Monday 20 April 2015

Of Straws and Camels

Hello, lovelies! 

Miss Colleen is consumed with matters great and small...which is to say that she's buried under a mound of crap life has foisted upon her and is currently attempting to dig herself out. My particular camels are not so overburdened, having eaten half the straw that threatened to break their backs. Convenient, that, although perhaps not to the straw merchant. At any rate, I have stepped in to do the hosting honors for the nonce.

What an amazing group of writers we have here! The variety and depth of the stories never ceases to amaze me, and while the nature of a challenge demands a winner, I want you all to know how very much I value you sharing your talents with us. The support we show each other in commenting when we can is another reason to cherish this community. Thank you for any and all of that.

The winner this week is Zaiure for Wolf. There's a surprising amount of world building for so few words, and the tension was delightful.

Runner up goes to Noah Heinrich for The Hunters of 228 Orchard Lane, which has one of the best twist endings I've read in a long time.

The Tome has fled New England and the post-Boston Marathon party crowd (it being more than a little misanthropic) and arrived to cough up these words and slink off for a well-deserved rest:

Belief
Stripe
Monitor

They seem so innocuous, but I have no doubt you will stun me with how creatively you use them.

The usual rules apply: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialized fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and use of the words and stems are fine.

Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media best pleases you and, if you like, remind your friends that we are open to new and returning writers.

You have until Saturday, April 25.  Winners and words on Sunday, April 26.

The Gates are Open!

51 comments:

  1. congratulations, Zaiure and Noah!
    life has a horrid habit of dumping on us, some worse than others. Hope all sorts itself out for Colleen soon.
    Now to ask the Captain about these words...

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  2. Many congratulations to Zaiure and Noah, two extremely worthy winners. The competition here is certainly fierce and it is a great achievement to make it into the Circle of Excellence.

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  3. Thanks so much and congrats to Noah! :)

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  4. Lure

    Avis believed, and that was the problem. The sounds filtering through the dark towards her, a horrible scraping and slurping, like a mad mess of fluted bone and squelching, tentacled limbs, had created a monster in her head too horrible to fully imagine.

    "Hello? Are you there?" she whispered. She knew they were monitoring her, listening, but they had become much less real than whatever was coming.

    The green glow of the shield stripe on her wrist flickered, then died, and Avis whimpered helplessly.

    "Dinner is served," said a voice in her ear, then static and, "Oh, sorry. Wrong channel."

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    1. now that is a nasty little one, Lure is a perfect title for a perfectly formed piece. Such menace in the last few words!

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    2. Casually chilling that final line, Avis' fears proven to be well-founnded

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    3. Wish there was more to read here, the introductory lines really painted an amazing and chilling image and can only imagine what was to come.

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    4. This is a tale where the reader's imagination takes control and leads to such a dark place that it makes you shudder. Wonderful use of the key words, particularly the reference to the "shield stripe," now that was inspirational.

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  5. Zaiure and Noah - worthy winners indeed - congratulations.

    Bait not yet taken [Threshold 62]

    Watchfulness lit the obsidian of his eyes, monitoring the situation, alert to treachery.
    In jest I’d suggested Phelim act as deal-maker.. He’d traded sex as ransom with Helvinsson; returning home relied on gaining something more valuable. My belief he’d find the puma-black of Ravenscar repellent proved well-founded, Ravenscar recognising his different stripe, also that he’d not want me.
    Observing me, he saw only problems.
    I spoke first, failing to hide raw agony. ‘I heard you’d taken a new wife.’
    He smiled with clear intent to hide the truth. From me? Or only from the hidden Helvinsson? ‘I heard that too.’

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    1. Observing me, he saw only problems
      and right glad I am too that he does... it means this serial has a way to go yet! Now what?
      How much is being hidden and what difference will it make when it all comes out? Questions, questions...

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    2. Definitely a lot wrapped up in the line Antonia picked out - 'Observing me, he saw only problems.' This continues to be a very intriguing world. Very curious about Ravenscar's replies as well. :)

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    3. I've said it before but I can never be sure whether it's the story your weaving that I am amazed by or that you fit so much into just 100 words, and always left intrigued, great work.

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    4. As always, the substance of the story itself is so enveloping that the fact of whether or not the required words are included falls by the wayside and it's only upon a second more concentrated reading focused specifically on that aspect, that it becomes apparent you did indeed use each and every one.

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  6. A change of focus [125]

    DCI Vanessa Quintain. Well-known for lack of morals, ditto sartorial skills; today’s migraine-inducing mismatch of stripes and some bastard Scottish tartan causing John Pettinger to wince on her arrival at the morning briefing.
    Following the usual roll call of situations to be monitored she called him into her office. ‘John, it’s my belief nothing cures heartbreak quicker than a gruesome murder.’
    Relieved she not come up with her usual cure – the sexual equivalent of hair of the dog – ‘Is that what you’re giving me?’
    ‘No, unfortunately. Might turn into that – would simplify – but at the moment it’s a hostage situation.’

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    1. Definitely should be wary of someone who's heartbreak cure is a good murder! :) Loved the back and forth dialogue and Vanessa's outfit of the day!

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    2. The prompts were weaved well into this chapter, seemed to slide in without notice, and great conversation again.

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    3. That's some sense of fashion there. I love the idea of a "bastard Scottish tartan." The dialogue is impeccable but considering the source, what else is new?

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  7. Thank you all so much! And congratulations to Zaiure, that was a great story.

    In the Jewel of Cities (Part 1)

    Belief is a capricious animal. It saves you from the darkness, and then leads you merrily down to hell. Belief is like a tiger: it cannot change its stripes. I don’t trust belief. That probably sounds strange, coming from a priestess.
    You know why you’re here: blasphemy. But you don’t know why you’re here with me, instead of with Amadhi, our lovely torturer.
    The truth is that I’ve been monitoring you for some time. You’ve an independent mind, which is rare, in this city. And useful.
    You always have a choice, even when one option is death. Choose wisely.

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    1. Noah, this is a nice little piece, setting yourself up for a longer story, perhaps? I like that we always have a choice - that our freewill hasn't entirely been taken away (yet) but in this case, what other choices were there? Nice one.

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    2. That this is Part 1 I read promise, and what a well-set up beginning, promising excellent interaction of characters.

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    4. Oooo this is definitely the start of a very interesting story. Really love the first few lines about belief - poetic and poignant. I also thought you set up a very interesting character through the narration. Looking forward to seeing more! :)

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    5. Have to agree with the others in that it is a very nice set up for something ongoing, captures the imagination without wasting any time in getting the reader curious as to what comes next, great start.

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    6. I love all this serialization going on right now. Unfortunately, it makes waiting for the next installments which follow as torturing a process as that which the Priestess above obviously has in mind. Beautifully engaging beginning. I can't decide if this leads me down the path of fantasy or medieval storytelling. Either way, I look forward to much more.

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  8. Cripplegate Junction/Part 9-Miss Constance
    (By: Foxxglove)
    (100 Words)

    "Miss Constance," cried the little girl, upsetting the game board as she dashed toward the diminutive young lady on the threshold of the Canteen. She was stopped short by the handle of a lavender parasol.

    "We act with decorum, Alice," reprimanded Constance.

    The child's mouth trembled.

    "Tears? Nose in the corner!"

    Bootheels tapping, Constance glided to Clive Bailey's table. The Conductor hurried to escort her but was impatiently waved away. Plucking a stray thread from the lapel of Clive's pinstripe jacket, Constance whispered through lips that appeared not to move.

    "Take heed. It is my belief you are being monitored."


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    1. whoo hoo, all sorts of undercover nasties being revealed in these few words, as well as the overall strictness of the poor girl's upbringing, all brought out in a few lines. Lovely use of the prompts, too. Great serial!

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    2. I know I keep saying it, but your ability to evoke period is enviable, and Constance an intriguing introduction.

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    3. I agree with Sandra about how you've set the scene beautifully! Constance seems a strict, no-nonsense woman and the final line dangles a mystery I'll be looking forward to for next week!

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    4. Honestly not much more I could say that hasn't already been said in other comments, the story evokes very clear imagery with the use of such precise wording, well done.

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  9. Infinity 95.
    Tis my belief the meat were past consumption, even with the ginger, I’ve been that ill since. The journal need not know the details… If I put a stripe on the wall for every time… I suppose now I have to monitor the stock, damn cook can’t be trusted.
    Nor, does it seem, can the First Mate, him been blabbing to the others of his thoughts about the Creature and how it fed and what I fed it with. Whispers, lots of them, float to my cabin. Him had better walk steady – or he’ll walk on water ere long.

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    1. Love the 'walk on water line'!

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    2. No one to trust it seems! Love the phrasing of the last two lines, especially 'whispers, lots of them, float to my cabin'.

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    3. Seems the creature's effects will linger long after he is gone, although I still hope we hear more of his whereabouts. As for the first mate he certainly sounds like he needs to be 'dealt' with.

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    4. I had a feeling we'd not seen the last of the Creature, even if it's only the memory of his presence that lingers. I continue to wonder if the Captain's fears are truly founded or just symptoms of paranoia. Again, I am amazed that this serialization has continued now for so many installments and each one a tiny treasure.

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  10. so, where are all the players this week? I am saying the same thing all day, where are all the customers? So much good stock, ever changing, as we keep shifting it around, and no one to buy it! Unfair, I shout... but Tuesday, oh Tuesday can't come soon enough. We have a box of goodies to be evaluated by the local auction house, along with a stack of pictures, prints and a Persian rug, and... the best bit of all, a huge bible, the kind you find in churches only this one's been in a private home since 1856 (the inscription says it's for someone's birthday!) which is in remarkably good condition, two clasps intact, corners, spine, everything. We are hoping for some positive reactions to all these goodies, and a 'yes, let's get them in the next auction' which will be w o n d e r f u l.Meantime, we're trying to make a living!!!!!

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  12. Whoops, double post so had to delete lol. I have been busy but have thought the a little ahead in the tale for a couple of weeks so hopefully (if the words suit of course) will have a bot more shock value in a challenge or two. But for now I just have to continue till I reach it, hope it reads well. Oh and congrats to the winners, the quality of work is amazing all through the challenge and I am sincerely glad to be among so many talented individuals.

    The Root of All (8)

    The storm of whispers had stripped me of time, I woke up on the grass outside the temple with no memory of what had happened or how I got out; all I was certain of was I had passed out from whatever swept over me.

    As I regained composure I monitored the area and realized Trent’s body was gone; I didn’t want to believe he was dead when I saw him slumped on the ground and maybe, hopefully, I had just dreamt it. With a quick glance over at the temple I decided to head back to the village.

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    1. And, of course, leaving us wondering what you've planned to come next. Superb opening line, conjures magic expectation.

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    2. And the adventure continues. The phrase "storm of whispers" is absolutely marvelous. Will we be given further information about Trent's fate...or doom? How much time has truly passed? Do we really have to wait at least a week to find out?

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    3. Beautiful phrasing with the first line about 'the storm of whispers'. Lack of memory is always a great teaser about missing time. Looking forward to what happens once he reaches the village! Is there even anyone alive there? (I've watched too many video games like Uncharted haha)

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  13. À La Carte
    (By: Foxxglove)
    (100 Words)

    Creative license is non-existent in a third rate restaurant, even for a top notch chef, which is why the stifled Benjamin relished preparing meals at home on special occasions and this was a very special occasion. He looked forward to the experience with much anticipation.

    Striped Bass was Monica's particular favourite and he would monitor the sauce carefully to ensure perfection.

    "Not eating?" she asked when he brought her the dish.

    He shrugged. "When you cook all day ..."

    Monica nodded and lifted her fork. "Delicious!"

    Benjamin smiled. It was his belief that everyone deserved to enjoy their final meal.

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    1. Definitely a surprising and nasty final line! Brilliant wrap up. A cook definitely has a great excuse not to eat. ;)

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  14. Ow - sharper ans more unexpected than a fish bone in the throat.

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  15. Testing the Faith
    Belief is a strange thing. I never wanted to believe in monsters. I have always needed to believe in my brother. And now I wasn’t sure I should. I was about to find out.

    Seth sat at the rickety card table in what passed for the kitchenette of our hotel room, his face bathed in light from the laptop monitor and the hotel’s horrific red and green striped neon sign, blinking just outside the window.

    Between all that and his shorn head, I barely recognized him. That seemed both appropriate and horrifying.

    “So Salem, about that new mojo of yours.”

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    1. How strongly you evoke Nate's grown-up and reluctant bewilderment in that opening paragraph, before then setting the scene.

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    2. Lots of lovely lines in this. Loved the emphasis on 'wanted' and 'needed' in the beginning, as well as how barely recognizing him seemed 'both appropriate and horrifying'.

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  16. Whip Smart

    I settled on telling Nate the truth, or some stripe of it. “You recall me stepping on ley lines?”

    “I was busy being possessed at the time, but yeah.”

    “It strengthened my magic, a little too much. I couldn’t always control the surges.”

    His look was as flat as psych ward monitors, recording but revealing nothing.

    “I found a woman who knew my mother.” And twelve more. “It took a while, but I’m fine now.”

    It was best he not know of the coven’s belief I was their prophesied savior.

    “Did it involve deciphering your mother’s spellbook?”

    He remembered. Damn.

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    1. Oh Seth! Devious dialogue, killer last line.

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    2. Loved the creativity of the line about psych ward monitors! And the pace of this drives us forward to another bated breath until the next piece is revealed.

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  17. Ok, now let me try again... blogger has thrown me out 5-6 times tonight, not recognising my profile, nada!!
    So, Rob, this is good, leading us further into the murky depths of whatever is going on here!
    Patricia, clever one! liked it a lot.
    Colleen, Rebecca, great instalments, keep it going!
    Now I am truly calling it a day. 10.15, been fighting Blogger for almost 15 minutes now, had enough!!
    See you all soon...

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  18. What excellent work everyone has done this week! Thank you all for playing. The gates are now closed.

    Either Colleen or I will be about tomorrow to give you winners and words.

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