I’m at a Crimewriting weekend near Gretna this weekend.
Four of my favourite writers running workshops and twenty-nine fellow would-be
crime writers participating. As a consequence I’m not sure when I’ll have the
time to properly judge and pick a winner – maybe not until Monday. In the
meantime, however, you need words to spin and weave into something so ...
Words for next
week: obdurate pound waffle
Entries by
midnight Thursday 15th March winners and words posted Friday 16th
and I'm awake early, as per usual, with time to say I pick Jim Deegan's 'Invitation' as this week's winner and Joe's 'Man for Hire' as runner up. Thank you all for another entertaining week.
and I'm awake early, as per usual, with time to say I pick Jim Deegan's 'Invitation' as this week's winner and Joe's 'Man for Hire' as runner up. Thank you all for another entertaining week.
Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash
fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror,
fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialised fiction is, as always, welcome.
All variants and use of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links
to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media you prefer.
Congratulations, Jim. Your story is excellent and quite deserving. I am both honored and shocked to have been chosen as runner up. Having read everyone's stories, I realize I am in the company of amazing writers whose skill and creativity will challenge and humble me each week.
ReplyDeletecongrats, Jim and Joe, you're both becoming exceptional writers!
DeleteWay to go Jim and Joe. It's always a thrill to see you name in bold faced type.
DeleteAnd congratulations to you, Joe. Your imagination and writing skill fit in perfectly with our group.
DeleteHis obdurate determination, while admired by most, I found simply annoying. Once he got an idea in his head, he wouldn't let go.
ReplyDelete"GO pound waffles." I told him as he tried to talk me into this outlandish idea.
"Come on, Skeezy. I need your help."
I hated that nickname. I hated him for resorting to it. I hated him. I stood up, ready to leave, to end this.
Brett touched my sleeve. "You know you want to. Hell, you need to."
With a sigh, I sat back down. "What will we do with the body?"
ha! What a great last line! Loved his reluctance to get involved too, natural dialogue and thoughts.
DeleteBrett knows Skeezy pretty well to anticipate his friend would do the dirty work because he needed to. Really cool story.
DeleteGreattwist. I really enjoyed his reluctance. Good work
DeleteThe art of persuasion, beautifully illustrated.
DeleteGreat dialogue and great choice of nickname too. The art of persuasion at its superb best.
DeleteBoys will be Boys
ReplyDeleteWe found Ollie at an all-night fight club in South Detroit; nearly three hundred pounds, solid as iron and as obdurate as a bull ox. His pain tolerance went beyond that of human comprehension but Eddy went too far one night with the penis in the waffle iron dare. One look at Ollie’s mangled manhood and we allowed him five minutes alone with Eddy.
If we’d known Eddy would be shitting in diapers and eating through a straw from then on, we probably would’ve done otherwise; but what’s done is done.
We may be total assholes, but we’re loyal as hell.
a serious nitty gritty piece of writing, John, leaps off the screen. What a fantastic start to the week!!
DeleteThat was a great story. Your description of Ollie in so few words was wonderful. I can picture him. Well, at least from the waist up!
DeleteThere's a lot to be said for loyalty, John, and you captured it beautifully with this writing!
DeleteI have no response lol. Ouch!
DeleteOuch indeed, and mercilessly hard-hitting.
DeleteAnd how close to the bone was this little tale? I think Antonia said it best with "gritty." Made me squirm...lord only knows what it did to our male population!!!
DeleteCongratulations to last week's winners. Sorry I didn't get back to comment. My vertigo has now subsided into minor lightheadedness and a vague occasional dizzy sensation. Not pleasant, but nowhere near as bad as the constant spinning. With luck, I will return this week with my contributions and comments. Again, nicely done Jim and Joe (sounds like a country singing duo!!!) :)
ReplyDeleteRETALIATION
ReplyDeleteDamn you, Antonia! How in Heaven’s name did you conjure up this week’s words? Did the devil himself furtively funnel them to you, or are you simply a heartless sadist who enjoys dispensing immeasurable anguish upon neophyte writers? Even a totally merciless miscreant wouldn’t saddle us struggling scribes with such a preposterously impossible trio of words!
I have half-a-mind to track you down, look you in the eye and tell you to pound sand!
But wait … obdurate as you are, that retaliation wouldn’t make a dent.
Instead, I think I’ll surreptitiously sprinkle some glass shards into your waffle batter.
A clever way to use the prompt words, but poor Antonia... luckily, I think her sense of humor is pretty strong. I think you spared the real culprit though...
DeleteThe use here of 'pound', both RJ's waffles and your sand, implies a use of the word I'm not familiar with. But this piece has inspired me to go see out further ... interesting words!
DeleteI apologize if my attempt at humor was somewhat lacking. I meant no offense.
DeleteI don't believe there is any need for apologies, J.E. This was magnificent and so unique. I for one loved it.
DeleteLoved it. Funny, great use of language and excellent use of the prompts. This is a strong piece.
ReplyDeletetis very funny, loved it. I've had Americans using the terms 'pound sand' and 'pound salt' which tells me they're not entirely certain which one it's supposed to be - (stitches up lips and fingers before she says anything else on that topic)
DeleteIt's good to see you thinking completely outside the box here.
Breakfast in the Country
ReplyDelete"Smells good. Is that a waffle?"
“Coffee, waffle and bacon. Come eat.”
“Lots of bacon?”
“I cut a pound. I love the sound. It sizzles.”
“What I hear are those damn screams. They’re very aggravating. You can be so obdurate.”
“What?”
“Stubborn. Pig headed. We should stop the screaming. You just won’t give in.”
“No one will hear, way out here.”
“But I can. It’s annoying, and someone might hear.”
“No one would care. He’s only some drifter. Anyway,” she said, turning to him, hands and knife bloody, teeth red and dripping. “You know I like my bacon fresh.”
This is a story that could take place in my home state of Texas. We have these sort of people living in the hill country. Great tale!
DeletePretty gruesome... and it started so humbly. I used to like bacon.
DeleteYikes. That turned my stomach, well and truly.
Deletegory and precisely delineated to bring out the gore, too. Great story, Joe
DeleteTold in virtually nothing but dialogue. I really love reading those. Hopefully, it won't spoil my great affection for bacon. This would have fit very nicely into an "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" production.
DeleteWhole Different Animal
ReplyDeleteBelieves he can sail in and out my life on a whim? Not going to happen!
"Obdurate," he accuses, "and even worse, delusional to imagine I'll stay."
"Don't waffle," I snap through tears and pounding heachache. "Tell me how you really feel!"
Different now though. He's adorable and adoring, thanks to that skill I acquired while working in the Aegean Islands. He refuses to leave my side even for a moment. To think he once called ME clinging and pigheaded!
And I simply love the squeals -- I assume of delight -- when I tweak his cute little curly tail.
That was wonderful. Funny. I guess not for him, but if you mess with a sorceress, you end up a future porkchop!
DeleteI'm not entirely sure what I just read, but i liked it. Very quirky and intriguing.
Delete"I assume of delight" - your trademark subtle wickedness Patricia - well done.
Deletegood one, Patricia, sure sign you're recovering from that vertigo, horrid condition.
DeleteTo John: I often fear I get a bit too obscure with my references. This is probably one of those. Regardless, I'm pleased you liked it...and that's really all that matters.
DeleteAnd To Antonia: Horrid condition indeed. I've not had many episodes, thank heavens, but each one seems to put me out of commission for about a week, even after the spinning itself has subsided.
DeleteFalse Sense Of Security
ReplyDeletePounding the beat is basically a thing of the past, they told him. This day and age offered far more modern tools for success. Maybe he'd make the occasional arrest if willing to change his modus operandi. But he was an obdurate and antiquated sod set in his ways. He assumed they referred to computerized malarkey. He was old school.
Most nights were washouts but every so often, a likely candidate would be winkled out from the shadows. He'd invite them for breakfast at the local Waffle House. Put them at ease. Make them less suspicious.
Worked every time.
Ooh, another stand-alone... love it. I get the feeling this copper is doing a little more than policing with his breakfast encounters. Nice writing.
DeleteSuperb! I'm reading Benjamin Myers 'These Darkening Days' at the moment, he tends towards the noir and this would fit right in.
Deletethere's an overall coldness to this which is perfect for the storyline.
DeleteAh... the ways of the wicked! Loved this one!
DeleteChange of focus [273]
ReplyDeleteIn the face of both Pettinger’s obduracy in reiterating his alibi and the absence of evidence he was released and driven north. Briefly visiting his office to apprise his team, DS Ben Brickwood, eyeing unshaven face and waffle-textured clothes, sniffed ostentatiously, ‘Christ, you stink!’
Pettinger grunted. ‘Memo to self, next dinner suit I buy will be from Poundland. Especially if I’m heading for a police do –‘
‘If you’re going to bin that, don’t bother going home: news of a body in a slurry pit’s just coming in.’
‘Slurry pit? Where?’
Unavoidable grin: ‘Just down the road from your house.’
Somebody is really out to get Pettinger it seems, but unless the body has been dead a while, the guy has a pretty good alibi for this one too. Looking forward to the next one.
DeleteAnd more hot water heading Pettinger's way. He seems to be a magnet for trouble lately. Perfect use of the prompt words as they virtually disappeared in the fabric of the story. I just glanced up to see the number "273." What an achievement!!!
DeleteGreat use of the prompts! waffle-textured clothes = wonderful!
ReplyDeleteyes, I liked waffle-textured clothes too! Slurry pit, oh my, now we are reaching nasty depths.
DeleteNot a worm, but turning [Threshold 201]
ReplyDeleteRaven, who’d stubbornly refused to fuck me for far too long, had difficulty recognising a similar level of obduracy in me. Discomfort of his wounds forced him to lie on his front; the imprint on his chest from the waffle-woven blanket further undermined his once-total ability to terrify and my heart no longer pounded merely at the thought of his displeasure.
Nevertheless, my involuntary shriek as his hand shot out and gripped my arm held an element of fear. The hot obsidian of his eyes commanded obedience.
‘You will do as I say.’
I looked away, eyes mutinied. ‘Make me.’
These too have quite the remarkable relationship. I'm often at odds as to routing for Raven or bitching him out. You've created a flawed character with plenty of intrigue to keep one interested.
Deleteflawed characters are hard to portray well, you do it well.
DeleteRaven is an extremely interesting character to follow.
DeleteThis seems to be taking a most unexpected turn. Both main characters are totally fascinating. Love the idea of mutinous eyes. What a perfect description of the emotion.
DeleteKursaal (Episode One Hundred Ten) - "If First You Don't Succeed"
ReplyDeletePrimrose Lee and little Libby Pepperdyne met to mull over their respective vendettas, which had thus far gone awry. Crow failed to consume the special Gentleman's Relish prepared by Libby and Arbuthnot Jester managed to easily foil the elixirologist's not-so-subtle attempts at revenge.
Regardless, both remained obdurate. Libby vowed to crush the clown's threatening presence. Primrose swore that the diminutive Arby would pay dearly for imposition of his cavalier humiliation. Neither were given much to waffling over a situation. Onward and upward. New plans to be formulated.
"In for a penny..." proposed Primrose.
"In for a pound." Libby agreed.
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To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: Little Libby Pepperdyne, Primrose Lee, Crow and Arbuthnot Jester have all featured in previous episodes.
that was a perfect example of how to use the prompts!
DeleteAnd much more to look forward to. Neatly constructed scene.
DeleteThe Mad Italian 46
ReplyDeleteThose who are obdurate, those who are weak, those who take too long to reason something through, all have that most fatal of public speaking flaws, waffle. They can pound their fists on their table, wave their Order papers, shout, hiss and generally try to disrupt a session but they are no more than flea bites to the overall mechanism which makes up your government. I referred to this last time, the ‘grey men in suits’, these are the ones right now arguing about retaliations against Russia. Anyone could tell them it is a sheer waste of time.
Always a fascinating read, this was reminiscent of Nikita Khrushchev's shoe-banging incident back in 1960. Regretfully, some things never really change, a fact that our Mad Itialian seems to recognize only too well.
DeleteAin't it the truth! You hit the target dead center, Antonia.
DeleteCripplegate Junction/Part 136 - Stationary
ReplyDeletePoppy's suitcase was packed for every eventuality, from polka dot sundresses to waffle thermal underwear. Despite several fits and starts, however, the train remained at the platform. Still, Poppy didn't mind waiting, particularly since Marmalade had yet to materialize.
She sometimes feared Violet (her sister and manageress of the now abandoned Crossing Canteen) had somehow dispatched the feline to the pound, forced to mingle with mangy misbegotten moggies. Unlikely though, Marmalade being far too cunning for the witless ex-waitress.
Still, rumour was that Violet (an obdurate allurophobe) had once dealt with Marmalade's unweaned littermates in just such a heartless fashion.
--------------------------------------------------------
To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
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Patricia, a warning. If you cause Marmalade to be damaged there might be riots and mayhem. Be careful. Be very, very careful.
DeleteI think Marmalade just peeked at me from around the corner with a rather smug attitude of, "better watch your step, missy!!!"
DeleteI know how these cats, these deceptively sweet felines, tend to play games with people, Marmalade is master of the games, so I do think he'd escape anything set up to entrap him...
DeleteI don't think I'd be messing with Marmalade; cats have great memories - especially wicked ones.
DeleteGoing out tonight?
ReplyDeleteI checked my watch. Asked my brother, ‘She ready yet?’
‘Nah. Bet you a pound to a penny she’s on the phone to her sister. Waffles on for hours, saying sweet FA.’
Impatient – we were already twenty minutes late – I went upstairs, with the intention of knocking on the bedroom door; geeing her up. Came down without doing so.
‘Told you so –‘
I looked at him. Obdurate old sod but heart in the right place. As was hers. After I told him what I’d overheard – no sisterly conversation necessitates those sort of responses! – he knew exactly where to strike.
oh good one, saying everything without giving anything away. Brilliant.
DeleteMy imagination took me down several different paths on this. Not sure which one I'd settle on, but each of them was equally entertaining. In a word...albeit that expressed by Antonia..."brilliant." I do wish you'd let US choose the cream of the crop every once in a while!!!
DeleteThanks Patricia, but truly I get reward enough from hosting this site and having an audience for all my posts.
DeleteSo late I'm technically early for next week, but here it is anyway.
ReplyDeleteThe Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #120
Tigers Tell Tales
We finished our celebration with some storytelling. Roxie began. As a cub she was brought to those people’s cave and she grew up there, but she wasn't fond of living on a pedestal. Once she understood her situation she began trying to convince those obdurate people that she was just a plush tiger, not a prophet at all. They refused to even let her off the pedestal for meals, instead bringing her only blueberry waffles since they constantly had pounds of blueberries around for some reason. She was very happy to meet Elle, especially since tigers lack opposable thumbs.
Late, but lovely! And a brilliant tiger.
Delete