Friday 19 August 2016

Precisely

At the tiny village primary school I attended we occasionally did exercises in ‘précis’.  I invariably finished mine in three minutes flat and sat for another seventeen watching others slog and mutter, red-faced and frantically rubbing out. I wished we did more of it because it was the one occasion I was able to shine but, unlike Antonia, I’ve never been offered a job on the strength of it.

As ever, there’s been plentiful demonstration of tight-worded strength in the telling of tales this week, one of which was, for me, a clear winner: Jk’s Gostegodd 03. Apart from my delight at the title and the tale, I am each time impressed with how much is conveyed in so few words; long may this serial continue.

Words for next week  are: amanuensis, bow, rattle

Entries by midnight Thursday 25th August, new words and winners posted on Friday 26th

Usual rules: 100 words maximum (excluding title) of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. Serialized fiction is, as always, welcome. All variants and use of the words and stems are fine. Feel free to post links to your stories on Twitter or Facebook or whichever social media.

76 comments:

  1. Many congratulations to Jk. I apologize for not getting to respond as much as usual but the excessive heat in an apartment not equipped with air conditioning forced me to seek out other cooler quarters and consumed much of my spare time these past couple of days. I have, however, every intention of going back and reading every gem!

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  2. And now to go research the meaning of that first prompt word!

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  3. Congratulations JK a much deserved win.

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  4. Change of focus [195]

    ‘I’ll hold.’
    John Pettinger – once Yanno Petzincek – hadn’t used his birth language for several years. Scratchy phone-line rendered rattled consonants even harder to understand. He’d given the name of the man he wanted to speak with but was being fobbed off by someone who claimed to be his amanuensis, which – a sign that he was translating rather than had seamlessly switched – he’d misinterpreted as paramour.

    The child – Aleks, he’d mimed pulling a bow to demonstrate ‘warrior’ – had been washed and fed. He claimed his age as nine and his mother’s name Valdeta.
    Pettinger, wincing, inwardly admitted it was not impossible.

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    1. I absolutely adored this installment. Loved that Pettinger misinterpreted "amanuensis" and loved how Aleks demonstrated his given name. So, Pettinger has something of an alternative history. How delicious!

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    2. I also loved Pettinger's misinterpretation! This is a fun, interesting piece.

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    3. excellent instalment, clever use of the prompts!

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    4. Another fine instalment I loved the insight into Pettingers past.

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  5. Cobalt Blue

    No one had entered Petrovsky’s studio before, and we were rewarded by the sight of many paintings in progress. His pigments were of the most brilliant hues. We'd thought he mixed those himself, but he had to confess they were compounded by his amanuensis, a wraith of a man who bowed at our arrival and served tea in rattling china cups.
    Father, who had wanted desperately to own a particular landscape with myriad blues, was having second thought. He pulled me aside and whispered, “Their value is half what he’s asking since another man does half the work. Come away.”

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    1. Oh, Gita, a real gem of a piece. Stunning in its simplicity and impact.

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    2. I left off an 'S' and don't know how to get back in to edit the typo. Grrrr

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    3. You can't edit, but you can re-post a corrected version, and then I can delete the other one. Downside is you also lose comments.

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    4. Beautifully constructed with impeccable use of the prompt words. Nicely formulated imagery too.

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    5. Loved the imagery & color of this scene & the 'rattling china cups'.

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    6. it's the imagery in this one which makes it so good, I too loved the rattling cups. Words which produce images are always a delight to read.

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    7. A painting of words that magic up such vibrant images, a lovely job.

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  6. Departure [Threshold 128]

    A horse apiece, Cathra deftly avoiding legs, bloodline papers safely stowed, bows slung across our backs, we headed into the dawn, silent-wrapped in separate thought until, three miles or so, voice raised above the jingling rattle of the harness, Ravenscar asked, ‘You didn’t want him killed?’
    ‘No. Old times’ sake –‘
    ‘A weakness. What was he, in your parents’ household?’
    ‘Amanuensis, he used to say –‘
    ‘Dogsbody.’
    ‘Mother’s lover –‘
    ‘Father’s betrayer. Deserves death.’
    Sarcastic, ‘Like you’ve never fucked a wife!’
    He grinned, ‘Not while employed by her husband, no.’
    Without volition, thought became words, ‘My father never employed you.’

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    1. I love the dialogue in this. You always are the best one at the table when it comes to clever dialogue.

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    2. If I had a drum, I would be tapping "ba-boom!" at this point. Nicely turned retort. Loved it! As Gita mentioned, you truly have no rival when it comes to this type of dialogue exchange.

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    3. Dialogue quick and clever, as usual. :) I also loved the imagery of the line 'silent-wrapped in separate thought'.

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    4. razor sharp dialogue, even better than usual. The words suited you this week!

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    5. Rapier sharp dialogue, with a mighty slicing thwack at the end.

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  7. At A Convent In Brittany

    No humble amanuensis enlisted for this directive, the epistle was signed and composed personally by the Abbess, a pious soul who recognized the work of an incubus. The convent's foundations rattled as Father Umberto bowed and accepted delivery.

    Sister Marinaia maintained virtue even as the infant crowned. An instantaneous baptism protected the babe from sinful consumption. In the bowels of the earth, his thwarted sire ranted and raved. It might be centuries before such an opportunity presented itself again.

    The mother offered up a prayer for her newborn as Father Umberto, in accordance with the mandate, christened the child Merlin.

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    1. Once again Patricia, your ability to seamlessly incorporate part-known (to me, at least) myths and histories leaves me open mouthed in admiration. I love this.

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    2. very clever use of the prompts wrapped into the myth, excellent!

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    3. A brilliant rendition, as always and faultlessly embedded prompts.

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    4. I agree with Sandra. Loved the way you wove myth into this. I was expecting a different child than Merlin, so the ending sparked a while slew of ideas in my head. :)

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  8. Congrats Jk!

    I'm going to try and participate this week. Getting closer to the birth of my 2nd child, so my participation will likely be spotty for a while. :} Will continue to play when I can and comment on all of your fabulous stories!

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    1. Look forward to hearing from you whenever you are able - hope offspring two arrives safe and sound.

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    2. Whenever you can make it, your pieces will be a joy to read. Hope the delivery goes nice and smooth.

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    3. best wishes for the birth, and look forward to reading your next piece when you can get to play.

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  9. Diverge [4]

    Waking with a cough more death rattle than mere clearing of sabulous throat, Arshad flexed his arms and discovered he was bound, quite tightly, to a rather uncomfortable chair. “Is this really necessary?” he said.

    Olivare, sitting opposite him, looked up from dismantling one of his prized short bows. “I’ve had a most interesting chat with your amanuensis. It seems you have been remiss in advising the Tavashanar of your…expedition.”

    Arshad shrugged, seemingly unconcerned. “Better to seize your quarry, than report mere discovery.”

    She pursed her lips. “This isn’t about them. You. You need something. Why come for me?”

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    1. "sabulous" - another word defined in my 1964 dictionary and not my more modern one, and one I hope to long remember - thank you. And what a fascinating episode.

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    2. Love the questioning atmosphere to this installment. Fingers crossed we won't have to wait too long for a continuation. Love the "a cough more death rattle" reference. Must admit that I hadn't read your usage of "rattle" before I posted my contribution below indicating the same meaning. And there, I thought I was being quite clever and original!

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    3. hope all goes well with baby no 2 - knowing right now I am pleased I stopped at one, parental responsibility never ends and right now I am swamped by the many 'crises' and 'dramas' mine is capable of having. My opinion is they watch too many soaps...

      This is a very nice piece indeed, good words, good feeling about it and the prompts buried in it so casually they were almost not there.

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    4. Agree with Sandra A fascinating episode that leaves us with a cliff hanger. Really loved the line "Better to seize your quarry, than report mere discovery.”

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    5. I'm the father of three teenage daughters, and I no longer have brain matter as such, it's more like over kneaded bread dough. However I wouldn't change it for the world.

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    6. Thank you everyone! It is fun trying to come up with alternative uses for the challenge words, than what immediately comes to mind. :)

      I sometimes wonder if I'm insane to go beyond one child (though too late now anyway), and I definitely have noticed a sharp decline in brain matter. :) I keep trying to work on novels and short stories, but lately all I can manage are these fun, little flash pieces. I'm hoping it won't take me too long to figure out how to balance child-rearing and writing more frequently.

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  10. Kursaal (Episode Thirty Four) -- "Alexis Champagne"

    By advertising for an "amanuensis," Maximillian Corviday hoped for someone sufficiently educated to understand its definition or sufficiently motivated to find out. He did not, however, expect Alexis Champagne. Her reference portfolio was impressive, but this woman possessed many talents. Aphrodite in human form with amber eyes, copper ringlets and cupid-bow lips, she epitomized burlesque.

    Manasa watched the encounter. Maximillian's composure was obviously rattled. No easy accomplishment! From his basket, Archon's darting tongue sensed disruption in the customary tranquil aura. He tracked the gaze of his mistress.

    She did not like the recent arrival.

    So, by default, neither did he.


    --------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale, please visit:
    http://www.novareinna.com/kursaal.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
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    1. "Alexis Champagne" - wonderful, wonderful name - I see Joan Collins as Cleopatra immediately, and am not surprised the snake has taken against her. A many-faceted episode this.

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    2. a lot happening here, undercurrents, themes set up for future instalments... good one!

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    3. Love the name Alexis Champagne, a fine episode setting up the stall for future dilemmas. I very much like.

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    4. Clever name for sure! And I love the unease of Manasa and Archon. Somehow I don't think they'll find easy prey.

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  11. Cripplegate Junction/Part 59-More Than One Hat

    Sun bonnet framing his pansy face, pink satin bow at the chin, Marmalade endured his role as Alice's baby. A lace-mittened paw swiped the silver rattle suspended from the perambulator's canopy. Alice giggled with delight.

    An indignation for a feline of Marmalade's status, the cat tolerated much given the promise of fish head treats Alice always procured later from the Dining Car, provided he cooperate.

    The Custodian left "Lost and Found," writing case beneath his arm containing Clive Bailey's letter and correspondence addressed to the Station Master. He served as Cripplegate's amanuensis when needed. This might be such an occasion.

    --------------------------------------------------------
    To read the earlier installments (a suggestion only) which led to this point in the tale please visit:
    http://www.novareinna.com/cripplegate.html
    A link to return to "The Prediction" can be found on the site. Thank you.
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    1. I find myself affronted on Marmalade's behalf even though it is a diversion so we don't spot what the Custodian is up to. Neatly inserted prompts.

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    2. me too! I know my cats would never co operate, even for fish heads! Delightful and crammed with deceit, as usual...

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    3. I put my hand up I am indeed becoming very fond of Marmalade, and a great diversion for the Custodians doings.

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    4. Marmalade continues to be my favorite. :) I must confess, as a child, I had an easygoing white, fluffy cat who tolerated carriage rides and doll dresses. She was an incredibly tolerant and loving cat.

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  12. Lady novelist solves a problem or two

    Much as I sometimes fancy dictating, in dulcet, well-chosen words, from a green velvet upholstered chaise longue placed before muslin-draped French windows, overlooking a well-manicured lawn surrounded by silver birches, I’m dissuaded by the impossibility of enduring a ceaseless rattle of lawn mower, leaf-blower and gardeners’ conversation.

    Better, for the books I write, a high wooden balcony, facing the sea. My amanuensis, male and darkly virile, would help with the finer detail of research (abilities between the sheets more important than putting pen to paper). When time comes for him to bow out I simply switch from erotica to horror.

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    1. This is decadence personified in every sense of the word. What a heartless heroine...and how I do love her!

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    2. oh yes, total decadence, loved it!

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    3. I so, so, so enjoyed this. I emitted a painful snort followed by a hearty laugh at the closing line. I'm very much minded of tales of the unexpected by this piece.

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    4. So far my favorite for this week! Definitely a decadent, image-rich piece. I loved the setting, the lavishness, the title, and the killer final line, delivered so smoothly.

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  13. Outrageous Fortune

    The manuscripts were tied with a neat bow.
    "You are not the author?"
    "No. I was his amanuensis."
    "And he has passed?"
    "Witnessed the final death rattle with my own ears."
    "So, you will lay claim to the works?"
    "Fame and prosperity are of no value to him now."
    "And your name?"
    "William Shakespeare."

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    1. Outrageous indeed!! And oh, so clever and sly.

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    2. Bravo, outrageous fortunes indeed.

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    3. Very clever. Love how the ending is essentially neatly tied with a bow, just like the beginning. :)

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  14. Infinity 161
    I need an amanuensis so I don’t do my own writing. Sounds good to me but someone would then know my thoughts. That would rattle a few people, especially First Mate. At the moment him bows to his captain, if he were to read this journal that would be gone.
    Tis only because I be weary this night and the ink in danger of sloshing out of the holder for the weather turned and the gale be sommat fierce. As if the tricksy man sent sommat after me. I’m trusting it be nature, anything else and there will be retribution.

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    1. This has a dark and deadly undertone. Beautiful use of the prompt words and that "tricksy man" continues to intrigue.

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    2. Troubled, yes, and plagued by things more tricksy than the man, but oh how I loved the First Mate bowing to his Captain.

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    3. I felt quite disturbed by the sloshing of the ink well.A deep and rich darkness to this one.

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    4. William picked out my favorite detail, the sloshing ink well. It sets the scene perfectly, giving clear imagery to the strength of the storm and the ship's movement.

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  15. thanks for the comments.
    Congrats to JK for the superb piece last week! and thanks to everyone for great reading.
    Been writing a new novella, all about the cats, which has broken the writer's block that has plagued me for some weeks now.
    Hope you're not suffering too much from the heat!

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    1. Ah the bane of writer's block. A too familiar 'friend' for me these days. Glad you've broke free and hope the words continue to flow for your new novella! :)

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  16. Little Martyn 1665 Week 12

    Alas the rattle in Sagworth’s chest was the signature for her to bow out of this mortal life. There was no amanuensis to note her final words or wishes,
    Elsa had long since fled. Sagworth passed with a startled expression like an old aunt who had just relieved herself in polite company.

    However her expression was nothing by comparison to that of Whinny Wagstaff when she returned from Chesterfield to find Old ma Sagworth dead in her scullery complete with her defecated apology.

    Her other surprises were yet to be discovered when she went out in search of help.

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    1. What a mess (in multiple ways) Sagworth has left behind! I admit to giggling at the brilliant line about Sagworth's passing - 'with a startled expression like an old aunt who had just relieved herself in polite company'.

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    2. So much to delight about this piece that it's incredibly difficult to pin down just one jewel. However, that having been said, I believe I'm going to go for...."complete with her defecated apology." What a picture!

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    3. Now there's a set of richly-stinking images with which to start the day! You've excelled yourself with this William - so much to admire and enjoy, and the prompts so very well-used. Impossible to pick out a favourite line.

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  17. The Adventures of Rosebud, Pirate Princess #39
    A Not Learning Experience


    Back to school again, this time with Indy as my amanuensis. My new school skirt is finished, I even had enough fabric to make a matching hair bow. Turns out the ventilation system still drowns out the professors with its rattles and gale force fans. Great. I was hoping to actually learn something in class this year. Luckily the libraries possess a magnificent collection of informational texts. I guess I’ll just teach myself again.

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    1. Interesting insight into the mind workings of Rosebud. I like this girl's ambition.

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    2. Sometimes you just have to teach yourself! Love this relatable scene, as I've always loved libraries.

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    3. Rosebud such a likeable individual and this a lovely knitting together of the prompt words.

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  18. a delight, so light yet containing so much!

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  19. that's how to write a horror story!!

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