Threshold' pieces in future.
DeleteAh, but now we all want to know the significance of the crows! Two-off maybe?
Deletesuch clever use of the collective term for crows! Really like this piece, it has a lot of potential. File it for the future, you may need it one day.
DeleteYes! A murdering of crows! Brilliant use of the prompts! I love this. Fantastically descriptive! Thank you!
DeleteI absolutely adored this. So many memorable words: "tapping a finger-bone tune" and the "murdering" of crows. The terminology for a gathering of those birds always does conjure up something both terrifying and fascinating. A beautiful blend of dialogue and description.
DeletePiracy Bytes
ReplyDeleteTommy gave a low whistle. The torrent site offered only one choice to download 'Spies vs Werewolves', and that one was in Czechoslovakia. He clicked “download now.” In another window, he re-read the story of the film - how, as cheap as it seemed, the werewolf they used was the real deal, and that the deaths were not down to special effects.
He dragged on his cigarette, tamping the ashes out the patio door. Just then, his anti-big-brother program came to life. The host of the movie, someone called 'Silvermane', was tracing his IP.
Outside, the full moon rose.
Oh dear ... a beautifully subtle almighty thud to the brain - and how very much I enjoyed that "tamping the ashes"
Deletea warning to all who try to download stuff, oh, the visions being created here!
DeleteGreat.
My fear with the internet. Could lead to a great thriller
DeleteAs someone deeply interested in computer security, as it were, the subject matter of the story itself is fascinating. As someone deeply interested in weres of all kinds, the subject of the "movie" is thrilling. Combined they make a ripping good story! So creative! Thank you!
DeleteAnd how "sign of the times" was this tale? A word of warning to all those who would download material willy-nilly. This was an imaginative take on the prompts and truly unique in this latest offering of stories.
DeleteInfinity 83.
ReplyDeleteSomeone – I name no names –whistled up a wind from someplace. Not, I hasten to add, that I get decent meals on board the Infinity but it does for the duration. But at times I long for Shipton and decent grub.
Seems to me that the crew is on edge, be they aware of the Creature, or is it the damn fool survivors we took on board? They baint earning their keep. I’ll send them aloft to be lookouts. Might stop the torrent of complaints. Baint this Cap’n got enough to be a-doing with the Creature on board and all?
Antonia, this is a great story, but you seem to have missed including "ashes".
DeleteOK, for some reason the comments about the missing prompt showed up AFTER I wrote the above. No worries, Antonia. Happens to all of us.
DeleteLoving the momentary step back in action to show us the Captain having a bit of a grump about the pressures of being in charge. Nice character moment, this.
DeleteThese are fascinating entries (and I've only seen a couple thus far -- what delights there are to come!) It amazes me how you can manage to keep the tale cohesive and moving when the weekly prompts come out of the nowhere. To be honest, I wouldn't have noticed the missing "ashes" if it hadn't been pointed out. LOL.
Delete"whistled up a wind" - oh, yes!! And the Captain grouchy again - I'm never sure when he's in this mood, when he will pounce.
ReplyDeleteI like the continuing story. He certainly is a grouchy Captain and the Creature is tantalising. Without being picky but I can't see the word 'ashes'.
Deleteyou're right! It was there, then I did a radical rewrite - it got lost in the cuts I did!
ReplyDeleteOK, apologies Colleen, I'll make sure all prompts are there next week! (blame the Captain... he over writes...)
Ashes to Ashes
ReplyDeleteI shrugged off my coat, removed my hat, and waited for Nate to look up from his pie.
He blinked twice, then gave a low whistle. “What happened?”
I ran my hand over my bristly head. “Long hair is easy to pick up and use in spells. Someone suggested this would be safer.”
Nate pushed away his empty plate. “I’m gonna hate myself for asking, but where did you hold that conversation?”
“My mother’s old coven. I brought them the ashes of the voodoo priest.”
His torrent of expletives was truly impressive.
I grinned. Things were almost back to normal.
It's not taken long but already I find myself speechless with admiration at your felicity with words. So simple, so effective!
DeleteOoooh, Nate has SO much to say about this! Great writing, as always, and plenty to work with!
DeleteSuch great character work this week. Love the details of her haircut, and the reactions are spot on.
DeleteLovely characterizations and the dialogue was seamless. Adore the "witchy" reference being something of a researcher into the merits of magic -- the white variety, of course. (:::insert cackle:::)
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ReplyDeleteWho’ll Stop the Rain?
ReplyDeleteWhen I’d exhausted every foul word I know, I gulped the last of my coffee and whistled for the check. The waitress gave me a look that could’ve withered my balls to ashes, then slapped it on the table. I left a twenty in apology and headed for the door.
“Great. Whacko weather and witches, with the ashes of a vodun. Let’s go.”
The car spewed torrents of gravel behind it, as I gunned out of the parking lot.
“All right, genius. What kind of weather is so weird that we’re the only ones Jimmy trusts to check it out?”
And you're up to full speed too, Colleen - loved 'The car spewed torrents of gravel'. Am SO looking forward to a weekly dose of Seth and Nate.
Delete" a look that could’ve withered my balls to ashes"
DeleteLine of the week right there.
What a marvelous continuation of "Ashes to Ashes." The pair of you make quite a writing team. Ever considered collaborating with eye toward publishing?
DeleteThat's it, m'dears. The Gates are Closed. See you all tomorrow with winners and words!
ReplyDelete