Saturday, 3 August 2013

Take Two!

Good thing I noticed that the post I made last night didn't actually post.  Grrrrrrrr....so what I said was :

Good evening!  My technology issues continue, so let's hope all goes well.  
It's been sort of a quiet and introspective, yet very busy week.  The Tome and I have been dealing with a few issues that require tons of paperwork and much time spent on the phone, leaving time for very little else besides my work obligations.  Looking at our small number of entries this week (3, to be exact), I find myself wondering if I'm not the only one experiencing such a time right now.  

In one of the few quiet moments I was able to glean out of the week a story idea occurred that is mildly reflective of this.  In it, Satan tailors the hell each soul experiences, to the personality of the person that soul belonged to.  For each of us, as writers, that hell was being kept etenally busy with torturously mundane, yet life threatening activities, while simultaneously coming up with one brilliant story idea after another, and never, ever, being allowed to write them.  Forever.  Did I have time to write it?  I did not.  ;)
OK, so maybe it was just MY hell, but I thought I'd share it anyway.

And now:

As we had but 3 entries this week, and as they were all amazing bits of writing, I'm declaring that all three are winners.

Zaiure with Showgirls:  I just love the last line.  I honestly didn't see it coming.  Thank you.

Helen with The Dare #5:  Freddy is just such an interesting character!  I really like the humming to initiate his defensive actions.  Thank you.
  
Antonia with Infinity 17: The captain's continued apprehension about the shadow people, and the fact that the severe weather bothered them not a bit was a lovely touch.  Thank you.
 

 Seriously ladies, each of your entries this week embodied everything that I look for in a winner.  Prompts were used creatively and to great effect.  The writing in all three pieces was tight and yet flowed quite naturally, and each story kept me hooked and desperately wanting to know what's going to happen next.   

While I've been writing, the Tome has brought forth new words.  Lets see what it has given us, eh?

Bury
Sacred
Vibrato

The usual rules apply: 100 words maximum, excluding the title, of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words above in the genres of horror, fantasy, science fiction or noir. All variants and use of the words as stems are fine.

You have until 11:30 PM EST on Thursday, August 8th, to get your entries in..  Winners will be announced and new words will be posted by 11:30 PM on August 9th.


Please feel free to post, tweet, and otherwise network the hell out of or little game.  I'd love to see some more folks coming to play now and again.  I'll be doing the same, as my tech issues permit. 


And now, venture forth and when you return, bring me the nightmares you have wrought!
The gate is open!


And hopefully this goes through this time!

 

74 comments:

  1. thanks, Colleen! the captain is right pleased with himself, might even take the fuses out of his beard ere long and stop trying to terrify me. It doesn't work anyway...
    I love the idea of the story you had there. In 365 Scary Stories I came across one which had a writer going to what he thought was heaven, booklined room, big desk, but then someone came in and put a huge pile of unsolicited MSS on the desk in front of him... I was laughing out loud at that one!
    Now to see what Captain Teach and I can do with the words this week and hope for a lot more players. I miss my daily read!

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  2. Apologies for my absence, it has been manic Since I released my collection, but not in the way I anticipated. Any way:-

    Untitled

    Bury-St-Edmunds Abbey was the shadow of its former sacred self. Appropriate then that a Bishop fallen from grace would take his final breath here. His death rattle matched the Vibrato from the organ of the neighbouring cathedral. As life and other juices left his body, his assassin mused how modern times moved the church further back into the dark ages. There would be no clean up for this job, just a shock discovery and leaks to the press about his demise linked to his liberal views. It was time for change. Back to where it started, Crucifixion for honest truth.

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    1. Very chilling. I wasn't expecting his method of death, but it is very fitting to the setting. I'm curious who sent the assassin.

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    2. Thanks for your kind comments. To be honest I hadn't anticipated that method of death either. it was to be a simple strangulation, only for the truth to be crucified. Now you come to mention it, crucifixion is a suitable demise. As to the assassin I can't decide between the Synod or the WI.

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    3. I DO like 'life and other juices left his body' alongside 'leaks'. Hope you stay around to write more

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    4. I liked " His death rattle matched the Vibrato from the organ of the neighbouring cathedral."

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    5. I don't know why, but the assassin taking time to contemplate the history and place of the church was chilling and made even more so by that last line.

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    6. Absolutely brilliant use of the prompts! I must agree with RR, that last line is positively chilling. I felt like I was right there, experiencing every word. I really like this! Thank you!

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    7. really liked this, the cold almost off hand thoughts of the assassin and the wider concept in which they are placed.

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  3. Thanks Colleen, and congrats Helen & Antonia! I do think it's been a busy summer for everyone. :)

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  4. First Taste

    Kaia is no demon, but she bargains like one. Her kiss was grace and
    chaos. It shot into every part of me like an arrow made of sound - a
    sacred vibrato that would mark me as hers for all who could hear such
    things.

    "Its master hides with the Voodoo Queen. Go to her and you will find
    him. Leave a proper offering and she will give him to you. He means
    nothing to her.

    She gestured carelessly at the boy.

    "Worry not. There will be nothing left to bury."

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    Replies
    1. Loved the imagery of an 'arrow made of sound'. Beautiful and deadly. I don't think I'd want to be on Kaia's bad side!

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    2. I got totally immersed in this piece, great imagery, I loved the dichotomy of the kiss, it conjures up the torn passion that exists within the moment. In short you blew me away, I'd love to hear more.

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    3. 'Her kiss was grace and chaos.' - breathtaking, literally.

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    4. I agree with what Sandra said. An intriguing piece.

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    5. Sometimes, you are a hard act to follow. This was lush.

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    6. superb imagery here, and yes, it longs to grow into a longer piece.

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  5. Hi, sorry I've been away, RL stuff cropped up.

    No title for this one...

    ----------------------

    "You can't cover up joyriding alien teenagers buzzing Trafalgar Square, it's beyond-"

    A familiar theramin-like vibrato replaced the TV announcer; Sherrowin switched perch slightly, to better view the opening credits.

    "Look, bury it in the evening news: people will think it's just part of the anniversary celebrations. We'll have a tut, a shrug, a bit of a laugh; everything will return to normal."

    "Normal?! Nelson's head nearly became some galactic hood-ornament! Is nothing sacred to you?"

    "I'll chat with the parents." Sherrowin disconnected the transceiver, and settled down to watch his favourite programme, cheeks glowing green in anticipation.

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    Replies
    1. Haha love the line about Nelson's head nearly becoming 'some galactic hood-ornament'! Clean, swift, vibrant writing as usual. You're also very good with names. :)

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    2. I love this piece, it gives a tempting insight into a bigger story, that I'd love to read. I too loved the line about Nelsons head.

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    3. Chilling in that nothing changer - insincerity and lies.

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    4. Even aliens like watching Dr Who...

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    5. I laughed at the bit about Nelson's head. This does feel like an intro into something bigger.

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    6. I love this glimpse into a world with familiar elements but surreal details. Makes me wonder what constitutes "normal" now.

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    7. 'normal'? that almost read like normal, so beautifully crafted. Brilliant.

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  6. Fixer

    He was but a wool-bound boy, frayed edges coming undone in her fingers.

    “Bury it in the back, with the other,” he said nervously, voice thrumming like a slackline after someone’s fall.

    She made a disapproving noise, and shrugged free his hand. “Is nothing sacred?”

    “Eveline, please. Just. Please.” Callow eyes flicked to the body, to the naked arm hanging free.

    “I’m not a fixer, Andy.” She could nearly hear the vibrato of his heart against his ribs.

    “I’ll give it to you.”

    Eveline inhaled sharply. “Oh?”

    Andy hesitated, his face turning an even paler gray. “I swear it.”

    Deal.”

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    Replies
    1. Stunning first sentence, absolutely, and as ever you hint at an epic tale in so few powerful words.

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    2. Loved that opening line it captures one straight away.

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    3. I'm not sure exactly what is going on here, but it makes my skin crawl a little. voice thrumming like a slackline after someone’s fall. is a fantastic simile.

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    4. As I generally wait until just before closing the gates to make my comments, I always feel like I'm only echoing what others have said, but...that first line is killer. SUCH a hook. I'm quite curious about these people. Thank you.

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    5. me too, very curious about these people. That bit about the naked arm hanging free, one of those horror lines that needs no more to conjure an image that stays in the mind.

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  7. That's a great opening line, it suggest of so many things most of all of the emotional frailty of (what I suspect is) the killer. There's more plot to unwind and I'd love to see how this plays out.

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  8. Sans internet last week much of the time, so couldn't participate. Here's this week's offering:

    Copse-robbed

    Within the copse a tiny chapel, dedicated to the Goddess Alemona.
    ‘Ale? I like the sound of that ...’
    ‘Not beer: babies, unborn babies. She protects them...’
    ‘Unsuccessfully, else why the need to bury them?’
    ‘Not all thrive, even with her help...’
    ‘D’you want yours to thrive or die?’
    ‘...You have a say in it too...’
    Tao’s laughter, over-loud vibrato, echoed within the sacred walls.
    ‘Not me, sweetling. While I enjoy the planting I’ve long known nary a weed will grow. You should’ve blamed Jack ere he chose the widow’s wealth. And I insist you make amends for your trickery.’

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    Replies
    1. This is what I have missed. On fine form Sandra as always.
      I couldn't resist a hearty laugh at "I enjoy the planting I’ve long known nary a weed will grow" a brilliant line

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    2. Excellent Sandra as always.

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    3. Oh, there's a thread of menace through their seemingly light banter. That last line brings it to the front.

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    4. Hah! This is fabulous. I really adore Tao. He's such a vibrant, complex, character. Lovely use of the prompts. Thank you!

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    5. Love humorous banter where someone mishears/misunderstands something. :)

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    6. that was simply a delight to read!

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  9. This Just In

    Nate listened, still on his knees like a supplicant. Kaia’s husky vibrato proved she had not been unmoved by their kiss. She leaned in. He leaned forward. The tableau recalled sacred contact depicted in renaissance paintings.

    A string of profanity ran through my head like a news ticker. I waited for the breaking story, the story of how Nate would break, break away, break me for bringing in a force neither of us could hope to handle. I tried to bury fear when he turned to me.

    Human or not, he could sense it. “Oh, this is gonna be fun.”

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    Replies
    1. Oh that was intense - I need to know what will happen ^_^

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    2. Beautifully woven. Nate is shrieking at the word "supplicant" but I could see that scene so clearly. Thank you!

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    3. The relationship between these two is ever-tantalising, the final line so typical of Nate, the 'string of profanity' typifying Seth.

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    4. Loved the description of the scene as a renaissance painting. There is a dangerous tone here that has me eagerly waiting for the next installment. :)

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    5. as usual, so much going on behind just a few words. I would wish more people knew how to write this succinctly.

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    6. The potency and tension in this piece, is high octane. Although I have missed the lead up to this moment, I could immediately identify that Kaia is damage about to happen.Looking forward to reading more and when I get a moment I will return to the previous episodes

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  10. A change of focus [50]

    Sex discriminated against her.
    Insistent, body fought mind, thrumming vibrato to his lips upon her neck, fingertips across her belly.
    Intent on burying memories of tumbled bedding she recalled her Attestation, semi-sacred vows of fairness, integrity, diligence.
    Mind strengthened. Body twisted, faced, asserted.
    Vulture eyes assessed; decided ‘enemy’, turned it to ‘worm’.
    Worm turned.
    Arrogant incredulity accurately translated. Became contempt: turned worms deserved disposal.
    She disagreed. Diligence was due to self; fairness wasn’t self-sacrifice.
    The knife about to slide between her ribs she seized.
    With integrity, turned.
    Slid between his.
    Eyes became eggs.
    Raptor died.

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    Replies
    1. Whoa! Did not see that coming. This reads like a poem, albeit a brutal one. I can't say I'm sorry to see the end of Raptor. Better at her hands than Pettinger's. I'm not sure he'd have had the strength to do it.

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    2. Holy s**t! Totally poleaxed by that. This is just beautiful. RR is right, it reads like poetry. It's got a wonderful flow and texture. Awesome use of the prompts. Thank you!

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    3. Thanks ladies - I felt things had got a little stagnant ...

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    4. Very poetic and definitely brutal, as Rebecca said. Was not expecting Raptor's death!

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    5. me neither! and so perfectly done, too!

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    6. Sandra, I'm knocked breathless by the power and beauty of this piece, and at the same time the flow is so hypnotic.

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  11. Thanks Colleen and congrats to everyone! Goes away now to think how she can use the words to close The Dare.

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  12. The Dare #6 Conclusion


    Freddy continued to hum. Beneath his feet he felt a tremor as the floor split open. A vibrato stronger than his, filled the air. He fell silent as ethereal hands reach through and gathered the phantom within their grip.

    A voice snarled, “Is nothing scared. You dishonour spirits. Now we will bury you for all time.”

    The screaming spirit was dragged below and just before the crack sealed, Freddy heard the voice say, “Thank you for finding it. You use the gift we gave you well.”

    Freddy smiled, he’d killed two birds with one stone, the Dare and his mission.

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    Replies
    1. Hurray for Freddy! Such a brave and clever lad. I know this is the end, but it's left wide open, and I can't help but wonder who Freddy will become with time.

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    2. WEWT! I like Freddy a lot. I hope we see more of him. I too, love how the last line leaves so much open. This has been a great story. Thank you!

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    3. Impressive finale - always a difficult thing to bring off.

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    4. Oooh very curious about how Freddy ended up with the mission, and what he will do next now that the phantom has been taken. :)

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    5. it certainly feels like there could be and should be a sequel. Nicely done as an ending, wrapped up perfectly.

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    6. I will go back and read the other episodes, as this finale has drawn me in, and going forth I'd love to hear more from you and freddy.

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    8. Thanks William, I've also shown this serial as my friday flash each week so if you go to this link underneath this last week's episode you will find the whole 6 weeks together in one 600word story - http://helen-scribbles.com/2013/08/09/fridayflash-the-dare-part-6-conclusion/

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  13. Primed and Ready

    Seth stared, gape-mouthed at the spot Kaia had occupied mere seconds ago.

    "What the f..."

    I got to my feet, hands on my knees, and grinned at him.

    "Marie Laveau. Voodoo Queen of The Big Easy. We have to go to Marie Laveau."

    "Nate, Marie Laveau is dead."

    "Yep, they buried her in Eighteen Dickety-Two - St. Louis Cemetery #1 – and that’s where we’re going. Kaia gave me the key. It's gonna take some vibrato, little brother, but we can do this."

    "I think you mean bravado."

    "Shut up."

    Seth sighed. "Before we go, we need to clean this mess."

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    Replies
    1. I can so clearly see Nate's wicked grinning face, Seth's exasperation. Next?

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    2. Love stories steeped in the mystery of voodoo. Very curious what will happen at the cemetery. :)

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    3. been reading some voodoo stories, keen to see where this goes now.

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    4. An interesting turn to this tale, and an interesting turn of the key to be had. Looking forward to the next episode.

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    5. Oh I wonder what will happen next! ^_^

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  14. scraping home at the last moment again. Too much going on in life right now, including The Old Curiosity Shop which is taking my time, attention, imagination, energy and patience - how can one shop do all that? It's working with two men that's doing it and the moody third man who hangs around to drive occasionally... I feel as if I am in an alien environment at times!

    Here goes with Infinity 18
    I be burying my thoughts about the crew and the shadows right here in this journal. God forefend anyone ever reads it while I be in this state of being, ha! Good one, Teach, good one. I be remembering someone talking about vibrato, sommat about two notes together. Well, there be two notes together here in this journal, this set of sacred texts, to me anyway, and those notes say the Devil take the wind that drove us off course. I need to get to those Indees before this load of rapscallions gets bored and wants to turn back.

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    1. You know this man so very well, and et us know him too' hmanise him/

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    2. That journal would make some interesting reading. An intriguing insight into a captains life at sea.

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  15. Oh I love how he views his journal as sacred.

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  16. All right my oh-so-talented friends. That's it for this week. The gates are closed. As always, feel free to continue to leave comments. I'll see you tomorrow evening with winners and words!

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